"Cartoon Royal Rumble"
Rated T
Summary: 80 men/women from your favorite cartoons will battle it out in a battle royal for a chance at $1,000,000! It's all out mayhem and anarchy in the first ever Cartoon Royal Rumble!
Disclaimer: I especially do not own anything associated with Cartoon Network, Disney, Fox's Animation Domination, Nickelodeon, Adult Swim, Hub Network or anything animated whatsoever. Or not to mention the fact that I don't own WWE or TNA.
P.S.: The list of characters I have will be random, so you won't know who'll show up in this match. Once again, I don't own.
Chapter 13: Turning Up the Heath Yet Again
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #49: Glenn Quagmire (Family Guy)
As the horn sounded for the repeatable 49th time, a man dressed in a red Hawaiian shirt came out of the curtain and began strutting down the aisle. He took his time checking out the honeys at ringside, saying 'All right' every chance he got.
"Well, this is no surprise," J.R. replied, "It's Glenn Quagmire of 'Family Guy' fame!"
"Looks like he's taking his sweet time trying to make it in the ring." Jonesy nodded.
"More like he's taking his time flirting with anyone he sees." J.R. nodded as well.
As Quagmire was going around all four corners of ringside checking out every hot babe, Justin was busy delivering a barrage of punches straight to Alejandro's face!
"Wow, Justin's going all out on Alejandro!" Jonesy exclaimed.
"Justin proving to Alejandro that he's more sexier than him," J.R. commented, "And it's in the form of fists nonetheless!
"So far, the momentum's on the Hawaiian now." added Jonesy.
While Justin began to beat down on him some more, he saw Razor coming through Justin's way. Knowing this, Justin managed to backflip onto Alejandro's chest, and pulled off a sick middle rope moonsault, converting into a DDT!
"WOW! Incredible move by Justin!" J.R. said, shaking in his glasses.
"Ah, dude," Jonesy chuckled, "Justin came here to win and it's showing!"
As Alejandro began to clutch his chest in pain, Quagmire finally entered the ring after checking out the honeys at ring.
But when he got to the ring, he went one on one with Heather. Seeing that gorgeous Asian body in his eyes, Quagmire decided to pull off his usual tricks.
"Hey, good looking," Quagmire said to Heather, "You from out of town? Because you got me turning Japanese!"
"Wow, that's a horrible pick-up line." Jonesy muttered, finding Quagmire's joke unamusing.
"I hear ya..." J.R. muttered as well.
Heather felt offended by Quagmire's comment. So in response...
...
...Heather bitch-slapped Quagmire right in the face!
"YEOUCH!" Jonesy cringed, "That's gotta bite!"
"I'm afraid Heather might have broken Quagmire's jaw with that slap!" J.R. exclaimed.
"I'm thinking Quagmire may need to re-stitch his jaw together!" Jonesy chuckled.
Unfortunately, that slap cost Quagmire big time. Suddenly, Alejandro didn't like what Quagmire said to his 'mi amor'. Bending up his anger, the Latin liar grabbed Quagmire from the back of his shirt and tossed him over the top rope and onto the floor.
"Well, nice knowing you, Quagmire!" J.R. chuckled.
"That was huge mistake for him!" Jonesy exclaimed, "He's definitely not gonna take it very well!"
40th Eliminated: Glenn Quagmire; Eliminated by: Alejandro Burromuerto; Duration: 0:21
As Quagmire began complaining to the referees that he didn't get one single chance, Heath Burns and Hunter Huntsman were busy trying to lift up Geoff for a double suplex.
"We got ourselves a little double teaming going on!" Jonesy exclaimed.
"Heath and Hunter are gonna try to get the Party Boy up their shoulders!" J.R. exclaimed as well.
But before the flame-bringer and the archer could even lift him up, Geoff countered and executed an impressive double DDT!
"Excellent double DDT from the Party Boy himself!" Jonesy exclaimed.
"That's enough to cause you a headache or two!" J.R. nodded.
While both Heath and Hunter were recovering, the Rumble clock lighted up again, indicating the arrival of number 50.
"We're up to number 50, J.R.," Jonesy replied, "Who's got it?"
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT*
Entrant #50: Slappy Squirrel (Animaniacs)
As the horn sounded, a gray squirrel with a green hat and a flower on top of her head rushed down the aisle. She even had her purse with her as well.
"Oh, man," Jonesy chuckled, "Just when things get nutty, here she comes!"
