I don't own the walking dead
Chapter III: Break-up &… consequences of co-parenting Carl (PART I)
In two weeks, Carlton Richard Grimes became the centre of his parents' world. From the day of his birth, many things changed. Michonne changed her perspective on love, and she discovered maturity and independence. She could suddenly live without Rick Grimes. In three years of marriage, Michonne could not foresee such days. Yet, the focus of her life shifted, and her son meant the world to Michonne
Fatherhood knocked Rick out of his comfort zone, and he gained a new perspective on life, which his consumption of drugs was ruining. Whatever demons Rick had would always find their way back despite the drugs, and so he needed to face as much of his fear as he could.
Rick could no longer continue on his spiral of debauchery if it meant missing fatherhood. Rick wants nothing more than to be a great father. Without tangible changes, he cannot succeed. Therefore, he puts forth the needed work to fix his life. Armed with many pictures of his son, Rick found the perfect crouch to support him during the hardest period of his life.
Carl is his mother's soul and his father's reason to better himself. As an infant, he is the prettiest child Michonne has ever seen, and he oddly resembles his father on every detail of his face.
As for now, Carl is the reason why Michonne acknowledges Rick. The events of his birth have left a dark shadow on Rick and Michonne's relationship. Coming to terms with Rick's lies has made Michonne resentful.
The atmosphere between the couple is anticlimactic. Michonne refuses to explore the last two weeks. With his lies, Rick found a way to awaken the feelings, which she fought to bury. Michonne has once again to mourn their marriage. Yet, she has to do so around Rick.
Carl slowly recovers from his complicated delivery, and his parents reluctantly spend their days together while doting on him. The colour of his skin is less yellow. His liver and spleen are smaller. At any moment, they may release him from the NICU. Michonne hopes for the nearest date. She no longer can endure Rick's proximity when she wants nothing but to be over him.
Michonne and Rick receive the good news about Carl's health in the third week after his birth. The nurse is a friendly soul. After spending every second at the hospital, Rick and Michonne have developed some familiarity with most of the caregivers. Yet, the distance has grown between Michonne and Rick.
Two weeks later, Michonne's resentment hasn't disappeared. She is unfamiliar with the sentiment of begrudging Rick. Her anger with him never lasted more than a day.
Now, the reason behind her anger is too strong. Michonne has not made a single excuse for Rick as she normally does. Rick's addiction hurt their son, and Michonne found it harder to forgive. She cannot allow it to happen again, and so she holds Rick accountable for the first time in three years of relationship.
Rick arrived an hour early. He watches Michonne, and he thinks twice before approaching her. The last days have stretched their relationship. Rick does not know how to handle Michonne's anger. She has accustomed him to forgiveness without him asking for it.
"Here..." Rick offers Michonne a chocolate bar. "I thought you'd like one."
Michonne grabs what Rick offers. She nods rather than verbalise her grateful sentiment. Rick does not expect Michonne to say anything when they have not spoken to each other in days. Progressively, he has started to accept the rupture in their relationship.
Their meeting by the intensive care unit has become a routine. He hardly endures the coldness of their exchanges. Rick often offers a chocolate bar to Michonne. She always takes it, but she has made her sentiments clear. Michonne does not desire Rick's company. Whatever limits she had fixed for their relationship, Rick has crossed them with his negligence during Carl's birth.
Rick chooses to fulfil Michonne's wish. He offers her the distance, which she craves. Their sole interaction consists of Rick handing Michonne some chocolate and food. As long as Michonne eats it, Rick is content. He doubts she would feed herself if he did not look after her. Michonne's attention solely focuses on their son.
Taking the seat by her side, Rick waits for Michonne to take the first bites. The young woman knows that Rick will not stop looking at her until she finishes her bare and begins to eat the meal that he brought. Therefore, Michonne quickly eats. She wants him gone and away from her.
Michonne sips water from a bottle, and she shows her empty plate to Rick. Nothing more follows the quiet exchanges. Rick sighs and walks away from Michonne. He only returns when they can enter the room.
The pair silently stares at their son. Every second, Rick glances at Michonne. He knows to keep his apologies to himself. Words no longer matter, only his actions will placate her.
Rick does not want to share the progress in his journey. He does not believe Michonne wants to hear anything else about his addiction, but he understands her. However, Rick has made some progress. He met a psychiatrist, who prescribed him a palliative drug. For the past two weeks, he has been clean.
"He looks better every day." Tired of the painful silence, Rick attempts a conversation. "We'll get him back very soon." He adds when she does not acknowledge him.
