AN: Alright, so this chapter is dedicated to LaceNLeather24 and greenbasketball. LaceNLeather because this is Elliot and Olivia centered with just a sprinkle of other characters, as requested. Greenbasketball because of the hashtag #BrianWho? made me laugh. He's mentioned briefly, but again, this is an E/O focused chapter, so I hope you guys enjoy!
Chapter 9 – Saturday in the Park
Saturday is Olivia's favorite day of the week. It's the one day that she gets to breathe, without having to work or worry about going to bed early. Saturday is a day for leisure, for sleeping in late and running errands, and for vegging out in front of the TV. In fact, for all of the other six days of the week, she thinks about Saturday, and the thought of her chance to relax spurs her to continue on.
This Saturday is no different. She'd had a busy week, with planning for the PTA meeting, and then Kathleen's incident and all, so by the time Saturday arrived, she had been eager to get a chance to rest. Brian had asked earlier in the week if she wanted to go out this weekend, but she'd asked for a rain check because she knew that she wanted to have a quiet day. She wakes up around 10, then gets dressed and takes Luke over to Kathy's house in Queens. Afterward, with Grace in tow, she decides to stop in a grocery store to pick up a few things.
It's nice to shop without being rushed. As Olivia walks down the cereal aisle, she huffs to herself, thinking that just maybe, being a mom had made her boring – after all, who enjoyed leisurely grocery shopping? But then Grace blows a raspberry at her and she smiles, realizing that she didn't mind being boring if the trade-off was two amazing kids. She looks back at the cereal she was standing in front of before grabbing a Cap N Crunch box. Generally speaking, Luke wasn't a very picky eater, but Olivia knew that he could be particular about his breakfast foods. He was like his father in that way.
Olivia continues down the aisle, heading for the less sugary cereals. She and Grace usually ate cheerios, but when she spots the yellow box, it's on the top shelf. She exhales slowly, stepping closer to the shelf and leaning up. Her fingertips brush the box and she raises herself on her toes a little bit more; she's almost got it-
An arm reaches over her, grabbing the box she'd been reaching for. She chuckles softly, turning to thank the tall strangers.
"Thanks," she begins, but when she looks up, she sees Elliot grinning at her. She wrinkles her nose a little as she takes the box, teasing. "My knight in shining armor."
"As long as you know it," Elliot says, pulling her into a tight hug afterward. He's smiling when they break apart. "But, hey. What are you doing all the way over here?"
"I just dropped Luke off with Kathy," Olivia says, sticking the box in her cart. Elliot is making a face at Grace, who giggles. "I wanted to pick up a few things while I was over here. What about you?"
"Well, I don't live too far, you know," Elliot says. He lifts the basket in his hand, nodding at the cereal boxes inside. "I had to get the twins' favorite cereals before they come over next week. Trix for Lizzie, Count Chocula for Luke. The older two are on a smoothie kick, so I just got some fruit for them."
"Count Chocula," Olivia repeats, starting to push her cart out of the aisle. Elliot matches pace with her, and it seems that now, they are shopping together. She doesn't mind the company at all. "Does Luke eat that?"
"No, he's not a big fan of sugar, it seems," Elliot says. "I figured that was your influence."
"Well, that's what I thought," Olivia says. "But I found out from Kathleen that he eats McDonald's when I'm not around, so now I don't know if I know him at all." Elliot laughs at this, shaking his head.
"He's a healthy kid," he assures. "When they come inside from playing, all Dickie wants is a Capri Sun; Luke always asks for water."
"Hm," Olivia says, turning this over in her mind. They make their way into the baby aisle, and she picks up a few snacks for Grace, who coos her approval when she sees her favorite items go into the cart. "Well, I suppose that is comforting to hear."
"Dickie's been eating the recipes you gave me though," Elliot says, wiggling his finger at Grace, who giggles. "Thank god we have you around, otherwise I'm sure he'd be 3 inches shorter with an iron deficiency."
Olivia laughs at this, rolling her eyes playfully. After running her eyes over her cart to make sure she has everything she needs, she heads to the checkout aisle, Elliot following behind her.
"Well, I'm glad you liked your gift," she says. Elliot nods, helping her put everything on the belt. She smiles and steps back as the cashier rings everything up. "You know, I feel like I keep running into you. More than usual, I mean."
