"Cartoon Royal Rumble"
Rated T
Summary: 80 men/women from your favorite cartoons will battle it out in a battle royal for a chance at $1,000,000! It's all out mayhem and anarchy in the first ever Cartoon Royal Rumble!
Disclaimer: I especially do not own anything associated with Cartoon Network, Disney, Fox's Animation Domination, Nickelodeon, Adult Swim, Hub Network or anything animated whatsoever. Or not to mention the fact that I don't own WWE or TNA.
P.S.: The list of characters I have will be random, so you won't know who'll show up in this match. Once again, I don't own.
Chapter 2: The Rumble Begins!
In front of a Los Angeles crowd, long-time WWE Hall-of-Famer and ring announcer Howard Finkel approached the mic.
"Ladies and gentleman, it is now time for the first annual Cartoon Royal Rumble!"
A huge shockwave of ovation had surrounded the entire Staples Center. And then, the Fink went on with the rules.
"Now let me explain the rules," The Fink replied, "Earlier on, the two contestants who drew numbers 1 and 2 will begin the event, and every minute thereafter, another superstar will enter by the number that they drew. This will continue on until all 80 superstars have entered the ring. To be eliminated, a superstar must throw his opponent over the top rope, and both feet must hit the floor! The only man/woman who comes out the last man standing after all 79 contestants have been thrown over, will become the winner of the Cartoon Royal Rumble, and be received a prize that is worth... one million dollars!"
The entire crowd looked ecstatic. They looked over to the titantron, hoping to find out who would enter from that curtain first.
"And now... let us introduce the man/woman who has drawn number 1!"
"Who's it gonna be?" J.R. said with anticipation.
"I got no idea! I'm shaking!" Jonesy exclaimed.
There were only several seconds of silence...
...until the song "Bad To Be Bone" sounded all across the speakers!
The first man to enter through the curtain was "Simpsons" fan favorite Homer Simpson, indicating him as the first entrant. Having to draw number 1 was a waste, which meant that Homer had to last almost an hour without getting eliminated.
"From Springfield, U.S.A., Homerrrrrr... Simpsoooooon!"
Entrant #1: Homer Simpson (The Simpsons)
"There's the first entrant! It's longtime 'Simpsons' favorite Homer Simpson!" J.R. exclaimed.
"He's looking a little nervous, though. I hardly hope he doesn't piss himself!" Jonesy exclaimed as well, letting out a chuckle.
"Nervous he is," J.R. replied. "But Homer's got the biggest heart of them all. This will definitely be a test for Homer Simpson here."
The father of the Simpson family had entered the ring, pumping himself up with anticipation. He walked across the ring, hoping to find out who number two was gonna be. Luckily, he didn't wait very long as The Fink introduced the second contestant to the ring.
"And now, here is the man who has drawn number 2!"
After a few seconds of silence...
..."Surfin' Bird" by the Trashmen sounded, making the entire crowd stand up in applause for the next competitor.
To Homer's surprise, it was none other than Peter Griffin of "Family Guy"!
"From Quahog, Rhode Island... Peter Griffin!"
Entrant #2: Peter Griffin (Family Guy)
"Well, this is a surprise!" Jonesy exclaimed, feeling a bit surprised."
"No kidding! Peter Griffin has just drawn number two!" said Good Ol' J.R.
"This place is set to blow up here!" Jonesy shouted.
Peter Griffin didn't take any time to walk to the ring. Instead, he ran down the aisle and immediately got inside the ring.
With the bell ringing, both Peter and Homer were engaged in a face-off. You can cut the tension with a hot butter knife. It was almost like two outlaws in a shootout at least. They were both itching and hungry for a fight, waiting for one another to land the first punch.
"You don't have the balls to punch me, baldy!" Peter yelled at the yellow-skinned competitor.
"Eat donuts!" Homer shouted back.
After that little verbal war, both Homer and Peter threw fists at each other, forcing the fans into a complete frenzy!
"Here we go! This Rumble's underway!" J.R. shouted.
"This is like a boxing match, it seems!" Jonesy shouted as well, feeling the excitement from the two competitors.
The momentum between each other's fists shifted back and forth. Peter pummeled Homer in the stomach repeatedly until the Springfield native was forced into the turnbuckle. Peter Griffin was going at Homer Simpson like drone guns.
