Author's note: I can see that the previous chapter made a lot of you uncomfortable. :b But apparently in a good way. So I shall carry on, wayward readers!

But wow, writing this alongside The End of Danny has permanently warped my view of Maddie. I can't watch the show without thinking of her in this creepy villainous way anymore. I hope I didn't ruin her for you guys? I just see her standing before a huge fireplace (or her ghost portal) singing, "Destroy Danny Phantom and let him taste the fires of hell. Or else let him be mine and mine alooooooone~"

(after being) Disparaged

The day passed for Danny as something like a dream as he tried his best to not think too much about anything. Not about what Brandan had said to him, not about his own mother wanting to detain and vivisect him, not about the tearing pain in his left arm and leg because he figured he should try to instead duplicate his non-dominant side. It had seemed like a sensible idea at the time, but now it was only a constant reminder that he still couldn't get it right. He tried to keep any limping to a minimum and stretched out his left arm whenever he got a chance.

If he could just take something, anything to dull this pain.

Was it supposed to hurt this much? Who could he possibly ask? Vlad or some other ghost?

(Did it actually hurt this much? Was he somehow imagining it?)

Sam and Tucker had been trying to talk to and interact with him all day, but he could only give short answers and slight shakes of his head to indicate that he was not in the mood. They eventually gave up and soundlessly remained by his side throughout the day. Talking about this wasn't going to help. Talking had gotten him into this particular state in the first place, and that was supposed to be therapy. Therapy was supposed to help him.

But talking and therapy and all the treatment in the world that his mother had planned for him couldn't possibly help because there was no way he could ever tell anyone the real problem.

Lancer had paused by his desk during English. Danny kept his head down and pretended not to notice, pretended to be suddenly very busy and hard at work on the assignment that had been given, but he could feel the older man peering down at him, perhaps remembering the uncontrollable fit of laughter that had seized him just twenty-four hours earlier, perhaps wondering why he was suddenly so disconsolate again. Danny propped an elbow on his desk and leaned his head in his hand to further separate himself from Lancer, a wall to show the teacher that yes he was closed off and no he didn't want to talk so please don't talk to him please just walk on by.

But part of him wanted to jump up and grab the older man's arms and yell at him and anyone else who would listen, "My mom almost killed me and she still wants to kill me and I don't understand why!"

But of course that would accomplish nothing. So he remained silent and avoidant and waited for the teacher to move on.

And now as he sat in the passenger's seat of Jazz's car, he was grateful for the silence, grateful that Jazz was not trying to engage him in conversation and ask how he was doing and how he was feeling because what answer did she expect from him at this point? He was tired of disappointing everyone with how not well he was doing, but he couldn't pretend and he didn't want to pretend.

But still…it was odd that Jazz wasn't speaking to him. Even that morning, she had said little to him. She barely even looked at him, and when Danny did glance at her or catch her eye, he could see the smallest trace of a blush in her cheeks.

It clearly meant something, but Danny had too much on his own mind to worry about what was going on with her. He opted to just gratefully accept her silence so that he could continue to keep his mind as blank as possible during that car ride home. He needed this blankness now, this nothingness, because he knew that he'd have to interact with her again very soon, and he needed as much of his mental strength as possible for that.

Jazz parked along the street, and Danny immediately exited the car and headed up to their front door. No point in delaying this. Delays just made the dread grow and sink in deeper. So he instead power walked to the door and pushed it open without any hesitation, without even waiting for Jazz to walk in with him.

Inside, Jack and Maddie were sitting on the couch. Jack had his arm behind Maddie while Maddie sat with her arms crossed. She looked up at Danny as he entered the living room. Danny waited for her to speak first. Her body language seemed closed off, as if she didn't want him to say anything anyway.

"We need to leave in twenty minutes," she said calmly, but she never uncrossed her arms.

Danny recalled what she had said to him that morning before he left for school with Jazz, something about a detox appointment. "Okay."

"So do whatever you need to do so we can leave right on time." She tilted her head in the direction of the kitchen. "I made you a sandwich. Eat it before we go."