Rick glances at Michonne, and she refuses to face him. She chooses to ignore him like any other day. Rick begins to believe that Michonne cannot forgive him. He understands her reasons. Rick struggles with self-forgiveness. The incident at Carl's birth haunts him.
Rick takes a deep breath, and he attempts to speak again. Michonne may not speak to him, but Rick misses their friendship. He can quietly renounce their marriage, but Rick refuses to lose their bond.
"I can't wait to hold him. I hope he can make it out today." He insists.
Michonne sighs and she moves away from the window. The last thing, which she wants to hear, is Rick Grimes 'voice. Although, she must admit he has been the best support during this month. It is harder to be angry with him when every morning and night she finds him staring at Carl through the window.
Michonne sees Rick's guilt, but she refuses to excuse his negligence. On the last day, they have not talked much, but they have spent their day with each other. Michonne undoubtedly knows of Rick's progress. She notices the changes, but Michonne holds on to her hope. Rick has disappointed Michonne one too many times. Although, she attempts to find a semblance of cordiality with her ex-husband. Michonne often brings him some coffee in the morning, and Rick brings her chocolate bars and food.
"Here." Michonne returns with warm coffee, which she carefully placed in his hand. "You're snoozing." She forces herself to say something.
"Thank you." Rick answers.
The follow up is awkward. He does not know what to say. Michonne may not want to converse. Rick looks at her and waits for some clues on what he must do next.
Rick suppresses another apology. The week has been an endless repetition of apology. If he says another word, Michonne will lose her patience. Rick cannot help himself, and his guilt is too strong. Being on the path of sobriety, his emotions are stronger. He magnifies his wrongdoings.
"Chonne... "
Michonne sighs when her name pours out on his lips. She has not prepared herself for the conversation, which they must have. Michonne has taken the path of defensiveness. Rick is a victim of her fears of falling into old habits. Michonne knows how many sacrifices she has made on the altar of Rick Grimes' content. She refuses to offer her son's wellbeing and happiness.
"Rick?"
She braces herself for another apology. The entire week, Michonne has heard a variation of his regrets. Now, she wonders what will be the next words. Fortunately, a nurse interrupts Michonne and Rick. Michonne exhales a sigh of relief. She does not want to play a villain and repeats the same cruel but necessary warnings. Yet, she will do what she must do to protect Carl.
"Mr Grimes and Mrs Barnes, you can pick up your son tonight." She smiles at the pair and leaves.
Rick and Michonne watch as the nurse picks Carl up and takes him to another room. From the corner of the eye, they observe each other, and the moment is a bit awkward. Slowly, they drift toward each other, and Michonne's arms circle Rick's waist. He kisses the crown of her head.
"I can't wait to meet our son." With teary eyes, she whispers in his chest where her head rests.
He relates to her excitement.
Rick manually closes his mouth. He spent the last hour in a daze. His vocabulary only includes wow and amazing. He cannot help his reaction to the scenery in front of him. Carl is having his third meal, but the connection between mother and son impresses Rick.
Witnessing such love warms his heart. The smile on Michonne's lips is brighter than he remembers seeing it. A rebel dreadlock escapes her ponytail, and Rick rushes to remove it from her face. He does not want anything to disturb this peaceful moment.
"Thank you." Afraid to awake the dosing child in Michonne's arm, Rick whispers.
When Michonne turns to face, she encounters eyes filled with adoration. She inhales and tries to look away. Under his magnetic eyes, she blushes like a schoolgirl with a crush.
"For what?" Michonne regains her verbal ability.
Rick points at the little being in her arms, who has taken her nipple hostage. They are both afraid to speak because ultimately Carl has fallen asleep. Michonne continues to look at Rick baffled by his answer.
"Carl," He replies. "Thank you," Rick kisses the crown of Michonne's head. "he is so precious." He continues to whisper.
Rick sits on the armrest of the chair, where Michonne sits.
"He is gorgeous," Michonne agrees. "The head is a bit big," She chuckles. "But he is precious."
"I can't believe we created him" Rick pursues while his forefinger runs along with their son's button nose. "We made this in an airport bathroom, Chonne."
Michonne rolls her eyes at Rick for being so specific. She looks at the baby in her arms and smiles.
"It shouldn't be so hard for you to believe. He looks like a double of you." She replies and finally moves their son's head away from her breast. "He is a tiny Rick Grimes with a decent tan."
"Oh my god," Rick whispers as he looks at his son to confirm Michonne's claim. "I won," Rick jokes. "Can I?" He asks.