"Maybe it's a sign," Elliot says, smiling playfully. Olivia chuckles, glancing at him briefly as he sets his basket up on the belt, then hands her card to the cashier.
"Oh?" she says. "What of?"
"Not sure," Elliot says, his smile widening as he runs his eyes over Olivia briefly. "I'm not complaining, though."
Olivia feels the blush rising to her cheeks, and so she turns to busy herself with moving her cart out of the way. She stands to the side as she waits for Elliot to be rung up, and after he takes his bags, he walks her out to her car.
"So, what are your plans for the rest of the day?" he asks. Olivia unlocks her car and lifts Grace out of the cart, guiding her into her car seat. Elliot pulls her cart around to the other side and loads her groceries in for her.
"I think we're about to head to the park," Olivia says. "Saturdays are usually pretty chill for us." She looks up after buckling Grace in, smiling when she sees Elliot putting her cart away for her.
"That sounds fun," he says. "I guess I'll see you around then?"
"Yeah," Olivia says, leaning against her car as she watches him. Something is tugging at her heart inside, but she doesn't know quite what, at least until the words roll out of her mouth. "I mean unless you'd like to join us?"
Elliot looks over, immediately breaking out into a grin. But he tries to downplay his excitement, Olivia can tell, and he clears his throat, shrugging.
"Are you sure?" he asks. "I mean, I don't want to infringe on your day."
"You wouldn't be," Olivia assures. "But, I mean, you only have to come if you want to, of course…"
"I do," Elliot says, smiling at her. "I do."
•
Olivia follows Elliot to the closet park, which is only a few minutes away. After they park their cars, they head over to the playground with Grace, who seems extremely excited to have Elliot with them.
"Play," she announces as they step onto the playground. Olivia chuckles and nods, shifting her bag onto her shoulder.
"Okay, baby," she says. "Do you want to go on the slide?" Grace shakes her head a little, pulling her hand out of Olivia's and moving closer to Elliot, who lifts her.
"Dada," Grace says. Olivia's eyebrows raise, and she shakes her head at Elliot.
"I don't know…" she begins. Elliot chuckles and shakes his head briefly, letting Olivia know that he doesn't mind.
"Elliot," he corrects. "Do you want to go on the swings?" Grace makes a happy sound that he takes to be a yes, and so that's where they head. He sets her in the toddler swing and pushes lightly, making her giggle. Olivia smiles, looking back up at Elliot.
"Dada," she says, shaking her head and making Elliot grin sheepishly. "First Luke, now Grace."
"What do you mean?" Elliot asks, guiding the swing gently. Olivia tucks a piece of her hair behind her ear, glancing up at him a bit shyly.
"You remember a couple of weeks ago when I first went out with Brian?" she starts. Elliot nods. "Well, when I got dressed up, Luke asked where I was going. I told him I had a date, and he asked if it was with you."
"With me?" Elliot says, sounding surprised. Olivia chuckles softly and nods. Her eyes follow her daughter, swinging and giggling.
"With you," she confirms. "And eventually he told me that he asked because he thought you'd make a cool dad and because you make me laugh. He's trying to get us to hook up, I'm pretty sure."
Elliot tries not to smile too hard after hearing this, he really does. But he likes the idea of Luke being on his side. He had wondered how all of the kids would react, if he did manage to find a way to end up with Olivia, and it's nice to know that Luke wouldn't mind having him for a dad. He's thinking now of what it would be like, to not have to correct Grace if she called him dada, to hear Luke call him when he needed help with his homework. It's so unbelievably easy to imagine these things that it almost takes him by surprise; but after he conjures up the image, it's hard to get out his head. He wouldn't mind any of that, he thinks with a start. He wants not only to be with Olivia but to think of her children as his own, to be a family. In some ways, really, they almost were. Dickie and Luke acted like brothers a lot of the time, and Olivia had proven that she had a way with Kathleen. It could work. They could work.
"Elliot," Olivia says, pulling him back to the present. "I didn't mean to freak you out. I mean, I wouldn't want to go out with you, or anything." Her cheeks flush slightly after this statement, probably because this is a lie. She had thought about it, of course, just briefly at first, but more frequently recently. She knew that it would probably be nice, but she'd established that that was something she couldn't and wouldn't let herself do. However, Elliot's eyebrows raise after this statement.
