Author's note: I knew you guys would get a kick out of that bit with Jazz. I actually had to step away from the computer for a moment after writing it. :b
This chapter was not supposed to be this long. The same thing happened when Danny talked to Brandan. Something about Brandan gets me writing a lot. And this was so much harder than Danny's session. I hope it's acceptable to you guys since I'm not really sure how I feel about it, but I had to stop delaying this...
(after being) Disparaged
Maddie closely examined the vials before her at eye level. In addition to replacing the cancellation serum that she was convinced Phantom somehow stole, she had been working on different strains of the original solution, strains that could isolate specific ghostly molecular changes. In particular, she wanted to create a solution that would halt all ghostly molecular changes except for the inherently spectral ability to heal quickly and efficiently. She had yet to try it out on a real ghost, but she was fairly positive it would work. Now she and Jack would be able to keep ghostly specimens for longer periods of time, preventing them from becoming intangible or invisible or otherwise transforming but still allowing them to heal rapidly for further experimentation.
Actually, she had created this new strain specifically with Phantom in mind.
But there was no way she was going to tell Jack that now.
She could hear him, feel him working behind her a short distance away in their basement lab. To his credit, he had been acting completely normal. He had even given her his routine morning kiss in the kitchen like he always did. He wasn't avoiding her or showing the least bit of moody resentment that she had chosen to go out last night rather than stay with him. It was as if the incident had never happened.
But it had happened. And him acting so cheerful and sweet as usual was distressing to Maddie because she knew that he was just trying to mask it. That was so often Jack's solution to dealing with his pain: ignore it, and it would subside on its own.
She knew that was unhealthy. They had ignored what had been going on with their son, and look what became of that!
But that didn't make her any keener to talk over this particular pain with Jack. It was just so much easier to play right along with him and ignore it.
Her cell phone rang. She unhooked it from her belt and looked at the Caller ID.
"It's Brandan." She turned to Jack.
"Brandan?" Jack placed his goggles on his head.
Maddie nodded and accepted the call as she walked over to him. She held the phone between them so that Jack could hear. "Hey, Brandan."
"Maddie, hello! How are you?" came Brandan's cheerily polite voice.
"I'm great. You're on speaker-phone with Jack, too."
"Hey, Brandan," said Jack.
"Hey there, Jack!"
"So what can we do for you?" asked Maddie. "I'm assuming this is about Danny?"
"Ah, well…yes and no. I actually had someone cancel today, so I was wondering if you'd be able to meet with me at my office in about an hour?"
Maddie glanced at Jack, who nodded with a small shrug. "We could do that, sure."
"Well…I'd actually just like to meet with you, Maddie."
Maddie and Jack both exchanged confused frowns. "Just me?" she clarified warily.
"Yes. I'd like to meet with both of you individually, and I just thought maybe I could speak with you first? Today if possible?"
Maddie looked at Jack. He only shrugged.
"That's fine," said Maddie. "I can come in today."
"Great. And Jack, maybe you and I can talk later this week? I think I have some time on Thursday. I'll check."
"That would be fine. I could do anytime on Thursday. Let Maddie know," said Jack.
"Perfect. So I'll see you in a bit, then, Maddie?"
"Sure thing. See you." Maddie disconnected the call. She stared down at her phone for some time.
"He seems pretty thorough," said Jack at last. "But I guess that's what we wanted, right?"
"Indeed. I had a good feeling about him when I picked him." Maddie reattached the cell phone to her belt. "I guess I should get ready to see him." She started to climb the stairs out of the basement.
"Do you want me to go with you?"
Maddie turned back to Jack. "Go with me?"
"Well, yeah. I could drive you there and then just wait for you."
Jack gazed up at her. Was this some sort of test? What did he want her to say? Did he even really want to go with her?
Did she want him to come with her?
"I'll be fine," she said. "Don't you have work to finish up here?"
Jack turned around to look at his scrawled notes and his latest but still unfinished invention.
"But when I get back, how about we go out for lunch?" offered Maddie with a warm smile.
Jack returned the smile. "It's a date," he said quietly.
Maddie gave him a small wave and exited the basement, continuing all the way to their bedroom. She looked down at herself. New jumpsuit, definitely. This one already had a couple stains from her morning's work. And she definitely had to wear a jumpsuit and not normal clothes because she had to be ready for any time Phantom—no, any time any ghosts appeared. And make-up? Also definitely. She hadn't put on any yet. She also needed to brush her hair, maybe spritz some shine spray on it. And perfume. Which fragrance would be best? Brandan seemed like a plum and freesia kind of guy.