Carl has fallen asleep mid-feed. Michonne glances at Rick, who almost overlaps her, and his eagerness to hold their son is overwhelming. Carefully, she places the baby in Rick's arms. Rick is shaking like a leaf and stands tensely.
"It's okay, relax. Breathe, rick." She tries to speak between chuckles. "You aren't going to break him."
Rick's expression displays concentration. He does not dare to move, breathe, and speak. However, his smile is so wide. Michonne corrects the posture of his arm, and she smiles at his contagious joy.
"He does look like me." He wonders happily.
Carl's resemblance to his father is striking, and his metabolism appears to have discarded the half of DNA, which his mother submitted. From the colour of his eyes to the last strand of hair.
"Hey there, Carlton." Rick coos at his beautiful son. "Little me."
The sound of his father's voice stirs his attention. In a matter of a second, tears and high pitch cries disturb the peaceful silence. A helpless Rick faces Michonne. The cries are a bit too advanced for him, and Rick has yet to learn how to carry a baby correctly. His features have morphed into a plea for help. Michonne rolls her eyes, and she retakes their son.
"You won?" Michonne sighs. "Carlton?" There is a mocking undertone to her voice.
Carl's response to his name is a cry. Michonne carefully cradles her son.
"He doesn't like his full name. Look what you did calling him Carlton." Michonne pursues and starts to pace back and forth in the hope to calm their crying baby.
Michonne's attempts are ineffective. Carl continues to empty his lungs with his loud cries. At her turn, Michonne looks at Rick. She is no longer so confident. Early morning tricks are not working.
"Do it, Richard." Michonne returns their son to his father. "It's your fault if he is crying. Why would you call him Carlton?" She petulantly declares.
Rick abstains from correcting Michonne. She suggested each of their son's names. He turns to Michonne and expects some sort of instruction. She understands the creature in his arms better than he does. They cohabited for nine months.
"Talk to him," Michonne encourages. "Sing, he likes your voice." She prompts him. "Rick, talk to your son." She presses him.
Rick stares at Michonne, and he appears confused with her instructions.
"What do you say to a baby?" The serious frown, which his visage wears, is the only reason why Michonne knows he genuinely wants an answer.
"Anything beside his name." Michonne responds. "Talk to your son, pretty boy."
"I'm sorry little Rick for allowing your mother to name you. Clearly, you have a head to be called Kevin, Chandler, or I don't know. You're doing just fine in the way you express your preference. We will run some names by you. Cry for maybe, cry louder for definite no, and silence for a yes. Now Rick or Richard." the young father starts a pointless conversation.
Although, his son appears to be taken by the sound of his voice. The cry is less loud, and Rick looks at Michonne for validation. In a matter of a day, the young woman has become a baby expert for Rick.
"Sweetheart cries louder, you can't settle for rick" Michonne slides near the father of her child. "You already stole his face. You need your own name." She adds. "Rick?"
Her baby does not look like Rick. Even if he has his father's entire face, Michonne knows that he is not a Rick.
"You're cheating." Rick moves away from Michonne when he notices the ugly faces, which she makes to scare their son.
Nevertheless, it is too late because the baby is crying. Accordingly, Rick junior or little rick is ruled out of the competition.
"Chonne..." A competitive Rick tries to stop Michonne. "Let's try this again son, rick or..." Michonne interrupts him before he can finish.
"Please, can we abstain from feeding your ego more? He already looks like your carbon copy, and he needs a name of his own or one, who is a reminder of me." She pleads.
Michonne pouts until Rick looks away. She refuses to allow him to win the name battle though, her son appears to like the name, Rick. Will her future look like this? The Grimes men are siding against her. He already chose physically to favour his father. Nine months to produce a carbon copy of Rick, nature is unfair.
"I think it is too late to argue about names, you already chose to name him Carlton Richard." The new father tries to compromise.
"I don't regret naming after the men who hold my heart. My dad Carlton and you. However, he doesn't have to use both. Carl sounds just fine to me. Doesn't it, baby? Doesn't it, baby?" She explains the choice of the first and middle name. "You're a Carl."
However, Carl is a little nod to her middle name, Carla. If he looks like his father, it is only fair that they name him after her. Carl appears to agree, and the tears cease. Quickly, the little creature returns to his slumber.
"Carl." Rick agrees
2days later
For the last three hours, Michonne has failed to put Carl to sleep. Like many neonates, Carl Grimes has preferences. Most of those are in favour of his mother. He prefers his mother's arms, and he adores her. However, there is a little anomaly.