Danny frowned. Her tone, her words, her movements all seemed off, as if she was trying to fight back what she really wanted to say and do. "Ah, well…thanks, but I'm not—"

Maddie's eyes narrowed at him. Danny stopped himself from saying anything further. He could hear Jazz coming up behind him. Jack glanced at Danny and then looked at Maddie again with a worried expression.

"You hardly ate anything this morning," said Maddie. "And knowing you, I'm sure you didn't eat anything at lunch either."

Danny made no reply but kept eye contact with her. This accusation stung, the way she said it making him feel like he had really disappointed her.

"I need to make sure you eat something. I know you don't like eating when you're depressed or anxious or whatever you've been feeling, but you need to eat." Maddie's voice rose just slightly. "I need to make sure you're getting the nutrition you need so that this treatment and therapy can actually work. So just eat it, please."

Maddie's eyes turned forward again, her arms still crossed. Danny could feel Jack's and Jazz's eyes on him. He tugged at the strap of his school bag on his shoulder as he tried to figure out what to say next.

"Okay," he said at last. Maddie's eyes went back to him so quickly that Danny winced and averted his own. "Um, I'm just going to go upstairs real quick, okay? Put some things away, use the bathroom. Then I'll be right back, okay?"

Would she allow this? Was he asking too much? As Maddie continued to stare at him, Danny was sure he had made the wrong choice, that he should've just gone to the kitchen and eaten that stupid sandwich right away even though he really didn't want to because he always felt so much better when his stomach was light and empty at times like this.

Maddie checked the time on her phone. "You have eighteen minutes."

Danny waited for her to say more, but she leaned back into the couch and said nothing. Jack nodded at Danny, urging him to quickly go and do whatever he needed to do to be ready in eighteen minutes. Jazz looked at him sympathetically as he headed up the stairs and did his absolute best to put appropriate weight on his left leg so that his mother or anyone else wouldn't call him out on having just the slightest limp.

His mother was definitely in some sort of mood. Not a good mood. What had happened? He knew he hadn't been particularly kind to her the night before when she had come into his room to talk to him about why he was in bed so early. Had he hurt her feelings? Well, he was sure he had, but he hadn't meant to hurt her that much. Had he been too insensitive? But she had seemed okay that morning at breakfast. Had something else happened while he was at school?

He couldn't dispel the terrible guilt, the pressing feeling that this was somehow his fault.

He sat on his bed and rubbed out the pain in his leg, the feeling of tearing and stretching and coming apart.

Who else could he blame but himself for all this?

If he had just been more careful with his use of painkillers—

If he just hadn't needed them in the first place—

If he hadn't scarred his DNA and turned himself into something that wasn't even human—

If he hadn't turned himself into the one thing that his mother obsessed over all else—

If he had told her the truth from the beginning—

What would that have accomplished? Did he really think she would refrain from running tests on him just because she knew he was her son? If anything, she'd insist on it under the guise of motherly love and concern.

Danny straightened up, shaking out his left leg and arm. Regardless of whether he had a part in her bad mood or not, he had to do what he could to not make her mood any worse.

He descended the stairs as quickly as he could without limping. He made brief eye contact with Maddie, who was still on the couch with Jack, before proceeding past her to the kitchen and finding the sandwich she had made for him. Jazz was also at the table eating a sandwich of her own. She watched him sit down, but rather than say something to him, she took a bite of her sandwich and for some queer reason turned just the slightest shade of pink.

Something was up with his mother, something was up with his sister. But he really didn't have the mental capacity for all of this at once.

One thing at a time. He had to eat this sandwich.

Danny picked it up. A deli sandwich with lean roast beef and turkey. He knew he'd like it. Well, he knew that he should like it. But it didn't look appetizing at all. He felt a strong aversion to it, his mind insisting that no, no, this wasn't good for him right now.

But his mother had been right. He hadn't eaten much at all that day. Shouldn't he be feeling hungry? Shouldn't he want to eat? He had no idea why he was this way, but sadness and anxiety were both just so much easier to bear when his stomach was empty. Food only deepened his pessimism and made him feel sluggish.

And sometimes…the pain of hunger could take his mind off of his problems, and that was always a good thing.

