"Cartoon Royal Rumble"
Rated T
Summary: 80 men/women from your favorite cartoons will battle it out in a battle royal for a chance at $1,000,000! It's all out mayhem and anarchy in the first ever Cartoon Royal Rumble!
Disclaimer: I especially do not own anything associated with Cartoon Network, Disney, Fox's Animation Domination, Nickelodeon, Adult Swim, Hub Network or anything animated whatsoever. Or not to mention the fact that I don't own WWE or TNA.
P.S.: The list of characters I have will be random, so you won't know who'll show up in this match. Once again, I don't own.
Chapter 6: It's Samson Time!
With anarchy surrounding the ring, the clock counted down to it's 18th entrant.
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #18: George Liquor, American! (Ren & Stimpy)
With the 18th horn sounding in the match, a middle aged man with a white flat-top began running down the aisle in full speed like a drug-induced madman! The entire Los Angeles crowd went crazy for this man the minute he came through the curtain!
"Holy s**t!" Jonesy cussed out, "It's George Liquor, American!"
"This is quite a surprise," J.R. shrieked, "He was in 'Ren & Stimpy' in the early 90's, and he's now an entrant in the Cartoon Royal Rumble!"
"Hehe, I can't wait to see what George Liquor brings to the table!" Jonesy chuckled, rubbing his hands together.
As George stepped inside the ring, he started hitting right away. He went after Heath, Abbey, Homer, Dan and Twilight at the same time with punch after punch. His drug-induced rage was working wonders.
"Whoa! George is cleaning house!" Jonesy exclaimed.
"It's like he never lost a beat whatsoever!" J.R. exclaimed as well, being impressed by this man.
When he approached Timmy Turner however, he decided to trip the youngster by his feet.
Using his great Herculean strength, the old fart started swinging Timmy Around in a 360 degree angle. And then, he swung him again. He swung him so repeatedly, that it forced the LA crowd to count how many times the old man would swing Timmy.
"What a giant swing!" J.R. nodded. "He's turning Timmy into a human Tilt-o-whirl, it seems!"
"Oh man," Jonesy cringed a little. "I hope he doesn't vomit the rest of the competitors. Especially anywhere over the announcers table."
For added damage, George even knocked Geoff and Homer down by their legs.
After 30 times of spinning Timmy around, he threw the youngster away like trash. By the time it was over, the crowd was on their feet, chanting 'You Still Got It' to the old man.
"I don't know about you, but my head's spinning watching that!" Jonesy said, feeling his eyes roll from George's spectacle.
"George Liquor showing everyone that no matter how old he is today, he's still got some fight left!" J.R. exclaimed.
George's little spin cost Timmy Turner's chances of winning the Rumble as Heath and Abbey teamed up together to toss Timmy over the top rope and on to the floor, eliminating him.
"Well, there goes Timmy Turner!" J.R. pointed out.
"Eliminated by the two mutant freaks." Jonesy chuckled.
"That's Heath Burns and Abbey Bominable, Jonesy." J.R. corrected him.
"Like I give a damn what their names is," Jonesy spat out, "Those freaks belongs in a circus."
11th Eliminated: Timmy Turner; Eliminated by: Heath Burns & Abbey Bominable: Duration: 6:35
After Timmy sadly walked away up the aisle, Twilight Sparkle had Dan surrounded in the turnbuckle, giving the malcontent a 10-punch salute.
"Looks like Twilight's gonna count it down!" J.R. replied.
"That's not a place Twilight wants to be," Jonesy responded in wonder. "Someone could eliminate her!"
Ignoring Jonesy's pleas, Twilight turned her hand into a fist (Yes, she's in Equestria Girls form), and started hitting away.
1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9-
But when she got to the ninth punch, Geoff sneaked up behind her and lifted Twilight on his shoulders. And then, the party boy dropped her with an Electric Chair drop!
"Ouch! That smarts!" Jonesy cringed.
"Twilight's face met the poor end of that mat!" J.R. cried out.
"Sucks to be her," Jonesy smirked. "Anyway, we've got number 19 on the way! Let's see who next!"
With Twilight holding her face in total pain, the Rumble clock appeared on the titantron, about to reveal who number 19 was.
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #19: Phineas Flynn (Phineas and Ferb)
As the 19th horn sounded, a triangle-headed kid made his way through the curtain. With orange hair and an orange-striped shirt Phineas made his way down the aisle.
"Ack!" Jonesy shrieked. "What the holy cat-s*** happened to that kid's head?!"
"That's just Phineas Flynn from the Disney Channel show, 'Phineas and Ferb'!" J.R. reminded him.
"Looks like the hugest-ass Dorito I've ever seen!" Jonesy chuckled.
Ignoring Jonesy's comment, Phineas immediately got in the ring, and surprised Abbey Bominable with a dropkick to the kisser!
"Oh, and Phineas starts off strong with a dropkick!" said the Oklahoman.
"Abbey's sure gonna feel that in the morning!" Jonesy smirked with delight.
Phineas was still getting pumped. He saw Geoff pummeling what was left of Heath Burns on the turnbuckle.