Since his mother's womb, the newborn is more receptive to his father's voice. The preference for Rick's voice extends to the lullaby and sleeping time. It is the reason why Michonne fails to lure him to sleep.
"I will put him to sleep." Rick proposes while he tries to reach for their son.
Habitually, she allows Rick to conduct the sleep ritual, but tonight it is different. Michonne is anxious, and Carl's caprice worsens her mental state. Consequently, when Rick tries to reach for their son, she moves him away from his hand.
"He needs to be used to someone else putting him to sleep." Her frustrated tone sounds abrasive.
Rick decides to ignore her angry tone and focuses on her facial expression. He does not want to speculate on the reason behind her frustration. Although, he knows her enough to make an educated guess.
"He eventually will. Tonight, I can do it." Rick insists and tries another time to take Carl from Michonne, who still fails to calm the crying infant in her arms.
"Chonne?" Rick insists. "I won't drop him." Frustrated by her strange behaviour, Rick adds.
Concerned, Rick stares at the mother of his child, and he expects a substantial explanation. When she notices how her behaviour is uncharacterized, Michonne attempts to relax. Carefully, she places her son in his father's arms.
"I know you won't drop him, but we shouldn't use him on you only." Michonne declares.
"Why?" Rick mindlessly replies. "I'm his father. I don't complain that Carl only eats when you feed him." He defensively adds.
Michonne sighs and regrets her initial reaction. She cradles Rick's face and forces him to look into her eyes.
"What will happen when you leave tomorrow?" Ultimately, she brushes a part of the subject. "Who is going to put him to sleep?"
Rick secures his son in his arms, and he asks Michonne to wait for a second while he tries to lull Carl to sleep. For a few minutes, Michonne watches him while he sings the French lullaby, which she taught him and learned from her Cajun grandmother.
The number of times she has seen this scene happen does not matter. It is almost magical how the huskiness of Rick's voice silences their child's cry. Rick does not finish the song, and a few lines are enough to put Carl to sleep. A part of Michonne is envious, but the other part worries about the potential repercussions.
Michonne wipes a tear. She has become used to their night routine. Michonne almost believed that they could form a perfect family.
After returning Carl to his crib, Rick reenters the room. He places his hand over Michonne's shoulder and drags her to a sofa. In the last two days, she started to drop her guard, and she no longer virulently reacted to his touch.
Michonne sighs and peers at Rick. He lays a kiss on her forehead and holds her in his arms for a few seconds. Rick takes a breath filled with Michonne's perfume.
"Sit and take a deep breath." Rick's whispers in her ear while he starts to massage her shoulder. "You look like you want to tell me something." He knowingly declares.
After a few content moans, Michonne relaxes in Rick's expert hands. Rick chooses to use his advantage. His hands' movements are slower than when he started, and he deepens his voice. Rick still remembers how to extract the truth from Michonne.
"Chonne, talk to me." He vaguely demands, and so Michonne will not limit the conversation to trivial things.
"It is nothing." Michonne responds.
"Then tell me about nothing," Rick gently retorts, and he kisses her shoulder and her cheek. "When did we last talk about nothing?" He innocently declares.
" I haven't slept for two days. Every five minutes, I must ask you to sing a lullaby because my son hates the sound of my voice or me." A high hysterical pitch coats her voice. "I guess it isn't anything."
The lack of sleep enhances her emotions. Tears pool in the corner of her eyes, and futilely, she tries to prevent their fall. When she attempts to inhale, Rick's perfume is everywhere.
A frustrated Michonne walks out of the sofa, and she escapes the comfort of Rick's hand.
"Hey, come here." Rick drags her closer to him, and he wraps her into a warm hug. "Sweetheart," He adds softly. "Carl only loves one person, and that's you."
"It doesn't sound right tonight." Michonne quietly argues.
"Now, continue to breathe. In and out, Chonne." He coaches her through every breath.
Michonne's anxiety is a common thing, which started after her mother's death. Over the years, Rick mastered calming techniques. When Michonne calms down and starts to breathe, he leads her back to the sofa and sits her on his lap. Rick lifts Michonne's chin to make her face him.
"Carl's sleeping issue isn't the problem, right?" Rick presumes. "Progressively, he will love your voice, or I will record the song." Subtly, he tries to start the conversation.
Michonne looks Rick in the eyes, but she doesn't confirm his assumption. However, years of tacit eyes conversation helps him.
"Is it because of my departure tomorrow?"
Michonne's silence is the clearest answer, which she can give. Rick's thumb brushes Michonne's cheek.
