Santana's hand stills at the front door to her parents' summer home. This was going to be a nightmare. Her parents were going to be livid and no amount of time would take the sting out of her betrayal. She was almost certain they'd see it that way. They'd ignore the fact that she was standing up for her boyfriend and focus on the fact that she wasn't the perfectly obedient robot that she was supposed to be. But she didn't care. She felt more alive than she had in awhile. Freedom was just at the edge of her grasp. She didn't have to capitulate to all of her father's demands.

Emboldened, she pushes the door open and steps inside before she can think better of it. She closes the door slowly, suddenly realizing that her bravery was merely adrenaline after taking a few steps inside the house. This was a terrible idea, maybe if she was quiet she could sneak up to her room and fill a duffel bag filled with her clothes and gear and force Charlie to take pity on her. He probably wouldn't, so she'd simply have to move her stuff in anyway. She glances around, noting that the coast was clear and takes a step forward—

"I don't care how helpful he is, I want that boy fired. Get the owner to call me or I'm taking my business elsewhere." Carlos practically screamed at the phone before ending the call and slamming it back on his desk. He glares at Santana and motions at her to sit.

She gulps and figures it's probably better to just go along with it. Her mother is nursing a cosmopolitan in the oversized arm chair and eyes her wordlessly.

"How dare you just sit beside that boy while he made me look like a fool. Do you have any idea of what you could have done? Brittany Fabray was there Santana—"

"It wouldn't have even been a problem if you and Mami had played nice."

"Nice? Please Santana, this rebellious teenager phase has lasted long enough. What do you even know about him? He's a loser. Some bum that's practically a tattooed freak living under a bridge. So, stop this nonsense—"

"He doesn't have tattoos." Santana interrupts. "I would know, definitely no tattoos—"

"Do you think this is some sort of joke?"

Santana sighed resisting the urge to rub her temples. "I know how important this is to you, but Brittany and Charlie grew up together. They bicker like siblings you should have seen them in the car, and Mr. Fabray made sure that Charlie was looking out for her. So, you should be glad that Brittany found the whole thing funny as fuck, because even if you think he's the help, Mr. Fabray doesn't. So maybe he didn't have some fancy degree, and maybe he does just work as a mechanic but it's honest work. I get it you hate every guy I choose, but as guy's go he's not the worst person I've ever dated. And it's certainly not going to last. I'm going to Yale, and I'm not doing a long-distance relationship."

"Thank god for that." Maribel murmurs.

Carlos spins on his heel to retort but is cut off when his phone rings. He answers it, aware that with this threat there's only one person that can be calling. He'll have that boy fired in no time. He smirks, putting the phone on speaker so his daughter can hear her boyfriend get fired. "This is Carlos Lopez. I'm assuming you're the owner of North Sails?"

'Sure. Whatever. This is Francine Fabray, Ken Tanaka asked me to call you about Charlie?'

Santana winces at the name as her father beams. She's heard horror stories about Frannie, a couple that were confirmed by Brittany herself. Frannie was Charlie's boss? This couldn't go well. "That boy is a menace and I want him fired."

'Is that all?' Frannie chuckles lowly. 'I'm a very busy woman Mr. Lopes—'

"Lopez." Carlos corrects. He shoots a look at Santana to make his point. There were standards in this family, and he wasn't the only one who would have a problem with the good for nothing mechanic. "And yes. Charlie has been rude and disrespectful—"

'Look, Mr. Lopez. I'm going to be really upfront with you. I don't care about your hurt feelings. If you have a problem with him, then take it up with someone whose billable rate is low enough that they will put up with your shit.'

"Excuse me? Do you have any idea who I am?"

'No. I don't. And I don't care to. I am calling because I owe someone a favor.' Frannie says, glancing at the text on her phone. This was such a waste of her time, and she was definitely going to bill him for the five minutes of her life that he had wasted.

"Dad—that's Frannie Fabray," Santana hissed, he probably hadn't been paying that much attention to the name, he had been so dead set on making a point. "She's the oldest."

Carlos blinked at this information and paled a bit, this hadn't gone like he had planned. He was so used to throwing his weight around and it normally worked, but against a Fabray. People like the Fabray's thought that he was middle-class. Perhaps his daughter had been right and the boy had some connection to the Fabray's.

'At least someone knows who I am. I'm so glad my reputation is taking hold,' Frannie bitched looking at her nails. 'If you want to take your business elsewhere, then that's completely up to you. But no one is getting fired because you don't like what he's doing in his personal life. Now, if that's settled, if you wish to cancel your reservation, you'll get your deposit back, since you still have more than thirty days to the event. I think you may be needing that money back. Though good luck finding another boat this late and getting everything set up again. Now if you'll excuse me I do have more important things to do.'

"Now wait—" Carlos began only to have the call cut off as Frannie ended it. He turns a dark shade of purple and looks at Santana who shrugs her shoulders.

