AN: Saturday turned to be a little busier than today so I decided to post this one now :) Hope you enjoy!
John thawed as the night wore on. Especially when she subjected him to a random trivia quiz again and his knowledge of a little bit of everything was on par with hers. His intellect stimulated hers as much as his good looks appealed to her. Too bad she was a blimp and he was hung up on his dead ex-girlfriend or they could have tried a date or two out. That and if she wasn't on the run from a criminal mastermind who wanted to use her as a way to lure out her estranged husband.
Apparently John wasn't too used to being indoors as he stalked around the apartment just as he had in the motel room. That or he was in need of alcohol.
She looked at him as he stood up after watching some mindless television with her and moved restlessly to the window. "Is it bad?" she asked quietly.
"Is what bad?"
"The alcohol withdrawal; is it bad?" she clarified.
He looked at her abruptly. "No, not really, I wasn't drinking because I had to," he stated flatly.
"You were drinking because you wanted the alcohol to numb you from what you were feeling."
He didn't respond because he needn't as they both knew the answer to that.
It was time dinner should be made and she wiggled to get up from the plush, and extremely comfortable, couch. He watched her and frowned. "Why are you getting up?" he asked.
She huffed. The way he asked it, you'd think she was doing something unthinkable. "It's almost dinner time and you have already done so much with taking me to Harold, getting us this place to stay for a little while, and getting us an artillery though you've been extremely sketchy on the means of the last one. It's only fair that I am the one to make dinner," she explained reasonably.
"I'll make dinner," he countered.
Joss stopped her wiggling in surprise. "You can cook?" she asked, not bothering to conceal her astonishment.
A ghost of a smile tilted his lips up. "I'm a single man. Eating out all the time wasn't appealing so I picked up a thing or two over my travels. I'm no Paula Deen but I do okay," he replied amused.
Joss slowly gave him a perusal. He was definitely no Paula Deen! "Does it taste good?" she inquired, tempted to let him cook just to taste it.
His tiny smile grew into a real genuine one and Joss was struck by the beautifulness of it. His whole face transformed and he looked so carefree, young, and virile.
"I guess we will see if it tastes good or not," he murmured, trying not to gloat.
"What can you cook?" she asked, wondering if his meals were limited to simple dishes.
He shrugged. "It depends on what Harold has on hand for us," he muttered. "Sit tight and I'll get started."
Unable to do as he suggested Joss got to her feet and followed him into the kitchen. John was rummaging around looking in the pantry, refrigerator, and turned when he heard her. She met his gaze. "I just can't sit while you're making us dinner. Give me something to do," she insisted. Joss would slowly go insane if she had nothing to do.
John nodded as he pulled out ingredients to make a salad for a side dish. "Here you can cut and make our salad."
"Our salad is going with what?" she asked trying to draw it out of him, hating surprises.
He looked at her and grinned making her knees a little weak but she resolutely attributed the weak feeling to hunger pangs in her stomach. "You'll see," John answered being purposely vague.
"Or you can tell me now. I might not like what you'll make," she pointed out.
"Seeing that you're pregnant and eating for two I doubt what I'll make isn't something you could find enjoyment in," he argued back, teasing at the same time.
Joss frowned. "I know my excuse but what were you, the captain of your debate team?" she demanded, though enjoying the verbal sparring match. She hadn't had anything to enjoy in a while.
He didn't respond nor did his smile slip from his face. Joss proceeded to cut the lettuce and kale up while discreetly watching him pull out chicken from the freezer. But chicken could be made into anything. He put it in the microwave to nuke it and she watched as he pulled out more and more ingredients that made less and less sense.
Joss performed her task of making their salad with ease before moving onto the new task she gave herself: to set the table, which was done after finding the right cabinet and drawers for the plates and silverware. She poured them each a glass of Ginger Ale which was on hand. She couldn't wait until Taylor came so she could drink more than one measly cup of coffee as her motor ran off of the delicious bitter brew.