"Is there anything you want to say?" He continues to approach the topic with care. "We haven't talked much about anything." Rick concludes.
"We have a newborn. Can't hear ourselves over the tears." Michonne offers an excuse.
Rick does not want to let his hope influence the conversation. After their hospital's argument, he knows where their relationship stands. When the hospital released Carl, a wave of happiness washed over the couple. For a time, the individual issues ceased to matter. Now, Rick and Michonne are back where they left their marriage.
"Rick..." Michonne hesitates, and she is unsure of how to proceed.
Raising Carl with Rick overwhelms the young woman. A few days have sufficed to confuse her, but she has seen enough to know what she will lose tomorrow. Their family will no longer exist. In many ways, Rick has caused the chaos around them.
"I'm afraid to do this thing alone." She confesses, and she waits for a reaction. "Without you."
Rick squeezes her hands, which he started to hold. He tries to hide his disappointment. He wants Michonne to think of him more. The young father ignores his distress and focuses on Michonne's sentiment.
"Mom, dad, and Sasha should be here in a few days. I assumed you might need some help." He tries to reassure her.
Although, he misses her point. Michonne smiles and thanks him. She loves Rick's parents, and she will need her best friend. Nevertheless, she will feel alone.
"You didn't have to ask them." Politely, she replies. "Mostly your dad."
"You wouldn't have asked for help, and mom is dying to meet her grandson." Rick counters. "Dad is just dying," Rick jokes.
"I'm talking about the long term. I don't want to be his mother and his dad. If I have to do so for his safety, I will do it." She corrects the misunderstanding. "But I don't want to," Michonne clarifies.
Rick inhales, and he rests his chin on Michonne's shoulders. He expected this conversation, but he didn't prepare for it. He exhales and decides to jump right into the sensitive topic.
"Michonne, I get it, and you don't have to sugar coat anything. I want to give him a family too, but you're no longer there." Uncertainty dictates the pitch of his voice. "I heard it loud and clear in the hospital." Rick confesses.
Michonne retakes her hand, and she puts some space between their bodies. She did not expect to brush their teeth. He pulls Michonne back to him and kisses her. She returns Rick's kiss for a few seconds but quickly retrieves her senses.
"Rick..." She starts a plea. "The last time we had break up sex, we made a baby."
Michonne does not want a remake of the airport scenes. The physical distance should do more than the mental distance. Michonne already decided on her future with Rick. It is an inexistent future. He will be Carl's father.
"You're right," Michonne declares. "I want a life without you." She pursues. "Yet, I know Carl is going to have a life where you are very present." Michonne admits. "I heard enough lies. I have dealt with everything I could. Now, I'm truly over us. We aren't going to be whatever we were with Carl in the middle."
"I know it is all my fault, but I don't want to give this up." Rick starts to speak, and Michonne tries to interrupt him.
Without saying more, Rick drives his point across differently. His arms close around Michonne's waist, and he tilts her head to steal a passionate kiss. He pours his emotions and love into a gentle yet passionate kiss.
"I can only say how much I love you," Rick declares. "I love you."
"Rick, please... We agreed." She warns him. "I'm not going to wait for you." Michonne declares.
Michonne stands and puts the entire room at a distance. Rick does not move from the couch, where she previously sat. He merely raises his voice, but he knows she can hear him.
"I get it, babe. I don't expect you to overlook the situation, nor do I want you to help to fix it." Rick tries to say his piece. "I guess I deserve it."
However, Michonne learned to ignore his false sincerity. Consequently, she hears but does not listen. She has a son, and she cannot fall for an old trick.
"We don't function, and I enable you too much." She replies. "You deserve the world, Rick." Michonne clarifies. "Just not mine."
"I won't ask you for another chance." Rick agrees. "But to be fair, I'll fight for you." He says with confidence. "I know how stubborn you're, Michonne." Rick walks up to Michonne, and he takes her face between his hands. "It doesn't scare me that you'll find another man. You won't love him the way you love me." Rick declares. "It doesn't matter who you choose to be with between now and then. I'll be your husband again. We're going to have our little family." Rick clarifies his previous words, and ultimately, he kisses Michonne.
"Richard." She softly says when the kiss ends.
He retakes the hands, which she pried away from him. Michonne tries to avoid his eyes. During emotionally charged moments, the blue of his eyes is too vivid. Often, she feels as if her common sense drowns in the blue of his irises.
"I heard you, Chonne." He smiles. "I needed you to hear me as well."
Michonne sighs and knows not to argue further with Rick. He is as stubborn as she is. If he was not, she would not have lived so long.