"No?" he asks, making Olivia glance away. He's still pushing Grace gently, but his eyes are focused on Olivia. "I mean, Luke was right, wasn't he? I do make you laugh."
"You do," Olivia says slowly, looking for a way to ease the settling tension. "But I mean, I'm not attracted to you, really."
"Oh," Elliot says, his face folding, at least until he notices the smile playing on Olivia's lips. "Not even my butt? I've heard it's a fan favorite."
Olivia laughs at this, shaking her head. Elliot grins, slowly ceasing to push Grace as she reaches for him. He lifts her out, watching as she points to the slide, and begins to head over with Olivia.
"Really though," Elliot says slowly, glancing over at Olivia, but she's still avoiding his eyes. He tries to muster up as much courage as he can for his next question. "Haven't you ever thought about it? You know, going out on a date? I mean, just once?"
Olivia can't tell if he's joking. She should assume that he is, she knows. She's seeing someone, someone that he had set her up with, and they had never discussed anything like this before. But there was a certain hint of sincerity edging his voice that she thought she could just make out, and that made her nervous. She looks at him and her eyebrows knit together, before shaking her head.
"No," she lies, chuckling softly. Elliot is still looking at her. "No. I mean, come on, Luke is a kid. His imagination is unbelievable."
"Right," Elliot says, feeling just slightly disheartened. But still, something about the way Olivia is trying to avoid eye contact with him makes him wonder if there's more to what she's saying. He doesn't want to confirm or deny that hope, so he lets the subject drop and decides to be satisfied with how it feels to walk next to Olivia, her sleeve lightly brushing against his arm, the smell of her perfume just barely noticeable.
•
They spend the better part of the afternoon in the park. After Grace gets bored with the playground options, they walk around to the lake and get hotdogs. Grace seems to be greatly enjoying herself, refusing to leave Elliot's arms, except for when she's running around. Eventually though, sometime after 2, she starts getting tired. Olivia can tell because she starts to get a little more irritable, and her bottom lip starts poking out when Elliot stops playing with to her for a minute.
"Someone's ready for a nap," she murmurs to Elliot, nodding at the toddler who's trying to climb up his legs to be lifted. "Grace, you ready to head home?" She reaches for her daughter, but she pulls away, clinging to Elliot instead. Olivia's eyebrows come together. Grace has been clingy for a while now, but the person that she clings to is always Olivia. She knows she shouldn't be offended, not by her 15-month-old daughter, but it is funny to be on this end of things.
"Dada," Grace says, pouting as tears pool in her eyes. Olivia sighs softly as Elliot picks her up. Grace lays her head on Elliot's chest immediately, sucking on a thumb, something else she only does when she's getting ready to go to sleep. It's going to be hard to get her away from Elliot and into Olivia's car.
"I'm sorry," Olivia apologizes. "She's not usually like this, you know."
"It's alright," Elliot says, patting Grace's back lightly. Her eyes flutter closed for a second. "Hey, you know I only live a couple of blocks away. Why don't we walk over, she can nap for a little while, and then we can come back afterward?"
"I mean, I don't know," Olivia says. "Are you sure you don't mind carrying her?"
"Not at all," Elliot says. "I can get the diaper bag, too, c'mon." He takes the bag from Olivia, slinging it over his shoulder. Olivia raises her eyebrows but allows him to take it, following him as he heads out of the park.
Thankfully, he does live quite close. They make their way up to the second floor easily, and after Olivia takes Elliot's key and unlocks the door, he goes and lays her in the twins' bedroom. When he comes back, he and Olivia sit down on the couch. Olivia sheds her jacket, tossing it to the side. She doesn't notice that Elliot is watching her until she turns back to him and sees the grin on his face.
"What?" she asks self-consciously. Elliot shrugs and nods at her t-shirt before grabbing the television remote and switching the TV on.
"Nothing," he says, before motioning to her t-shirt. "I mean, you just have a lot of The Cure t-shirts, don't you?" Olivia's cheeks flush slightly and she wraps her arms around her midsection. She hadn't thought before throwing on the old shirt and leaving the house.
"Well, they were my favorite band in high school," she says. "I could be a pretty angry kid, and you know, the rock spoke to me."
