"Cartoon Royal Rumble"
Rated T
Summary: 80 men/women from your favorite cartoons will battle it out in a battle royal for a chance at $1,000,000! It's all out mayhem and anarchy in the first ever Cartoon Royal Rumble!
Disclaimer: I especially do not own anything associated with Cartoon Network, Disney, Fox's Animation Domination, Nickelodeon, Adult Swim, Hub Network or anything animated whatsoever. Or not to mention the fact that I don't own WWE or TNA.
P.S.: The list of characters I have will be random, so you won't know who'll show up in this match. Once again, I don't own.
Chapter 7: With a Little Help From My Friends
With so much carnage in the ring, the countdown clock began again, introducing the next entrant.
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #22: Chris (Dan Vs.)
When the 22nd horn sounded, the entrant didn't appear through the curtain.
But thanks to a good view of the camera, the 22nd entrant came through the crowd, identifying the figure as Chris, Dan's lackey from 'Dan Vs.'!
"Wait a minute," Jonesy paused for a bit. "What's that guy doing here?"
"Apparently, that's Chris from 'Dan Vs.' and he's coming from the crowd!" J.R. said, seeing the figure full-on.
"Was that the guy who threw Dan the flashlight just to keep him safe? How is that fair?" Jonesy complained.
As soon as Chris hit the ring, he noticed Dan being choked by Twilight's boot.
When Chris tried to help Dan, Heath Burns came out of nowhere and dropkicked him to the turnbuckle.
"Whoa! Heath came in like a missile!" J.R. leaped out of his seat.
"I'll say, he's flying like a heat-seeking missile," Jonesy nodded. "Still hate him though."
The impact from that dropkick was enough to make Chris groggy. As a result, Heath and Abbey decided to team up again.
Seeing Chris lay down on the turnbuckle, Heath whipped Abbey...
...only to have her slide in and dropkick Chris right in the jewels! The entire crowd had cringed in awe!
"Ohhhhh! That's almost like a Ford slamming through a brick wall!" Jonesy cringed.
"Forget Heath Burns, I think Chris may not have kids at all thanks to that move!" J.R. cried out.
After being choked out by Twilight's shoe, Dan tried to recover...
...only for Geoff to run in after him and land in a knee facebuster!
"Whoa, now Geoff wants in on the action!" J.R. exclaimed.
"Dan is becoming some sort of human pain magnet!" Jonesy replied.
While Dan was still enduring pain, a good 30 seconds had already been past as Brock Samson picked up Abbey Bominable in a fireman's carry position.
Just to spice things up, Samson decided to spin Abbey in a 360 degree angle! And to add insult to injury, Samson decided to use Abbey as a weapon, knocking down Geoff, Twilight, Heath, Phineas, Chris and Dan in the process!
"Wow, this is insane!" Jonesy said, losing his mind a little.
"Brock Samson is using Abbey Bominable as some kind of tornado!" J.R. cried out. "I hardly see stuff like this back in WWE!"
"I know the feeling," Jonesy nodded. "When you're caught in that airplane spin for long, you'll hope for your well-being that you don't puke!"
Before he could spin Abbey more, Heath suddenly came in...
...and nailed Brock Samson with a superkick, therefore ending Samson's little move!
"And Heath manages to save Abbey in time!" J.R. replied.
"What do you think Abbey's vomit would look like if she puked?" Jonesy chuckled. "Maybe a little combination of pancakes and piss?"
"Will you stop?!" J.R. said, fuming at Jonesy for that little comment. "Anyway, we're about to see number 23!"
"Yeah, I can't wait!" Jonesy said, acting a bit giddy.
While Heath began checking on Abbey, the countdown began again, indicating the arrival of the 23rd entrant.
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
As the 22nd horn sounded, the people around Staples Center all stood up to see who would come through that curtain.
"Who is it?" J.R. shrugged.
"I don't know? I guess someone's sick, it seems..." Jonesy muttered.
