"Cartoon Royal Rumble"
Rated T
Summary: 80 men/women from your favorite cartoons will battle it out in a battle royal for a chance at $1,000,000! It's all out mayhem and anarchy in the first ever Cartoon Royal Rumble!
Disclaimer: I especially do not own anything associated with Cartoon Network, Disney, Fox's Animation Domination, Nickelodeon, Adult Swim, Hub Network or anything animated whatsoever. Or not to mention the fact that I don't own WWE or TNA.
P.S.: The list of characters I have will be random, so you won't know who'll show up in this match. Once again, I don't own.
Chapter 13: Heath of the Moment
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #45: Alejandro Burromuerto (Total Drama)
Suddenly as the horn sounded, an attractive muscular latino with a soul patch, red shirt, black pants and a bull necklace came emerging through the curtain. Unfortunately, he was greeted with boos by this entire Los Angeles crowd. But he didn't care about the crowd reaction. He came here to win
"Oh, no," Jonesy groaned, "Why did it have to be this guy?"
"It's Alejandro Burromuerto from the Total Drama series," J.R. exclaimed. "And from the look on your face, Jonesy. You're not very happy to see him!"
"Are you kidding me," Jonesy raised an eyebrow, "I can't stand this guy! I don't know why, but I just don't!"
When Alejandro got to the ring, he saw Heather about to be thrown over the top rope by both Frankie and Vanessa.
Acting quickly, he quietly approached the girls and tapped them on their shoulders. Realizing that Alejandro was behind them, the two girls gently put Heather down and turned to the Latin liar. Apparently, they weren't happy to see him at all.
"I know this guy," Vanessa replied, "He's nothing more of a jerk!"
"Let's shred him up and kick his ass!" Frankie cried out.
Before Vanessa or Frankie could either lay a hand on either one of them...
...
...Alejandro retaliated by ripping his shirt off and revealing his sexy six-pack abs to the twosome! Apparently, both Vanessa and Frankie were instantly hypnotized by his hotness!
"Oh, my goodness," Vanessa blushed, "He's so gorgeous!"
"Gorgeous?" Frankie said, staring him like a box of muffins, "He's Voltageous!"
"Will you be kind to leave this ring so I can be with mi amor?" Alejandro asked nicely, "Heather hates it when you rough her up like that. Makes her too unattractive."
Hypnotized, both girls gave him a nod.
"Yes!" They replied.
Because of this, both Frankie and Vanessa went over the top rope and gently landed on the floor, counting their elimination.
"I don't believe this one bit!" Jonesy exclaimed.
"Vanessa and Frankie eliminated themselves," J.R. replied, "All because Alejandro told them to!"
"That's pretty much an easy way not to get his hands dirty!" Jonesy scoffed.
36th Elimination: Vanessa Doofenshmirtz; Eliminated herself; Duration: 7:32
37th Elimination: Frankie Stein; Eliminated herself; Duration: 14:32
As soon as Frankie and Vanessa left, Alejandro went to go check up on Heather by lending him a hand.
From the Queen Bee's POV, she swatted his hand away.
"Can't you see I don't need any help?" Heather replied.
"But can't you see, Mi Amor," Alejandro smiled at her, "You need my help. We need to help each other win this contest. Don't you want the million dollars you want so bad. Join me and together, we can do it."
Heather tried not to blush when Alejandro's hand caressed her face. That helped make up her mind really fast.
"Oh god, please tell me they're not gonna kiss," Jonesy cringed inside, "I really hate that."
"I'm thinking the same thing that you are right now..." J.R. muttered.
But before Heather could actually give Alejandro her decision...
...Alejandro was superkicked in the back of the head by Holt Hyde and Monty Monogram! Suddenly, Alejandro's head collided with Heather's, resulting in an accidental headbutt.
"Ouch!" J.R. cringed, "Talk about a meeting of the minds!"
"Apparently, Monty and that Holt freak didn't like what Alejandro did to their girlfriends!" Jonesy stated.
"Yeah," J.R. nodded, "And I'm afraid he's paying the price!"
Alejandro was reeling from the kick while Heather felt a little disoriented. (Get it, dis-'orient'-ed? Because Heather's asian?)
However, Alejandro's little interaction with Heather wasted a lot of time in the Rumble, considering that it was 10 seconds to another contestant.
"While Alejandro's in La-La-land," Jonesy chuckled, "Let's see who's entry number 46! I can't wait!"