Santana wasn't going to let her father shift the blame onto her, "I told you that he grew up with Brittany, and they're like siblings. I mean I was worried that there was something between them at first, but the two of them are really like brother and sister. He lives on one of their houseboats for free so long as he fixes them up, so I didn't think that they were going to fire him because of that." She was glad that they hadn't she would have felt guilty, Charlie liked living on the boat, he liked going out and he really hadn't gone fishing like he wanted.

"Perhaps it's not the worse thing in the world." Maribel placates. She's not sure she's ever seen Carlos this furious but he has to listen to reason. "It's a summer fling and after the event Santana is going to Yale." She looks at her husband pointedly. The more they tell Santana to break up with that boy, the more she's going to date him to spite them. It will be better for everyone if they let this extended booty call run its course. "And as Santana explained he is close friends with the Fabray's and perhaps it's another in Carlos. It was always a toss up, whether Russell was going to invest or not but perhaps this might be enough to get our foot in the door. It would be better if she was dating an actual Fabray, not their charity project."

"They only have two sons, Chuck and Lucas and Brittany said that they were both dating people. Lucas is even considering proposing. So, no, I couldn't start dating an actual Fabray. I mean Brittany might be pretty but I've seen a picture of Russell, he's not that big of a looker. I am not going to put up with someone I'm not attracted to just to help you out. I mean a guy like that is probably so full of himself, like that guy you tried to set me up with before. Biff?"

"Biff was a junior partner in a respectable accounting firm." Carlos retorts, feeling defeated. He wasn't used to not having the upper hand. He blows out a breath and rubs his brow tiredly. "Fine. But I don't want that boy in my house. You say you're an adult Santana, but I expect you to make smart choices. I swear if you end up pregnant and have to drop out of Yale—"

"I won't. He's 'nice' and more importantly he doesn't want that as well." Santana shook her head, he was paranoid about it, and while they had started to use less condoms, he was still rather anal about the whole thing. It could have gotten better, she knew that and she knew she owed Charlie some sort of apology for her parents. The job market was insanely difficult, and they had threatened his livelihood. She bites her lips debating whether she should bring this up now or wait till her father was in a better mood. "So—Brittany invited me to New York to meet her parents and go see a Broadway show—"

~?~

Charlie was waiting by the phone at North Sails, trying to stay busy as he mentally willed the phone to ring. He wasn't nervous. No, that would imply that he had feelings or something for Santana, which—was not the case. He just wanted to make sure that Frannie didn't screw this all up.

Brittany twirled around in her chair before putting her feet up on Charlie's desk ignoring the pointed glare that he gave her. "You know, I think Santana really likes you even with your winning personality. Plus, she's super hot and smart and we're totes best friends so you should just tell her."

"Your opinion has been noted, and I am once again ignoring your advice—" Charlie looks up to see Brittany making a face. "Santana doesn't actually like me Brittany, I am just a warm body to her. Which is fine, what we have is fun, I don't have to think about being a Fabray with her, I don't have to worry about impressing her, how much do I have to spend—apparently a fortune on condoms though. She really likes sex—like out of all the women I've been with Santana lets me do things—"

Brittany holds up her hand and gags, "Gross, she's my friend and you're my brother and I don't want to hear about you putting stuff up her butt. You wouldn't want to hear about Mike putting stuff up my butt, would you?"

Charlie shrugs. Lucas had the market cornered on the protective brother schtick, and he's never really cared. Sex was fun and it's far more likely that Brittany will take advantage of Mike than the other way around. Especially since that was not something that he and Santana had ever discussed, he'd never done anal before but he shrugs it off with ease. "I wouldn't think you'd be able to feel anything Mike put up your butt anyway."

"That was racist. Mike's never had any complaints." Brittany narrows her eyes at her brother. "But if you want to start comparing dicks then maybe I should ask Lucas about the time you—"

"Alright, fine. You've made your point." Charlie grumbles. "Though in my defense the water was freezing—" He jumps when the phone rings and beats Brittany to it by mere inches. "Frannie, how'd it go?"

'He's an asshole. I cut him down to size. I think I've missed my calling in life. Who knew being a bitch could be so enjoyable. Maybe I should start a charity.'

Charlie rolls his eyes. "Ha ha, very funny. What'd he say?"

'He said I should fire you. I told him to fuck off. So now that we're even, do I get to know what you did to piss him off?'

"Oh." Charlie scratches the back of his head. "I'm sleeping with his daughter."

But Brittany's not going to let him re-write what had actually happened and presses the speaker phone button so she can join the conversation. "And he wore his best boat fixing clothes to meet Santana's parents at a fancy restaurant named Lucianda's." She grins when Charlie glares at her. "Oh, and don't forget, Charlie like Madonna, because he doesn't want her to know his last name."

'I see.' Frannie sits back in her chair. 'Maybe I should have fired you.'

"You aren't my boss, thank you very much." Charlie snaps. "Whatever, it's a shame to lose his business. I was charging him three times the amount anyway."

'Aren't there laws in place to protect people from price gouging?' Frannie asks distractedly. She doesn't care much about this, but if it gives her a nugget of information that she can hold over Charlie for a while she'll pretend to still listen to him.

