"Are you alright, Zelda?" Impa asked. "You've been awfully quiet today."

I looked up at her through red, bleary eyes. My night of sleep could be described as fitful at best. Link's words refused to exit my mind. Not that waking up to a new day was helping. The only clarity it had brought was shame over the way I responded.

"Impa, am I a good person?"

She looked startled at the question. "Of course you are, my princess. And quite frankly, I take issue with anyone who says differently," she said, shooting Link a dirty look.

I should have defended him, but her threat barely even registered as I was so consumed in thought. "But I could be better, right?"

"I suppose," she said warily. "As could we all. But nobody can be perfect."

"I'm not talking perfection." I struggled to phrase what I meant in a way she could understand. "How do you know if you're living up to your potential? Is there any way to know if you're falling short?"

She took a moment to consider my words. "I don't think any of us can know that for sure. All you can do is keep trying your best."

I looked straight ahead and started thinking aloud. "But what if I haven't been trying my best? What if I've grown content with where and who I am? When I compare myself to my peers in court, I feel pretty good, but what if they're the wrong measuring stick? Maybe this whole time I should have been trying for a higher standard."

Impa's face turned sympathetic. "I think you're being too hard on yourself, my dear."

I turned to her and looked at her hard. "You told me years ago that it is the goddess given duty of every citizen to be the best they can be." I paused for a moment as the truth seeped in. "Impa, I think I've been failing my duty."

Impa's eyes were full of sadness. She wanted to comfort me, but she didn't know what to say. That was okay. I preferred silence to false comfort.

My eyes narrowed in focus as I finally admitted what I needed to do. "I want to close the margin between who I am and who I could be."

"How do you plan to do that?"

A bare smile appeared on my face as I admitted, "I'm not sure." The smile disappeared as I found Link ahead of me. "But I suppose I have to start somewhere."

I urged my horse faster to catch up to Link. He flinched when I approached. I wasn't sure if it was because he thought I was going to yell at him again or because I wasn't her.

"Look Link, I…" I sighed. This was harder than I thought. "I'm sorry, okay? I was wrong to say those things, and I was wrong to press you. I should have trusted your judgement. I shouldn't have arranged this trip in the first place. I won't bug you anymore, and we only have to see each other as needed for the rest of the trip. I'm sorry for making you relive that."

I started to pull my horse back to keep my word, when Link called out, "Wait." I whipped my head toward him, but he hadn't turned back, he was still looking straight ahead. "Since we're on this trip together anyway, we can talk if you want. If it's not too much to ask though, would you mind altering your voice and keeping your horse a little back? I'm sure that's rude to ask, especially of a princess, but..."

Excitement rushed through me, his peculiar request notwithstanding. There was so much I wanted to ask him, to learn from him.

"Those terms are perfectly acceptable," I said with a slightly lowered voice.

He stiffened, and I wondered what I'd done now. "Maybe higher instead?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes, but determined it was still worth it to hear about some of his adventures. "You know," I said in voice about a half octave higher than normal, "pushing the limit like this is the reason we have to travel with Sir Rhys."

He scoffed, but my voice didn't seem to throw him this time, so I figured it was fine. "Sir Rhys is an empty threat," he said. "If they were really going to jail me for my insolence, they would have done it my first month in the army."

His words surprised me. I hadn't realized there had been more than the one incident. "What did you do?"

"The first couple of weeks are set aside for basic training, which is all well and good, but after that, you're supposed to specialize in one area. They saw my skill with a bow and wanted me to become an archer, but I fought them. I wanted to be on the front lines, not hiding in the back. I frustrated them, but then I challenged that if any man could beat me in a fight with any other weapon, I'd do what they wanted. They accepted, thinking they could teach me humility.

"They must have thrown about fifteen different guys at me, some that were bigger than me, some that were faster, some that had years more experience. But none of that mattered because none of them were better than me. When I was done, I, uh, ha, was feeling pretty cocky, and I approached the commander and told him to arm me with a sword and shield, bow and quiver, spears, knives, explosives, and any other weapon he had. I told him to load me up, put me at the front, and let me loose. 'Let me show you exactly what I can do,' I said. He finally agreed, I think mostly in the hopes that I'd get myself killed and no longer be his headache.

"Obviously that didn't happen, and now I'm just hoping General Irat finally gives in and recommends me for knighthood."

"Why do you want to be knighted?" I asked. "I mean, any other soldier, I get it, but you could have had that honor or more all those years ago. What changed?"

