"Cartoon Royal Rumble"
Rated T
Summary: 80 men/women from your favorite cartoons will battle it out in a battle royal for a chance at $1,000,000! It's all out mayhem and anarchy in the first ever Cartoon Royal Rumble!
Disclaimer: I especially do not own anything associated with Cartoon Network, Disney, Fox's Animation Domination, Nickelodeon, Adult Swim, Hub Network or anything animated whatsoever. Or not to mention the fact that I don't own WWE or TNA.
P.S.: The list of characters I have will be random, so you won't know who'll show up in this match. Once again, I don't own.
Chapter 8: Friendship Is Hardcore
With Spike wrangling Abbey's toe pianfully, the countdown began once again, revealing the 26th entrant.
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #26: Stewie Griffin (Family Guy)
As the horn sounded, a baby with a yellow shirt and red overalls sprinted from the curtain. Feeling familiar with that football-shaped of his, Jonesy identified the next entrant!
"You gotta be kidding me? A baby's in the Royal Rumble?" Jonesy raised an eyebrow.
"Like it or not, there is," J.R. nodded, "Stewie Griffin's in the Rumble as the 26th entrant."
"That kid's gonna die the first minute he gets in the ring!" Jonesy cried out.
Stewie was set to prove Jonesy dead wrong.
As Abbey finally pushed Spike away, Stewie managed to get in the ring...
...and as Spike was coming on to the baby, Stewie decked him cold with a jumping reverse STO!
"Whoa! Tough luck to be Spike!" Jonesy replied.
"Stewie nailed him with the Paydirt!" J.R. shouted.
After dealing with Spike, Stewie saw Phineas and Spectra brawl.
Just to keep this momentum going, the baby suddenly leaped to the second rope and springboarding back...
...only to hit Phineas with a tornado DDT!
"Whoa! That baby's got some sick moves! AWESOME!" Jonesy shouted in glee.
"And we just saw one today," J.R. nodded in unison. "What an impressive DDT by Stewie Griffin!"
"I wonder what kind of sick stuff he's gonna pull today..." Jonesy muttered.
However, while Stewie was busy finding some other sucker to beat on, Geoff was doing his best, trying to eliminate Heath Burns from his contest. He got the flame-bringer over the top rope and all the party boy needed to do was push him out.
"Whoa! Is Heath Burns gonna go out?" J.R. raised an eyebrow.
"Get him over, Geoff! Get that freak over the top and out on the floor!" Jonesy shouted, cheering on Geoff.
"There's no favoritism in the Rumble, Jonesy!" J.R. stated to his partner. "You're an announcer!"
"Your pleas and moos mean squat to me, Cowboy." Jonesy spat at J.R.
Heath managed to go down on the apron, but that only made Geoff push his foot into his ribs, hoping to go out.
But when Geoff did push Heath off the apron, he feet didn't touch the floor. Only his hands did, which only meant one thing...
...
...
...
...
...Heath was hand-standing!
"Whoa, check this out!" Jonesy said, catching his breath from this unbelievable image!
"I don't believe it if I didn't see it," J.R. said, losing his mind a bit. "Heath's borrowing a page from Kofi Kingston!"
Using this little trait, Heath managed to handstand all the way to the steel steps, preventing elimination. From there, Heath received a earth-shattering ovation from this L.A. crowd, chanting out Heath's name because of this.
"Heath's back in! Heath's still in the Rumble!" J.R. cried out.
"I can't believe that fire-flinging freak is still in," Jonesy complained. "Why can't someone eliminate him already?!"
After Heath made his way back in the ring, Dan managed to go under the ring and looked under the apron for a weapon. Luckily, it was a smart thing to go under the rope, concerning that fact that if Dan was thrown over the top rope, then he would be eliminated.
"Well, it looks like Dan's looking to go to the extreme!" Jonesy replied.
"I hate to see what Dan's gonna use to his disposal!" J.R. cringed a little.