"Carl is going to have his dad. Don't worry I won't let you raise him alone." Rick says. "What you want me to do to be close to him, I will. I will do the needful without question. Allow me to be there for him in any way I can." He pleads with her.
Michonne hears his fear of losing his son, and she softens. Ultimately, she looks into his eyes. The young woman discovers sincerity, and she opens herself to a conversation.
"I will need tangible proof. I don't need your words. I need a monthly proof of your sobriety. I want to know that my son will never experience anything as bad as what I experience. Carl comes before your job, you, and anything else. I won't hesitate to take away your parental rights, and notice that I'm making a promise, not a threat." Michonne lies a list of conditions at Rick's feet. "But I also need you to take care of yourself. I met an exceptional man and save him, Rick. You save yourself because I can't do that anymore, pretty boy." Michonne gently adds.
"It's alright. If you want, I will take a monthly random urine test, and you will choose the date. I can quit my job and consult instead. Chonne, nothing matters more than Carl does." Rick replies. "I swear you will never raise him alone. Even during the month of rehab, I will be present." Without hesitation, Rick agrees to every of Michonne condition
During the two months of Rehabilitation, Rick keeps his promises. They have an established schedule of Video calls. Most of the time, Michonne allows Rick's private moments with their son. Those moments include Rick watching his son sleep. However, they are enough to keep him sober for two more months.
Rick's mother has many albums made for him. Between the video recorded and the pictures, Rick attempts to witness every moment in his son's life.
During two months, Rick's relationship with Michonne consists of a conversation about their son. Yet, the distance, which she attempts to create between them, leaves him unfazed.
"You're lucky today," Michonne declares as she picks Rick's call. "Carl is awake, and I suppose he will enjoy some time with daddy." She explains as she grabs her son.
Michonne sits Carl on his baby chair, and she carefully fixes the tab before Carl. She pauses for a second when she recognizes the decorations behind Rick.
"Are you out of rehab?" Michonne asks.
"Sober for two months."
3months after Carl release from NICU
When her phone rings and she reads the caller's id, Michonne curses. She stares at her door, and she asks Sasha to answer it. Michonne sighs and wonders what the universe holds against her.
"Is everything alright?" When the screen connects, she attempts to appear calm and places a smile on her lips.
However, her face is too expressive. In a matter of a second, Rick reads guilt and anxiety, which he decides to ignore. Although, he knows why she feels that way. Her physical appearance is a strong indicator. She looks good, and if he is not mistaken, she is wearing a dress, which he offered her for giving birth to their son.
Rick shakes his head, and he refrains from pointing out that she dressed up with his taste in mind. Michonne wore something, which Rick would love.
"Yeah?" Rick's answer is a question for Michonne. "You look good, Michonne." He deadpans.
Rick continues to stare at Michonne, and she is uncomfortable. She looks at her body, which looks amazing in the velvet red dress. The dress flatters her figure. Unmistakably, Rick displays his jealousy. Michonne rolls her eyes, and she pulls her dress down.
"You look sick and tired." She attempts to regain his attention.
"Hurt my vanity, Chonne, and here I believed that I was glamorous and sexy." Rick jokes while he tries not to worry her.
He does not only look sick. Rick can hardly explain how violent it is to recover from an addiction. Rick's rehabilitation evolved, and it means a cessation of palliative drugs. His body experiences the side effect of years of addiction. Today, he is at his lowest level in three months, and he quitted his job earlier.
"Your face is losing the war." Michonne counters, but her look betrays her.
"If I have to speak Michonne fluently, you like the beard and tussel curls." Rick chuckles.
Michonne refuses to admit it, but aside from the pale skin, Rick's physical appearance is better than last year. He has gained muscle, and she cannot stop staring at his arm. In three months, a lot has changed. Michonne glances at the man, who sits in her living room. She should not Fantasize about her ex-husband while she is about to go on a date with another man. Yet, Rick looks like the man who made her fall in love.
"I love you, clean shaved, pretty boy." Michonne argues. "Not as Robinson Crusoe looks like." She laughs.
"Very funny, and you look gorgeous. Actually, you look ready to go somewhere." Ricks refuses to fall for Michonne's distraction. "Dress like you want me to do things to you."
To his secondary question, Michonne cocks an eyebrow, and she dares the father of her child to ask more on the subject. Rick smirks, and she knows he will rise to her challenge. Before he can ask, Michonne interrupts him with another question.
"Did you call for a specific reason?" She presses him to say something. "It's quite early where you're. Aren't you working?"