When she was once again in the living room and about to head out, she glanced at the door leading to the basement, imagining Jack hard at work on something like he always was.
She loved that man. Truly. With all her heart. He was the only man she had ever been involved with who valued her for her heart and mind and soul and not just her body. He made her laugh, and he made her cry. Apart from her children, he was the only one worth hurting over. It pained her so that she had made him doubt that. She had to make it up to him somehow.
Their lunch date. Perfect opportunity. She could worry about it then. For now, she needed to be focused.
She checked herself one last time in the mirror by the front door before grabbing her ghost-hunting gear and heading toward Brandan's office.
In the waiting area, Brandan held out a friendly hand to her. "Maddie, thanks for coming in on such short notice."
"It was no problem," said Maddie, holding back a blush to the best of her ability. How did he manage to get his golden locks to be so perfectly coiffed and fluffy? They looked even better in person than in his photo she saw when she was searching for a good therapist.
He led the way to his office. Maddie took a seat on the couch.
"Hang on. It's kind of cold in here, don't you think?" Brandan pressed a couple of buttons on the thermostat in the room.
"It feels fine to me," said Maddie.
"Ah, well, let me know if you'd like me to turn it back down." Brandan pulled over his office chair and sat across from her. He clasped his hands and smiled at her pleasantly.
"So, you talked to Danny yesterday. How was that?" asked Maddie. "I mean, I just noticed he seemed a little…down after talking to you. Did it go okay?"
"I got to know him a little. We actually got a little further than I would've expected us to, but I have a pretty good idea of where to go from here with him."
"But why did he seem so down afterwards? Is that normal?"
"We just talked about some things that I think brought some things to light that he hadn't been expecting. Things I hadn't been expecting either, honestly."
"Things like what?"
Brandan hesitated with an apologetic smile. "I cannot tell you any specifics."
Maddie nodded. Of course. She remembered discussing terms of disclosure with Brandan. As much as she longed to know exactly what Danny and Brandan had talked about, she knew that it was best if Danny felt he could confide in Brandan without fear of anything being repeated to his parents.
"But I can give you a quick general report if you'd like," said Brandan. "I am confident that I can help Danny work through some things, and I think that he could respond very well to cognitive behavioral therapy. I also think that he and I would be a good match. Overall, he seemed receptive to my technique, and he seemed to grasp the concepts and ideas I was presenting to him without much difficulty."
"That's great to hear," said Maddie with relief.
"He is as you say: mild-mannered, acquiescent. Not the typical teen I'm used to working with. But he certainly has his own spirit and his own mind." Brandan spoke with something that sounded like fondness. "I am actually looking forward to meeting with him more, getting to know him on a deeper level."
"That's wonderful. He really is a good kid. I feel so blessed to have him in my life."
"As you should."
"Anything else? Do you have any recommendations as to what Jack and I should be doing for him at home? We're still not sure what to do about his friend, Sam, the one who gave him the narcotics in the first place."
"Well, I didn't get a chance to talk with him about Sam, but I really don't want to say anything definitive about that without knowing more. Cutting off a teen from a good friend is not a decision to be made lightly. It can be really damaging. So without knowing more about his relationship with her and exactly what her role has been in his use of narcotics, I alone don't want to be making that call. If indeed she was the one who introduced these drugs to him and has been his sole provider, then I would say absolutely, his interaction with her should be either limited or cut off altogether."
"I admit that I don't know the whole story concerning Sam's involvement."
"Have you spoken to her parents?"
"No." Maddie crossed her legs in discomfort. "I keep putting it off. I know I need to just get it done, but…I don't know. I have so much going on with Danny. I kind of just wanted to get these consults out of the way first, you know?"
"Understandable," said Brandan, "but I urge you to call her parents as soon as possible. Work out something with them, come to an agreement about the interaction you want your children to be having. Let me know what you decide, what more you find out, and then I can give you a better recommendation. I'll also try to talk to Danny a little more about it to get a better idea about his relationship with her and how it might affect him if he were no longer allowed to see her."
"He'd be devastated," said Maddie softly. "He has such a crush on her."
Brandan didn't speak for a moment. "That always makes it so much more difficult. I hate making calls like that. But love, especially young love, has a tendency to really overcomplicate and dramatize situations like this."