As he prepped and prepared she realized he was making a handmade sauce. "We're having chicken parmesan," she stated rather than asked. He nodded. "With homemade sauce," she added in admiration. She never had homemade sauce for anything before.
"Yes…."
"Oh now you're just spoiling me but who am I to argue with it."
The smile earlier filled his face again but he didn't respond. Joss found some bread and after a good hour or so, her stomach growling embarrassingly so, they were finally ready to eat. Joss shoveled her fork full of food into her mouth and moaned.
"This beats out Presto and Ragu any day of the week," she murmured after swallowing the delicious chicken and sauce.
They ate in amicable silence. She wanted to dig in and learn more about John but she had the uncanny ability of knowing when to push for more and when not to, and right now it was filed under 'not to'. Especially since she didn't want to ruin the meal he made so she just ate quietly.
After dinner was done and she insisted on cleaning up the table which was met with resistance, you'd think she was the first woman to ever be pregnant in the whole world, but after dishes they retired in the spacious living room to enjoy a little basketball. It was lopsided and she began to tire. Perhaps it was time to make a couple calls because she didn't want her mom or Lionel worrying about her, which they probably were.
"I'm going to make a couple calls and then turn in early for the evening." she said gently.
John looked away from the screen. "You don't owe me an explanation Joss. And I don't need your company."
Joss narrowed her eyes on him. He sounded stiff which was completely different from the way he was just a few minutes ago. He wasn't very talkative but she attributed that with what she knew about him. But when he did talk he had interesting things to say and she wanted to get him to open up a little more. So during their baseball game something crawled up inside John's ass. And she suspected she knew what. John seemed, to her, at least, drawing inward. She could almost feel it as they sat next to each other on the comfortable couch. Freeze everyone out; let the darkness looming around you in as your only companion, so you never feel again. And never hurt again.
She simply said; "Goodnight, John, I'll see you in the morning." Joss would lull him into a sense of complacency and then hit him when he wasn't ready for it.
After several moments he responded with a soft 'goodnight' in return. Joss wiggled up and moved towards the glorious master bedroom. She kind of felt weird taking someone else's bed as she was but this would be a much better bed to sleep in than that lumpy motel bed. Leaving the door open just in case she wanted to get a late night snack and a glass of milk she sat down in the middle of the bed, after changing into her jammies, with her new burner phone.
First she called her mom and got an earful. Joss felt all kinds of guilt for not calling her sooner, for making her worry, and for lying about why she was on a different phone. But it was feasible that she lost her phone and a friend was loaning theirs to her for the time being. This was her first grandchild and probably only grandchild so she was about as nervous as Joss was. Asking to make sure no one unsavory or Paul had come to visit her was difficult without alerting her momma to her problem. Joss didn't want her mom upset. Her health wasn't that great and worrying about her would only serve to raise her blood pressure even more.
Then she called Fusco. "Where the hell have you been, Carter?" he demanded the immediate moment he knew who called.
"I'll call in tomorrow. Did you tell the captain I was out working on a case today?" she asked quietly, praying he covered for her. She had no means of calling into work or asking for personal leave. Involving the precinct at this time would only serve to cause more problems since she didn't know who was in Elias's back pocket.
"Yes, but, what the hell is going on?! It's not like you to not come into work and I went by your place this morning and it was trashed." Lionel asked, concern made his usual sarcastic humor she enjoyed disappear.
Joss leaned against the pillows rubbing her stomach absently as she talked. "Did you tell anyone?" she asked instead of explaining.
"No, I wanted too, but I didn't want to worry anyone if your deadbeat ex came by and trashed your place. I know you think no one likes you but everyone has been watching your back due to your pregnancy," he muttered.
She smiled. Lionel was such a loyal friend and she was sure he was probably the one that browbeat everyone into protecting her. Lionel and Shaw were the only two people she could call friends. Well, maybe John was a friend too…a reluctant and unwilling friend, but her friend nonetheless.