"Oh?" Elliot asks, chuckling. He puts his arm on the back of the couch like he usually does. And like she usually does, Olivia slides a little closer, leaning toward him. "Tell me more about that. Your high school experience."
"What's to tell?" Olivia says, pulling a face. Elliot rolls his eyes.
"Come on, tell me," he says. "You know, we never get a chance to just sit down and talk. We're always running after the kids or trying to plan PTA events. Just indulge me for a little, would you? I bet you were popular."
"Not even a little," Olivia says, shaking her head with a small grin. "I mean it. I had these acid wash jeans and big feathered hair and I spent all day, every day, thinking about graduation. I think about those days as infrequently as I can."
"I'm sure they weren't that bad," Elliot says. Olivia shakes her head slightly. She remembers her isolated behaviors. She remembers living with her mom. Remembers telling her she was engaged and the fight that had followed, and how Serena Benson seemed to hate her from then on, even more than she had hated her at the beginning. Olivia had counted down the days until graduation starting on that day, and when she left, she hadn't looked back. No, it wasn't something she liked to reminisce on.
"They were," she assures. She looks up at Elliot, who is looking at her curiously now. His gaze makes her a little uncomfortable, and as she always does when she's uncomfortable, she searches for a way out. "What about you?"
"What about me?" Elliot asks, a little hesitant to change the subject so quickly. Olivia shrugs, crossing her legs.
"What was high school like for you?" Olivia asks, smiling lightly. Elliot shrugs, unable to keep himself from running his eyes over her face for the millionth time that day; her chocolate brown eyes, her pink-tinted lips.
"Normal," he says. He tries his hardest not to think about high school as well, in all honesty. Really, he tried not think about his childhood at all. He'd done a pretty good job of repressing all of his memories, and he didn't plan to bring them up now. He'd done such a good job of trying to forget, in fact, that he almost believes that he really did have a pretty average high school experience after he says it out loud. "I played football, dated a cheerleader, had a crappy after school job. The works."
"What else?" Olivia pushes. She knows him too well. There is always more with Elliot, more than he initially wants to say. She is a private person, and he is the same. Usually, that works out well for them. But sitting on this couch, only a few inches away from him, made her curious for some reason. His eyes flick away briefly, and she presses him again, her voice gentle. "You're right you know. We never get to just talk, so talk."
"There's not much else to tell," he says. Olivia keeps watching him though, waiting for more and he clears his throat, continuing. "I mean, you know, I got Kathy pregnant early on. And I married her when we were still in high school. We had Maureen that same year. So, you know, I went to the Marines afterward, then college, and eventually ended up on the force."
"Is that what you always wanted to do?" Olivia asks. "Like, when you first started high school, did you want to be a Marine?"
"No," Elliot says, shaking his head quickly. "No, I mean, I didn't want to be a police officer either. My dad was a cop and I just…"
He pauses to search for the right way to answer. He tries to think quickly because he doesn't much like thinking about his father.
"That's just not the path I saw myself going down, I guess," he eventually finishes. Olivia tilts her head slightly.
"Well, what did you want to do, at first?"
Elliot doesn't answer immediately. In fact, he starts to blush a little
"You're going to laugh."
"I am not," Olivia says, now interested. Elliot still doesn't say anything, and she nudges his leg. "El, I promise."
"An astronaut," he says. Olivia is surprised, to be honest, but she doesn't find it funny or anything. "I know it's lame, but there was this guy that was my hero, and I don't know. It seemed cool."
"It's not lame," Olivia says, turning her body towards him more and wiggling a little to get comfortable. "Why didn't you try to do that?" Elliot lets out a short laugh, shaking his head.
"Olivia, at 18, I had a diploma, a wife, and a baby," he says. "I couldn't just go ahead and try to be an astronaut. I had to take care of them. It's not like we could have stayed with our parents while I went to school."
"Well, why not?" Olivia asks. Elliot's eyebrows lower a little.
"What do you mean why not?"
"Why couldn't you stay with your parents?" Olivia clarifies. She knew why she'd had to get out of her house as soon as possible. But she imagined that Elliot had lived in a nice Catholic family, one that had maybe been a little upset about him knocking up Kathy but forgiving. That's what she had thought, anyway. The look in Elliot's eye makes her doubt this and she watches him carefully.
