"Cartoon Royal Rumble"
Rated T
Summary: 80 men/women from your favorite cartoons will battle it out in a battle royal for a chance at $1,000,000! It's all out mayhem and anarchy in the first ever Cartoon Royal Rumble!
Disclaimer: I especially do not own anything associated with Cartoon Network, Disney, Fox's Animation Domination, Nickelodeon, Adult Swim, Hub Network or anything animated whatsoever. Or not to mention the fact that I don't own WWE or TNA.
P.S.: The list of characters I have will be random, so you won't know who'll show up in this match. Once again, I don't own.
P.P.S.: For those of you who didn't know what Bubbles, Timmy Turner, and Twilight Sparkle had in common, it's because that both characters were voiced by the same voice actor by the name of Tara Strong. Beautiful lady, she is. She's also the voice of Raven of Teen Titans as well.
Chapter 5: Fire And Ice, What a Rush We Got
As the rest of the contestants were busy brawling out in the ring, the Rumble clock counted down.
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #14: Dan (Dan Vs.)
As the fourteenth horn sounded, the malcontent known as Dan from Dan Vs. made his way through the curtain and down the aisle!
"Uh-oh! Looks like trouble's a-brewing!" J.R. exclaimed.
"It's Dan from 'Dan Vs.'," Jonesy replied, "And he's not even in a good mood!"
"I don't blame him one bit, Jonesy!" J.R. nodded. "He's never in a good mood, because he hates practically anything!"
However, Dan wasn't alone. He brought out a steel chair for the occasion!
When he got in the ring, he noticed Geoff and Lightning trying to go after him. In response, Dan whacked them both with the steel chair!
"Look at this! Dan's going nuts!" Jonesy exclaimed.
He was indeed going nuts. After nailing both two of Total Drama alumni, Dan continued his chair-swinging frenzy by whacking Homer Simpson, Timmy Turner, and Twilight Sparkle in a complete rage.
"They're trying to take down Dan, but he's not gonna let them!" J.R, said, being alarmed by Dan's rage.
"Dan's hitting them every chance he sees!" Jonesy smirked.
Before he turned to Bubbles's attention, The cute Powerpuff Girl leaped up, and nailed Dan right in the head with a chair connected to it!
"Ouch! What a Van Daminator by Bubbles!" Jonesy cringed in agony.
"That's definitely not the way Dan wanted to meet Bubbles, but he got it anyway!" J.R. replied
The impact made Dan wobble a bit as Bubbles managed to capitalize. She grabbed the back of Dan's shirt and tried to send him over...
...but Dan managed to capitalize by turning Bubbles over the top rope and onto the floor, eliminating her from the match!
"Bubbles is out! Bubbles is eliminated!" Jonesy cried out.
"That marks Dan's first elimination in the Rumble!"
8th Elimination: Bubbles; Eliminated by: Dan; Duration: 3:23
After Bubbles sadly walked away from her elimination, Lightning and Geoff were busy trying to get Homer Simpson over with a double suplex. But despite their strength, Homer was a hard son of a bitch to pick up. It was because of the beer belly Homer was sporting and such.
"I think Lightning and Geoff are gonna try to get Homer over and up with that double suplex!" J.R. responded.
"Yeah, but they're not doing a good job of it," Jonesy replied. "Homer's stomach is so big, you have to wonder if he stuffed two beer kegs inside that thing!"
However, both Lightning and Geoff weren't gonna quit. They tried lifting Homer up again, but to their surprise...
...Twilight Sparkle assisted them by lifting up Homer legs. With the combined strength, the threesome finally got Homer down with a triple suplex!
"Triple suplex! And they nailed it perfectly!" J.R. exclaimed.
"Homer Simpson is just getting slaughtered here!" Jonesy cringed on the inside.
As 20 seconds was still on the clock, Dan sent up a chair on the turnbuckle.
As he turned around though, Timmy Turner tried to get him by surprise with a double axe handle, but Dan managed to kick him in the fruit basket and trip him off his feet. He then lifted Timmy's legs up, hoping to lock in a Boston Crab.