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
As soon as the horn sounded, a huge fireball exploded from the titantron, shaking some fans, the commentators and the wrestlers loose.
"WHOA!" Jonesy shouted, "What in the holy hell was that!"
"My hat was almost blown out of orbit there!" J.R. complained.
Out of nowhere, the 46th entrant emerged from the fireball unscathed. He had a white flattop, dressed like Guile from Street Fighter and held a huge magic wand in hand. Apparently, everyone in the arena recognized who this was.
Entrant #46: Jorgen Von Strangle (The Fairly Oddparents)
"Oh man, this ain't gonna be good!" Jonesy cried out.
"It's Jorgen Von Strangle from 'The Fairly Oddparents'," J.R. replied, "Another one of the favorites to win the event!"
"This dude is jacked up!" Jonesy nodded.
After Jorgen got to the ring, he started to go all out. He started out with a clothesline to Heath Burns, a big boot to Flash Sentry, a hip toss to Geoff and finishing with a body slam to Hunter Huntsman!
"Holy crap, Jorgen's gone competely crazy!" Jonesy exclaimed.
"And that's how Jorgen likes it!" J.R. nodded, "He's rolling through them like a dadgum steamroller!"
Meanwhile, Holt Hyde decided to go up the top rope. From there, he took his eye on an already pumped Jorgen Von Strangle.
As Jorgen got his attention, Holt took a huge leap..
...
...only for Jorgen to catch him midair!
"My gawd," J.R. cried out, "Did you see that?!"
"He just catched him like a ragdoll!" Jonesy exclaimed, "It's almost like easy pickings, I'll tell you!"
Before Jorgen could throw Holt out over his shoulder, the crazy blue-skinned teenager raked Jorgen right in the eyes.
As soon as Jorgen began recovering, Holt ran back and forth the ropes, hoping to surprise Jorgen with a clothesline over the top rope. But the muscle man recovered just in time, only to launch Holt way up the air and plummet to the outside floor, counting as an elimination!
"Well, party's over for Hyde!" Jonesy chuckled, "That freak is outta here!"
"Consider Jorgen's first elimination done!" J.R. nodded.
38th Eliminated: Jackson Jekyll/Holt Hyde; Eliminated by: Jorgen Von Strangle; Duration: 7:30
While Holt complained about his elimination, Jorgen found the boombox that Jekyll/Hyde wanted to use for extra support. As an insult to injury, Jorgen threw the boombox out on the arena floor, smashing it to pieces!
"There, you forgot something!" Jorgen laughed at Hyde.
"Well, talk about losing a loved one!" Jonesy chuckled.
"Hyde ain't never gonna be the same again because of that!" J.R. said, regarding Hyde's broken boombox.
After Hyde's departure, Alejandro trapped Flash Sentry in a tree of woe around the lower right turnbuckle.
And then, Alejandro followed it up with a 10 kick salute. Every hit was excruciating to Flash's ribcage, as if Flash was getting tasered.
"Those kicks are as hard as stone, man." Jonesy cringed a little.
"They're as vicious as a dog being whipped, let me tell ya that." J.R. nodded.
Right after the ninth kick, Alejandro began backing away from Flash a little, trying to analyze where to kick him next.
But before he could take off running with a missile dropkick...
...
...Heather came out of nowhere, and walloped Alejandro with a spin kick to the face!
"My god, that was nasty!" Jonesy cringed.
"Imagine if the brick wall was Heather's feet and the rest of Alejandro's face a car!" J.R. cringed as wel!
"It goes to show you that it's every man and woman for themselves!" Jonesy replied.
While Alejandro was still reeling from Heather's roundhouse kick, the Rumble clock displayed itself on the titantron again, which meant another entrant was making his way next.
"Here comes number 47 making his way," Jonesy replied, "Who's it gonna be?"
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #47: "Razor" Jake Clawson (SWAT Kats)
As the 47th horn sounded, a humanoid kat dressed in blue-and-red SWAT gear came out running from the curtain. He was greeted by a huge ovation from the crowd.
"Okay, I'm definitely familiar with this character!" Jonesy said.
"I am too," J.R. nodded, "It's Jake 'Razor' Clawson from the 90's cult cartoon, 'SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron'!"
"Can't wait to see what he comes up with!" Jonesy nodded as well.
As soon as Razor tried to enter the ring, he noticed Jorgen Von Strangle trying to get his hands on him.
