A quick note before you start reading. I feel like you could enjoy this fanfic while listening to Megan Mullally's version of the song "Lonely At The Top".

It is not based on the song, but I was listening to it as I was writing. I also feel like it matches the tone of the story and since Megan is the one singing, it could be a nice way to read it.

I'm wearing an amazing outfit, as usual, my makeup looks more than perfect, and even though I'm not used to wearing my hair down, I'm not complaining because I wasn't the one who styled it.

Everyone is looking at me, they want to talk to me, to touch me, to get to know me… HYPOCRITES!

I struggled all my life with a bunch of stuff and nobody cared. Correction, nobody cared until I married Stan. Then everyone suddenly wanted to know who I was, what I liked. I used to put on a nice face and pretend to be interested in all those boring conversations at parties. There is when I realized that I had made the wrong decision, I thought that money would solve all my problems, but instead, it added a couple more to the pile.

I soon learned a way to go through it. Alcohol. It made it fun. At first, I drank only at parties, but when the loneliness at the manse started to become unbearable, I couldn't resist any longer. I loved the way it made me feel, and nobody ever told me that it was wrong, so when the alcohol wasn't enough I started taking pills.

When I met Grace, she told me that she needed an assistant and I was thrilled to be outside the house for more than an hour, so I took the job. I soon met Will and Jack, and we became a solid group of friends. I was so happy to have people to talk to besides Rosario. I loved them so much, I really felt like I no longer needed to be medicated all the time because I wasn't sad anymore, but I couldn't stop. Now I know that I was addicted.

I will always be grateful for my little Jackie. Although he NEVER said to me "Stop drinking" or "Stop taking pills", he did wanted me to stop. He used to sneak into my room when he thought I was sleeping and exchange my pills for candies that looked similar, or he sometimes would pour water in my glass instead of vodka, naïvely thinking I wouldn't notice. I remember it was annoying at the time but now I know that he did it because he cared, he loved me and wanted to protect me.

I tried to stop when Stan went to jail, but it just made me realize how broken I was. I couldn't take it. Memories of a troubled childhood, broken marriages and failed pregnancies started to come back at night. I cried myself to sleep trying to ignore everything; nausea, the anxiety, the shakings, the cold sweat. Trying to imagine another life, wondering why no more than one person cared enough to try to do something for me, to make me see the damage that I was causing to myself. I wish they cared.

When Stan came back, I thought that everything will be okay again because despite everything, I loved that man and I know he loved me, he just wasn't good at it.

The day I caught him cheating was the end of me. I managed to remain calm for the sake of my Jackie, but when he left, I totally lost it.

I had spent a month without drugs. I was finally clean after all those years! But the pain of seeing the person you love sharing your bed with some random woman made that little yellow bottle look so tempting, and it was just like that…

I locked the door and took two pieces, but of course, it wasn't enough so I kept putting pills into my mouth until the container was empty, and as soon as I finished, I regretted it. I hadn't done it with that intention, but it was too late to think about that, every second was crucial. Now I had to get to the phone as quickly as possible, the problem was that I wasn't able to even move my legs. I felt exhausted.

I felt bad. This wasn't what I had in mind, I just wanted to forget what I had seen, to erase the pain. But there was nothing else to do, so I let my eyes rest.

Now I see everyone. Stan, his friends. Rich fake friends, the people that looked the other way when I poured my fourth glass of alcohol.

Everyone is wearing black, everyone pretends to cry. Then, there is Jackie. Standing right next to me, his eyes are red and I feel a tear fall on my palm as he takes my hand in his. He looks so miserable and I hate myself for being the person that made him lose his joy.

I'm wearing an amazing outfit, as usual, my makeup looks more than perfect, and even though I'm not used to wearing my hair down, I'm not complaining because I wasn't the one who styled it.

Everyone is looking at me, they want to talk to me, to touch me, to get to know me… HYPOCRITES!

AN: Hey everyone! I am so sorry for taking the dark path on a COMEDY show, but I couldn't resist the idea of writing this. I love the show, I love its characters, but one thing that has always bothered me is that when Will started to get addicted to pills, Grace and Jack reacted so quickly! And I just wish that they were like that with Karen. I know it's a show, but I can help it.

Anyways, I hope you liked it. You would make me so happy if you leave a comment.