But Homer managed to fight back by throwing two lefts and a right to Peter's kisser!
"Look at this, Homer's fighting back!" said J.R.
"Peter's feeling the wrath from Homer here!" stated Jonesy. "He's almost like a tornado slapping through a one-horse town!"
Peter and Homer were treating this fight as if it was a boxing match. It was almost like Mike Tyson vs. Muhammad Ali or Manny Pacquiao vs. Floyd "Money" Mayweather. These two men were giving fans a run for their money. And boy, was it worth it.
"This entire fight between Griffin and Simpson is going intense!" J.R. said, pumping his heart out with action like that.
"I don't think it's gonna last long anyway, J.R.," Jonesy replied. "Look who's about to enter next?"
Jonesy was right. The fight between Peter and Homer wouldn't continue because of the Rumble clock going off. The two contestants focused on the next competitor about to enter the ring in about...
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1!
*BZZT!*
Entrant #3: Buford Van Stomm (Phineas And Ferb)
With a pissed off expression in his face, Danville's neighborhood bully and 'Phineas and Ferb' star Buford Van Stomm came through the curtain running with a hockey stick in hand.
"Oh, man! Here comes trouble in a 4-foot frame!" Jonesy shouted.
"I couldn't agree more! Here comes Buford Van Stomm from 'Phineas and Ferb', and it's safe to say that he isn't in a pleasing mood!" J.R. said as Buford got inside the ring.
When he got inside the ring, he was greeted by Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin. But before they could take down Buford, the bully responded by whacking both men with the hockey stick. Buford kept on hitting them like a ping-pong ball being hit back and forth.
"Look at this! Buford's going fast and furious with that hockey stick!" said J.R.
"Why not? It is hockey season after all!" Jonesy replied, smiling at the carnage he was seeing.
Buford kept on hitting both Homer and Peter until the bully focused on Peter. As the fatboy held in his nuts, Buford responded by wrapping the hockey stick around Peter's neck and slamming him down with a White Russian Leg Sweep! And not to mention that Buford did the same with Homer as well.
"White Russian Leg Sweep!" J.R. shouted.
"And on Peter and Homer nonetheless," Jonesy spoke out. "Buford Van Stomm is on a rampage here! I don't see anyone stopping him."
After both men were down, Buford managed to roll under the ring and looked inside the apron, hoping to find a weapon of some sorts. After some searching, Buford pulled out a hockey puck.
"You gotta be kidding me? A hockey puck?" Jonesy said, looking puzzled at the object. "What damage is that gonna do?"
"I'm not very sure. But I'm certain that the force of that puck might be enough to take a S.O.B. down!" J.R. exclaimed.
As Homer was lying down on the bottom rope having to recover, Buford set the puck down.
Buford stanced himself, hoping to get a clean-cut shot from that hockey stick. As Homer tried to slowly get up using the turnbuckles, Buford swung the stick...
...and shot the puck straight into Homer's nads, therefore making the yellow-skinned Simpson cringe on impact. The rest of the fans had cringed as well!
"Good god! That's gotta hurt!" J.R. cringed.
"It's safe to say: Buford: 2, Homer: 0!" Jonesy cringed and laughed at the sight.
But before Buford could focus on Peter Griffin, the father from Family Guy gave Buford a big boot to the face, knocking the small bully to the mat.
"Ouch! Buford got his lights knocked out!" Jonesy cringed again.
"It's safe to say that Buford forgot all about Peter there!" J.R. shouted.
That big boot was enough to have Buford stunned for the moment. Feeling unpleased by the attack from Buford's hockey puck. Homer managed to recover himself long enough to grab the bully by the back of his hair. Peter decided to join in the fun.
Both Peter Griffin and Homer Simpson took Buford by the back of his shirt. And in no time whatsoever, the two men threw Buford over the top rope and onto the floor, causing the first elimination of the night!
"Well," J.R. paused a bit. "Goodbye, Buford!"
"Oh, man! Buford is not gonna like that at all!" Jonesy chuckled.
"With that, Buford is the first man eliminated from the Cartoon Royal Rumble!"