"May-wait, something's happening under the ring!" J.R. exclaimed in panic.
The rest of the contestants were looking at the curtain, waiting patiently for number 23 to come out.
But then all of a sudden, right behind Chris, somekind of ghost woman popped up from the mat. She had purple hair, ghostly bluish eyes, purple lipstick and ghostly pale skin. It was then that Jonesy identified the figure as...
Entrant #23: Spectra Vondergeist (Monster High)
"Wh-WHAT THE HELL?" Jonesy shouted in a scared state of panic. "IT'S A GHOST!"
"That's not any ghost. That's Spectra Vondergeist, the gossip queen of 'Monster High'!" J.R. responded, not acting scared at all.
"Great, so she's a freak like Heath and Abbey," Jonesy snarled again. "It's becoming a damn horrorshow now!"
Upon entering the ring, Spectra decided to sneak up on Chris, who was still looking at the curtain.
Just like a sneaky ninja, Spectra came up behind Chris and threw him out instantly. Spectra received a standing ovation for her first elimination of the match!
"And just like that, that ghost-freak eliminated Chris!" Jonesy whined. "And he never gotten a chance to prove himself!"
"That's what happens in the Rumble, you'll never know what to expect next!" J.R. shrugged.
15th Eliminated: Chris; Eliminated by: Spectra Vondergeist; Duration: 1:19
While Dan was cussing his heart out of the result of Chris being eliminated, Spectra was focused on Brock Samson, who was busy trying to get Phineas out.
But before Brock could ever get the job done, Spectra nailed Brock with a roundhouse kick to the back of the head!
"Oh! What a shot!" J.R. said in awe.
"Spectra nearly wiped that blonde mullet off of Brock Samson's head!" Jonesy exclaimed.
While Brock tried to recover from the hard hit, Geoff and Dan were busy double teaming Heath Burns.
The party boy wrapped Heath's legs around his arms and turned him over for a boston crab, while at the same time...
...the pissed off Dan sat on Heath's back and locked in his shoulders for a camel clutch!
"Whoa! We got a double submission going on!" Jonesy smirked.
"A boston crab combined with a camel clutch?" J.R. raised an eyebrow. "That's gonna make Heath's back sore in the morning!"
However, while Abbey and Spectra were trying to eliminate Phineas, the yeti-girl saw his crush being flattened by two men.
Seeing this, Abbey went under the ring and found a steel chair.
"Whoa! Is Abbey looking to go to the extreme here?" J.R. replied.
"Maybe she wants to sit and cry at her boyfriend's ass being handed to him." Jonesy chuckled.
He wasn't looking to sit and cry, instead...
...Abbey swung the chair, hitting both Geoff and Dan successfully!
"And Abbey nails them both directly!" J.R. replied.
"Heath should be so lucky!" Jonesy sarcastically exclaimed.
After Abbey started checking up on her boyfriend...
...they were speared out of nowhere by Brock Samson!
"OH SH-!" Jonesy yelped, jumping out his seat from that impact.
"Brock Samson nearly speared Heath and Abbey out of their dadgum shoes!" J.R. cried out.
"He's definitely gonna put them six feet under where they belong!" Jonesy snarled, taunting the couple from far away.
While both Heath and Abbey were laid unconscious, the clock began ticking down on the titantron to a next entrant.
"Looks like number 24's on the way," Jonesy said, looking pumped up. "Who's it gonna be?"
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #24: Sam (Total Drama)
As the 24th horn was blared out over the Staples Center, a Seth Rogen-lookalike with glasses burst through the curtain. Strapping on the power glove for extra measure, (indicating his love for video games) Total Drama's resident video gamer Sam ran down the aisle with a burst of energy.
"Well, I remember this guy!" Jonesy exclaimed.
"Me too! It's Total Drama: Revenge of the Island and All-Star gamer Sam!" J.R. exclaimed as well. "Boy, is he looking pumped up today to be here!"
With an ounce of energy, Sam got inside the ring and started going at it with Dan. Both men were firing each shots of fists after another.