"Maybe we could have stayed with Kathy's parents," Elliot eventually says. "But I was the man, you know? I wanted to provide for her. And my parents…"
Here they were again, somehow, on the subject of his parents. No wonder Kathleen had spilled so easily after being with Olivia. She knew what buttons to press. Nervously, he runs his tongue over his bottom lip, trying to come up with something to say. He'd rather lie than remember what it felt like, to be 18 and desperate to leave his childhood home.
"They just weren't the kind of parents you'd want to live with forever," Elliot says lamely. Olivia nods slowly, seeming to accept this, but she slides a hand over, lightly touching Elliot's knee. This is an oddly comforting motion.
"I get it," she says slowly. She's chewing her lip, trying to decide if she should continue. Elliot is patient, and he stays quiet as she thinks for a moment. "Well, I told you how my mom was. I mean, she was functioning, and all, but…it just wasn't always good between us. So, I understand, wanting to leave, you know."
"What about your dad?" Elliot asks carefully. This sparks something in Olivia, and he can see that he's gone too far almost immediately. Her eyes switch, a light goes out somewhere, and she looks away briefly, pulling her hand away from Elliot.
"I never met him," she says, her voice soft. They sit quietly for a moment. Elliot doesn't know if he should apologize, or change the subject, or what, but when he looks back at Olivia, she's thinking, and it seems like she could almost be a million miles away.
"I think that's why I married Jonathan," she says eventually, catching Elliot off guard. Her voice is so quiet that she could almost be talking to herself. "Not because I didn't know my dad, I mean, but because things could be so bad with my mom and I just wanted to escape. I mean, she could be mean when she drank. I know why, kind of, I know why she was so mean, now that I'm an adult. But as a kid, I didn't and that can really mess you up, you know?"
She's not making sense, she realizes. And so, she lets her voice fade out, trying to refocus her blurred vision. She hadn't meant to get all teary-eyed, but the tears are there anyway and so she blinks. It's stupid really because she's not even sad.
Elliot thinks he knows. He thinks maybe he does, as she watches Olivia's face. He knows what it's like to have an angry parent and a parent who isn't really there, at least not all the time. He can almost see Olivia, sixteen years old, in her acid wash jeans, wishing for an escape. And she'd fallen for Jonathan, who had only ended up mistreating her as well. He had no respect for any man who abused his wife. Or his own children. His stomach churns a little and eventually, he speaks up, to save Olivia, who's blinking back tears.
"I know," he says. "Maybe that's what the Marines were for me. They were a way to pay the bills, but also a way to just escape. I just wanted to get out of there, you know?"
"Yeah," Olivia says immediately, looking back over at him. "Yeah, I know."
They let the conversation die out after that. They sit next to each other for a moment, each wrapped up in their own thoughts. The TV in the background is barely audible. Eventually, Elliot feels the need to move. He didn't like sitting so close to Olivia but feeling like she was so far away. He had promised that he was going to protect her from things like this, from bad memories and things like that. He owed her some form of comfort.
So slowly, he lowers his arm from the back of the couch and wraps it around her shoulder. She flinches a little when he first touches her, but her body eventually relaxes. He's looking ahead, not directly at her, but he can hear her exhale. Eventually, she moves a little closer, then slowly, she lays her head on Elliot's chest, taking a deep breath.
She was pushing the boundaries, she knew. She was pushing the boundaries of their friendship and of the rules she had set for herself. But she couldn't help it. She felt so empty, after remembering high school and how it had felt to want someone to just see her so badly. She had wanted someone to unload to, a friend to check in on her. Elliot was here now for that, wasn't he? He was here for her to lean on, and so that's what she was going to do. She finds comfort in the warmth of his body, of his arm wrapped around her. And so even though she knows it's not completely right, she can't convince herself to move away from him.
She's tired, too. The playground and all had made her feel in need of a nap, and Elliot's heartbeat was so soothing that she nearly drifted off. At least until Elliot spoke up, making her eyes open.
"Liv?" he asks. She shifts a little closer and his arms tighten around her.
"Yeah," she says back. She's tired, Elliot can tell. Her voice makes him smile slightly.
"Do you think we would have been friends back then?" he asks. "In high school?" Olivia tries to imagine this. Tries to imagine how she, an angry girl in a The Cure t-shirt who sat at the back of the classroom and prayed not to be noticed, and Elliot, a handsome football player with an Irish-Catholic background and a pretty blonde girlfriend, would end up being friends.
