Confessions

Summary: Josslyn tells her mother about a mistake she almost made.

A/N: Set right after Carly found out about Josslyn's shoplifting.

Josslyn Jacks swallowed hard as she hesitated on the stairs, hair wet from her shower and dressed in her pajamas. She and her mother had just talked about her shoplifting a few days previously, but there was still another matter that she knew she had to talk with the woman about. She took in a deep breath and went to sit next to her mother on the sofa.

"Mom?" She asked. "I need to tell you something."

Her mother looked at her curiously, eyes studying her carefully. "What about, Josslyn?" She wondered.

Josslyn lowered her head to stare at her hands which rested on her lap. She twisted her fingers together nervously. "You already know that I shoplifted in an effort to feel something."

Carly turned her full attention onto her daughter at that, feeling dread consumer. "What do you mean, sweetie?"

The teen's cheeks flushed crimson in embarrassment and she let out a groan. "I tried to have sex with Oscar. I was so tired of being filled with hurt and anger. Thankfully, Oscar stopped me. I was pissed at first. But then I realized that I was glad that he did. I certainly wasn't ready. I just didn't want to feel anything."

The older woman's heart ached at her little girl's confession and she felt guilt consume her at the fact that she wasn't there. That her daughter had blamed herself for her being stuck in Ferncliff. "Oh, Josslyn." She pulled the teen to her and kissed the side of her head. "I know I've already told you this, but my going to Ferncliff wasn't your fault. The last thing I ever wanted you to do is blame yourself."

Josslyn swiped at her cheeks angrily. "I'm trying to listen to what you told me, but I can't make myself believe it. I don't know if I can ever forgive myself for believing Nelle over you."

Carly sighed sadly, once again cursing Nelle for the pain she'd caused her little girl. "Josslyn, honey...Nelle manipulated you. That bitch took advantage you and how you felt like you owed her, how grateful you were to her for giving her your kidney. It's completely understandable why you didn't want to believe the worst of her. You feel like she's the reason why you're alive. And I wasn't acting right. I can understand why you'd think I'd lost it and pushed Nelle downstairs."

Her daughter laughed bitterly and wrapped her arms around herself. She shook her head negatively. "You only looked that way because Nelle was trying to drive you crazy!"

Carly tucked Josslyn's hair behind an ear. "Listen, Nelle is paying for what she did to us. She can never hurt us again. She made the decision to do the things that she did and it's not your fault. Now you need to stop blaming yourself."

"Okay." Josslyn whispered in a wobbly voice.

"Now..." Her mother began. "Have you talked with Oscar about what you told me?"

Josslyn blushed an even deeper shade of red and shook her head emphatically. "NO!" She cried out sharply, eyes wide and bright. "The idea is so embarrassing. I know that he'd understand, but it's...the idea of talking to him about it feels so humiliating." She groaned and hid her face behind her long hair.

Carly knelt down in front of her daughter so she could meet her eyes and reached out to take her hands. "Listen, Josslyn, Oscar loves you. The fact that he stopped you from making a mistake is proof of that. He'd never judge you for what happened."

Her daughter looked up. "I mean...I know that. I know that if Oscar had been basically, any other guy except for Cam, he'd have probably immediately taken what I was offering and wouldn't have cared about how I felt afterwards. And I'm lucky. I still don't know how to broach that conversation with him. I mean...I apologized for getting upset, but I don't know how to explain to him why I tried to do that."

"You don't have to talk to him about it immediately. You can talk to him when you're ready. But he does deserve to know this." Her mother told her firmly, squeezing her hands gently.

Josslyn gave her mother a nod of understanding and hugged her gratefully, wondering how she'd gotten so lucky to have such an amazing mom.