After searching, Dan finally managed to get out a fire extinguisher!
When Twilight was seconds away from getting her hands on Dan, the malcontent blasted the extinguisher near Twilight's face!
"Whoa! That's a wakeup call if Twilight ever felt one!" Jonesy chuckled.
"Dan just blasted her right in the kisser!" J.R. cringed once more.
Twilight was only the beginning.
When Dan got back inside the ring, he ended up blasting Phineas, Geoff, Spectra, and Abbey all at one sitting!
"This match is turning into full-blown Alaska here!" Jonesy responded.
"With the fire extinguisher that Dan's using, the rest of the competitors can feel it from a standpoint!"
While Dan was busy waiting for someone to blast that extinguisher with, number 27 was about to make his/her way.
Seeing the countdown clock on the titantron, Jonesy spoke out, "We got another one coming up in T-minus..."
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #27: Sunset Shimmer (My Little Pony: Equestria Girls)
As the 27th horn sounded, a chick with crimson-yellowish hair complete with a leather jacket, purple tanktop and an orange skirt came rolling in the Rumble carrying a garbage can full of weapons. With a smirk on her face, Sunset Shimmer arrived for battle.
"Oh man," Jonesy sighed. "As if the Rumble wasn't hardcore enough, look who it is! It's that freak Heath Burns's sister!"
"That is not Heath Burns's sister! It's Sunset Shimmer from 'My Little Pony: Equestria Girls'," J.R. corrected Jonesy. "And it looks like she came here fully equipped!"
"She sorta looked like his sister..." Jonesy muttered.
Dan waited for Sunset Shimmer to get to the ring so she could taste some extinguisher, but Sunset had another idea.
She threw her garbage can and smacked Dan head-on!
"OWWWWW!" Jonesy cringed from that impact. "That's gotta bite!"
"How many weapons had Sunset Shimmer stuffed into that can of hers is what I'm dying to know!" J.R. replied.
That little garbage can shot cost Dan hard as Geoff picked up the malcontent, sent him over the top rope and onto the floor, eliminating him.
"There goes Dan! Dan's outta here!" J.R. cried out.
"And from the look on his face, he's not happy about it," Jonesy nodded. "But what am I saying? Dan's never happy!"
17th Eliminated: Dan; Eliminated by: Geoff; Duration: 13:18
Dan was shocked to find out he was eliminated like this. Before he soon left, Dan screamed out some parting words of his own.
"GEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFF!" He screamed.
After Dan's departure, Sunset Shimmer dug into her garbage can and pulled out a Singapore cane!
"Uh-oh! Sunset Shimmer's looking to go into total Sandman mode now!" Jonesy said, getting goosebumps.
"Look at her clutching that cane tight. This is gonna be madness!" J.R. pointed out.
For her first victim, Sunset started whacking Abbey Bominable right in the ass! And then, Sunset did the same thing with Heath Burns!
"OH!" J.R. cringed in awe. "Sunset just whacked both Heath and Abbey like pinatas!"
Her carnage was just getting started. After successfully nailing the Monster High couple, Sunset ended up clobbering Brock Samson, Spectra and Geoff with the cane in one sitting!
"Oh man, and now Samson, Spectra and Geoff get it!" Jonesy cringed in awe, "This girl has gone completely nuts!"
When Stewie Griffin tried to go after her, it was useless.
Because of this, Sunset Shimmer whacked the toddler in the ass!
"AGH! What the hell, bitch?" Stewie snapped at Sunset.
"Now Stewie suffers the same fate!" J.R. cringed again.
"All except Twilight! She's the only one who not a part of this cane-fest!" Jonesy obviously pointed out.
Jonesy was right on the mark.
After taking care of perhaps the entire roster, Sunset Shimmer stared down Twilight Sparkle like two forces of good and evil getting ready to fight. The entire LA crowd all stood up on their seats, hoping to see this one go down sooner than later.