Jazz was watching him. No way he could just toss the damn thing and pretend he had eaten it. He slowly brought the sandwich to his mouth and took a bite. His mind immediately reprimanded him for the action, silently ordered him to not swallow it.

He had done so many difficult things in his life, but at the moment, nothing seemed more difficult than actually chewing and forcing this bite down.

He sighed out after finally finishing the bite and looked at the rest of the sandwich with a grimace.

"You okay?" asked Jazz.

Danny looked at her in surprise. This was the first time she had spoken to him in a while. "Ah…yeah. I'm fine."

He took a larger bite this time and ignored the stabbing mental commands to stop stop stop.

Again. Another. Each bite was always harder than the last.

"Danny? Are you ready to go?"

Maddie entered the kitchen and moved up behind Danny. He didn't look back at her as he realized that he had only managed to eat half of the sandwich. He caught Jazz's eye as she cringed at the expression on their mother's face that he himself was unable to see and didn't dare turn around to see for himself.

Maddie sighed irritably. "Danny, you've had plenty of time to finish that."

"I'm sorry; you're right." Danny took a large bite and nearly choked on it as he tried to swallow it down quickly, but it was so difficult, as if his brain was convinced that there was no room in his stomach for even just this one bite.

"We really need to leave, Danny." Her tone was cross. "I told you how much time you had."

"I know, I know. I really am sorry." Danny stood but did not make eye contact with her as he held up the sandwich. "I can just take this with me."

"You were supposed to drink the milk, too."

Danny looked back at the table warily. Indeed, there was a glass of milk there that he had not even noticed for some reason. All of his focus and energy had gone into eating this sandwich, and even that hadn't been enough since it was only half finished.

Jazz was now gazing at him with such pity. Danny reached for the glass. "I can drink this real quick." Drinking was certainly much easier than eating. He raised the glass to his lips and started chugging.

"No, stop. Don't make yourself sick." Maddie walked to their medicine cabinet and pulled a key out of her pocket. Danny curiously watched as she unlocked the cabinet and fumbled around before finding what she wanted and relocking the cabinet. She handed him a small coated pill.

"What is this?" asked Danny, setting the glass down and rolling the pill between his fingers.

"It's a vitamin D supplement," replied Maddie tersely. "It's why I wanted you to drink the milk, but since you weren't able to finish it like I told you to, this will have to do." She began to walk out of the kitchen. "Come on, let's go."

Danny walked behind her, holding the sandwich in one hand, the pill in the other. He turned his head to look behind him. "Ah, okay, let me just get some water, or maybe that milk—"

"No time. Just dry swallow it. I'm sure you're an expert at that by now."

Danny froze. He could hear Jazz gasp softly behind him. Maddie stopped at the kitchen entryway and turned back to him impatiently.

"Danny, come on already. We need to leave." She scowled at him.

Danny could only stare at her with no words to answer her. Had she even realized the callousness of what she had just said? He looked down at the pill between his fingers and fought back the swelling emotions.

She only saw him as a pill popper. That was it, wasn't it?

But maybe she didn't really mean it. She was clearly in a foul mood. Maybe he was just being too sensitive. And maybe he deserved it anyway for the way he had spoken to her the night before in his room.

And it wasn't like she was wrong. He had gotten pretty good at dry swallowing, had gotten good at gathering enough saliva and forcing the pill down so that it wouldn't get lodged in his esophagus because there were times when he needed to take something for his pain immediately but there was just no time to get water and there was no way he was going to let something like that prevent him from getting the relief he needed.

He kept his eyes down as he placed the supplement in his mouth and swallowed it along with his pride.

Maddie was already out of the kitchen. Danny quickly followed and walked toward the front door, doing his best to finish the sandwich that was already feeling so heavy in his stomach and slowing him down and no no he couldn't slow down not now she was already so irritated with him.

"We're two minutes behind now," said Maddie, her ghost-hunting bag slung over her shoulder.

Danny mumbled a low apology but did not meet her gaze.

"I told you—I gave you plenty of—and yet—"

Danny braced himself, prepared to submit himself to whatever lecture she wanted to give him. If it would make her feel better, then fine. He would just listen and agree with her.