His left hand graced the side of his face as he sighed and thought and mulled. Maddie watched him, noticed that there was no ring on his left hand. But how was that even possible? How had he not been snatched up already? "Are you not married, Brandan?"
Brandan blinked in surprise, then followed her gaze to his left hand. He held it out before him somewhat sadly. "Ah, um…recently divorced, actually."
"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that," said Maddie, embarrassed for asking.
"It's all right. I've been working through it." He crossed his arms and looked down with poignant amusement. "Like I said before, everyone in this world needs therapy for something. I am certainly no exception."
Maddie observed him. This moment of human openness from someone who looked as godly as he did was strangely…well, it was strangely something to her. It definitely stirred something in her.
"But we're not here to talk about me." Brandan moved in a bit closer to Maddie. "We're here to talk about you."
"Me?" Maddie could feel warmth building in her chest and rising to her neck. The way he said that, the way he seemed eager to talk about her. "You mean Danny, right?"
"Well, you in relation to Danny," clarified Brandan. "I'd like to talk about how you're dealing with all of this and what you can do to assist with his treatment."
"I'll be taking him to a detox consultation after school today."
Brandan smiled. "And that's great. I'd like to know what they decide to do for him." Brandan shifted his weight. "But I mean...assist him in terms of how you interact with him, how you perceive his struggles, how you cope with both his progress and his failures. Since he's living with you, the environment you create for him in your home is going to greatly influence the success of his treatment."
"Makes sense."
"Danny is of course our focus, but we don't want him to feel as if all of the pressure is on him. It's important for him to see you and Jack working just as hard right along with him. And with someone as…sensitive as Danny, we don't want him to feel as if everything is dependent on how well he does, that we're placing this huge burden on him that he must carry himself. That can really create a lot of resentment." Brandan paused. "Although after talking to Danny, I imagine he wouldn't be the type to resent you two for putting him through this. Rather, I think he'd put all of the blame on himself, would put himself at one hundred percent fault for everything."
Maddie lowered her eyes with a small nod. That conclusion did not surprise her.
"We don't want him to feel that way. I plan on working with him on any feelings of self-blame, but it's going to take concerted effort from both you and Jack as well."
"Of course," said Maddie. "We'll do whatever it takes."
Brandan nodded his approval. His eyes moved to the bag that was beside her. "So…how has ghost-hunting been going for you?"
Maddie also looked down at the bag. "Oh. Well, I haven't been doing too much of it lately for obvious reasons, but I did actually go out last night." She reminisced about just how good the night air felt as she searched the streets. "I found a couple ghosts."
"But I'm guessing not the one you were hoping to find?"
"Ah…which 'one' are you talking about?"
"Danny Phantom, of course. Isn't he the ghost everyone's after?"
Maddie chortled. Indeed, Phantom was number one on every ghost hunter's hit list. But she was the only one who really deserved him, the only one worthy of having him. She wasn't going to let anyone steal him from her.
"He hasn't been around lately, has he?" noted Brandan. "I read something online about that, people wondering where he's been."
"He'll be back," said Maddie definitively. Perhaps she had scared him into hiding for the time being. The idea of Phantom actually being afraid of her was an intoxicating one that made her feel powerful. "It's his obsession to win the love of this town with his heroics. He'll definitely be back for that. He literally can't resist."
"His obsession?" Brandan leaned forward.
"Mmm hmm. All ghosts have their own obsessions." Maddie also leaned forward, eager to share all of her ghost-related knowledge. "Each ghost has their own individual desire, a desire so strong that it is all they can focus on. They will do anything and everything to obtain it. For those who once had an earthly biological existence, it is typically related to some unfulfilled yearning they had before they died."
"Are you saying that not all ghosts had an earthly biological existence?"
"Jack and I have seen ghosts reproduce. Some ghosts really are just born that way. But most seem to be an imprint of a past being, human or animal."
"Does every living being become a ghost upon death?"
"No. From what Jack and I have gathered, only those who have met an untimely or unfortunate end typically become ghosts. Those are the ones to most likely feel 'unfulfilled' when they die."
"And what about Phantom? If he had a biological existence before, what do you think his 'unfulfilled yearning' was?"
"Well, unfortunately, even if I were to try to ask him directly, there's simply no way for me to know for sure. Ghosts don't have memory of their past lives." Maddie gazed out the window in thought. "But if I had to guess based on his obsession to win this town over, I'd have to hypothesize that he was once someone who felt powerless, useless, and undeserving."
Brandan made no reply, but Maddie could see him frowning in thought.