"You can cut the tension with a knife," J.R. paused a bit. "This is gonna be one hell of a slobber-knocker!"
"I wonder what they're thinking right now?" Jonesy said, still getting goosebumps from the face-off.
With an evil smirk, Sunset fired the first verbal shot, "Get ready to dance, princess!"
"Don't mind if I do." Twilight replied, cracking her knuckles.
But before the two could actually face-off, the Rumble clock ticked down. Which meant another entrant was making their way.
"I'd hold off on the faceoff, because number 28's coming up shortly!" Jonesy exclaimed.
Because of this, Twilight and Sunset held off their showdown to see the last 10 seconds tick down.
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #28: The Great And Powerful Trixie (My Little Pony: Equestria Girls)
After the horn sounded for the 28th time, a sapphire pony with a wizard's hat bolted through the curtain. Twilight couldn't believe who it was from looking at her.
"Uh-oh, did things get interesting here!" Jonesy chuckled.
"Twilight's in trouble," J.R. exclaimed, "Because here comes The Great And Powerful Trixie! This isn't gonna be good!"
When Trixie got in the ring, she and Sunset Shimmer had Twilight cornered. So far, this faceoff between Sunset and Princess Twilight was slowly becoming a handicap match.
But Twilight wasn't scared. She was a little nervous because of the odds stacked against her, but she was ready nonetheless.
"Looks like Twilight's gonna go ahead with it!" J.R. replied.
"She's crazy," Jonesy scoffed. "She'll get thrown out in a matter of minutes!"
However, before Sunset and Trixie could ever get to Twilight, Sunset turned to Trixie...
...
...
...
...
...and blasted her in the face with the cane!
"Oh, GOOD GOD!" Jonesy shouted out of shock. "Well, that didn't last long!"
"Trixie got smashed by that Singapore cane! That was louder than a screaming pet coon!" J.R. cried out.
Meanwhile, Twilight Sparkle capitalized on this opportunity and ended up spearing Sunset Shimmer to the mat!
Regarding Trixie however, the cane shot forced The Great and Powerful one to bleed from the forehead, rendering her unconscious.
"I think Trixie's donning the crimson mask!" J.R. cried out in horror.
"Well, if Trixie keeps bleeding, she might as well donning a crimson jumpsuit!" Jonesy chuckled.
Meanwhile, Spike was busy with Phineas Flynn on the turnbuckle. Spike managed to strip Phineas out of his shirt and gave him a stinging chop to the chest. With each chop, the crowd responded in a "Wooooo" chant!
"Man, are those chops nasty to hear!"
"I agree," J.R. nodded. "And Phineas is feeling every last one so far."
As Spike was about to give out another chop, he and Phineas were sandwiched by both Geoff and Brock Samson, who were busy tying up! Brock Samson ended up suffocating both Spike and Phineas to death, trying to find room to at least breathe!
"Wow, you really hate to be them right now!" Jonesy chuckled a bit.
"I couldn't agree with you more!" J.R. nodded again.
However, Brock managed to shove Geoff off of him. After Spike and Phineas were busy trying to catch their breath, the baby dragon suddenly turned to the muscular Samson.
In response to this surprise attack, Spike gave Brock Samson an open chop. Suddenly, Brock Samson looked pissed off, therefore turning to the baby dragon with an angry glare.
"Uh-oh, I think Spike made a huge mistake there!" J.R. replied.
"Yeah, those sneak attacks are gonna piss him off for sure!" Jonesy nodded.
Feeling scared, Spike tried his best to calm Brock Samson down, "Hey, calm down, big guy. I don't want any trouble. I just wanna win, okay?"
Nothing was calming Samson down. Instead, the blonde muscle man picked the baby dragon up by two hands and sent him flying over the top rope and onto the floor.
"Well, there goes Twilight Sparkle's backup now!" Jonesy chuckled.