"It's Slappy Squirrel from the cartoon 'Animaniacs'," J.R. commented, "Business is definitely about to pick up!"
As Slappy got to the ring, he was approached by Heather, who didn't look too intimidated by her.
"What the heck are you gonna do, hit me with your silly little purse?" Heather laughed at Slappy's face.
Irritated, Slappy gave Heather words of her own, "See for yourself!"
And then suddenly, Slappy hit Heather in the head with a purse, that happened to have a brick stuffed inside it!
"Oh my god!" Jonesy cringed.
"A hit like that is enough to cause a migraine," J.R. nodded, "And by gawd, Heather felt it!"
Slappy was just getting started. She then started hitting Geoff, Razor and Alejandro with the purse for good measure. Slappy was in a total state of frenzy.
"Slappy's completely dog-gone insane!" J.R. cried out.
"Forget this, J.R.," Jonesy said, "I know who my favorite is in the Rumble now, and it's definitely that squirrel!"
As Slappy was looking for somebody to unleash her rage, both Flash Sentry and Monty Monogram were giving each other headlocks at the apron, trying to find out who would get eliminated first.
"Looks like either Flash or Monty could be outta here!" Jonesy exclaimed.
"Talk about a huge tug-of-war going on!" J.R. nodded.
As both Flash and Monty were struggling to eliminate one another, Justin suddenly came up from behind! And with great strength, he managed to get both men over the top rope and onto the floor, eliminating them to a standing ovation!
"Whoa, looks like Justin decided to eliminate both of them!" Jonesy exclaimed again.
"Talk about two for one, Jonesy," J.R. nodded yet again, "Both Flash and Monty are gone from the Rumble!"
41st Eliminated: Flash Sentry; Eliminated by: Justin; Duration: 21:32
42nd Eliminated: Monty Monogram; Eliminated by: Justin; Duration: 18:32
While both Flash Sentry and Monty Monogram left in total disappointment, Dan from "Dan Vs." suddenly bolted out of the curtain again, got in the ring, and started beating down Hunter Huntsman!
"Oh, come on!" J.R. whined, "Haven't we seen enough of this already?"
"Apparently, Dan wants to be in the Rumble again so badly!" Jonesy exclaimed again.
"The rules are you can only get in once," J.R. groaned, "And after you're eliminated, you're gone for the remainder of the Rumble."
"Quite frankly, he's not getting your message well enough!"
As Dan started pummeling the face of Hunter, somebody hopped from the black barricade, got in the ring and yanked Dan's hair. This forced the malcontent to finally latch off Hunter Huntsman for the moment.
Quite surprisingly, the camera managed to get a good look at the attacker, which was Hunter's secret girlfriend and 'Ever After High' student, Ashlynn Ella!
"Wait a minute," Jonesy said, looking at the attacker far away, "I don't remember her!"
"Apparently, that's Ashlynn Ella from 'Ever After High'," J.R. identified her, "And just like Hunter, she's also a nature lover!"
"A tree-hugging freak like her ain't even in the Rumble!" Jonesy snarled.
"Maybe," J.R. nodded, "But that isn't stopping her from protecting her man like that!"
The hair-yanking was too much for Dan who decided to roll back outside of the ring. Seeing this, Ashlynn rolled out of the ring as well, chasing Dan to the entrance stage and all the way to the back.
"Hopefully," J.R. sighed, "That's the last time we'll ever see Dan again."
"I'm certain we won't, J.R." Jonesy groaned again.
Meanwhile, Dan's little run-in wasted time as the countdown clock ticked, leading to it's next entrant in the match.
"Here comes number 51," J.R. replied, "Who will it be?"
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #51: "T-Bone" Chance Furlong (SWAT Kats)
As the horn sounded, a humanoid cat came through the curtain and was greeted by the LA crowd. He was dressed exactly like Razor, who smiled at his partner far away.
"Oh man, is this gonna be exciting!" Jonesy exclaimed.
"I feel it too," J.R. nodded, "Razor's got himself some backup!"
"With both SWAT Kats in the ring, they're gonna be unstoppable to beat!" Jonesy replied.
As T-Bone got into the ring, he high-fived Razor. And then, they started going to work immediately by double dropkicking Alejandro!
"Excellent maneuver from the SWAT Kats!" J.R. exclaimed.
"That'll knock Al down a peg!" Jonesy nodded.