"As to why he's so fixated on our town, I have no idea," continued Maddie. "Perhaps he lived here once. Or perhaps this was the first town he stumbled upon when he finally broke out of the Ghost Zone."
"What makes him so interesting to all of you?" asked Brandan. "What makes him different from all of the other ghosts? Why is every ghost hunter after him?" He looked her straight in the eye. "Why are you after him?"
Maddie could feel that warmth building again. "Where to even start? Well, for one, he was the first ghost I ever saw. Jack and I had been studying ghosts for years and were about ready to give up since we still hadn't seen one and the ridicule was starting to be a bit much for us. But then he—Phantom—suddenly showed up. I mean, that…you have no idea. That was huge. And then after that, tons of ghosts started appearing, so many ghosts for Jack and me to study and dissect. But Phantom…he just didn't seem like the other ghosts. There are plenty of other humanoid ghosts, a couple that Jack and I have even managed to get our hands on, but Phantom strangely seems more human."
"Humanoid. Is that noteworthy for a ghost?"
"Well, humanoid ghosts are likely the imprints of real biological humans who once existed, so yes, those are most interesting to us. But it's as if Phantom retained more of his humanity than other ghosts. Now some might think that that's because he actually does have some humanity, but as a ghost researcher, I can confidently tell you that it's all a façade. It helps him fulfill the requirements of his obsession which is why he's become so good at it. And it definitely works. So many in this town love him! Like a celebrity." Maddie smirked. "Not to mention that he looks more human than other humanoid ghosts."
"How do you mean?"
"Well, his skin tone is a human color. Most ghosts have a blue, green, or grey tinge, but he actually looks a little tanned. But then he's got this exotic white hair and these glowing eyes to show us that he's still something not quite human, and so we're led to think of him as being superhuman. I mean, even his jumpsuit and logo are your typical superhero savoir faire! As if he's been studying exactly the sort of thing we adore and worship in our culture, reading our comics, watching our movies. And his physique."
That same warmth was now turning into heat.
"Like, he's actually changed and grown since I first saw him a year and a half ago. He's actually becoming this…perfect specimen of masculinity."
His thickening neck, his widening shoulders, the athletic tightening of his back, the swelling of his muscles as they stretched out the fabric of his suit, the play of his eyebrows as he unflinchingly stared down an enemy.
"And why is that? Why has he been developing in such a way? Why is he becoming something that can also be attractive to humans? Is it just coincidence, or is it somehow related to his ghostly obsession? Can ghostly obsession control outward appearance in that way? Is his obsession to be adored by our town allowing him to become an object of adoration both inside and out?"
Maddie tugged at the zipper of her jumpsuit.
"I had him once, you know," she said with a low, faraway tone. "About a week ago, last Wednesday night. I forced him to his knees and pressed a gun against his head. He was all mine in that moment. Only mine."
She lowered her zipper just a little and leaned her head back, pushing hair away from her face with a sigh.
"Are you okay? Are you hot?" asked Brandan.
"Just a little."
Brandan stood and moved to the thermostat. Maddie watched him, observed the strength in the stride of his long legs, the lines of his short sleeves around his toned biceps, the material of his polo shirt pressed against his robust chest.
"I'm sorry, Maddie. I didn't mean to turn you on."
Maddie blinked, swallowed, lowered her zipper a little more. "What?"
"I didn't mean to turn the heat on." Brandan returned to his office chair. "Sorry about that. It should cool down soon."
Maddie swallowed again and looked down in an attempt to hide her flushed face.
"So, clearly, you're quite fascinated with Phantom," said Brandan. "I mean, everyone is, but as a ghost researcher, he is particularly remarkable to you."
"Yes." Maddie pressed her lips together and raised her zipper.
"And it is quite the coincidence that he has the same first name as your son."
Maddie smirked. "Well, that's an interesting segue to get back to the topic of my son."
Brandan laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Ah, well…there is kind of a reason for that. The reason I asked you about Phantom is because…I would like you to think about how your work could affect Danny, especially during his treatment."
Maddie knitted her brow and crossed her arms as she waited for him to continue.
"You have such passion for catching Phantom. That is very evident to me. And your passion is based on such strong fascination and curiosity."