"Is Dan gonna lock in a Boston Crab? How good is that gonna do in a Royal Rumble match!?" Jonesy raised an eyebrow
"The rules state that you can only eliminate your opponent by throwing them over the top rope and both feet hitting the floor," J.R. stated. "By far, submissions don't count!"
Dan wasn't looking for a submission move. Instead...
...Dan catapulted Timmy onto the chair, chipping the youngster's teeth on impact!
"OUCH! That oughtta bite!" Jonesy cringed again.
"Dan just catapulted Timmy into cold hard steel!" J.R. reacted crazily. "That kid nearly lost his by-gawd teeth!"
"Sucks to be him!" Jonesy snickered, "Anyway, number 15's coming now! Let's see who it is!"
While Timmy held part of his teeth in pain, the Rumble clock displayed itself on the titantron, revealing it's next entrant!
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #15: Heath Burns (Monster High)
With the fifthteenth horn sounding, Monster High's human neighborhood flamethrower, Heath Burns, came out sprinting down the aisle. To a huge surprise, the entire crowd erupted in a huge ovation!
"Well, I didn't expect something like this!" J.R. said. "Our 15th entrant is none other than Heath Burns from 'Monster High'!"
"You gotta be kidding me," Jonesy scowled. "That show's for tweenage girls! A priss like him shouldn't belong here in a ring like this!"
"Regardless of what you feel about him, any cartoon from any kind of form is eligible for the Rumble," J.R. stated from the ground up. "And listen to his LA crowd, going crazy for him!"
Before he could hit the ring however, Heath stopped for a bit and saw a screaming teenage girl by the left.
Seeing her with a picture of Heath Burns in hand, the flame bringer took the time to approach the fangirl and sign her picture, much to her enjoyment!
"I think Heath Burns may be popular here in LA, much more than he is in Monster High!" J.R. exclaimed.
"With all the heat waves that LA's been suffering, you think that he'd be the case for him." Jonesy replied in a jealous way.
However, Heath decided to make his entrance from the top rope, apparently waiting for Geoff to turn around. When the party boy did turn around, Heath leaped on the top and hit Geoff with a top-rope clothesline!
"Whoa! What an explosive clothesline from Heath!" J.R. exclaimed, nearly leaping out of his seat.
"He nearly knocked Geoff's hat out of orbit!" Jonesy chuckled.
After nearly taking Geoff's head off, Heath was approached by Homer Simpson.
Not having time to let Homer recover, Heath ran towards the ropes, springboarding onto Homer Simpson with a missile dropkick!
"Wow! Impressive springboard missile dropkick by Heath!"
"I think Flash Sentry may need to call him, because I happen to think Heath Burns stole his look." Jonesy spat out at Heath.
Still being pumped up by these fans, Heath was approached by Twilight Sparkle, who tried to hit Heath with a steel chair.
Luckily, Heath ducked and hit Twilight Sparkle with a Van Daminator!
"Van Daminator by Heath Burns, no less!" J.R. chuckled.
"RVD would be proud of that move nonetheless," Jonesy respectfully nodded. "But I still can't stand him."
"What's your problem with Heath?" J.R. said to his broadcast partner.
"He's from a prissy girls cartoon!" Jonesy whined.
"Well, regardless, he's heating up this Rumble so far!" J.R. said out of pity.
When Heath got up, Lightning surprised him with a Spear out of nowhere!
"WHOA! HOLY-!" Jonesy said, leaping out of his seat.
"Lightning nearly speared Heath out of his shoes!" J.R. cringed.
"I agree! Man, that was nasty!" Jonesy chuckled.
With Heath Burns unconscious, Lightning flexed his muscles for the fans, which resulted in a mixed reaction from the crowd.
"Looks like half of the Staples Center not liking what they saw!" J.R. stated.
"Lightning hardly cares what these people of LA thinks! He just wants to get rid of Heath once and for all!" Jonesy chuckled, enjoying an unconscious Heath.
With a smirk, Lightning picked up a fallen Heath by his body and dragged him towards the top rope, hoping to eliminate the human flame-thrower from this match.
"Uh-oh, Heath may be going out! There's nowhere to go from here!"