"Maddie." Jack walked up to her. "How about I take Danny?"

Maddie stared at him. "What?"

"I can take Danny. You can just stay here and relax, okay?"

"Relax? What are you trying to say?"

Jack hesitated. "You just seem a little stressed, and I want to help."

"Right, you want to help, like when I first tried to tell you that Danny was hiding something from us?"

Jack flinched at the bite in her tone. "Maddie, I really am sorry about—"

"Forget it. It's done. Right now, I need to take Danny to his detox consultation. And yes, I want to take him because I want to talk to them directly and hear what they have to say." She looked at Danny sternly. "And now we're three minutes behind."

Still holding onto the rest of his uneaten sandwich, Danny watched her leave out the front door in a huff. He didn't want to follow her, didn't want to be anywhere near her. But the longer he waited, the angrier she'd get.

He could feel the sympathetic eyes of Jazz and his father on him as he forced himself to move toward the front door. Jack put a hand on his shoulder briefly, and Danny paused only a moment to acknowledge it with a small smile.

Just outside the front door, Danny stopped to breathe. His mother was waiting in her car at the curb with the engine on and revving. He finally made his way down the walkway and climbed into the passenger seat.

"Make sure to finish that sandwich, Danny," said Maddie before shifting the car into drive and pulling out onto the street.

Danny said nothing and took a bite, chewing as quickly and as thoughtlessly as he could. He kept his eyes forward, staring out at the road and traffic ahead of them.

"We have a lot to do this week," said Maddie, "and it would really help me out if you just do things when I tell you to do them, okay?"

"Okay," said Danny quietly before taking another bite.

"So let me just give you a rundown of what's going to happen." Maddie paused before continuing. "So, today, right now, I'm taking you to a consultation for detoxification. Do you know what that means?"

"I…not exactly."

"It's to help you cleanse and purge your system of any toxins and also help you with any withdrawal symptoms you might have."

Danny inhaled deeply. He knew he didn't need detoxification. He hadn't taken anything since Friday night, and he felt perfectly fine. No withdrawal symptoms because he didn't actually have an addiction. And besides, he really was in pain a lot. He only took painkillers when he was in pain. Wasn't that their purpose? Wasn't he using them correctly?

But he couldn't tell her that. He just had to go along no matter how disparaging this all was.

"Tomorrow, I'll be going to your school to have your schedule changed." Before Danny could interject, Maddie went on. "I'll be taking you out of any classes Sam is in."

"What? Why?" demanded Danny.

"I still haven't called Sam's parents, but I'm sure it's what they'll want me to do. And besides, I really don't want you to hang out with her anymore if she's the one who's been getting you drugs."

"They're not drugs; they're just—"

"They're drugs, Danny. And if Sam's been giving them to you, then I really don't think you should be seeing her anymore. Not in school." She glanced at him. "And not outside of school either."

Danny's jaw slacked as he tried to process this, a hand going to his head. Sam, his best friend? One of the few people he felt safe and comfortable with? His mother was going to cut him off from someone who actually helped him and gave him more confidence and made him feel better?

"It's not Sam's fault," said Danny pleadingly. "She was just trying to be a good friend. Please don't do this."

"She's been helping you get narcotic painkillers that you don't have a prescription for. Do you have any idea how dangerous that is? And how illegal?" Maddie shook her head. "I'm sorry. I know she's one of your best friends, but I don't think she's a good influence on you right now."

"No," said Danny firmly. "Sam has helped me through so much. And she's one of my only friends. Without her, it'd just be Tucker, and Tucker's great, but…" Danny shut his eyes and breathed. "It's not Sam's fault. I asked her to help me out, and she came through for me. That's all. This isn't her fault."

Maddie sighed. "I'm really sorry, Danny. But I'm not going to change my mind. We can see how your treatment goes and revisit this later, but for now, I don't want you to see Sam anymore."

Danny leaned his head back and gazed up at the ceiling of the car in frustrated silence.

"Okay, moving on. Thursday, you'll be meeting with a new therapist—"

"Wait, what? A new therapist?"

"Yes."

"So I'll be seeing two therapists?"

"No. Just this one from now on. I've decided that Brandan isn't going to work out."