"Well, no," interrupted Maddie, suddenly feeling the need to defend herself. "I mean, yes, he's the most fascinating ghost I've encountered, but that's not the only reason I want to catch him. I mean, he's still a threat to the town. Not that I think he's evil, but a ghost is a ghost. He can't reason through his obsession which could certainly create dangerous repercussions for the people of this town." Maddie nodded to herself. "It'd be better for everyone if he were taken off the streets. You know, like locking up a dangerous animal. Not because that animal is evil; just because it'd be safer for everyone. And I just think that I should be the one to study him seeing as I am a pioneer in ghost research."
Brandan smiled kindly. "And I certainly wouldn't argue with that. But you must agree that you have great passion for your work? The fact that you stuck with it for so long despite all of the ridicule and lack of proof that ghosts even existed shows just how dedicated you are and always have been. And as a well-educated scientist, you must have a great thirst for knowledge. Would I be correct in saying that?"
"Well…yes, I can't possibly say no to that."
"And would you say you've always been that way? Have you always had a desire to learn and to discover? To figure out how the world around you works?"
Maddie switched the position of her legs, alternating which leg was crossed over the other. These questions were not at all rude or even very personal, but they still felt strangely accusatory. "Of course. Always. Since I was a little girl. I was never satisfied when I would ask questions and someone would respond with 'I don't know.' I was always determined to find the answer. I couldn't rest until I did find it."
"And is that limited to just your work and research?"
"What do you mean?"
"You have the mind of a scientist, right? You want to understand the workings of the world, its chemistry and physics and biology. And you want to understand what is beyond the world, or maybe it'd be more accurate to say what is on the alternate plane of this world?" Brandan glanced to the side. "I admit that I have no idea in what kind of existence ghosts reside, so please forgive me if my terminology is incorrect."
"No, no, that's a fine way to think of it. The Ghost Zone is a dimension alternate to ours. It coexists with our world."
"All right. So you have indicated your great desire to learn everything about all of that." Brandan paused. "But what about other areas not related to your research? Do you have a desire to know everything about politics? Or history? Or other academic subjects and disciplines? Or what's going on in your community?"
Maddie shrugged. "Depends, I guess."
"Depends on what?"
"Depends on how much I enjoy learning about a particular subject and how much it relates to my interests. I know enough about politics and history and other areas to keep me informed and up-to-date, but I reserve most of my energy for what is relevant to my interests."
"And what are your interests?"
"Well, like we've discussed, my ghost-related work and research."
"And what about interests outside of that? Surely you have others?"
Maddie leaned back and looked up at the ceiling. "You mean like hobbies? Or…? Is there a specific answer you're looking for?" Maddie looked at Brandan again. "I feel as if you're wanting me to say something in particular."
Brandan smiled warmly. "What about your family?"
Maddie chewed the inside of her cheek. "My family?"
"Yes. Your family is an interest of yours, right?"
"Well…of course."
"And just as with your research, you want to know everything that is going on with your family, right? You want to know how they're doing, what they need, what more you can do for them."
"Of course. Yes. I love them. I want to maintain closeness with them."
"And if you feel something is not right, if you feel a member of your family is struggling with something, you want to help him or her, correct?"
"Yes…" Maddie continued to answer, but these questions felt far more like statements, and she only continued to respond to show that she was listening and that she understood.
"And how far do you go to help your family? How far do you delve into their lives to figure out exactly what it is that they are struggling with?"
"I…as far as I have to," said Maddie, almost incredulously. Wasn't that what any normal mother would do? "I can't just let someone in my family suffer. I mean, when it became clear to me that Danny was hiding something that was really hurting him, I just had to…" She trailed off.
Brandan nodded. "We'll get back to Danny in a moment. I just want you, if you can, to link this back to your passion for your work. You seem to have a tendency to get very focused on a particular problem, and you won't rest until you solve it or at least understand it. Is that true in your research?"
"Yes," rasped Maddie. She had always prided herself on her tenacity in her research, on her fierce dedication and motivation, but Brandan was making her feel somewhat ashamed of it.
"And would you say that that same focus carries over to how you try to care for your family as well? When someone is struggling with a problem, you won't rest until you solve it or at least understand it?"
"Is that bad?" Maddie tried to fight back a glare, but the creeping implication of these questions was getting under her skin.
Brandan paused and carefully shook his head. "No, of course not. It's great that you care so much about your family, that you are so invested in their well-being."
"Well, if I hadn't been that way, I would've never discovered Danny's abuse of painkillers," said Maddie ardently. "My persistent effort and focus was what allowed me to finally figure it out."
"But have you thought about how that persistent scrutiny has been making Danny feel? How it might affect him even now?"
Maddie could not hold back a glare this time. "What are you talking about?"