"Well, it didn't take too long for Sam to find out who he's fighting against!" Jonesy replied.
"I wonder which one of them is gonna be beaten down like the government rule?" J.R. raised an eyebrow, just for a guess.
After the momentum shifted back and forth between punches, Sam got the upper hand.
He was dizzying around Dan with punches out of nowhere. After pulling in a three-hit combo, Sam decided to follow with a little robot dance. The crowd was eating up Sam's little dance routine, chanting 'Robot! Robot! Robot!'
When his dance was done, he smacked Dan in the kisser!
"Wow, we just saw a Shake, Rattle & Roll here in the Royal Rumble!" Jonesy chuckled.
"Shades of Road Dogg Jesse James no less!" J.R. nodded.
"I hope the gamer can keep this up for a full hour!" Jonesy added in that statement.
While Sam was busy taking care of Dan, Twilight was being ganged up by both Abbey, Heath and Spectra of Monster High. Apparently, she was about to be a victim of an elimination process, where it was 3-on-1.
"Uh-oh, we could see Twilight get eliminated!" J.R. alerted Jonesy.
"It would be a shame if she got eliminated at the hands of those freaks," Jonesy cringed a little bit. "After all, she's a favorite to go all the way!"
Before Twilight could get over and out, Phineas suddenly came into the nick of time with a chair!
With added power, he blasted both three monsters with the chair, which forced Twilight to rest on the apron.
"Twilight has been saved by Phineas!" J.R. cried out.
"Yeah, for now! That was almost way too close!" Jonesy sighed.
Twilight didn't want to rest any longer. She wanted to unleash some offense.
Staring down both Heath, Abbey and Spectra, Twilight leaped from the apron and nailed both three with a flying somersault senton, knocking the trio down like bowling pins! Suddenly, the fans all came up to their seats for that one!
"What an impressive maneuver by Twilight!" J.R. replied.
"Definitely impressive!" Jonesy nodded in unison. "That'll shut them freaky bastards up!"
"I don't know what kind of grudge you have against Monster High," J.R. shrugged to Jonesy. "What's your problem with them anyway?"
"Heath burned my underwear!" Jonesy whined.
While Jonesy was still whining on commentary, Geoff and Brock Samson were busy having a test of strength.
So far, it was a tug-of-war battle between two muscular men. Geoff had Brock beat, using every ounce of his strength to send Samson down on his knees.
"Look at this test of strength here!" Jonesy alerted J.R.
"I've never seen Brock Samson go down on his knees, until now!" J.R. replied.
But before Brock could go all the way down, he began lifting himself up slowly, turning the tide in a battle of strength.
After another good second or two, Brock brought Geoff to his knees. This brought another standing ovation from the crowd!
"Brock Samson's fighting back! There's no quit in this man!" J.R. cried out.
"Well, if I was Geoff, I'd quit now," Jonesy obviously stated, "Because there's no way Geoff's gonna lift himself up again after that one!"
"You said it!" J.R. exclaimed while nodding. "Anyway, we've got number 25 about to make his/hers appearance!"
While the test of strength was still going on, the Rumble clock ticked again. Number 25 was making his way in T-minus...
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #25: Spike (My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic)
With the horn blaring out for the 25th time, a purple baby dragon with some sort of green mohawk and dragon tail came running through the curtain!
"Oh man, is this about to be exciting!" Jonesy said, rubbing his hands together.
"We've got Spike from 'My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic' at number 25," J.R. stated out. "And with Twilight Sparkle in the Rumble, these two will be unstoppable!"
As soon as Spike got inside the ring, the baby dragon saw Twilight being roughed up by Dan.
In response, Spike kicked Dan right across the head, stunning him for a bit. To add insult to injury, Twilight saw a stunned Dan, and gave him a spinning heel kick at the same time that Spike sweeped Dan off his feet!
"Total Elimination!" Jonesy shouted out, Joey Styles-style.