There was a moment of silence before he said, "I didn't want a title back then because I already had one. Drawing the master sword made me the Hero of Time. Putting a Sir or Lord before my name doesn't really compare to that, does it? I held onto a lot of rage at not being that anymore. I didn't want anything from anyone; I just wanted to sulk.

"But now that I have a little distance from being sent back, I realize that a knighthood comes with freedom I'll never have as a normal soldier. I'll be able to do as I please when I don't have specific orders to fight. It'll be the best situation for everyone."

I nodded, forgetting he couldn't see me. My mind turned back to what he said about being so full of anger. Before I fully realized what I was saying, I asked, "Did you know she was going to send you back?" As soon as the words left my mouth, I wished I could take them back. He wouldn't want to talk to me, even with the limits he imposed, if I kept making him relive that hurt.

I tried to take my words back, but he stopped me. "I'll answer. Yes, I did know."

"Why'd you let her do it then?" I asked, my mouth working faster than my brain. "Could you not stop her?"

There was silence, making me think I'd pushed too far this time. I wished I could see his expression. A couple minutes of worry passed before he finally spoke. "I held the instrument of my undoing in my hands. I could have kept it from her, destroyed it even, and she would have had no way to send me back. She knew I didn't want to go, so she tried to reason with me.

"First, she said she wanted to send me back to retrieve the years that were stolen from me. Like I cared about that. Adolescence is about finding yourself, but I knew who I was, and I was happy with where I was at. So then she argued that if I went back, I could stop Ganondorf before he wrought such evil throughout the land. Everyone who died from his tyranny could have another chance. I could keep this land and its people from all of that destruction.

"That argument had me wavering. It seemed so selfish to stay for my own happiness at the cost of everyone else's. What actually broke my resolve though, was her last plea. 'I won't have to suffer,' she said." Link shook his head as he swallowed hard. "How could I say no after that? She had lost so much, and I had the chance to give it all back. I could save her from all that pain. Her happiness was far more important to me than my own, so I let her send me back."

The defeat in his voice during the last part made my heart swell with sympathy. What an impossible choice to make. It made me even more grateful that my older brother would inherit the throne. I never wanted to have to make those choices between my own happiness and what was best for Hyrule.

"You know what's funny about that whole thing though?" he asked in a tone that led me to believe the answer wouldn't be funny at all. "Even excluding what it did to me, I'm not sure I made the right choice."

I didn't understand his meaning. Taking out what happened to him, everyone was better off for not living through that war. He's the one who had called that world a nightmare.

"How so?"

He laughed a humorless laugh. "Sounds crazy, right? I didn't feel that way when I first got back. In fact, my one solace in coming back was seeing all the suffering I prevented. Men I knew whose only ambition seemed to be to drink themselves to death after losing their families were working again, playing with their kids, loving their wives. Every time I saw that, I thought, I did that. It eased the pain at least a little. The results I could see as I left Hyrule were all good.

"But that wasn't a fair comparison, was it? I was comparing the two seven years premature. That thought occurred to me right around the time I decided to come back. I knew it was still a couple years early, but I was excited to see how far all my former friends had come without all the misery those years of war doled out.

"You know what I saw? There was this one guy during the war, one of the hardest workers I've ever met. He lost his wife during the takeover, and seven years later when I met him, he still couldn't stop talking about her. He told me he wanted to be the man she always knew he could be, that he was making up for the years he took her for granted. Though seven years had passed, I never saw him even look at another woman. He was still so in love with her.

"I sat down next to him at a bar about a year ago, asked him about his life. All he did was complain about his wife always nagging him and not accepting him for who he was. The next night I caught him cheating on her. I guess he wasn't kidding about taking her for granted.

"This other guy, Paul; he saved my life. He was born some kind of noble, but nobility ceased to mean anything after the takeover. Regardless, he was a leader, and I had the highest respect for him. He made sure anyone who fought by him was taken care of.

"But he's a noble now; he's never known anything different. When I tried to talk to him, he didn't want anything to do with me. Apparently he doesn't associate with low status people like me.

"During the war, I watched people take complete strangers into their homes just because they had nowhere else to go. Here I watch people avert their eyes as they pass the homeless. Back there I watched former enemies fight side by side. Here I watch families start blood feuds for the pettiest reasons.

"I could make a whole list of examples like that. And the more I've seen, the more my opinion on suffering has changed. I used to think that saving someone from suffering was the most noble thing a person could do. But now... What if that means stifling a person's growth? What if that means making a person worse than they could be? I'm beginning to believe that suffering is a necessary part of growth. Not in the obvious we all have to face challenges to learn and grow way, but I think people who are naturally strong, people who have the most potential, they can't reach it without experiencing true pain. Pain purifies the best of us."

