Author's note

Thank you to all the kind reviewers who have taken the trouble to review so far, more feedback much appreciated.

Chapter 7-Insane

Ginny looked from Draco to Hermione and back.

"What are you doing in here?" Ginny questioned as she looked at Draco her brow furrowed in confusion.

"Looking for Granger," Draco replied that sneer they had not seen for months suddenly evident on his face, "clearly someone forgot to tell me about the 'party'." His face was flushed, to Ginny it appeared to be from anger but Hermione was not sure. Before the spitfire red head could eviscerate him with her temper Draco shoulder barged her and left the room. A few seconds later a slam ricocheted down the corridor as Malfoy's door shuddered on its hinges.

"'Party'," Ginny began about to start a rant but then she realised Hermione had gone very pale, "Hermione what's wrong?"

"We didn't tell him," Hermione replied her face now ashen.

"Didn't tell him what? What are you talking about Hermione?" Ginny asked looking at Hermione as if she had gone insane.

"Ginny he can't leave and we left him her alone without tell him."

"So…," Ginny trailed off as realisation hit her, "do you think he thought we had abandoned him?"

"Merlin knows what he thought Ginny- we should have told him we were leaving." Hermione said shaking her head guilt eating up her inside. That was the reason for his unexpected behaviour he must have been so relieved to see her. But was that really relief? She wondered, or was that something else entirely. The thought that it might be something else should have horrify her but she was certain that horror was not what she had felt.

"Hermione," she had not realised that Ginny was talking to her.

"Sorry, what?" Hermione responded still seeming lost.

"What's going on Hermione?" Ginny asked sudden concern in her voice.

"What do you mean?" Hermione answered somewhat distractedly.

"Don't imagine that I haven't seen you going into the garden every day to meet up with Malfoy." Ginny told her raising her left brow as if to challenge Hermione to deny it.

"Nothing is going on," Hermione stated quickly and too vehemently.

"No," Ginny said incredulously, "I know what you're doing."

"I'm not doing anything but giving him some company."

"Don't lie to yourself Hermione," Ginny told her friend as gently as she could, "don't lie to me either we have known each other too long. You're trying to save him and he is hoping that you can. I hope he's right Hermione-for your sake."

Hermione looked down hoping her hair would hide the slivers of tears that were lining her eyes. When she looked up Ginny was gone. Oh God what have I done?

Dusk approached and Hermione knew she had to go into the garden and face Draco, apologise because they had abandoned him with no word of what they were doing or where they were going. Not even word of if they would come back. She waited, listening for the garden door, when an hour had passed and it was dark and she hadn't heard anything she slipped from her chair anyway. I must have missed it, she told herself hopefully even though she was sure she had not. She reached the garden bench, he wasn't there, and somehow she knew he would not be.

Draco knew he was avoiding the inevitable, he would have to face her but he didn't know what to do or say. Should he apologise or pretend nothing had happened and continue as they had done before? He decided that he must have lost his mind, he had kissed the 'mud-blood' he should have felt violated, unclean yet instead it felt… he couldn't say what he felt. Being unable to describe his emotion did not prevent him from torturing himself with the idea of kissing her again, and again until age and infirmity deprived him of the desire- he knew then that he had gone insane. You are out of your tiny mind Draco, he told himself, you are a pure-blood, one of the sacred 28 she is nothing, a nobody, beneath your notice, little better than an animal. Somehow it didn't matter what he told himself his desire for her would not go away. But why is she so clever, so beautiful and why does she always smell like jasmine? Desperate for anything to distract himself he reached for a book, 'A book of English Verse,' muggle poetry.

"Great" he said aloud, Draco was about to cast it aside when he noted that the pages fell open on particular work what he assumed was someone's favourite poem.

'Gather ye Rose-buds while ye may,' he knew this was an ancient poem the language hundreds of years old and though he was not familiar with poet or the muggle culture of that time, the sentiment was clear enough and resonant of their current time. Seize your chances now for otherwise the opportunity may be lost to you.

Why should he deny himself? He wondered, he was the disgraced son of a Death Eater, despised by both sides. He couldn't lie to himself anymore, he wanted her. Why shouldn't he? He asked himself defiantly. Of course, reason told him, there were any number of reasons why he shouldn't. Firstly she was Weasley's girlfriend and his position here, at the headquarters of The Order, was at best precarious. Merlin only knows what would happen if he made advances towards Granger. Would she even welcome them? Again he found himself lost in the memory of that forbidden kiss and how she had responded with equal passion.

"Damn it," he howled throwing the book of poems across the room, he knew he was lost. She will drive me insane, there has got to be a way out of here. He decided he would speak to Lupin in the morning offer to help, anything to get out of Grimmauld Palace and away from its too tempting inhabitant.

"Professor," Draco approached his old Defence against the Dark Arts teacher respectfully, "might I have a word?"

"Of course Draco," Lupin agreed indicating that Draco should join him in the ground floor room that served as a study. As soon as the door closed Lupin continued, "What can I do for you?"

"I can't just sit out the war here professor," Draco began, "being here may be safe but it is driving me insane, I have had little if no news of my mother, I have nothing to do and I could be of some use."

Remus eyed Draco cautiously mindful of what Severus had told them about the boy.

"What is that you want to do Draco?" Remus asked.

"I would like to return to Malfoy Manor, watch what Voldemort is doing, be a backup in case my Godfather's role is exposed."

"Absolutely not," Remus told him without hesitation.

"But why?" Draco demanded, "I can do it." Draco insisted sounding a little petulant.

"I don't doubt that Draco," Remus told him wearily.

"Then what?" Draco demanded before answering his own question, "you don't trust me do you?"

Remus sighed, "It's not that Draco it's simply too dangerous do you have any idea what they will do to you if you turn up now?"

"I am not a fool Professor, I know they will 'crucio' me at best, 'avada' me at worst, but there is no risk to The Order, I don't know where 'Headquarters' is , I could not lead them to you. I have no memories of anything excepting the interior of this house. To all appearances I have been a prisoner here," Draco argued.

For a moment Lupin looked like he might be swayed but then he shook his head.

"No Draco, it's too dangerous but we may have need of you yet. I will do what I can to ease your boredom but for now we need you to remain here."

Draco felt so desperate that he contemplated telling his old Professor the real reason he needed to leave but how could he? How could he say I need to leave because my desire for Granger is driving me insane?