"I wouldn't say so, Jonesy," J.R. shook his head no. "Here's the next entrant in this match! Maybe somebody can help him!"
As soon as Lightning was about to have Heath over and out, the timer showed up on the titantron, revealing its 16th entrant.
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1.. *BZZT!*
Entrant #16: Abbey Bominable (Monster High)
As the 16th horn sounded, Abbey Bominable came out of the curtain, and ran full speed down the aisle, hoping to save Heath Burns from getting eliminated by Lightning. She ended up coming out to the same response as Heath did when he came out.
"What the-? Another one of these freaks?" Jonesy whined. "This is ridiculous!"
"Maybe to you, but any cartoon, regardless of how it's made for boys and girls, can be eligible!" J.R. reminded him again. "Can Abbey save Heath in time?"
"Heh, I doubt it." Jonesy snarled.
As soon as Abbey got inside the ring, she picked up a steel chair. Even though it was a bit heavy to begin with, she didn't care.
Seeing Lightning about to eliminate her love Heath, Abbey swung with great strength and hit Lightning in the back hard!
"OWWWWWWW!" Jonesy winced in pain. "Good god that hurts!"
"Lightning could say the same thing about you right now! That was a hard shot to the back!" J.R. winced as well.
As Lightning was still feeling the effects of that horrendous chair shot, Heath flung himself back to the ring.
With he and Abbey nodding off to each other, the two lifted up Lightning with tremendous strength. After a couple of seconds to spare, the couple instantly took Lightning over the top rope and onto the floor, eliminating him to a strong ovation.
"Whoa! So long, Lightning!" J.R. chuckled.
"Lightning just got eliminated by a yeti-girl and a pyro-maniac? That ain't fair." Jonesy complained.
"Might as well be!" J.R. exclaimed.
9th Elimination: Lightning; Eliminated by: Heath Burns & Abbey Bominable; Duration: 9:20
Lightning wanted to complain, but didn't have the strength to do so. As a result, he walked out of the aisle.
Meanwhile, while Heath and Abbey had their hands full with Geoff, Twilight Sparkle had her hands full with Geoff, who she was trying desperately to get him eliminated. She was successful of getting him over the top rope, now all she needed was to get the party boy to the floor.
Despite all her strength, Twilight couldn't get Geoff over as
Meanwhile, Homer Simpson had picked up Timmy Turner in a powerbomb position!
"Uh-oh, looks like Homer planning to flatten Timmy Turner like a pancake!" Jonesy exclaimed.
"This is gonna be loud!" J.R. nodded.
But before Homer could actually slam Timmy, Twilight clipped Homer in the knee, having Timmy collapse on top of his chest for safety!
"Twilight Sparkle managed to save Timmy from certain doom!" J.R. replied.
"Homer was nearly close from making Timmy extinct!" said Jonesy.
Meanwhile, Heath and Abbey were busy working out forearm shots to Geoff's chest, hoping to roughen him up a bit.
"Look at this teamwork from Heath and Abbey! So far, they've been in charge." J.R. reminded Jonesy.
"So, let me get this straight. They're a couple?" Jonesy raised an eyebrow.
"They definitely are." J.R. nodded.
"It just doesn't mix I tell ya. Fire and ice ain't a good combo!" Jonesy whined again. "It's like mixing cat turds and horse piss!"
After roughing up Geoff a bit, Heath and Abbey whipped him towards the ropes, hoping to get the party boy with a double clothesline of their own, but Geoff managed to duck down.
In response, he both decked the Monster High couple with a flying shoulder block!
"Excellent running double shoulder block by Geoff!" J.R. cried out.
"Heath and Abbey just got run over like bullet trains! That was naaaaaaaaaa-sty!" Jonesy smirked.
"You got it," J.R. nodded. "Anyway, the clock's ticking down! Who's got number seventeen."
As both Heath and Abbey were reeling from that hit, the countdown started ticking down to it's next entrant.
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #17: Timmy's Dad (The Fairly Oddparents)
As the 17th bell sounded, an ordinary guy with slicked back hair, white long-sleeved shirt and blue slacks began running down the aisle. To Timmy Turner's horror, it was none other than his dimwit dad.
