"Cartoon Royal Rumble"
Rated T
Summary: 80 men/women from your favorite cartoons will battle it out in a battle royal for a chance at $1,000,000! It's all out mayhem and anarchy in the first ever Cartoon Royal Rumble!
Disclaimer: I especially do not own anything associated with Cartoon Network, Disney, Fox's Animation Domination, Nickelodeon, Adult Swim, Hub Network or anything animated whatsoever. Or not to mention the fact that I don't own WWE or TNA.
P.S.: The list of characters I have will be random, so you won't know who'll show up in this match. Once again, I don't own.
Chapter 10: Icy Rage
With the patience growing restless from the fans, number 34 was now making his way in about...
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #34: Randy Marsh (South Park)
As the horn sounded for the 34th time, a middle aged man with black hair, a corny mustache and teal work-shirt bolted through the curtain. Jonesy then took the time to make fun of this next entrant's running style.
"Wha-what is this?" Jonesy chuckled. "This guy runs like a weeble-wobble!"
"Maybe, but Randy Marsh is determined to go all the way in the Rumble!" J.R. exclaimed. "Can he go all the way?"
As soon as Randy got in the ring, the father of Stan Marsh looked inside the garbage can to find another Singapore Cane.
He pulled it out and started whacking whatever got in his way, starting with Heath, Flash, Monty, and Geoff!
"Whoa! Randy Marsh putting on a serious clinic here!" J.R. exclaimed.
"This old dude's is out of his mind!" Jonesy cried out.
He was out of his mind.
He still kept on whacking that Singapore Cane wherever he went. When Abbey tried to get her hands on Randy, the middle-aged man responded by whacking her in the hoo-hah, and following it with a White Russian Leg Sweep!
"Oh good god almighty!" J.R. cringed heavily.
"Abbey just received the worst end of that cane!" Jonesy cringed as well.
"Followed by a White Russian Leg Sweep," J.R. nodded. "That might have lessened Abbey's chances of winning this event!"
After Randy was finished with Abbey, he looked right over his shoulder and saw Sunset Shimmer giving Twilight Sparkle a 10-punch salute over the turnbuckle. Clutching that cane of his, Randy got himself an idea.
So he approached the twosome and caned Sunset Shimmer in the back!
"Oh, geez! That stings!" Jonesy chuckled out of surprise.
"That's almost like getting whipped!" J.R. nodded in agreement.
While Sunset Shimmer held her back painfully, Twilight managed to capitalize by pushing Sunset over the top rope and onto the floor, eliminating her!
"Well, there goes Sunset!" Jonesy said, waving goodbye to Sunset.
"The sun has set on Sunset, because she's out of here for good!" J.R. replied.
24th Eliminated: Sunset Shimmer; Eliminated by: Twilight Sparkle; Duration: 7:28
Angrily, Sunset tried her best to get back in the ring, but unfortunately, she had no choice but to go back due to the officials.
After Sunset's departure, Flash Sentry and Heath Burns were busy trying to eliminate Brock Samson from this rumble. Unlucky for them, Brock Samson had strong upper arms, which forced him to keep his balance perfectly on the middle and lower ropes.
"Uh-oh, Brock Samson could be eliminated here!" J.R. cried out.
"I guarantee Heath and his brother are gonna need a lot more help than that." Jonesy nodded.
"For the last time... FLASH SENTRY IS NOT HEATH BURNS'S BROTHER!" J.R. screamed at Jonesy.
"Well, excuuuuuuuse meeeeeee!" Jonesy shot back annoyingly.
But before they could get the job done, Geoff suddenly grabbed Heath by his legs and lifted them up...
...
...
...only to kick Heath right in the fruit basket!
"Oh, man! That ain't good!" Jonesy cringed a bit.
"Geoff borrowing a page from former WWE Hardcore Champion Hardcore Holly!" J.R. pointed out.
"Why is everyone getting kicked in the balls?" Jonesy raised an eyebrow. "I don't fricking get it!"
While Heath clutched into his groin, Spectra Vondergeist and Monty Monogram were at the turnbuckle, brawling it out.
But it wasn't until Spectra began to wrangle Monty's arm. She grabbed it and started to ascend to the top rope. Still holding on Monty's arm, Spectra began walking around the ropes like a tight-rope, hoping not to fall on the outside floor. That brought lots of 'Ooh's' and 'Ahh's' from the crowd.
"Spectra's looking to go Old School here!" J.R. chuckled.
"You think that freak is Undertaker's daughter?" Jonesy raised an eyebrow.
"I wouldn't know to be exact..." J.R. muttered.
After her little walk on the ropes, Spectra leaped up...
...
...
...and hit Monty Monogram with a sick tornado DDT!