"Probably not," she answers honestly. Elliot chuckles deeply. Olivia has always liked the way that his laugh sounds. Deep, like he really means it. She smiles slightly. "I didn't have many friends in high school."
"Come on," Elliot says. "I would have won you over. Maybe tried to make a move on you, but you would have forgiven me."
"Oh really?" Olivia asks, glancing up at Elliot. "A move?"
"Oh, of course," Elliot says, his eyes glinting playfully. "I mean, come on. I was in high school, and a little bit of a player. And you were gorgeous. Why wouldn't I at least try my luck?"
"You're a pig," Olivia says, giggling now. She sits up to look at Elliot, and although he immediately misses the contact, he lets her go. "And what makes you so sure I was 'gorgeous,' huh?"
"Well you're gorgeous now," Elliot says. "I can't imagine it being any different back then."
This makes Olivia blush deeply and she shoves Elliot lightly, starting to scoot away. Elliot grins and reaches for her, catching her around her waist and making her jump a little, giggling softly.
"Elliot, I'm ticklish," she warns, trying to shrug his arm off. Elliot hadn't known this and decides to test it out. He tickles her ribcage lightly and Olivia lets out a snort that makes him laugh immediately. "El!"
Olivia's trying to protest in between giggles and chuckles now, but Elliot is tickling her sides, under her arms, even her neck and pulling her even closer as she squirms to get away. Her protests grow into squeals and peals of sharp laughter that mix with Elliot's own chuckles. He only stops when she's gasping for breath.
"Sh, now," Elliot says, trying to keep a straight face. "You're going to wake the baby. C'mon, you can never be serious." He wraps his arm around Olivia's waist tightly, who had laughed her way right into his lap.
"I…hate…you," Olivia gasps, still catching her breath. "You're impossible, Stabler."
"No, you," Elliot muses, his face only a few inches away from hers. Finally, her breathing returns to normal and she manages to make eye contact with Elliot, who is watching her amusedly. He really can be such a child, and maybe that would be annoying if he wasn't so smooth about it. He's trying not to smile now, she can tell, but he slips up and grins as his free hand raises to brush her hair out of her face. He can be so damn cute when he wants to.
She's getting caught up again, just like she had on Halloween night. Elliot's thumb is stroking the exposed skin of her waist, and his eyes are boring into her, his mouth slightly parted. All of sudden, she can't remember any of her reasons for not pursuing him.
Her stomach tugs a little and her own mouth falls open. Thankfully, something deep inside her reminds her to chicken out, and she blinks, shaking her head slightly.
"I am so tired," she says suddenly. She thinks Elliot's face might fall, but she doesn't have much time to think about it because she's looking away and scooting out of his lap before he can say anything. "Do you mind if I nap for a little while? You can wake me up when Grace gets up."
"No, of course not," Elliot says slowly. He's feeling a mix of confusion and disappointment. For just a second, he had been almost positive Olivia was going to kiss him. They'd had a moment, he thought. They'd been having a moment, or at least, been about to have a moment. So why was she so far away from him now? "Wait, come here."
He reaches for her, managing to catch her waist again. She doesn't jump this time, but she doesn't look directly at him either. Her face is still flushed from laughing.
"I was comfortable earlier," Elliot says, as an excuse. "Do you mind?"
"No," Olivia says quietly, almost shyly. She curls back up to him, letting him wrap his arm around her and finding a comfortable spot on his chest. Carefully, she drapes one of her arms over him. She isn't doing herself any favors, really. It seems more like she's just setting herself up to fail, to fall for him. But, if she can't kiss him, she thinks, she should at least be allowed to sit here with him, right? It was harmless, really. This is what she tells herself, at least.
And so, she sits, cuddled up to Elliot, letting him stroke her arm gently, listening to his even heartbeat. Thankfully, she was quite tired, and so she starts to nod off again rather quickly. Just as she slides into that nice little middle stage that she likes so much, the one between awake and asleep, Elliot leans down and presses a kiss to her temple. This warms her whole body, and she's not aware enough to be embarrassed by that fact. So, she falls asleep content, her mind clear except for the memory of Elliot and Grace on the playground, their laughter mixing into an oddly reassuring symphony.