1st Eliminated: Buford Van Stomm; Eliminated by: Peter Griffin and Homer Simpson; Duration: 0:48
However, before Buford could throw a fit about his elimination, the Rumble Clock came up on the titantron, indicating the 3rd entrant.
"Here comes number three about to come out! I'm feeling excited about this one!" Jonesy exclaimed, shaking his body with anticipation once again.
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...
*BZZT!*
Entrant #4: Beavis (Beavis and Butt-Head)
With the bell sounding, out from the curtain came Beavis of "Beavis and ButtHead" fame. He took his sweet time walking the ramp, due to the coffee he was drinking at a bullet's pace. He couldn't contain the ovation that he got from his fans, who were chanting Beavis's name over and over again.
"Well, we all recognize who he is," J.R. exclaimed. "It's none other than Beavis from MTV's landmark cartoon 'Beavis and ButtHead'!"
"Look at him chug that coffee down to its core! Reminds me of someone I know!" Jonesy exclaimed as well.
"I agree with that, Jonesy," J.R. nodded. "It's very interesting to see what Beavis pulls off in this Rumble!"
The way Beavis was walking down the ramp due to the hot coffee he was chugging forced Homer and Peter to become impatient. They were growing so restless and impatient, that they wanted to kick the holy crap out of Beavis for making them wait.
After a good 25 seconds was wasted from this youngster's appearance, Beavis finally got into the ring where he was engaged in a standoff between the two men.
"I don't think Peter and Homer are looking to welcome Beavis with open arms!" J.R. cringed a little.
"No kidding! They may be looking to beat the crap out of Beavis for making them wait so long!" Jonesy said with suspense.
But then, the coffee that Beavis drank made the youngster's body shake. Peter and Homer didn't know what to make of this, but the fans knew what to make with this.
And then in an instant, Beavis pulled his trusty blue shirt over his head...
...and raised his hands up, turning into his erratic alter-ego Cornholio!
"Raaaaaagh, I am the great Cornholio," Cornholio shouted to both men. "I must have T.P. for my bunghole!"
The fans stood up on their feet, laughing and cheering at Beavis/Cornholio. Peter and Homer raised their eyebrows in confusion.
"What on earth did that dude say?" Jonesy raised an eyebrow as well.
"I don't really know what to say entirely," J.R. muttered. "I think he wants something for his butthole."
"That's sick and disturbing..." Jonesy cringed.
Peter and Homer had a response for Beavis's request. Peter went over to Cornholio...
...
...and kicked him square in the nads!
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!" Cornholio screamed in pain, holding his nutsack tightly.
"Good god almighty!" J.R. cringed.
"He just lost any chances of having little bastards, I'll tell ya that!" Jonesy chuckled.
The pain was too intense for Beavis to handle.
As a result, Peter Griffin and Homer Simpson took no time by throwing the wild youngster over the top rope and onto the floor, resulting in elimination!
"Beavis is gone!" J.R. shouted.
"Too bad, so sad, bye-frickin-bye!" Jonesy chuckled yet again.
2nd Eliminated: Beavis; Eliminated by: Peter Griffin and Homer Simpson; Duration: 0:45
Beavis kicked around in frustration, due to him being eliminated by two guys. He would have gotten back in the ring again, but it was to no use. You only had one life in the Rumble, and that was it. And Beavis's life in the Rumble was all used up.
"What a sore loser that guy is..." Jonesy muttered.
"I don't blame you one bit, Jonesy," J.R. nodded in comparison. "Anyway, number five's about to make his entrance!"
After Beavis left ringside area, the Rumble clock was displayed once again, forcing Homer and Peter to await the fifth entrant.
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...
*BZZT!*
With the bell sounding again, Homer and Peter awaited the next entrant with smirks on their faces, but so far, no one came out.
"The bell sounded, but no one's coming out." J.R. replied.
"Did someone slip on a banana peel and fall on their ass?" Jonesy shrugged.
"Could be." J.R. shrugged as well.
So far, Peter and Homer started to become impatient again.
But out of nowhere, someone hopped over the barricade to a standing ovation from the Los Angeles crowd. With his trusty cowboy hat, pink shirt, and surfer dude accent, he was indicated as the 5th entrant known as...
