Taking a moment to enjoy the earthling's understandably terrified expression, though she detected more than a hint of defiance in her youthful face, Kodos proceeded to begin the 2nd roast of the evening.
"Now I know in your culture you have a tendency to view the negative antics of your offspring as nothing more than adolescent rebellion, but I believe the actions of the middle Simpson child go beyond what your species would consider to be appropriate. While her numerous efforts to try and improve your planet are admirable, if somewhat naive, they nevertheless negatively impact the security of her family unit. Kang will remind you all of her crimes before we consider to allow her the chance to try and plead her case. For unlike her mother, her voice is not as grating to our sound receptors".
Ignoring the muffled sounds of anger from both the matriarch of the Simpson family, as well as the indignant sounding ones from their smartest member, the one eyed alien began to consult his notes.
"Let's see here. Initial attempts to push her non protein dietary habits on other people while still advocating for the consumption of aquatic cuisine because she likes the smell".
While the Rigelian male expected to have the reading of the first crime met with protest from the eldest daughter of the human family, he was largely surprised by the emotional reaction he elicited from the nearly bald patriarch.
"Oh Pinchie. My sweet delicious angel".
Turning towards his female sibling with a look of confusion as Homer continued to sob over his late pet/dinner, Kang cleared his throat before he continued.
"Moving on. We also have instances where she is disrespectful of her parents, the most specific instances being where she threw a tantrum when her mother expressed different tastes in musical culture, and when she took advantage of her father's position to cover up her dismal performance in the field of sports, only to throw yet another tantrum when her father made an unbiased decision against her".
Making a click of disapproval, the alien's expression became more vicious as he read the next crime.
"Now this is interesting, and goes on to show that despite her so called high intelligence, Lisa Simpson is in fact perhaps even more idiotic than her mother".
Passing the card to his sibling so she could read it herself, Kang directed a question towards the town's richest, and oldest citizen.
"Mr Burns, is it true that after Lisa Simpson made you aware of the importance of recycling, you offered her a substantial financial reward after her methods helped you recover your fortune"?
His question causing the hook nosed billionaire to chuckle cruelly, the one eyed alien found himself growing even more disgusted with the naïve idiocy of the young female as he listened to Mr. Burn's explanation.
"I did indeed. After selling my environmentally friendly slurry factory to regain my fortune, I generously offered 10% of the profits to the little girl who gave me the idea to utilize the forces of recycling for my own benefit. Of course she ripped up the cheque that would have made her, and her family millionaires, but the important thing is that I benefited wholly from the exchange. For I believe that if she had accepted the $12 million dollars, which I had only offered due to a momentary lapse of poor judgement, she would have been able to actually to make a larger nuisance of herself with all her talk of promoting so called clean and safe energy. The Sun has killed more people than the Nuclear Power Plant ever will, and I'll be dammed if I allow Mother Nature to drive me out of business".
Nodding his head in sympathy with the aged human billionaire, for his kind had also labored long and hard to overcome the destructive power of nature with their own technology, Kang turned back to his list.
"As terrible as depriving one's family unit of sufficient funds, along with the idiocy of failing to see how her own goals could be realized with said funds, AND causing her father's heart to nearly give out, there are more crimes that must be considered".
Clearing his throat, and more than lightly amused at the sight of the packed hall murmuring in interest as they thought of the girls crimes, Kang continued to read from the list.
"Lets see here. Throwing a fit when learning that her maternal caregiver doesn't care for her musical tastes. Pretending to be a member of an indigenous population just because she is overly guilty about what her more technically superior ancestors accomplished. Guilting her family into lowering their entertainment access just because she had been motivated by some behavioural doctrine, which she proceeds to abandon as soon as a more fascinating one comes along. Allowing your own pleasurable pursuits to take priority over the comfort of your family, though your mother's prodding to buy a musical instrument over an air cooling device means you do not share full responsibility for this failing. Disrespecting the primary breadwinner due to misplaced anger towards the disappearance of an effective male role model. And perhaps the most amusing of all, crying when you learned the true nature of your political system. However, I can't decide whether your crying at the backroom deals that make up any government structure, or at the fact that elected officials are mocking the physical appearance of statue who has some importance for gender relations in your nation. For one who pays homage to the belief of free speech, you tend to get rather upset when someone says something that you do not like".
Earning chuckles from the audience, and full out laughs from the hook nosed human and other well dressed earthlings, the pair of one eyed aliens nodded to each other as they proceeded to the next stage of their plan.
"Since the female earthling possesses less annoying vocal abilities, we had considered giving her the chance to try and defend her past actions. But since I'm sure no earthling wishes to hear the leftist ranting of a politically correct know it all, we shall move on to the next human earthling we have selected for tonight's roast. Ladies and gentleman, and those who identify themselves as neither, please give a round of applause for M…..".
….
And will end things here XD.
Sorry for the long wait, but writers block, etc.
Think I did a good job of bashing Lisa.
Hopefully next chapter wont be as long.