3: Squirrel of Death
Summary: Reborn as a squirrel in the Forest of Death? You've got to be kidding me.
I realize now, that it took me an inordinate amount of time to figure out what I was this time around. Granted, it didn't take as long as when I got spawned as a fungus, but that doesn't count. It's super disorienting to get thrown into a whole other Kingdom than you're used to. Fungi senses are super weird, it took me forever just to figure out I was alive. That experience was just trippy. For me, and I'd like to think, whatever it was that eventually consumed me. But whatever, this time my excuses are the giant-ass predators around the place that totally screwed with my perception of my size, the constant struggle for survival I had to engage in, and the fact that by the time my eyes opened for the first time my instincts had already told me to eat my siblings, so it wasn't like I could take a look at them to see what species I was.
By now you're probably wondering what the hell I am, and not in the sense of what kind of creature I currently take the form of. Well, let me tell you. I am an Immortal being, possessor of infinite knowledge and wisdom, bound to exist until time immemorial. At least that's what the pamphlet said. In reality it is a lot less glamorous. A spec of consciousness tossed helplessly and endlessly on the crashing whims of entropy is probably a more realistic title. Or, as I like to call myself: I am Non-Entity! Why? It just sounds cool. It was my super-hero name once and I like to stick with it. Or was I a super-villain? I can't remember. Crap.
Anyway, being immortal? Totally not glamorous. Take now for example; running for my life from the asshole with a music note on his forehead who stuck a burning piece of paper on my back. I'm embarrassed to admit it's only when the pink haired chick throws the kunai at me to keep my furry little paws from setting off her traps that I realize what and where I am. A squirrel in the Forest of Death?! You've got to be fucking kidding me! Why didn't I think of that sooner?
Though in my defense, it's super disorienting getting thrown into a whole other universe than you're used to.