Entrant #5: Geoff (Total Drama)
"It's Geoff from "Total Drama"! By god, where did Geoff come from?" J.R. shouted, nearly losing his mind.
"He came by the frickin' barricade! What an entrance this guy made!" Jonesy chuckled.
"Peter Griffin and Homer Simpson doesn't even know Geoff's in the ring with them!" J.R. shouted again.
J.R. was right. The two impatient men didn't even know that Geoff was actually in the ring. But Total Drama's party boy decided to give them his attention by grabbing the back of their heads, and have them engage in a noggin knocker!
"Yeouch! An old-fashioned noggin knocker!" J.R. exclaimed.
"That's enough to give you aspirin!" Jonesy replied.
Geoff was psyched and pumped up from that sneak attack. So far, he continued his frenzy by picking up Homer Simpson and slamming him down with a Herculean-like scoop slam! Peter tried to surprise Geoff with a sneak attack of his own, but Geoff saw him coming and gave Mr. Griffin a scoop slam as well that brought the fans to their feet!
"Good god! Geoff's doing double duty on both men," J.R. replied, "And this crowd loves it!"
"Screw that, I know who my money's on in this Rumble!" Jonesy stated.
"You're putting money on Geoff? You're an announcer! You ain't suppose to make bets on contestants!" J.R. raised an eyebrow.
"Like I give a flying horseshit." Jonesy chuckled, ignoring J.R.'s please.
Geoff continued the momentum when he dropped the leg on Peter, followed by a knee drop from Homer. There was no stopping Geoff from achieving victory.
However, before he would pick up Peter Griffin, Homer Simpson slowly managed to pick up the hockey stick that Buford dropped. Looking to decapitate the party boy himself, Homer swung...
...only to have Geoff kick him in the fruit basket.
"Oh, Homer tried to sneak behind Geoff..." stated Good Ol' J.R.
"...but Geoff used his Spider-sense to get Homer by surprise!" Jonesy said, hoping to see what Geoff would do with the two men.
With Homer groggy, Geoff locked him and Peter in a front facelock...
...and connected with a double DDT!
"Double DDT! Geoff nails it hook, line and sinker!" J.R. exclaimed, feeling the impact from the announce table.
"Geoff's cooking both of them well-done!" Jonesy replied.
Peter and Homer were trying their best to fight back, but the momentum that Geoff was getting was too great. Having Homer lay over Peter, Geoff thought of an idea. So the party boy decided to roll himself under the ring and check under the apron. However, that didn't count as an elimination, since the opponent only needed to go over the top rope with both feet on the floor.
After seconds of searching...
...Geoff brought out a steel chair.
"A steel chair? This oughta be interesting!" J.R. said, becoming a bit anticipated.
With the two men still laid out unconscious, Geoff ascended up the top rope with a steel chair in hand. Eyeing down both Peter and Homer like two tasty New York Strips, Geoff decided to pull off some high-risk offense.
"Uh-oh, what's Geoff's gonna do with that chair?" J.R. replied with his heart beating.
"He's gonna kill two birds with one chair! This is gonna be extreme!" Jonesy said with excitement.
With adrenaline running through his veins, Geoff wrapped the steel chair around his chest and leaped for a moonsault...
...
...
...only for both Peter Griffin and Homer Simpson to move out of the way in time.
The result was Geoff having to painfully crash-land onto the mat!
"Oh my god!" J.R. shrieked.
"Yeouch! That does not feel good at all! Geoff just committed Rumble suicide thanks to that move!" Jonesy shrieked also.
"I don't like Geoff's Rumble chances thanks to that move! And another entrant's about to come up!"
J.R. was right on the mark. So far, both Geoff, Homer and Peter were laid all across the ring. So far, the Rumble clock was ticking, and sooner or later, the sixth entrant was about to make his/hers way.
The only question was:
Who was number six gonna be?
Who is number six indeed? Anyway, here are the entrants in the ring so far...
Entrants still in the ring: Geoff, Homer Simpson, Peter Griffin
Eliminated so far: Buford Van Stomm, Beavis
Like I said once again, this will be the fastest Royal Rumble, just like the 1995 Royal Rumble. So each chapter, I will do five entrants at one time.
Until then, R&R!