Danny considered this in confusion. Not that he was about to complain since he couldn't stand that guy, but his mother had seemed so taken with Brandan. What had changed her mind? Was it because he had acted so sullen immediately after his therapy session?

"And on Friday, you'll be getting a physical including comprehensive blood work."

Danny's breath caught. "A physical? Blood work? Why?"

"We just want to be sure that you're healthy. You're overdue for one anyway."

"But I feel fine. Really."

"You claim that you've been in pain which is why you've been taking painkillers." Maddie's tone was calm but unrelenting. "So if something really is causing you pain, we need to figure out what's going on and how we can relieve that pain so you don't become more dependent on painkillers. We need to see if maybe there's something serious going on that's causing you so much pain."

"It's not serious. It's just—I told you I've just been sore from working out. And sometimes I get headaches."

"It doesn't hurt to make sure that there isn't something more serious going on, and like I said, you're overdue for a physical anyway."

"Okay, well, what's the point of blood work? What exactly are they going to be looking for? How will that help them?" Danny attempted to keep his tone just as calm as his mother's, but he could hear the involuntary strain.

"Oh, blood work can reveal so much. Proper function of all of your organs and systems can be seen in blood tests." Maddie paused. "But in particular, we're going to want to check your deficiencies, your hormonal levels, things like that. Anything that could possibly be a factor in your depression and anxiety."

Danny could feel himself shivering. He had no idea what his blood would look like when analyzed, but considering that he was able to use his ghost powers to a limited degree in his human form, he had to guess that there were ghostly properties in his blood that the doctors would take notice of and question and show others and it would eventually get to his mother and then oh God oh God she'd finally figure it out finally figure out that he was half ghost and the very ghost she had been hunting and then she'd—

"Depression—anxiety—" Danny tripped over his words, tried to find the right ones to make this somehow go away. "Isn't that what therapy is for?"

"Well, yes, of course, but there are chemical items that can make you think and feel certain ways, and if there's an imbalance somewhere that we could fix with a supplement or medication, then that'd help you feel better sooner."

"But aren't we supposed to be trying to get me away from medication? Isn't that the whole point?"

"Medication itself isn't a bad thing." Maddie glanced at him somewhat reproachfully. "The problem is that you've been taking over-the-counter painkillers too often, and worse, you've been taking narcotic painkillers without a prescription."

"Too often? How can you possibly even know that?" asked Danny heatedly. "You're not me. You don't know what my pain is like."

"I'm not claiming to know, Danny," snapped Maddie. "But this is exactly why you're getting a physical and blood work, so that an actual doctor can determine what medication you actually need, and then we can monitor it and make sure you don't develop a more severe dependency."

"Dependency." Danny scoffed. "Is that a nice way to say 'addiction'?"

Maddie threw up one hand, her eyes still on the road. "Whatever you want to call it, Danny."

Danny narrowed his eyes and exhaled heavily. "Do you honestly think I have an addiction?"

Maddie didn't speak for a moment. "Well, you snuck out in the middle of the night to steal narcotics, so you tell me."

Danny fumed and shook and snarled behind his pressed lips. By God did that sting, and it wasn't even true! But he couldn't deny it or tell her the truth, so he instead turned to her angrily. "Well, what if I really am in pain? Isn't that what painkillers are for? Is it really an addiction if I'm just using them for their intended purpose and only when I'm actually in pain?"

"Yeah, it can still be an addiction." Maddie gripped the steering wheel aggressively. "But your pain might not be real. Have you considered that?"

Artificial simulation artificial person artificial pain—

"It's real," said Danny steadfastly.

"But what exactly is this pain? Because all you've told me is that it's soreness from working out and headaches, and it's hard for me to believe that it can be that bad if that's all it is."

"That's—ah—"

"Is it something more than that? Because if it is, you need to tell me. And you need to tell the doctors."

It was of course so much more than that, but he couldn't tell her about all of his injuries that were sometimes so severe that he couldn't even see straight. And he certainly couldn't tell the doctors or else they'd want to run more and more tests on him and he just couldn't be a test subject no please never again and he couldn't let them discover his secret.