Not letting Jorgen go any further, Razor leaped over the top rope and hit Jorgen with a hurricanrana!
"Wow, what a hurricanrana!" Jonesy exclaimed.
"Razor's going out on the attack!" J.R. cried out.
After kipping up to his feet, Razor met up with Hunter Huntsman. The kat responded quickly by hitting Hunter with a dropsault dropkick, right around the same time he hit Heath Burns with a standing moonsault!
"Holy crap!" Jonesy exclaimed, "Razor's pulling double duty here!"
"Momentum on the side of Razor so far!" J.R. exclaimed as well.
While Razor kept pumping up the crowd, Monty Monogram caught Alejandro with a suplex, and then another. He was hoping to pull off a triple suplex while feeding off the chants of 'Eddie, Eddie, Eddie,' in homage to the late great Eddie Guerrero!
"Holy crap on a stick, is Monty thinking of pulling off the Three Amigos?" Jonesy raised an eyebrow.
"I'm thinking that's what he wants to do!" J.R. nodded.
After hitting off two successful suplexes, Monty tried to get Alejandro with a third suplex.
But before Monty could even think of putting him down, Heather suddenly came out of nowhere and decked Monty with a Chick Kick.
"Oh geez-!" Jonesy said, leaping out of his seat!
"Monty may have lost all of his teeth there with that kick!" J.R. cringed.
"I don't get this," Jonesy scowled, "First, Heather turned against him and now he's helping him? This is getting way confusing!"
As Alejandro had a rough time getting off the starting blocks, Geoff recently caught Razor at a bad time when Razor tried to surprise Geoff with a flying body press. It was a huge mistake from the kat as Geoff caught him in mid-air.
"Uh-oh, bad place, wrong time Razor!" Jonesy chuckled.
"Razor just hit a roadblock in the form of Geoff," J.R stated, "Not good for him at all!"
With Razor on his shoulders, Geoff lifted him in a Samoan Drop position. Holding on to Razor the best that he can, Geoff spun Razor around and hit Razor with an F5!
"Geoff with the F5!" J.R. cried out, "What impressive power!"
"I don't know anything about that," Jonesy shrugged, "But I wanna know how long Geoff's lasting in the ring so far!"
"So far, Geoff's lasting a very long time in the Rumble," J.R. exclaimed, "I gotta say, that's very impressive from Geoff's standards!"
Meanwhile, Flash Sentry and Hunter Huntsman decided to team up by connecting Jorgen Von Strangle with a picture perfect double dropkick.
"Excellent double team move by Flash and Hunter right there!" J.R. exclaimed.
"That move stunned him a bit," Jonesy nodded, "But he's still at his best so far!"
While Jorgen Von Strangle was busy resting at the ropes, the countdown clock appeared on the titantron again. This meant that the 48th entrant was now making his way.
"Who has drawn number 48 in the quickest Royal Rumble of all time?" J.R. raised an eyebrow.
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #48: Justin (Total Drama)
As another horn sounded, an attractive male model with wavy dark brown hair, green shirt, blue pants and sparkling smile rushed down the aisle. Unlike Alejandro, he had a huge ovation for his appearance.
"Well, things definitely got interesting from here!" Jonesy chuckled.
"Justin from Total Drama is in the Rumble," J.R. replied, "And suffice it to say, Alejandro's not happy about it!"
"I'm think Justin wants to prove to everybody he's more hot than Alejandro," Jonesy stated, "And I don't blame him one bit!"
Before Justin could get himself in the ring, he saw Jorgen Von Strangle trying to reach his breath.
Acting like a sneaky ninja, Justin gave Jorgen a clothesline from the apron. The impact sent him over the top rope and immediately landing right on the floor to a standing ovation!
"WHA-?!" Jonesy exclaimed, "IS THIS HAPPENING?"
"Justin just eliminated Jorgen Von Strangle out of nowhere!" J.R. cried out.
"Something tells me Jorgen ain't gonna like what happened!" Jonesy cringed for the worst.
39th Eliminated: Jorgen Von Strangle; Eliminated by: Justin; Duration: 2:06
Right before Jorgen was busy complaining to the referees, Justin got in the ring and dusted himself off.
Suddenly, Justin saw Heath Burns going after him with a clothesline. Alarmed, Justin catapulted Heath over the top rope, but managed to hang on. It was not for long though as Justin dropkicked Heath off the apron...
...
...and straight into Jorgen Von Strangle, who catched him mid-air!