The SWAT Kats then focused on Geoff, in which T-Bone took Geoff down with a body slam. In addition, he picked Razor up with a back suplex, and dropped him down on Geoff with a leg drop!
"Wow, what a bone-crushing leg drop!" Jonesy exclaimed, "That's gotta fracture your jaw!"
"Too bad Geoff might wanna re-stitch his jaw after this!" J.R. cringed.
While the SWAT Kats was still rolling with momentum, Hunter Huntsman had managed to get Heath Burns over the top rope. But frankly, Heath managed to hold on to the middle rope for leverage.
Seeing this, Hunter Huntsman put his foot around Heath's fruit basket and tried to push him off.
"Uh-oh, we could saying goodbye to the freak with the crappy fire hair!" Jonesy chuckled.
"It almost looks like it's gonna happen!" J.R. nodded.
Hunter managed to push Heath off the apron successfully...
...only for Heath to hang upside down with his feet on the lower rope. Heath was dangerously close from touching the floor.
"Heath's out-no wait a minute!" J.R. cried out.
"That freak's feet is hanging on to the lower rope!" Jonesy cried out again.
"He's dangerously close from hitting the floor as it is!" J.R. exclaimed.
Hunter tried his best to push Heath off again, but out of nowhere...
...
...Heath managed to stretch out and pull out a fire extinguisher. As soon as Hunter was about to push him to the floor, Heath took the extinguisher and blasted it in his face!
"Whoa, what a shot from Heath!" J.R. said, leaping out of his seat!
"That freak managed to fight him off!" Jonesy replied.
"Yeah, but will Heath get back in from upside down?" J.R. raised an eyebrow.
Carefully, Heath managed to reach to the lower rope with his hands. And just like a snail, he gently managed to roll back to the ring, much to a roaring applause.
"And Heath has managed to save himself from elimination again!" J.R. exclaimed.
"Is no one ever gonna get rid of him," Jonesy groaned, "He's like a spider monkey being lit on frickin' fire!"
Meanwhile, Slappy Squirrel decided to leap on Justin's back and tried to rake his eyes. But it was a huge mistake as Justin managed to turn the smartmouth squirrel over in a Samoan Drop position.
"Uh oh," Jonesy chuckled, "Bad place, wrong time, Slappy!"
"She's gonna get cracked like a walnut!" J.R. exclaimed.
Holding Slappy across his shoulders, Justin grabbed her by the neck and spun her around, landing a huge TKO neckbreaker!
"Good gawd, what an impact!" J.R. cringed in pain.
"Slappy just went into eternal hibernation there!" Jonesy cringed as well.
"Who knows which carnage is gonna happen next?" J.R. replied.
As the SWAT Kats tried to throw Heather through the top rope while she hung on, the Rumble clock was displayed on the titantron. The people around LA all stood up to see number 52 come out at the count of 10.
"Oh, man... were down to number 52 now, J.R!" Jonesy smirked.
"Yes we are," J.R. nodded yet again, "Who will enter the most quickest and rowdiest Rumble in history?"
Ooooh, number 52 oughta be a good one, I can tell. Anyway, here's what we got left so far:
Entrants still in the ring: Alejandro Burromuerto, Geoff, Heath Burns, Heather, Hunter Huntsman, Justin, "Razor" Jake Clawson, Slappy Squirrel and "T-Bone" Chance Furlong
Eliminated so far: Buford Van Stomm, Beavis, Plucky Duck, Jonesy Garcia, Peter Griffin, Muscle Man, SpongeBob SquarePants,
Bubbles, Lightning, Timmy's Dad, Timmy Turner, George Liquor American, Homer Simpson, Edd, Chris, Sam, Dan, Spike, The Great And Powerful Trixie, Phineas Flynn, Uncle Ruckus, Stewie Griffin, Butt-Head, Sunset Shimmer, Abbey Bominable, Randy Marsh, Brock Samson,
Carl Brutananadilewski, Spectra Vondergeist, Buster Bunny, Milhouse Van Houten, Ice King, Twilight Sparkle, Jude Lizowski, Duncan, Vanessa Doofenshmirtz, Frankie Stein, Jackson Jekyll/Holt Hyde, Jorgen Von Strangle, Glenn Quagmire, Flash Sentry and Monty Monogram
How long will Geoff stay in the ring, and will Heath Burns's name be mentioned in another chapter again? The answers will be revealed next time, because I like pie. Don't forget to leave feedback as well, bronies and pegasisters! ^_^