"Looks like there's trouble coming..." Jonesy muttered.
"And from the look on Timmy's face says it all!" J.R. exclaimed, seeing Timmy's face go blank. "It's none other than Timmy's dad!"
Timmy's dad then stopped running to look at his son, who was busy getting his head squished by Homer Simpson.
"Hi, Timmy!" Timmy's dad exclaimed, waving hello to his son. "Look who's in the Royal Rumble!"
"Dad, don't be foolish! It's too dangerous!" Timmy said, reaching out to his dad.
Ignoring Timmy's pleads and wasting time, Timmy's dad took off his shirt.
And then, he took his pants off, revealing his big red banana hammock to the crowd! The entire Staples Center shielded their eyes because of the disturbing sight.
"Oh my god, my eyes are burning!" Jonesy screamed, looking at the grotesque image.
"And so is this capacity crowd!" J.R. cringed. "Please, Timmy's Dad! Dear gawd, put some pants back on!"
Timmy's dad was getting the golden opportunity of his life.
But when he came in the ring via top rope...
...Dan came in and decked Timmy's dad with a clothesline, sending him over the top rope and onto the floor, eliminating him to a brilliant applause!
"WHOA! Well, that oughtta hurt!" Jonesy chuckled!
"Timmy's dad has been eliminated! And he lasted only two seconds no doubt!" J.R. shouted out. "That's gonna bite him for a long time!"
10th Elimination: Timmy's Dad; Eliminated by: Dan; Duration: 0:03
After Timmy's dad sadly walked away, Timmy Turner sighed with relief that his dad didn't have to go through so much pain.
But he did. Homer suddenly ran up and hit Timmy with a broski boot!
"Whoa! Big broski boot right to Timmy's face!" J.R. cringed heavily.
"More punches or kicks to the teeth like that, and Timmy won't have any teeth to begin with!" Jonesy chuckled.
Meanwhile, 35 seconds into the match (since Timmy's dad took way too much time to strip and get in the ring), Twilight Sparkle had Abbey Bominable up for Superplex on the turnbuckle. Twilight was doing the best she could to get her off her feet, but it was to no avail.
"A high-risk maneuver coming from Twilight!" J.R. commented.
"That's not a place Twilight wants to be, considering that it involves a higher risk for elimination!" Jonesy exclaimed.
While still trying to lift her up, Heath suddenly came in and lifted Twilight by the shoulders. Suddenly, the crowd all stood up in anticipation for what was gonna happen next!
"Oh wait a minute, Heath's got Twilight by his shoulders!"
With Abbey still on the turnbuckle, she decided to leap from the top rope attempting to hit a Doomsday Device clothesline...
...but Geoff suddenly whacked the flamebringer with a chair, which sent Twilight Sparkle victory rolling for safety. But on the other hand, Abbey ended up clotheslining Geoff instead!
"Good gawd, what a collision!" J.R. cried out.
"I'm certain Abbey wanted to go for Twilight, but she ended up getting Geoff instead," Jonesy nodded. "But what the heck? It's the Royal Rumble, and anything can happen!"
"You got that right," J.R. nodded. "And now we're moments away from finding out who number #18 is! Let's find out!"
While Dan and Homer got their hands full with Timmy Turner, and Abbey, Geoff, Twilight, and Heath were down for the moment's notice, the Rumble clock kept on ticking. A sign that the next entrant was about to come out.
Whoever #18 is, he/she was gonna be in for a very, long night.
Ooooh, the mystery surrounding number 18. That oughta be interesting! Anyway, let's take a look at the stats now!
Entrants still in the ring: Abbey Bominable, Dan, Geoff, Heath Burns, Homer Simpson, Timmy Turner, Twilight Sparkle
Eliminated so far: Buford Van Stomm, Beavis, Plucky Duck, Jonesy Garcia, Peter Griffin, Muscle Man, SpongeBob SquarePants,
Bubbles, Lightning, Timmy's Dad
We got a lot more craziness and a lot more eliminations to come in the fastest Royal Rumble ever! So don't miss the next chapter, or else!
BTW, comments are appreciated, thank you! ^_^