"Good god," Jonesy shouted in panic. "How in the holy hell did Spectra pull that off?"
"That move almost came close to breaking Monty's neck," J.R. cringed again. "Maybe his career!"
While Monty was laid out unconscious, the Rumble clock appeared on the titantron, which forced the entire LA crowd to anticipate number 35's entrance.
"Who's the next entrant in the Cartoon Royal Rumble?" J.R. replied.
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #35: Duncan (Total Drama)
With the horn going off, a green-haired punk with multiple piercings and a skull emblazoned on his shirt, made his way to the ring with a standing ovation from the crowd.
"You know what they say, J.R.," Jonesy paused for a bit. "Business has just picked up!"
"I definitely agree! It's Duncan from the 'Total Drama' series!" J.R. exclaimed.
"I hope he eliminates one of the freaks from Monster High," Jonesy chuckled. "They totally deserve it!"
As Duncan got inside the ring, Randy tried to strike him down with the Singapore Cane, but Duncan managed to grab it. From there, the punk and the middle aged man began to have a little tug-of-war over it.
"Well, look at this face-off!" J.R. replied.
"It's almost like two dogs fighting and chewing each other like a piece of meat!" Jonesy exclaimed, feeling the suspense of this encounter.
After 10 seconds of fighting over the cane, Duncan kicked Randy in the ribs, which forced Randy to lose the cane.
In response, Duncan catched the cane, and whacked Randy over in the head!
"It seems Duncan won that battle!" J.R. clearly pointed out.
"But will he go a long way of winning the war?" Jonesy raised an eyebrow suspensefully.
Meanwhile, Duncan put down the singapore cane and catched his eye at Heath Burns.
Like an olympic sprinter, Duncan ran over to the flame-bringer's face with his knee via Shining Wizard! And after that, Duncan followed it up with a running bulldog!
"That firey freak got a taste of the mat!" Jonesy chuckled.
"Duncan is so far tearing it up in the Rumble!" J.R. nodded out. "Who's gonna be next for him?"
Before Duncan could catch his breath, he turned around...
...only to eat a double superkick from Frankie and Abbey!
"Maybe a dentist, because he got his teeth knocked out!" Jonesy chuckled again.
"Incredible maneuver from Frankie and Abbey!" J.R. said, being so impressed.
Frankie and Abbey then replied with a high-five and raising their arms to the crowd in victory.
But suddenly...
...
...
...Frankie grabbed Abbey by her dress and tossed her over the top rope and onto the floor! Somehow, the fans and commentators were in shock!
"WHA! MY GAWD! FRANKIE JUST ELIMINATED ABBEY!" J.R. shouted.
"You gotta be kidding me!" Jonesy replied breathlessly.
"Believe it! Abbey's been eliminated by her best friend!" J.R. nodded.
25th Eliminated: Abbey Bominable; Eliminated by: Frankie Stein; Duration: 19:32
Abbey was in complete shock of her elimination. She felt like her heart was stabbed by a good friend.
Frustrated, she walked up the aisle. But before she could walk backstage, she saw J.R. and Jonesy sitting at the announce table.
"That freak must be frustrated," Jonesy chuckled. "She could go back to her igloo where she belongs with the other freaks."
Hearing Jonesy call her a freak, Abbey approached Jonesy at the announce table...
...
...
...where she totally shoved him out of his chair!
"ACK!" Jonesy yelped. "What the hell's your problem, you freak?"
"You call me freak one time," Abbey said, shouting at Jonesy. "And I freeze balls off!"
After that little warning, Abbey finally went away, much to Jonesy's relief.
"What's the matter with her?" Jonesy replied.
"Well, this wouldn't happen to you if you didn't keep calling every Monster High character 'freaks'!" J.R. spoke sternly.
"Well, excuse me for not knowing that any longer!" Jonesy shot back sarcastically.
While Jonesy dusted himself off, Twilight Sparkle and Spectra Vondergeist were busy double teaming Geoff. After surrounding him in the ropes with forearm shots, the two girls whipped him rope to rope.
As soon as they were about to give Geoff a double clothesline, the party boy ducked down and ran back...
...
...
...only to blast Twilight and Spectra with a single dropkick!
"Down goes the princess and gossip columnist!" J.R. exclaimed.
"Wait a minute," Jonesy acted confused. "That ghost freak is actually a gossip columnist?!"
"It's true," J.R. nodded. "Spectra is actually the Ghostly Gossip columnist at Monster High, where she tries to get a private look at the students of Monster High themselves."
"I have a life too," Jonesy complained. "Why doesn't that ghost freak come to my house, and talk about my life? It's more entertaining than having her talking to her freaky friends!"