Using his cat-like agility, Phineas leaped to the second rope and caught Geoff with a middle rope Russian Leg Sweep!
"Whoa! No frickin' way," Jonesy said, feeling breathless from Phineas's maneuver. "A Russian Leg Sweep from the middle rope?"
"Phineas Flynn showing very interesting ways to steal the show, and we just saw one of them!" J.R. exclaimed.
After Phineas leaped back up to his feet, he was caught by Twilight Sparkle, who nailed him with a Springboard clothesline from the apron.
"Whoa! Looks like Phineas isn't the only contestant wanting to steal the show!" J.R. replied.
"No kidding," Jonesy nodded in unison. "I think Twilight wants the spotlight only for her, and she may battle Phineas for it!"
After Phineas was trying to recover from that move, Homer Simpson and George Liquor American was trying to double team Dan by trying to get the short angry freak over the top rope.
"Wait a minute, we may have an elimination in our hands!" J.R. cried out.
"If only Dan can hang on long enough for the next entrant to save him," Jonesy responded, feeling some pressure. "Then that would be the crap right about now!"
When Dan was inches away from losing his grip, someone from the audience tossed Dan a flashlight! Unfortunately, the camera was way too far off to see who threw the object to him.
"Wait a minute, who handed Dan a flashlight?" Jonesy raised an eyebrow.
"I'm not sure," J.R. shook his head no. "We couldn't see who threw it from this angle, but we'll find another replay of it when we can."
Using the last of his strength, Dan managed to flash the flashlight at Homer and George's eyes, which blinded them only temporarily.
It worked to Dan's surprise in which the angry malcontent ascended to the top rope. As soon as Homer and George looked to Dan's direction, he flew from the top rope, hitting both men with a double flying body press!
"Wow! Dan just killed two birds with one stone!" Jonesy exclaimed, losing his mind
"And it was in the form of Dan himself!" J.R. replied.
"You know it," Jonesy smirked. "Anyway, we have our next competitor coming up shortly! Who got entry number 20?"
While Twilight was trying to eliminate both Heath and Abbey in one sitting and Geoff getting his hands full with Phineas, the clock began counting down again to its next entrant in the Rumble.
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #20: Brock Samson (The Venture Bros.)
With the 20th horn sounding, a huge muscular man with a curly blonde mullet sprinted from the curtain and rushed down the aisle! With anger through his face, Brock Samson tore through the ring with ease.
"Oh, man! Here comes trouble!" Jonesy chuckled in joy.
"I believe you," J.R. cried out. "Brock Samson from 'The Venture Bros.' is number 20! Who knows what carnage he's gonna unleash!"
By the time Samson got inside the ring, he went on a tear, pummeling both George Liquor American and Homer Simpson at the same time!
"Look at this! Brock Samson's already going to work!" J.R. exclaimed.
"He's too pumped up! He's outta control!" Jonesy smirked again.
Trying to recover quickly from Samson's shots, George Liquor American was immediately lifted over the top rope and onto the floor, ending his short-lived Rumble run in a matter of minutes!
"Oh, and Brock does his first elimination of the match!" J.R. responded.
"There goes George Liquor, American!" Jonesy responded as well.
12th Eliminated: George Liquor, American; Eliminated by: Brock Samson: Duration: 2:10
After George's departure, Brock focused his attention on Homer Simpson, who ended up spitting his Duff beer on Samson, just to blind him.
To Homer's disbelief, it didn't work. Instead, it only pissed off Brock Samson even more!
"Uh-oh! I don't think it's a wise idea to do that, Homer!" Jonesy laughed.
"Homer just dug his own grave!" J.R. cringed.
J.R. was right. In response...
...Brock Samson lifted Homer up in a fireman's carry position, and spun him around, dropping him with an F5!
"F5! F5! Samson got Simpson with the F5!" J.R. shrieked.
"Call it a night for Homer Simpson, cause he's done!" Jonesy smirked yet again.
With Homer unconscious, Samson drove Homer over the top rope. And with instance, Homer's feet touched the floor, eliminating him for the night.
"And Homer Simpson has been eliminated!" J.R. exclaimed.
"And one little beer-spit cost him big time." Jonesy nodded with his broadcast partner.
13th Eliminated: Homer Simpson; Eliminated by: Brock Samson; Duration: 18:30
As soon as Homer began walking up the aisle in defeat, Dan tried to sneak attack Brock Samson by leaping over his back and trapping him with a headlock.
"What the hell is Dan thinking now?" J.R. raised his eyebrow.
"That's only gonna piss him off more!" Jonesy shouted with a laugh.
Bad mistake, Dan. Suddenly, Brock Samson grabbed the malcontent by the neck and slammed him down with a Backpack Stunner!
"Uh-oh! Dan tried to get him by surprise, and it didn't work!" Jonesy obviously stated.
"Nope, Brock Samson saw him coming and Dan paid the price for it!" J.R. shook his head again.
After Dan was busy trying to heal his wounds, Abbey and Heath were double teaming against Twilight, especially when Abbey bodyslammed Twilight into the mat. Seeing this, Heath went through the ropes and began climbing up the top rope as Abbey began spreading Twilight's legs, Dudley-style The people all stood up in unison and cheered for what was about to come next.