"Have you thought about how he's feeling? Really feeling? Or have you just been focused on how you can solve this apparent problem he has?"
"Of course I've thought about how he's feeling. It's why I want to help him. I don't want him to hurt anymore. I don't want him to think he has to use drugs to alleviate his pain."
"Yes, I can see you want to help him. But do you think that focusing on the problem of his abuse of painkillers is going to fix everything going on with him?"
"Well, obviously, there are underlying causes." Maddie narrowed her eyes. "That's why I sought out a therapist for him, to help him with those underlying causes."
Brandan held up his hands. "All right, all right. But how would your describe your recent interactions with Danny? Have they been focused on the problems you perceive going on in his life right now?"
"Well, yes, of course, but that's because they need attention right now." Maddie scoffed. "I mean, right? I can't just ignore them right now, can I?"
What was this guy trying to get at? It was as if he was implying that she should not have been so intrusive in Danny's life. But what kind of parent would she have been if she had not investigated the situation so thoroughly?
Brandan sighed and leaned over, clasping his hands between his knees. "All right, well, let's go back to Phantom briefly."
"Phantom? Why? What does he have to do with Danny?"
"Please, just hear me out. I just want to use an example that isn't Danny. Perhaps that will make it easier to understand." Brandan tapped his fingers together, stalling for a small moment. "When you are studying Phantom and attempting to catch him, what is he to you? Is he a person?"
"Of course not. He's a ghost."
"So you are not concerned with his feelings or his personhood?"
"He doesn't have either of those things," said Maddie irritably. "He's a ghost."
"Is it frustrating to you that you have been unable to catch him? Is that why you've become even more determined, bringing around hunting equipment wherever you go so that you can be ready for him?"
"Yes." Maddie rolled her eyes. "Seriously, what is your point?"
Brandan hesitated. "I'm getting there."
Maddie exhaled and leaned back into the couch with crossed arms. After her heated discussion with Jack the night before about her strong desire for Phantom, she didn't appreciate this guy beginning to suggest the same thing.
"You don't see Phantom as a person. Do you see him as…an obstacle?"
Maddie blinked and did not say anything for a moment. "An obstacle?"
"Yes. Do you see him as an obstacle that is preventing your research from progressing? Is he an obstacle that is affecting other areas of your life?"
Phantom. He was all she could think about lately.
Her first ghost. Surely some sort of missing link. If she could just strap him down to her observation table, she'd surely learn everything she needed to fully understand ghosts. And she'd be forever revered for her contributions to the paranormal field.
Her first ghost. She could never forget her first glance her first encounter her first time her first touch—
The first time she actually touched him, pulling his hair and forcing his head back, the way he completely submitted to her without complaint but with such silent and tremulous surrender.
To have control over a being usually so powerful. She had won him that night, her prize after her tireless endeavors. He was all hers, and he knew it just as well as she did.
The obstacle at last surmounted—
And then he slipped away from her!
When Jack was on top of her just last night, on their bed, his affections traveling up and down her body, his image crept into her mind—
WHY?!
And Jack was so upset with her for wanting to go out to hunt him.
Yes oh yes Phantom was an obstacle that needed to be overcome, and if she could just capture him already, everything would be fine again. Her relationship with Jack would go back to normal, and she could finally do everything she had been wanting to do to Phantom for so long. No more obstacles. She would become his obstacle instead, an obstacle that would be impossible for him to get past, the one enemy he would never be able to defeat.
"Maddie?"
Brandan's voice brought her back to attention. Maddie gazed at him somewhat vacantly, her mind still caught up with thoughts of Phantom.
"You see him as an obstacle, correct?"
Maddie nodded.
"It's actually a very common thing for people to do," said Brandan delicately. "We are naturally very self-centered, and we don't readily recognize that the people around us are just as complex and as real as we are. We tend to see everyone around us as an obstacle. If someone cuts us off while driving, we are quick to think that person is inconsiderate or unintelligent. We see that person as an irritant and not as a person who perhaps had a reason for cutting us off that we can't imagine. Perhaps that person is a new driver. Perhaps that person really didn't mean to and feels absolutely terrible about it but has no way to apologize to you. Perhaps that person is speeding to the hospital to see a loved one who is in bad condition."
"Or that person really could just be a jerk," offered Maddie testily.
"Yes, of course. But how can we really know for sure? When we start thinking of others not as obstacles but as real people with just as complex thought processes and lives as our own, we are able to form better understandings of and better relationships with those around us."