While Twilight and Spectra were busy recovering from that dropkick, the Rumble clock showed, indicating another entrant was about to make his/her way.
J.R. exclaimed out loud, "Here comes number 36 making his way right now!"
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #36: Buster Bunny (Tiny Toon Adventures)
As the horn sounded, a miniature version of Bugs Bunny blasted through the curtain. He was like Bugs, except he was blue and wore a red shirt. This entrant instantly got a huge pop for his appearance.
"Whoa, did Bugs Bunny shrink?" Jonesy raised his eyebrow. "He looked much taller than person!"
"Um, actually... that's Buster Bunny from Tiny Toon Adventures." J.R. corrected him.
"What?" Jonesy's eyes popped out. "I'm not familiar with him at all!"
"Seriously," J.R. replied. "You really need to watch Tiny Toon Adventures more often..."
As Buster got inside the ring, he immediately went to work. Starting off with Monty Monogram, Buster hopped on Monty's back, flipped him over, and gave him a sunset flip powerbomb for good measure!
"Whoa! That rabbit flipped him over!" Jonesy said, feeling impressed by Buster.
"Hard to believe it was from someone named Monty!" J.R. nodded. "Reminds me of another 'Monty' we already know!" [1]
"Yeah, too bad I don't keep up with Tiny Toons to find out!" Jonesy exclaimed.
After that, Duncan and Heath Burns were busy tying-up with one another.
Buster suddenly ran up to them and as soon as Heath catapulted Buster to the air, the blue rabbit landed on Duncan's shoulders, performing an insane hurricanrana!
"Wow! A sick hurricanrana!" Jonesy cried out. "You don't see X-Division stars from TNA pull off something like this!"
"And Buster's doing it with the greatest of ease, it seems!" J.R. nodded.
While Buster was busy pumping the crowd up, Randy Marsh had Brock Samson tied up on the ropes. Brock tried to get out, but the leverage of the ropes was too strong enough for him to escape.
"Brock's trapped like a pet rat in a cage!" J.R. pointed out.
"This ain't gonna look good for Brock Samson!" Jonesy exclaimed.
While Brock was trying to get out, Randy Marsh fired away with punches to Brock's face. He gave him the ol' 10-punch salute. The fans counted along with each punch.
1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... 10!
After that was finished, Randy backed away from him, hoping to get the final blow!
"Uh-oh, it could be 'So long, Brock'!" Jonesy said with anticipation.
"Randy's winding up that arm!" J.R. nodded.
But before Randy could strike, Duncan dropkicked Randy straight into Brock, who lifted the middle aged man over the top rope and onto the floor, eliminating to a deafening applause.
"There goes Randy Marsh!" Jonesy exclaimed.
"One dropkick from Duncan ends Randy's chances at victory!" J.R. replied.
26th Eliminated: Randy Marsh; Eliminated by: Brock Samson; Duration: 2:38
After Randy blew everyone off and went back up the aisle, Brock Samson took another deep breath.
Meanwhile, as Frankie Stein and Spectra were busy trying to eliminate Buster Bunny from the turnbuckle, Monty Monogram, Flash Sentry, Heath Burns and Geoff all charged after a tired Brock Samson, in which they threw him over the top rope and onto the floor.
Brock's shocking elimination all brought out a mixed bag of cheers and boos.
"Wow, what a smart move!" Jonesy clapped in applause. "Brock Samson has been eliminated!"
"I can't believe it myself!" J.R. nodded. "And all it took was 4 guys to get the job done!"
"See ya later, Samson!" Jonesy waved goodbye at him.
27th Eliminated: Brock Samson; Eliminated by: Monty Monogram, Flash Sentry, Heath Burns & Geoff; Duration: 16:46
Despite him suddenly being eliminated, Brock Samson walked up the aisle to a standing ovation from the crowd, all because of his efforts.
After Samson's departure, the Rumble clock was displayed on the titantron, revealing the next entrant.
"Who's got number 37?" Jonesy raised an eyebrow. "This is gonna be awesome!"
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #37: Carl Brutananadilewski (Aqua Teen Hunger Force)
As the horn went off again, a fat overweight man with a gold necklace, a white wifebeater and a face that resembles much like Dennis Franz from "NYPD Blue", he ran through the aisle, ignoring the high-fives from fans.
"All right, Dennis Franz from NYPD Blue is in!" Jonesy celebrated.
"Um, Jonesy," J.R. muttered. "That's not Dennis Franz from NYPD Blue, that's Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force."
"Geez, I thought it looked so much like him..." Jonesy muttered.
As soon as Carl got inside the ring, he was greeted by a dropkick from Buster Bunny! The impact sent Carl over the top rope, but luckily, his feet remained on the apron.