Michonne worries a little despite Rick's humour. Rick always follows the schedule, and the call is impromptu. Michonne continues to glance at her living room, and she does not want to make her date wait. Although, she drags a chair and sits down. Michonne cannot abandon Rick when she can sense something is amiss.
"Father and son bonding time." Rick's answers with a strong eagerness, which prompts Michonne to observe his expression. "And I left my job today, no work for me."
She has to overlook his beautiful features. Michonne resists the temptation to comment on his physical progress. She inhales and reminds herself of her actual situation.
"That explains the somber mood," Michonne declares. "I'm sorry about that."
Rick smirks, and he knows Michonne is sincere. She understands his workaholic tendencies better than anyone does.
"Don't worry, sweetheart," Rick responds. "I left the floor to move into consulting. Less work, less stress, but a lot more money." He follows up with some explanation. "Enough of the boring topic, I really want to talk to Carl."
"Rick...rick..." She complains because Carl is asleep, and Michonne shows the watch on her wrist. "Richard." She sighs.
Rick appears to forget the time difference between Rome and New York. Rick follows her thinking pattern, and He checks his watch.
"Fuck." He curses.
Michonne glares at him. Rick apologetically covers his mouth.
"Sorry, I don't use such language around Carl." He rushes to explain.
There may be an ocean and a screen between them, but Rick doesn't intend to anger Michonne. Accordingly, he soothes her.
"I hope so because he is four month old. He is making small sounds, and you have to hear them." Excitedly, she starts to gush about their son's progress.
"I wish, but I guess he must be asleep." He cannot hide his disappointment. "I'll make the next call."
"He is, but I will get him for you. You can watch him sleep." Michonne stands. "I mean he might wake up during the call. He'll be happy to hear from his dad."
"Don't wake him up, and you don't want to miss your date." Rick tries to stop her, but she starts to walk out of the room. "Chonne?"
Her image disappears, and Rick stares at an empty screen. Rick faces the roof of Michonne's living room, and he waits for her answer.
"I can hear your son crying. Wait a minute." She lies to convince Rick to have the time he requested with Carl.
Michonne rushes to Carl's nursery, and she grabs everything necessary for Rick's call to be a success
Michonne senses how much Rick needs to see his son. He will not admit it, but she knows him like the back of her hand. Rick's improvement may depend on it, and so Michonne is eager to help.
"Chonne? Chonne?" Rick tries again, but silence continues to be the only answer. "Chonne?"
"Here, I will give you some privacy." Michonne says while she returns on the screen. "Here is your child, Richard. "
Michonne places down a pillow, and she sits Carl. She takes the special robot swing they bought to rock Carl to sleep, and she sits with their son. Michonne fixes the pad on a tripod.
"Enjoy your father and son's time."
Rick smiles at his cooing son. Since their last conversation, which was yesterday Carl has grown or so Rick believes. During each call, he always finds himself questioning how long his son will remain little.
"Hello, little angel. Daddy misses you so bad." From ear to ear, Rick can withhold his smile. "I'm so happy to have you."
Carl giggles at the sound of Rick's voice, and he attempts to locate the source of it. His eyes finally find the pad. Carl attempts to grab the screen and stares at everything in the room. Most of their conversations revolve around Rick watching his son live his infant life.
"I wish I could hug you right now. You're so big." He admires while Carl's continues to attempt to grab the screen. "Bigger than yesterday," he comments in awe.
Eventually, Fingers coated by saliva grab the screen's corner. Carl shakes the pad as he attempts to pull it off the tripod, and Rick can no longer see anything.
"Carl, don't touch the screen" Softly, Rick orders. "No, don't eat it." Rick pursues.
Three months away from his son have not changed anything, and Rick's voice preserves its magical control on Carl. The infant tries to find his father's voice, and the source of origin fascinates him. Ultimately, his father's moving picture mesmerizes Carl. He attempts to lick the screen.
"Carlton Richard Grimes, don't lick the screen." Between chuckles, Rick tries to regain some authority. "You can't eat daddy." He laughs, and Carl imitates him with boisterous giggles.
"Carl, don't chew on your mommy's pad." Rick reiterates.
However, he does not insist. Out of pettiness, Michonne should enjoy the destruction of her tablet. After a few minutes, Carl stops, and he stares at his father.
"Better." Rick sighs. "Now, where were we before you decided to go feral."
Carl frowns as if Rick's comment offended him. Later, he shrugs and stares at Rick on the screen.
"Talking about bad behaviour. You're supposed to have my back, young man." Rick gently declares. "So explain to me why your mother goes on a hot date on your watch." Rick vents his frustration. "She is looking very gorgeous."