"Dan got flipped over like a flapjack through a griddle!" J.R. said, adjusting his hat.
After taking care of Dan, Spike decided to focus on Heath Burns by giving the flame-bringer a headlock. At the same time, Abbey wanted to get his hands on that baby dragon herself.
Seeing this, Spike wrapped his dragon legs around Abbey's neck and flipped himself over, nailing the couple with a headlock-headscissors combo!
"Whoa! What a combo by Spike!" Jonesy said, wiping the sweat off his forehead!
"This dragon is instantly cleaning house!" J.R. exclaimed.
"What on earth is he gonna do next?" Jonesy shrugged.
While Spike was cleaning house, Spectra looked over the test of strength between Brock Samson and Geoff.
Just to piss Samson off, Spectra came in and hit Samson with an enzugiri on the back of his head. However, this forced Geoff to pick Brock up in a fireman's carry position. However, Geoff was struggling to keep his balance intact.
"Uh-oh, what's Geoff trying to do with Brock, hit him with an F5?" Jonesy raised an eyebrow.
"I think that's what Geoff has planned!" J.R. spoke in hesistation.
However, Geoff wasn't looking to hit an F5. Instead...
...Spectra dashed back between the ropes, grabbing Brock Samson's neck and flipping him over with a corkscrew neckbreaker at the same time Geoff put him down with the Samoan Drop!
"G9! G9! Man, that was brutal!" Jonesy chuckled.
"Both Geoff and Spectra are unleashing pain on Brock Samson," J.R. commented. "And so far, Samson's taking each blow like a champion!"
As Samson was laid out from that maneuver, Sam was doing his best trying to eliminate Twilight Sparkle from this match. Spike could've helped her out, but he was keeping company with both Heath and Abbey.
"Uh-oh, Twilight could be going over and out!" J.R. said, getting chills from his spine.
"Somehow, Twilight has become a main target in this match!" Jonesy pointed out. "She needs to fight back or she's toast. And I'm not talking about bread, buddy!"
"Geez, now you're making me hungry..." J.R. muttered.
Twilight was in fact a goner. But as soon as she went over...
...Phineas snuck up from behind, grabbed the gamer by the shirt, and instantly threw him over the top rope and onto the floor, signaling an elimination! Twilight on the other hand, still saved herself from elimination.
"Sam's gone! Sam's eliminated for the night!" J.R. cried out.
"Well, as much as I hate to say this for Sam," Jonesy said, clearing his throat a little. "But it's game over for him!"
16th Eliminated: Sam; Eliminated by: Spectra Vondergeist; Duration: 1:40
While Sam walked away from ringside in defeat, Spike had Abbey right by the legs!
From there, she grabbed her toe and started spinning it around painfully! Abbey tried not to scream in pain, but since Spike was twisting her toe like a bow tie, she had no choice but to yell in pain!
"My god, a spinning toe hold," J.R. replied. "Shades of the hardcore legend and hall-of-famer Terry Funk!"
"Geez, imagine that toe being spun around like clay! It's not very pretty!" Jonesy cringed.
"I understand! Can anyone save Abbey, especially number 26?" J.R. said, looking at both Abbey and the Rumble clock.
Everyone was tense of who number 26 would be. Luckily, they wouldn't wait long to find out.
Okay, now that I'm done slacking off, let's see which stats we have now:
Entrants still in the ring: Abbey Bominable, Brock Samson, Dan, Geoff, Heath Burns, Phineas Flynn, Spectra Vondergeist, Spike, Twilight Sparkle
Eliminated so far: Buford Van Stomm, Beavis, Plucky Duck, Jonesy Garcia, Peter Griffin, Muscle Man, SpongeBob SquarePants,
Bubbles, Lightning, Timmy's Dad, Timmy Turner, George Liquor American, Homer Simpson, Edd, Chris, Sam
Will number 26 save Abbey Bominable or time, or will her toe be made into a popsicle at the hands of Spike? Leave a comment if you can until next chapter! Later, my bronies!