"Oh man! Carl almost went out as soon as he got in!" Jonesy sighed in relief.
"That was almost suicide for Carl!" J.R. exclaimed.
While Carl finally managed to roll inside the ring, Frankie had Monty Monogram on the turnbuckle.
Knowing that Monty was groggy, Frankie decided to leap on his shoulders and turn him over for a hurricanrana...
...
...
...but Monty managed to lift her back with tremendous strength. Now holding Frankie on his shoulders, Monty had a stellar plan.
"Oh no, please tell me Monty's not gonna do this!" J.R. said, fearing for the worst.
"I'm afraid that's what on his mind, J.R...!" Jonesy said suspensefully.
With Frankie on his shoulders, Monty leaped from the second rope...
...
...
...and blasted a super powerbomb, slamming Frankie to the mat hard!
"Dear gawd, what an impact!" J.R. shrieked.
"Monty may have crushed that freak into a million pieces!" Jonesy shrieked, but out of happiness. "I love it! Everyone will stop at anything to win this Rumble!"
While Frankie was laid out unconscious, Carl tried his best to get his hand on somebody, namely Heath Burns.
As Carl laid a hand on the flame-bringer, Heath suddenly turned around...
...
...
...and blasted a fireball right on Carl's face, blinding him entirely!
"GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY, CARL'S FACE HAS BEEN BLINDED BY FIRE!" J.R. shrieked.
"That's a mighty good way to piss someone off, huh Carl?" Jonesy said, shouting at Carl from the announcer's table.
"I don't know how Carl can even continue like this!" J.R. cried out.
While Carl was screaming from the fire in his eyes, Duncan managed to body slam Monty Monogram on the mat. From there, he and Buster Bunny decided to team up.
"Looks like we've got something planned here!" Jonesy exclaimed.
"What on earth could Duncan and Buster be doing with Monty here?" J.R. raised an eyebrow.
As Monty was laid on the mat (no pun intended), the blue rabbit and the delienquent went to separate turnbuckles. Suddenly, the crowd stood up on their feet to see this high-risk, high-flying double team take place.
"This ain't gonna be good for Monty, I can tell!" J.R. exclaimed, cringing from the inside.
"That dude's gonna get steamrolled!" Jonesy chuckled.
But before Duncan and Buster could even fly in the air...
...
...
...Flash Sentry kicked Buster right in the head and Spectra pushed Duncan straight to the ropes, forcing his nuts to collide with the ropes!
"Oh gawd, Duncan wrecked himself on the ropes!" J.R. cringed. And so did the fans.
"I think Duncan may need to re-stitch his balls because of that!" Jonesy chuckled.
While Duncan was forced to rehabilitate himself on the mat, Twilight Sparkle managed to hop on Frankie Stein's back on the turnbuckle. Like a spider, Twilight Sparkle managed to bend her body a bit and trap Frankie in a Rope Stretch Chicken Wing!
"Incredible move by Twilight Sparkle," J.R. replied. "Channeling a little bit of CM Punk here!"
"Imagine being in that freak's shoes right now," Jonesy pointed out. "A hold like that can lose a shoulder, hell perhaps your entire neck!"
"I hear ya on that!" J.R. nodded.
As Frankie was trying to break free from Twilight's grasp, and Carl struggling to see because of the fire in his eyes, the Rumble clock appeared. Suddenly an indication of the next entrant waiting to appear.
"Okay, we've got number 38th on the way!" Jonesy exclaimed. "I'm so excited I can burst."
The crowd patiently awaited number 38th's entrance. Whoever it was, he/she was gonna have her hands full.
Okay, now that we have another chapter out of the way, let's take a look at some stats, shall we?
Entrants still in the ring: Buster Bunny, Carl Brutananadilewski, Duncan, Flash Sentry, Frankie Stein, Geoff, Heath Burns, Monty Monogram, Spectra Vondergeist and Twilight Sparkle
Eliminated so far: Buford Van Stomm, Beavis, Plucky Duck, Jonesy Garcia, Peter Griffin, Muscle Man, SpongeBob SquarePants,
Bubbles, Lightning, Timmy's Dad, Timmy Turner, George Liquor American, Homer Simpson, Edd, Chris, Sam, Dan, Spike, The Great And Powerful Trixie, Phineas Flynn, Uncle Ruckus, Stewie Griffin, Butt-Head, Sunset Shimmer, Abbey Bominable, Randy Marsh and Brock Samson
[1] - The reference J.R. made was a reference to Tiny Toon Adventures bad guy Montana Max, better known as "Monty" for short.
Who will number 38 be? And how long has Geoff lasted so far? Will the party boy able to pull off a Ric Flair-like performance? Find out next chapter! Until then, keep on rockin'!