"Oh, no. Please tell me this isn't gonna happen..." J.R. gulped.
"I think Heath's gonna give Twilight the new meaning of the word 'Firecrotch'!" Jonesy laughed evilly.
However, before Heath and Abbey could even 'Whazzup', Phineas Flynn whipped Geoff towards the ropes, which forced Heath Burns to fall down with his crotch painfully colliding with the turnpad. The entire crowd all cringed painfully because of that image!
"Ohhhhh, that's not a pretty sight!" Jonesy cringed.
"I think Heath Burns might wanna reconsider having kids in the near future!" J.R. cringed also. "That was disturbing to watch!"
"I know," Jonesy nodded. "While Heath is thinking just that, let's see what number 21 is! I can't wait!"
While Abbey began checking on Heath, the countdown clock started again, revealing who number 21 was in 12... 11...
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #21: Edd a.k.a. Double D (Ed, Edd n Eddy)
As the 21st horn sounded off, a crew of backstage men was busy trying to drag someone through the curtain. He had a black beanie cap and he had such a skinny figure. Even the 21st entrant's fingernails weren't enough to slow him down.
"Well, this is odd!" J.R. exclaimed.
"I know, it's Double D from Ed, Edd n Eddy," Jonesy replied. "And from the looks of things, he doesn't wanna be in this Rumble! You think he was watching Brock Samson's carnage from backstage?"
"I'm certain he has!" J.R. nodded at Jonesy's statement.
Double D was scared of the superstars inside the ring. Of course, with his knees shaking and his entire body trembling in fear, you can tell that he was scared. While the entire security was wasting time trying to get Double D inside the ring...
...Heath and Abbey tried to double team Phineas by getting him in a double superplex.
"Oh man, Phineas is gonna get dropped like a rock!" Jonesy cried out.
"Heath and Abbey are going high risk with this move here! This is gonna be explosive!" J.R. said with his heart pounding uncontrollably.
But before they could instantly nail that double superplex, Geoff and Twilight surprised them by grabbing both Heath and Abbey by the legs in a powerbomb position. Something like this could only mean one thing.
Using their combined strength, Geoff and Twilight powerbombed both the couple...
...and Phineas to the mat! That move sent one earthshaking pop inside the Staples Center!
"GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY, WHAT A CAR WRECK!" J.R. shrieked in horror.
"That wasn't no car wreck, J.R.," Jonesy shook his head. "That was a frickin' Apocalypse!"
"No kidding," J.R. nodded. "And listen to these fans begging for more!"
While the rest of LA chanted 'Holy S***' over and over again, the entire security finally managed to pull Double D to the apron and walk off.
Being a little nervous, Double D slowly managed to slide down the ropes and get into the ring. His knees were still being shaken to the core.
"Well, after a painfully long time, Double D is finally in the ring!" J.R. exclaimed.
"Boy, I wonder how this is gonna turn out..." Jonesy smirked sarcastically.
When Double D finally got inside the ring, his heart sank when he looked up at the one man who was towering over him.
Brock Samson.
"Oh man, I think we've got David vs. Goliath happening here!" J.R. replied.
"Yeah, except that it's gonna end different!" Jonesy chuckled.
As soon as Brock Samson cracked his knuckles and gave Double D one deadly glare, Double D's heart sank.
In response, he screamed for his life!
"AGGGGGGGGH! I CHANGED MY MIND, I DON'T WANNA DO THIS ANYMORE!" Edd cried in fear.
Because of this, Edd ran over the top rope and immediately touched the floor with both feet, running back up the aisle with thousands of people laughing at him as an insult of injury.
"To no surprise, Double D eliminates himself from the Rumble!" J.R exclaimed.
"Can you blame him?" Jonesy said, raising his eyebrow. "He didn't wanna be in the ring with Brock Samson in the first place!"
14th Eliminated: Edd; Eliminated himself; Duration: 0:12
Edd's entire entrance and clumsiness ended up running out the whole Rumble clock by one minute, which was now enough time for the 22nd entrant to make his appearance soon enough.
"Now that we got that god-awful moment out of the way, let's see who number 22 is! I'm feeling ecstatic!" Jonesy exclaimed, feeling a bit pumped up.
Regarding of who number 22 was, things were about to get interesting.
Number 22 oughtta be a blast to see! Okay, let's see which stats we got now:
Entrants still in the ring: Abbey Bominable, Brock Samson, Dan, Geoff, Heath Burns, Phineas Flynn, Twilight Sparkle
Eliminated so far: Buford Van Stomm, Beavis, Plucky Duck, Jonesy Garcia, Peter Griffin, Muscle Man, SpongeBob SquarePants,
Bubbles, Lightning, Timmy's Dad, Timmy Turner, George Liquor American, Homer Simpson, Edd
Now that we've got all the stats piled up, time for me to sleep. Make sure you tune in next chapter for more Cartoon Royal Rumble mayhem!
Comments are appreciated as well! C-ya!