"Good, don't tell anyone. I'll call in tomorrow and ask for the next week or two off, for personal reasons. I've accrued enough sick and personal days off to take the next month off if I want," Joss murmured. She had plans of working up til right before Taylor came and go on maternity leave but thanks to Paul double crossing Elias it seemed she was going to have some extra time off.
Lionel let out a frustrated sigh. "Now that you have your plan of action; do you mind actually telling me what the hell is going on?"
"Remember how I told you that Paul was working with Elias?" she said quietly, as if someone could overhear her conversation.
"You mean, you're completely off the books investigation into your loser husband, and if caught by the captain you'd be suspended, that conversation?" he replied.
Joss made a face that he couldn't see. "That one, well, my informant was right, he was. But Paul screwed over Elias and got one of his friend's murdered, and Paul slithered off into the night so guess who Elias is after to lure Paul out into the open?"
"Carter, get your ass here so I can get some uniforms on you!" Fusco barked instantly.
"I can't Fusco; I don't know who is aligned with Elias. He's got people in places and that includes in our precinct so that's why I need you to keep what I just told you between us," she explained.
"No offense, Carter, but have you looked in the mirror…if Elias is after you he'll find you because you can't exactly move all that fast anymore," Fusco said as gently as he could, to lighten the blow.
Joss glared. "You know by telling someone not to 'take offense' doesn't make it sound any better Lionel," she growled. Of course she knew she waddled instead of walked. She was nearly nine months pregnant; she'd like to see him try to move around carrying a ten pound baby!
"I'm just saying Carter; I can help you."
Now she smiled gently. "I know that Lionel. But I'm safe. John's helping me and…"
"John, John who?" Lionel cut in.
Who indeed, and Joss shifted uncomfortably on the bed as she tried to think up an adequate description of John, without using the adjectives of gorgeous, sexy, surly, grumpy or anything of the like. "Uh, well, there's a little bit more to my predicament than I told you." she admitted tightly, knowing that Lionel was going to flip his lid.
"And what is this little bit more you need to tell me?"
Joss heaved out a breath and proceeded to tell him that she had suspicions that there was a bounty on her head and how she met John in the subway, and that they went on the run together. After she finished she waited a good five minutes of listening to silence before she decided to make sure Lionel hadn't left the building.
"Lionel?" she asked.
"Let me get this straight Carter; you tell me you're safe but you're with a suicidal hobo as your only means of protection?" Lionel demanded incredulously.
"John won't hurt me," she reassured him. When Fusco said nothing she added; "Lionel, if John wanted to hurt me or leave me stranded he could have already done so. But he's been the perfect gentleman. He's just nursing a broken heart and his soul needs a little time to heal."
"Don't do it, Carter. Not everyone can be saved. I don't want you hurt when you end up with pie in your face. From what you said this guy sounds truly done with life and the only thing that's tethering him to the world right now is your plight."
Joss smiled a little at the concern. "I'll be fine, Lionel, and that's exactly what John needs right now. A reason to live, a reason to get up in the morning, and for now that's to protect me from Elias and any other loser in New York," she continued. "I'm hoping by the time that Elias is taken care of and I'm safe that I've come up with some plan to show John that he could begin a new chapter in his life."
"Carter…"
"I'll be fine," she repeated, this time much more forcefully. "And you won't talk me out of it. It's the only way I can handle receiving this kind of help from John if I can save him in return."
Lionel sighed heavily. "I know better to argue with you since it never does me anything," he muttered, sounding resigned.
"You can still try but it won't matter. I'm going to save John from himself," she offered with a smile filling her face and voice.
"Just check in with me, please, often. And if there is anything I can do to help you don't hesitate to call me!" he requested, and after she reassured him she would he seemed to be a little more relieved. "Guess what, Carter."
"What?"
"Anton O'Mara, his pops, and several of his little buddies all got shot with their own merchandise earlier this afternoon."
Joss knew it would be big news around the precinct. "Are they dead?" she asked hesitant to know the answer. She hoped John hadn't murdered anyone.
"Nah, but embarrassed though as they got taken out by just one guy." Lionel relayed. "Most had blown kneecaps but a couple had metal in their shoulders. Guy cleaned them out too. By the time police arrived he was gone and so were the guns."