"No, that's…that's all," stammered Danny.

"And you're telling me that your pain is severe enough to warrant so many painkillers including narcotics?"

Yes. "I…I don't know."

"Feeling like you need something that strong when you really don't indicates an addiction, Danny."

Danny turned to look out the passenger side window while blinking back his distress. "So, what? Am I just never allowed to take painkillers again? I mean, what if I really am in a lot of pain?"

"Hopefully, by the end of all this, you'll be able to make rational decisions about when to take painkillers and how much to take. But for now, no, you're not allowed to take anything without talking it over with me or a doctor first." Maddie pulled up to a stop sign and took the opportunity to look at him. "And you definitely shouldn't be taking narcotics without a prescription. Ever."

Danny met her gaze. "I can decide for myself how severe my pain is. I don't need you or a doctor to tell me what I should or shouldn't be taking."

Maddie glared at him. "Well, you know, Danny, that's exactly something an addict would say."

Danny matched her glare, but Maddie turned her attention back to the road. He knew he was supposed to just submit and give up his dignity, but he was just so sick of her scorning him like this when she had NO IDEA what she was talking about.

"I am not an addict." Danny kept his eyes on her even though she continued to look forward. His voice shook slightly. "Yes, okay, I've been taking painkillers, but that doesn't mean I have an addiction. You want me to stop taking them? Fine. I can do that. But I don't need help to do it. I don't need therapy or physical exams or blood work. I don't need to be separated from Sam." His volume rose. "I haven't taken anything since Friday night, and I've been perfectly fine. I'm not feeling any withdrawal symptoms at all. Not even a little."

The car pulled into a parking lot. Danny looked out at the building before them in frustration. "I don't even need this stupid detoxification," he griped. "Because, like I said, I'm not experiencing withdrawal, and I'm not going to because I do not have an addiction."

"Danny!" Maddie slammed the car into park and turned to him with an enraged expression and pitch to match. "None of this is a negotiation! You do have a problem, and I'm not going to just stand by and do nothing about it."

Danny recoiled and leaned back against the passenger side door as she yelled at him.

"This is no small matter, Danny. Yes, we caught it before it could get out of hand, but that doesn't make it any less serious. The fact that you don't even see that shows that you should not be making any decisions about this. You're a teenager, a child. You have no idea just how serious this is, but I do because I'm an adult, and I have personally seen things exactly like this hurt and kill people I have known and cared about. I'm not going to let that happen to you."

Maddie shut her eyes and paused for a short moment. Danny could only wait for her to continue.

"This is how it's going to be. You're going to get therapy. You're going to get a physical. You're going to be restricted from some things." Maddie unbuckled her seat belt and switched off the engine. "And you won't like it. You'll hate it. But that's how it has to be because you need help, and I'm your mother and I have to make sure you get that help because I am not going to let you hurt yourself anymore."

Danny lowered his eyes as Maddie gathered some things, notes and credit card and her ghost hunting equipment. She then looked at him intently again. "And now, we're going in for your detox consultation."

Danny kept his eyes down and away. "Yes, ma'am."

He placed the final bite of his sandwich into his mouth and put all of his effort and focus into swallowing that one bite because he didn't want to think about anything else anymore.

Certainly not about the gun she just wouldn't stop holding to his head.

But that was his fault. He had provoked her.

Danny forced the bite down with a painful gulp and then unbuckled his seat belt before realizing that his mother was now strangely quiet. He raised his eyes to see her gazing at him with a troubled expression.

"Mr. Lancer e-mailed me this afternoon."

Danny only blinked in reply and placed his seat belt behind and out of the way.

"He's worried about you. He says he's never seen you like this before."

Danny looked down and bit his lip.

"I've never seen you like this before either." Maddie drew in a shaky breath. "And it scares me."

She reached out to stroke his hair, tenderly, motherly. Danny winced and pulled away reflexively.

Maddie slowly drew her hand back in. "Are you scared, too?"

Danny couldn't answer. He had no idea how to answer.

"Danny, are you afraid of me?" Maddie's voice was barely audible, just above a whisper. "You've been acting like…like you're afraid of me ever since this whole thing started, ever since Wednesday night when we caught you sneaking out."