"Yeah, but there's nothing against the dumbass tax, also known as the 'you pissed me off today' tax."

'I see.'

"And since when are you so interested in my pricing structure? Don't you have more important things to worry about? Like world domination? Taking over a small country?"

'To do all that I need to become a partner and that means bringing business into the firm. So, what do I have to do to get you to sign with me and my firm?'

"I don't know that seems expensive, would I get the friends and family discount?"

'I don't have friends and family is a relative term. You're already worth 30 million dollars, though most of your assets are in your yachts and business holdings. I'll draw up the paperwork and send it over to you later today. I'll expect your signature right away.' Frannie grins

"Wait—you're worth how much?" Brittany's jaw drops and she immediately holds out her hand. "I want to go to the movies with Mike later, give me money."

Charlie stares at Brittany's hand and then rolls his eyes. "I'm not dad. Also, I only have about two thousand dollars in my spending account so—it's not like I've got a pool filled with gold coins to jump into."

'He's lying to you, I've taken a look at your bank statements, most of your money is in various investments and you have close to two million dollars in your savings account just sitting there.'

"It's my retirement fund—how are you getting my bank statements?"

'Let's not even begin to look at your rainy-day fund—'

"Again, how do you have access to my accounts?"

'Lucas is your financial guy; how do you think I have access? You know he bitches about how you use his shit when you can afford your own.'

Charlie groans. He can't stand his family sometimes. "Please, Lucas convinced me to pay for apartment in the city where we'll be roommates. He hasn't paid a dime in rent! And he got the bigger bedroom so I get to use his shit."

"You don't even live in the city," Brittany points out. "You have one more year at Yale and Quinn plans to start paying you for rent eventually. Anyway Frannie, he really likes her and he needs to take her on a date. Santana's sophisticated—"

'So, what's she doing with him?'

Brittany eyed Charlie and reached to mess up his longish hair. "I don't know—"

"You both suck."

"—but he needs to take her on a proper date, because he only took her to watch dolphins to get in her pants."

"No, I didn't! And she was trying to get in my pants—" Charlie intercedes.

'Probably didn't take her that long, you're not known for keeping your pants on for long. Maybe I should call Lucas—since we're going to be giving you advice on how to act like a normal human being for more than two minutes.' Frannie hummed as she added her younger brother to the call, at this time it certainly beat going over depositions.

"I'm a normal human being and don't tell—'

'Hello?' Lucas's voice entered the mix.

"Hey Quinn! We're all here!" Brittany grinned, she and Rachel were the only ones that got to call him Quinn. Charlie could get away with it too but he rarely used it. It was just like how she was the only person who got away with calling Charlie Chuck, she knew he hated it but he let it slide because he had gotten used to it.

'Your twin needs help with a date—' Frannie

"I don't actually need your help with a date, I took her to feed dolphins!" Charlie insists this was quickly devolving into a nightmare.

"He really likes her Quinn, he's even doing the Charlie like Madonna bit. You know he only does that when he likes a girl." Brittany informs Quinn, "You have to help him. I like Santana."

"It's never come up—"

'Are we really doing this?' Lucas groans. 'You are all aware I have a real job, right? I have better things to worry about than Charlie's love life.'

"Thanks Luke."

'Don't call me that.' Lucas snaps at his brother. For that, Charlie had lost any sympathy Lucas might have given him. 'And if you want to find a girl that wants anything more than a booty call, you've got to quit being such an asshole all the time.'

'That still doesn't answer the question on how he's going to impress her. Truthfully I just know I want front row seats to watch him implode.'

"I'll take videos." Brittany promised.

"I hate all of you. Now I've actually got to get back to work," Charlie shakes his head as he moves to end the call, he pauses for a moment. Santana was entering the lion's den without any preparation, he should at least tell his Frannie to be nice, but she had thrown him to the wolves. It was only fair that he do the same. "She's going to meet you and the parental units next week, I'd rather not have her find out that I'm related to any of you."

Brittany scowls, "When you say it like that, it makes you sound like you're—"

'Ashamed of us. I mean when you're the one that does all the embarrassing shit.' Lucas finishes for Brittany.

"I am. Deeply embarrassed of this family, you're all a bunch of weirdos," Charlie sniffed indignantly. "Frannie's a bitch, you're a douchebag Lucas, and Brittany is a—" Charlie stops and rolls his eyes when Brittany's lower lip quivers. He wouldn't get away with calling Brittany a space case with all of his siblings in the same room. "Look, I have to go do actual work—so I'm going to go. So—" Charlie hangs up and leans back in his chair, before pausing and realizing that Brittany was still in his office. "What are you still doing here?"

"Mike needs a job and you're going to hire him," Brittany says cheerfully. "Or I'm going to tell Santana everything. Also, I need a hundred bucks to go to the movies with Mike. We're both broke, and dad said I could only use the credit card for emergencies." Brittany hummed grinning when Charlie's eye twitched. Their dad did say to find a way to earn money and extorting Charlie was going to be easy. She was surprised that both Frannie and Lucas hadn't figured it out yet.