Every sentence he uttered stung my heart. He masked his meaning behind stories of others, but I had no doubt I was at the forefront of his mind when he spoke of prevented suffering stifling a person's growth. The strongest, the best need it? Hadn't he called her the most amazing person he had ever met? I was that wasted potential. But did I have to be?

"So you believe a person can't become better by choice but only circumstance?"

Try as I might, I couldn't quite keep the desperation out of my voice. I needed so badly for him to deny it.

"No." I let out a sigh of relief. "I suppose with enough desire and will, a person could better themselves. But that path's a lot harder. It's so easy to grow complacent with where we are, and complacency is the enemy of progress. Most people need a reason to change, and I think more often than not, pain is the best catalyst. We improve either when we challenge ourselves or when challenges meet us, but most of us are more than willing to wait. Self-improvement sounds nice and all, but it's easy to balk when the realities of everyday life get in the way."

I pondered his words for a moment. "So if I wanted to change..."

Link stiffened as if he just realized our conversation was not purely theoretical. "I said what I did only because you pressed. Forget it. You're fine as you are."

Indignation ran through my body. "And if I don't want to settle for fine?" I heard a sharp intake of breath and realized I forgot to higher my voice for the question. I rolled my eyes. What a baby. "I'm not doing this on your account, so relax. But it seems you've given this topic a fair amount of thought, so answer me this. What is the greatest obstacle to my improvement in your mind?"

Though I couldn't see his face, I could feel him internally debating whether or not to answer me. Then his shoulders slumped slightly and I knew I'd won. "The castle," he said.

His answer surprised me. "What do you mean?"

"In the castle you are protected, sheltered. There are limitations on the experiences you can have, on the people you can meet. You can't grow in that kind of environment, not more than you already have anyway. You really want to become better? You'll have to challenge yourself in ways you've never experienced. You can't do that from the confines of your castle."

I knew he had thought about it. Though his answer distressed me. The castle was my home, I'd never known any other. The longest I'd ever been away was less than two weeks. Could I really leave it indefinitely? Could I even get permission?

Amidst all my trepidation, I heard Link's voice in my head. You're a mere shadow of her. My resolve strengthened. Of course this would be hard. There would always be a million reasons to give up, to decide I was good enough. If I truly wanted to reach my potential, I couldn't bow to any of them.

The task of becoming better was so vague that I decided to specify. My father always told me that the best way to improve at something was to measure your progress, so I decided to write down the areas I wanted to work on. I wrote Patience, Humility, Service, and Superficiality across the page. Those are the qualities Link mentioned that made the other Zelda superior in his mind. Not that I was trying to be her; I never could be nor did I want to. I never wanted to suffer as she did, no matter Link's thoughts on the matter.

I wrote those four qualities over and over, leaving a paragraph's worth of space between them. I planned to fill these sheets at the end of each day, marking my progress in each category. I still had a lot to figure out, but at least it was a start.

Ruto was waiting to greet me when we arrived the next day. If there weren't others around, I would have skipped formality and hugged her in greeting, but as it was, I lowered myself into a practiced curtsy. Sir Ralis bowed while Link rested a fist over his heart and lowered his head in the customary Zora gesture of respect.

Ruto's eyes flashed in surprised recognition when she saw Link. I suppose that shouldn't have come as a shock. He did live here for a few months, and Zora royalty lived among their people. How well they knew each other was a mystery to be solved at another time.

After greeting each other, the day passed by quickly. There were so many formalities for even a simple visit like this. And as much as I liked Ruto, her father could never do anything fast. I wasn't sure he knew the meaning of the word. The welcome he arranged for me was very thoughtful and appreciated, but I was incredibly grateful when he was finally called away to attend to affairs of state.

His departure meant Ruto and I could finally be alone (my companions had all enviably found excuses to leave much earlier). She dismissed everyone else, and we could finally act like the friends we were.

"Remember," I asked as soon as there was no one within earshot, "when we were younger and we could run off together after the most basic introductions?"

Ruto nodded with a nostalgic smile. "Fondly. Though today was excessive. My father really wants to make sure you return with a glowing report of your treatment while in our care. The war to the south has been creeping closer to us, making him nervous. He wants to ensure the continued alliance between our nations in case we are dragged into the conflict."

My lips turned down in a frown. "I've only heard the conflict in the south described as skirmishes."