Afraid of her since Wednesday night, afraid since she caught him and threatened his life and took all of his power, his power as both a ghost and as a person.

"I don't want you to feel afraid with me, sweetheart. Are you afraid of upsetting me or making me angry? Or disappointing me?" Maddie reached out for his hand, and Danny let her take it. "I'm sorry for yelling at you. I'm really not mad at you at all. I was never mad at you, not even when you snuck out. I was just scared. I'm just scared now." Maddie ran her thumb over the back of his hand. "I don't want you to feel like what you say or think or feel doesn't matter to me because it does. It absolutely matters to me. You matter to me. Nothing else in this world matters more to me than you."

She started crying, her tears falling onto his hand as she held it close to her. Danny could only stare at her in tormented silence.

"It didn't use to be this way." She shook her head. "I don't like how things are between us now."

Danny could feel tears pricking at his eyes with agonizing pressure. "I don't either," he whispered quietly through nearly paralyzed vocal cords. "I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't mean to be this way. I didn't want to be this way, but it's too late now, and I'm trying my hardest to make up for it."

"What?" Maddie wiped at her eyes and frowned at him. "What are you saying? I can barely understand you."

He never wanted to be half ghost. He never wanted to engage in fight after countless fight with ghosts that refused to leave his town alone. He never wanted to be bruised and beaten on a nightly basis. He never wanted to be seen as a simulation with no rights. He never wanted to be tortured for the pleasure of others. He never wanted to be hunted by his own mother. He never wanted to be held at gunpoint by his own mother. He never wanted to be forced into submission by his own mother. He never wanted to be almost killed by his own mother.

And all because he had stupidly decided to enter his parents' ghost portal. All because he had stupidly switched it on while he was inside it. All because he felt an obligation to protect this town. All because he had made his existence as a ghost known to everyone. All because he had made his existence as a ghost known to his mother. All because he had paused for just a moment to free that stupid bird from the stupid trashcan it had stupidly gotten itself stuck in.

Danny closed his eyes and put his free hand to his forehead. "I should've let that bird die," he gasped out.

"What? What are you talking about?"

Danny shook his head and kept his eyes closed.

"There's more, isn't there?" Maddie's voice strengthened. "There's something else you're not telling me, isn't there?"

Danny shook his head again.

"It's more than painkillers and depression and anxiety. There's something else you're hiding from me. Something much bigger than any of that."

She spoke resolutely. Danny knew that tone too well. Every lie he knew, every line he spoke could never convince her now.

"Why won't you tell me? Please tell me. I can't help you if you don't tell me what's really going on."

She started crying again, her voice breaking into a wavering tremble.

Tell her what? The truth? And what would happen if he told her? One of only two things could possibly result.

She could pull a gun on him, force him back to her lab, lock him away because he would suddenly cease to be a person to her. He'd be only a ghost, the very ghost that ignited her obsession.

Or she could realize the horrifying terror she had been inflicting on him and break down in a flood of endless tears, forever begging his forgiveness, forever tormented by how she had dehumanized and damaged him.

Neither outcome was acceptable to him.

Even if he could be positive that she would accept him and his ghostly identity, he could never hurt her with the truth. The anguish he'd feel for knowing how broken up she was over it would be too much for him.

But he could protect her from such devastation.

He was, after all, supposed to be a hero. He suffered in silence for the people of his town all the time, complete strangers who never did anything for him. If he was willing to endure such pain for people he didn't even know, then he absolutely had to endure this pain for someone he loved, someone who had loved and cared for him his whole life.

This wasn't her fault. She didn't know just how much she was hurting him.

And he didn't want her to ever know. He loved her too much to do that to her.

liar you're afraid of what she'll do to you

"No, there isn't anything else," said Danny insistently. "That really is it."

Maddie stared at him. Danny took his hand back from her.

"I swear that's it," he said more firmly, almost pleadingly. Please, please believe this. He'd do whatever she wanted except tell her the truth, okay?

Maddie studied him in silence a while longer before finally getting out of the car. Danny did the same and walked beside her toward the detoxification center.

He had to keep lying. To protect himself. To protect her.