Maddie snorted in dark amusement. "I don't get it. Are you trying to say I should see Phantom as a person? Because let me reiterate that he is not a person. He's a ghost."
"No, no. This isn't about Phantom," said Brandan quickly. "I was just using him as an example, one that you could easily relate to. I want to bring this back to Danny."
"I don't see Danny as an obstacle," said Maddie coldly. "He's my son, and I love him. He's absolutely a person to me."
"But do you see his struggles as an obstacle?"
Maddie frowned. "I don't know how to answer that. Isn't a struggle a type of obstacle? Nigh synonymous, even?"
"I am suggesting that you try to not focus so much on his struggles," said Brandan. "Instead of thinking of his use of painkillers as an obstacle that must be overcome, try to think instead how you can make him feel that there is nothing 'wrong' with him, that he is a valid person with valid feelings. Validate how he's feeling, and try to have interactions and conversations that are not at all focused on his use of painkillers or on any depression or anxiety unless he himself initiates it. Help him understand that there's nothing wrong with his feelings and that he should never try to fight off a feeling just because he believes it's what you want him to do, just because he believes it's why you're having him go through therapy and treatment in the first place. Pain and sadness aren't necessarily a bad thing. They're actually an important part of life. Help him see that his negative feelings don't have to be dulled with medication, that it's okay for him to feel pain and sadness."
"And what makes you think I haven't been doing that already?" asked Maddie coolly.
"I'm not making that assumption," said Brandan. "I just want you to keep it in mind. We can talk about it more in depth later. I have a great book, actually—"
"I don't need a book to tell me to be sensitive with my child."
"I just want you to know that viewing others and their problems as obstacles has a tendency to create hostility," said Brandan. "It's so important to validate the personhood of those around us. For instance, your perception of Phantom as an obstacle—"
"Why do you keep mentioning him?"
"—has created some negative feelings of resentment in you, yes? I can tell that you are frustrated that you have not caught him yet, and you don't want anyone else to have him. In fact, you see other ghost hunters as obstacles, too, obstacles that you have to beat out which is why you are carrying hunting equipment with you wherever you go."
"Seriously, what does this—?"
"You said that you almost caught Phantom." Brandan looked at her seriously. "You have actually interacted with him. A week ago, was it?"
"Yes," Maddie practically hissed.
"And how did that go? How did he respond to you?"
Maddie scoffed. "Well, he wasn't happy. I don't know what answer you're looking for."
"Was it a hostile interaction?"
"Yes. Of course. I wasn't trying to make friends with him. I was hunting him."
"You held him at gunpoint?"
Maddie shrugged. Why the hell did this guy care? "Yeah, I held him at gunpoint. I forced him down to his knees. He had no way to escape."
"Was he afraid?"
Maddie did not reply. The way Phantom shook and shut his eyes and sharply inhaled—yes, that was fear, or a very good imitation of it, anyway.
"All of that intense focus and targeting you were placing on him. Did you make him feel as if he had no choice, that if he tried to do anything to get away that there would be terrible consequences?"
"Yes. Of course. I had to keep him in line."
"And is it your desire to keep Danny in line?"
Maddie scowled at Brandan. What was this guy trying to imply?
"You have been focusing so much on Danny's issues. Have you thought about how it might be making him feel? Have you considered that he might be feeling the same way Phantom felt, that he has no choice, that if he makes any mistakes that there will be terrible consequences for him?"
Maddie threw up her hands. "Why are you comparing this to my dealings with Phantom? What are you trying to say?" She pinned him with a stern glare. "Do you think that I'm holding some sort of gun to my son's head? That I'm forcing him into submission with the threat of punishment if he doesn't comply?"
"I was just using Phantom as an example," said Brandan, almost pleadingly. "I just want you to think about how you perceive Danny's struggles and how you interact with him. It would be best to let him know that any relapses in his treatment are not going to be targeted, that you can accept them as part of the process and not as setbacks. You want him to feel comfortable enough with you that he won't be afraid of any mistakes he can and will make." Brandan paused and sighed. "You want him to feel safe with you."
Maddie's bottom lip moved up, her teeth gritting behind it as this final sentence seeped in. "Do you think he doesn't feel safe with me?" she asked in a low voice.
Brandan's expression changed just a little, one that looked defensive and apprehensive.
"What has he been telling you?" Maddie's eyes bore into Brandan. "Has he told you he feels unsafe with me?"