A few emotions flashed through her eyes, including what I thought were surprise and envy. "Things have escalated. Your father and brother are fully apprised of the situation, no doubt. But you didn't come here to talk politics." Her ultra-thin eyebrows furrowed. "Actually, I don't know why you are here."

I laughed wryly. "Can't I just want to visit my friend whom I haven't seen in over a year?"

Ruto's mouth quirked. "Sure."

I relented under her unbelieving gaze. "Another poorly thought out scheme gone wrong. I'd rather not talk about it."

She nodded in assent and said, "Though I very much doubt it was poorly thought out. You've always been quite the brilliant schemer. But we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. Instead, let's talk about the fact that the hero from your stories all those years ago is your bodyguard."

My eyebrows shot up in surprise. I had told her that story years ago with only a brief description of how he looked. "You recognize him?"

"The boy clad in green who shows no fear? He may not wear that same tunic now, but he lived in our domain for six months in that awful garb. It didn't take long for me to suspect he was the boy from your stories. He's matured since he lived with us, but not beyond recognition. Though I must admit, I'm hurt. After all the time I spent listening to you go on about him, you don't let me know that he came back to you?"

A bitter laugh escaped my throat. "Oh Ruto, always imagining romance when it doesn't exist. Did you not notice the way Link basically refuses to look at me? The only feelings he has towards me are those of resentment. He's here because my father commanded it, nothing more."

I could see all the questions bubbling inside her, but with an uncharacteristic amount of self-control, she pushed them down, sparing me the uncomfortable topic. "Then he is even dumber than I thought possible. At least I have sense enough to cherish your company for as long as you're here. When do you return to Castletown?"

I smiled in gratitude. Ruto was a good friend. Though my smile disappeared as I considered her question. "I don't know that I will."

Ruto's eyes narrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"

I looked deep into her eyes, willing her to understand the feelings that still had me confused. "I'm not sure I understand who I am anymore," I confessed. "I've always been so sure of myself, of my purpose. But now..." I shook my head. "I wonder if maybe I'm more than I've become. Have you ever felt like that?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I'm the next ruler of my people. That's always been enough for me. Though to be honest, I've always been a little jealous of you."

I raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Truly?"

"You've lived with all the perks of royal life without the weight of responsibility of being heir. You have your father, the most powerful man in the land, completely wrapped around your finger. He'll never marry you off against your will. Can you not see why, to an observer at least, your life seems blessed?"

"Maybe that's the problem. I've been so sheltered my whole life. I think I need to experience life away from my father's protection."

I could see she didn't understand, that she thought me foolish, but she didn't voice any of those thoughts. "So where will you go?"

I looked down at the ground. "I haven't planned that far. I want to go somewhere I won't be recognized, somewhere I can be useful. I want to go somewhere I'll be challenged."

"That doesn't sound like a place your father would allow you to go."

A smile played at my lips. "Details."

Ruto couldn't help the chuckle that left her throat. She'd heard those words every time I had some new grand scheme when we were younger. "I suppose your rebellious phase is long overdue. Though yours sounds much less fun than mine."

I grinned. "You mean becoming infatuated with any and every man you couldn't have? I'll take mine, thanks."

Her mouth turned down in a mock frown. "Be nice. Otherwise I won't help you."

I raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Help me?"

Ruto's face held a look of triumph. "You're looking for a place where you won't be recognized, where you can be useful, and where you'll be challenged?" Her smirk spread. "I think I've just figured out your details."

7/21

Patience: Severely tested today. King Zora was even more tedious than usual. I didn't say anything, but I thought many unkind things, and I often looked at Ruto in exasperation.

Humility: I left Link alone today. I was urged to command him several times out of pride, but I held back.

Service: I dropped a few coins in a beggar's cup. The act is so small, I hesitate to include it, but nothing else comes to mind.

Superficiality: Ruto and I spoke of many shallow things today. If anything, I regressed.

Conclusions: Any progress I made is miniscule. Must try harder tomorrow.

A/N: Sorry this took me so long. I debated with myself for awhile whether the Ruto part should be in this chapter or the next, but ultimately I decided I want to turn this into a full story, so I see no reason to wait. I haven't written a story so philosophical before, so please let me know if you have any questions or if anything I wrote was unclear.

I really didn't expect much of a response to this story, so I really appreciate all the positive feedback so far. In my other story, Strangers, I could usually guess the parts people would like/dislike, but I honestly have no clue for this one, so I'd love to know your thoughts. Thanks so much for reading.