Joss couldn't tell Lionel that it was John. The police would want to arrest John and she wanted to protect him. He only did it for her and more importantly John was supposedly dead. If the CIA somehow learn that wasn't the case than they might come back to try to finish what they started.
"Well they got what they deserved," she muttered, yawning. "But I'm beat. I'll call you tomorrow, Lionel."
"Just be careful, Carter," he admonished.
"I will. Now goodnight…."
"'Night, Carter," he responded.
Joss ended the call and set the phone on the nightstand. She stared up at the ceiling as she rubbed her belly lost in thought.
John feigned interest in the basketball game all the way up to the point until Joss disappeared into the bedroom. Then, and only then, did he relax a little. The less time he spent around Joss the better. He was noticing her more and more, and it was unnerving. She was a beautiful woman even more so than Jessica. Jessica, look wise, wasn't really his type. He didn't go for the tall, thin, and leggy blond type. He preferred his woman to have curves, show her femininity, and sensual terrain to run his hands (or tongue) over. Joss, as of now, didn't have a figure as she was almost nine months pregnant but she was still beautiful. And he could bet he knew what her figure was when she wasn't pregnant: curves and more curves, like a beautiful and sexy hourglass. A lush silhouette that was all softness against his hardness; he bet she had the perfect ass and set of hips that sashayed about as she was giving lip. But she wasn't just beautiful, she was intelligent and fascinated him because under the strong and unrelenting courage beat the heart of a vulnerable woman, but don't tell her that or you could eat a fist sandwich. John smiled at the thought, before he scowled at himself. He didn't want to like a single thing about her. He just wanted to help her and then be done…with everything.
But the more he tried to not like her the less it worked and the more frustrated he became. So he resorted to being deliberately cold to her in hopes to intimidate her into keeping her distance, just as he wanted. An unwelcome sight of Joss holding her son, and sheer longing to see it, sprung to his mind causing him to stand up, jerkily run a hand through his short hair. John shut the thoughts off immediately and stalked to the window. He preferred wallowing in despair than thinking about Joss nursing her infant son in the future.
"I need some alcohol," he growled to himself. Yes, some whiskey would surely make these unwanted thoughts go away. It would make everything go away. But it would also lower his reaction time and Joss couldn't afford that, so no alcohol.
John paced the floor before angrily shutting off the TV and decided to go to bed and catch up on some sleep. Sleeping on a cold hard floor for the past few months wasn't easy and sleeping in a bed sounded really good at the moment. So he stalked down the hall to head to the guest bedroom but to get there he had to bypass the master bedroom which Joss left the door open. He wished it was closed. John stopped his impatient movements and frowned. Just don't look in and see her, he told himself. Then, realizing he was standing out before her door like an idiot, because he didn't want to walk by, he scowled and stormed forward, not afraid of the sight of a pregnant woman, but stopped at the sound of her voice.
And unwillingly he looked inside and felt something shift inside him. Joss, sat on the bed, with the light on and had her pajama shirt pulled up just covering her breasts but left the swell of her belly exposed. She was lovingly running a hand over her stomach as she talked to her son. It was a touching scene. He hadn't seen such poignant moments in a long time as he had this last day and a half with Joss. His world was a dark and ugly place until Joss Carter swept him up into her life. But when he heard his name he actually listened in on her.
"You'll like John when you meet him. He's the man that's helping mommy and you. We'll need to thank him for taking such good care of us," she murmured. "How about you give him a big sleepy grin, Taylor?—show him that there are genuine moments of happiness. Mommy wishes she could give John what he so desperately needs."
"And what do I need?" John asked hoarsely.
Joss jumped as she looked up and her hand paused on her stomach. She didn't look embarrassed or angry at being listened in on. "A purpose," she said softly.
John flinched as if he was struck before he staggered back as he realized he stepped towards her, and blindly turned for the guest bedroom to get away from her and all that she symbolized: home.
AN: Thank you for reading!