"One little mishap from Spike claims his run in the Royal Rumble!" J.R. responded.
18th Eliminated: Spike; Eliminated by: Brock Samson; Duration: 3:44
As Spike walked away from ringside sadly, Geoff was enduring a 3-on-1 elimination process that involved Heath Burns, Abbey Bominable, and Spectra Vondergeist. So far, it was man against a fire element, a yeti-woman and a ghost.
"Look at this triple team go!" J.R. hollered. "Will Geoff manage to survive against all three?"
"Hang on Geoff," Jonesy shouted out. "Don't get eliminated by these bunch of freaks! I'm telling you, J.R., I can't stand monsters..."
As they were about to eliminate Geoff from the Rumble, Stewie Griffin came rolling in with the fire extinguisher, blasting all three successfully!
"Well, that's a way to save Geoff there!" Jonesy responded.
"Stewie just saved Geoff from certain doom!" J.R. nodded.
"I'm only hoping that every one of those freaks gets eliminated." Jonesy snarled.
Meanwhile, as Geoff rolled back into the ring, The Great and Powerful Trixie was finally getting up. But unfortunately, the blood that was pouring from her face affected her vision.
Suddenly, the countdown clock appeared on the titantron, making way for another entrant.
"Here comes entrant #29!" Jonesy exclaimed.
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #29: Flash Sentry (My Little Pony: Equestria Girls)
The horn sounded again as a blue-haired teenager who looked more like Heath Burns sprinted to the ring. With a shield/lightning bolt emblazoned on his shirt (which was covered by a leather jacket with a single white-red stripe), Flash Sentry leaped towards the ring.
"Oh, no. Please tell me this isn't Heath Burns's brother!" Jonesy whined.
"No, it's not," J.R. shook his head no. "It's actually Flash Sentry from 'My Little Pony: Equestria Girls'."
"Geez, I swore Heath's family looked more like him." Jonesy muttered.
As soon as Flash got inside the ring, he looked over at a bloody Great and Powerful Trixie. Capitalizing on this opportunity, Flash picked up Trixie, sent her over the top rope and onto the floor, resulting in an easy elimination!
"And with that, Flash eliminates Trixie from the Rumble." J.R. stated out.
"Yeah, it's such a shame that Trixie never even got a chance to prove herself." Jonesy complained a little.
19th Eliminated: The Great and Powerful Trixie; Eliminated by: Flash Sentry; Duration: 1:08
While the rest of the EMT's came over to check on a bloodied Trixie, Flash Sentry started firing forearm shots right at Heath Burns. Flash successfully pulled off a 3-hit forearm combo, before decking the flame-bringer with a rolling elbow!
"Ohhh, that'll make you lose your teeth!" Jonesy cringed a bit.
"Heck, maybe your entire jaw!" J.R. nodded.
After striking down Heath, Flash Sentry took his focus on Geoff. Just like Heath, Flash pulled off another 3-hit forearm combo on the party boy and finishing it off with another rolling elbow!
"Heath Burns's brother is on fire! He just took down Geoff!" Jonesy clapped.
"That is not Heath Burns's brother!" J.R. corrected him.
"Might as well be," Jonesy said, defending his comment. "You see how Heath and Flash almost dress alike? That's how I know they could be brothers."
While J.R. was busy being tired of Jonesy's comments, Twilight Sparkle was busy handling Sunset Shimmer on the turnbuckle. While Sunset was being groggy on the top turnbuckle, Twilight had something in mind.
"What's Twilight thinking right now?" J.R. replied.
"Is she gonna dropkick Sunset Shimmer over the top rope?" Jonesy guessed out.
She wasn't gonna do that. Instead, Twilight performed a handstand across the turnbuckle...
...
...
...and grabbed Sunset's neck by her legs, sending her down with a Stratusphere!
"Whoa! Twilight paying homage to Trish Stratus with that move!" said the Oklahoman.