Carl blinks and nods in what looks like understanding. Rick laughs, and he wants to hug his adorable son.
"You know what?" Rick asks Carl. "I forgive you."
The conversation with his son explores every topic. Rick easily talks to a person he loves. In addition, Carl's maximal participation in the conversation is coo or a drool. There is no judgement nor advice. He feels safe, and so he empties his mind.
"Now, I understand that you're little, but you have to use your ability to your advantage. Next time, you puke on your mother, and so she has to change. It will take her an extra hour or better pee on her date. Don't let those men carry you. Remember your team, son." Rick continues to express his jealousy.
Carl coos while he nods his head. For Rick, he has his son's explicit agreement. Now, Carl should hinder Michonne's date.
"I'm glad we could talk it out, son." Rick chuckles. "Now, what else was I saying? I miss you, and I am trying so hard to be out of my head and my fears for you." He softly says. "Sometimes, I want to give in and say F... Your mother will kill me if I swear in front of you. I don't know how I'm going to manage this. I don't want to stay so long away from your mama and you. I'm so afraid to lose you because of the drugs." Rick sighs. "Today is one of those days, I'm frightened to fail again. I would lose you. I won't have your mother back. I was scared today that I'll ruin everything. I needed a reminder." Rick draws a breath. "Oh, you're bored. Love you, son." When he notices Carl's closed eyes, Rick stops to talk.
He sits straight, and he continues to stare at his sleeping son.
"I'm going to be fine," Rick says with confidence. "For you, son. For us." He finds some faith.
Michonne attempts to forget Rick's mood, but she cannot erase the thought of Rick Grimes. She is not pining over him. Michonne is afraid for Rick. She has seen him strive for his sobriety. Rick is an amazing father. She does not want him to lose his battle.
Michonne stares at her date, and the choice is evident to her. She enters the room and takes a deep breath.
"Can we postpone our date?" she asks without preamble.
"Is there a problem? You no longer want to go." Worried, Mike fires multiple questions. "You look ready and gorgeous."
He tried to have another date after the catastrophe. Michonne did not reciprocate much of his attention, but he wore her resistance.
"I forgot Carl had a facetime date with his father, and so it will take a solid hour to put him back to sleep." Michonne tries to explain her situation.
Although, it is an excuse. Talking to Rick changed her mind. Michonne glances at the dining room, where Carl facetimes his father. Michonne wants to join her boys.
"We can have dinner at your place tonight. I'm already here, and you are beautiful. We have postponed this for nine months." Mike doesn't want to abandon, and he senses Michonne's reluctance.
However, he believes in momentum. Mike needs dinner to convince the young woman of his potential. She will fall for his charm.
Michonne sighs and already made her mind. Between Rick's wellbeing and entertaining Mike tonight, she does not suffer in choosing.
"Nine-month? What is another day? I will be so distracted while I try to make sure that Carl is comfortable." Michonne finds excuses after excuses. "He'll ruin everything. Have a goodnight, Mike." Michonne firmly adds, and she leads him toward her door
Michonne returns to the dining room, and Carl is sleeping. She comes and picks her son. Rick smiles as he watches his ex-wife.
"Are you liking the view?" Michonne jokes.
"I love watching you being a mother," Rick admits.
Michonne smiles, and she sits. For a few seconds, she rocks Carl. The pair remain silent. Michonne ultimately stares at Rick.
"Talk to me about nothing, pretty boy." Michonne asks.
"And your date?" Rick answers. "Is he ready to wait while we rekindle our love?"
Michonne quietly laughs. She does not want to wake Carl up now that he is asleep.
"My date is sitting on his sofa without a shirt," Michonne pointedly stares at the screen. "While I'm in vintage custom-made trying to cheer him on." She winks at him. "Richard, dress the part next time, please."
"Give me a minute, love." Rick declares and slips out of his pants to remain in his boxing brief. "How do I look?" He teases.
"Better than I do," Michonne giggles. "Liking the tan. You're getting some sun, pretty boy."
Rick smirks, and now more than ever, he misses Michonne. Her odd humour warms his heart.
"Again you look gorgeous." Rick declares. "Clothed but gorgeous."
"I know," Michonne agrees. "Your smile says it all. You're under my spell, Rick Grimes."
Rick's smile turns into a grin. He watches her laugh for a few seconds. Michonne is careful not to wake Carl.
"That is what people in love do." Rick responds. "being under a spell. " he adds. "I love you, Chonne."