"Heath's out," Jonesy replied, "No, wait a minute, Jorgen's got him!"
"I don't think Heath touched the floor," J.R. muttered, "But I think Jorgen may be looking to drop him on the floor!"
However, Jorgen wasn't looking to drop Heath on the floor. Instead, he brought Heath to the barricade and laid him down, responding in an open chop to the chest.
"Ooooh, that stings!" J.R. cringed.
"It's almost like a bug being squished by a windshield!" Jonesy nodded.
"Heath's almost feeling like a bug right now!" J.R. nodded as well, "How on earth is Heath gonna get back in the ring now? So far, his feet didn't touch the floor, so he's still back in this!"
"He may not be back in the Rumble for long," Jonesy shook his head no, "He still needs to find a way to prevent his two feet from touching the floor."
While Heath suddenly got himself in a pickle, Justin was focused on Alejandro. Alejandro tried begging for mercy, but it wasn't helping out. Justin approached him with the rage of a Hawaiian volcano combined. Oh how Justin was gonna love this.
"Alejandro's trying to beg, but nothing's working!" J.R. replied.
"I hate to say it," Jonesy chuckled, "But it's nice knowing you, Al!"
Not letting Al beg, Justin responded with cold hard strikes to the chest (regarding that Alejandro didn't want his pretty face to be ruined by Justin's fists.), and irish whipped him to the other corner, where Alejandro flipped himself over, Shawn Michaels-style.
When Al flipped himself back over, he turned around...
...
...only to receive a huge superkick to the face by Justin!
"Whoa!" Jonesy exclaimed, "You know what they say: 'And Boom goes the Dynamite'!"
"Justin nearly blasted Alejandro's jaw into outer space with that move!" J.R. cringed a little.
"Talk about jaw-breaking!" Jonesy nodded.
Meanwhile, from outside the ring, Heath Burns stood on top of the bulky black barricade with his own two feet. He raised both of his arms in a crucifix state, just to keep his balance straight. One false move or one false slip-up could spell doom for the fire-bringer.
"Wait a minute," Jonesy muttered, "Is Heath gonna steal a playbook from Kofi Kingston?"
"I'm thinking that he is!" J.R. nodded.
"I can't wait to see this!" Jonesy chuckled.
With careful balance and concentration, Heath ran and leaped from the barricade...
...
...successfully landing on the apron, avoiding elimination for the time being. His little elimination save brought out a big pop from the L.A. crowd!
"I can't believe that fire-y freak actually did it!" Jonesy shouted, as his heart stopped.
"Heath Burns just defied the law of gravity," J.R. commented. "And it certainly helped him here for now!"
"He's like frickin' SpiderMan! He'll pretty much latch on to anything!" Heath scoffed.
As Heath finally got in the ring, the Rumble clock displayed on the titantron, revealing the soon-to-be 49th entrant of the match.
"Oh man, I can't wait for number 49," Jonesy chuckled, rubbing his hands together in anticipation, "I'm so excited for this!"
That's all for this chapter! Too bad we didn't see much of the showdown between Justin and Alejandro, but there will be plenty more in the next chapter. Anyway, let's see what stats we have now:
Entrants still in the ring: Alejandro Burromuerto, Flash Sentry, Geoff, Heath Burns, Heather, Hunter Huntsman, Justin, Monty Monogram and "Razor" Jake Clawson
Eliminated so far: Buford Van Stomm, Beavis, Plucky Duck, Jonesy Garcia, Peter Griffin, Muscle Man, SpongeBob SquarePants,
Bubbles, Lightning, Timmy's Dad, Timmy Turner, George Liquor American, Homer Simpson, Edd, Chris, Sam, Dan, Spike, The Great And Powerful Trixie, Phineas Flynn, Uncle Ruckus, Stewie Griffin, Butt-Head, Sunset Shimmer, Abbey Bominable, Randy Marsh, Brock Samson,
Carl Brutananadilewski, Spectra Vondergeist, Buster Bunny, Milhouse Van Houten, Ice King, Twilight Sparkle, Jude Lizowski, Duncan, Vanessa Doofenshmirtz, Frankie Stein, Jackson Jekyll/Holt Hyde and Jorgen Von Strangle
Will Geoff or Heath Burns go to the limit after being the two longest men in the ring so far? Will the showdown between Justin and Alejandro escalate? Does Heather have a single chance of losing her hair again? Next chapter's gonna be something else, so stay tuned!