"I dunno why, but I just got a good look at Twilight's underwear there!" Jonesy chuckled like a dirty pig.
"Hey, stick to the announcing for now, and keep those thoughts after the show's over, okay?" J.R. reminded him.
The carnage continued even more as Phineas Flynn trapped Abbey on the right turnbuckle. Feeling pumped up by this capacity crowd, the tweenager rushed in and gave a stinger splash to the yeti-woman.
"Excellent stinger splash by Phineas! Reminds me of a certain face-painted superstar in TNA!" Jonesy exclaimed.
"I know what you mean by that, Jonesy!" J.R. nodded through Jonesy's statement.
As Abbey was busy trying to recover from the splash, Phineas ran to the opposite turnbuckle and performed yet another Stinger Splash on Abbey!
"Phineas is going outright crazy here with these splashes, J.R.!" Jonesy shouted.
"And that's how he likes it!" J.R. nodded once again. "We're definitely seeing a much more crazier Phineas!"
With Abbey nearly moments away from being unconscious, Phineas had time for one more Stinger Splash.
The tweenager took off again, but suddenly, Abbey caught Phineas in mid-air. Because of that, Abbey launched Phineas over the top rope and on the floor, ending Phineas's run in the Rumble.
"Yeah, too bad Phineas got thrown out before we could see it head-on..." Jonesy muttered.
"Abbey Bominable does yet another elimination!" declared J.R.
20th Eliminated: Phineas Flynn; Eliminated by: Abbey Bominable; Duration: 10:35
After Phineas's departure, Flash Sentry, Heath Burns and Geoff were busy triple teaming Brock Samson. Apparently, it was a wise move, since Brock Samson was clearly the largest man in the match so far.
"Looks like we got ourselves a slobber-knocker right here, wouldn't you say, J.R?" Jonesy smirked.
"I think it's more like getting beat down like a government mule!" J.R. said, turning the other page around.
After Brock was roughed up enough, Flash and Heath picked him up, only to carry him on Geoff's shoulders, hoping for some sort of triple powerbomb...
...not knowing Stewie Griffin ascended over the top rope. As Geoff began to slam him down, Stewie leaped up and grabbed Brock's neck, colliding with a powerbomb-neckbreaker combo! This brought out another big pop from the fans.
"Dear god, somebody warn the president of the United States, because that was explosive!" Jonesy smirked.
"I won't lie to you," J.R. nodded again. "That's almost like the force of a nuclear bomb!"
While Brock Samson was reeling from the powerbomb, more pain was given to him when Spectra Vondergeist suddenly somersaulted across the mat...
...
...and nailed Samson with a Rolling Thunder!
"Rolling Thunder from Spectra on Samson!" J.R. exclaimed.
"Like these freaks wouldn't even bother letting Samson recover for a moment."
"While you complain a lot, let's see who's number 30 in this fastest Royal Rumble ever!" J.R. said, seeing the Rumble clock count down from his very own glasses.
The fans around the Staples Center all awaited who number 30 was gonna be. No matter who it was, like everyone who's competing in the Rumble so far, they would be in the fight of their life.
Man, another chapter, another long day. So far, here's what we've got...
Entrants still in the ring: Abbey Bominable, Brock Samson, Flash Sentry, Geoff, Heath Burns, Spectra Vondergeist, Stewie Griffin, Twilight Sparkle
Eliminated so far: Buford Van Stomm, Beavis, Plucky Duck, Jonesy Garcia, Peter Griffin, Muscle Man, SpongeBob SquarePants,
Bubbles, Lightning, Timmy's Dad, Timmy Turner, George Liquor American, Homer Simpson, Edd, Chris, Sam, Dan, Spike, The Great And Powerful Trixie, Phineas Flynn
Number 30... who shall it be? I know who it is, but yet, I can't tell ya until next chapter! Until then, see ya bronies and non-bronies!