Brandan stalled by pulling in a deep breath. "I can't tell you what he and I talked about."
"I really think that's something I should know."
"Maddie, I really can't tell you one way or another. Please don't jump to conclusions like that. I am only trying to tell you how I think you can help Danny based on what I have come to understand about both of you and based on what I have seen work best in these situations."
"Well, I really don't appreciate you insinuating that I would use the same scare tactics on my son that I used on Phantom." Maddie was snarling now as she moved to the edge of the sofa seat. "Really, how dare you? Just what kind of mother do you think I am?"
"Maddie, I didn't say—"
"You didn't have to say it. I got your meaning." Maddie's breaths were coming in fast and sharp. "Are you even a parent yourself? Did you have kids before your wife left you?"
Brandan flinched before shaking his head. "I—no, I don't have children of my own."
"Then what makes you think you can tell me how to interact with my child? What makes you think you can give me any parental advice?"
"This isn't about parental advice. It's about seeing him as not only your child but also as a person—"
"And what makes you think I don't see him that way?"
"I'm not saying you don't. It's just that you've confirmed that there are others in your life that you don't see as people, others that you do in fact see as obstacles—"
"Like Phantom?" Maddie's eyes flashed in warning, daring him to affirm.
Brandan swallowed, leaned back in his chair, gripped his elbows. "I just want you to rethink how you view others. See them as people and not as obstacles. And yes, I think maybe that should include Phantom." Brandan averted his gaze, tapped his fingers against his arms. "And if you can do that, you'll see a lot of improvements in your relationships with others, most notably your son who really needs sincere validation and understanding right now."
Boiling intensity, raging and spilling over. Maddie jolted and rattled with offended irritation and fury. That this guy would even dare imply that she was scaring Danny into submission in the same way she had scared Phantom—
And he seriously thought that she should see Phantom as a person? That Phantom was somehow worthy of such recognition? Phantom was a simulation, nothing more than an apparitional object. In fact, the only reason she referred to him as a "he" rather than an "it" was because he presented himself as a member of the human male sex so well, too well, better than most men she encountered in her day-to-day life, so god damn him for being so god damn masculine and sensuous and arousing—
He still had a youthful appearance, yes, but damn it he was definitely growing and filling out and already looked so much like a man and at this rate if he kept growing he'd be way too—
None of that mattered. His outward appearance was surely linked to his ghostly obsession to be a hero, and she would confirm that once she got her hands on him—
On him and under him and all over him and inside him—
It was her work, her research. That was all. She was determined to uncover all of his secrets. He would reveal so much to her, would help her unravel so many mysteries of ghosts and the Ghost Zone that continued to evade her.
He could never be a person to her. And she didn't need to see Phantom as a person to see her son as one.
And god damn this therapist this guy this guy for thinking that her attitude toward Phantom could prevent her from giving her son the love and nurturing he needed.
Maddie abruptly stood, her gloved hands clenched as her glower drilled into Brandan fiercely. "You don't know what you're talking about. You don't know a thing about ghosts. You don't know a thing about me. You don't know a thing about my relationship with Danny. You think you're so smart because you have a degree and have worked with some kids, but you're trying to give me advice that you don't actually know anything about. Telling me to perceive a ghost as a person. Telling me that that is interfering with how I perceive Danny. Do you have any idea how stupid that sounds?" Maddie mockingly laughed. "No, you don't, because you've never fought any ghosts yourself, and you don't even have any kids of your own."
Brandan remained sitting and only looked up at her. His normally cool expression was replaced with stunned unease.
Maddie picked up her bag and narrowed her eyes down at him. "Well, I guess it's no mystery to me now why someone would divorce you."
She stormed out of the room with an angry sashay. She smugly smirked to herself as she recalled the way Brandan had looked. Such satisfaction to see that mixture of shock and hurt in his stupid handsome face.
Maddie glanced down at her bag of ghost-hunting gear. She could sure use something to take out all of this pent-up frustration and vexation on. One of her ghostly specimens already locked up at home would do for now. She had to do something to calm herself before she took Danny to his appointment later that afternoon. Right, so she could properly validate him as a person because she apparently wasn't doing a good job of that already.
She scanned the sky and the clouds for a supernatural glow that didn't belong. If it really was somehow all Phantom's fault that she wasn't giving Danny the validation he needed, then she would be sure to make that ghost pay for it.
(Oy, Maddie is vicious. And I know, Workparty, Creepy Maddie just keeps getting creepier and creepier. Phantom better watch his back.)