Chapter 5
The fingers that softly crept up Scully's side and drew lazy circles on her back was making it impossible for her to sleep. She rolled over on her other side so that she was facing her husband and gave an exasperated sigh.
"Mulder!"
"What? Can't sleep?" He chuckled quietly.
"Yes, and you know why!"
"Because I'm so attractive that you can't keep your hands off me?" He ginned at her and she couldn't help but laugh.
"That's not it…at least not entirely. It has more to do with those busy fingers of yours."
"What, these?" his fingers began creeping along her side again.
"You're very annoying, you know that, right?"
"Thank you," he said and allowed his hand to wander to her breast where he massaged it gently. "How's that? Good?"
"Yeah… good," she sighed and closed her eyes.
After a few moments, he spoke again. "Soo…Scully…I was wondering…"
"What were you wondering?"
"Have you taken a test?"
"What test?" She frowned and looked at him.
"You know…" he allowed his hand to come to a rest on her belly. "A pregnancy test."
"Oh, that," she huffed out a puff of air. "No, not yet."
He studied her quietly.
"What?"
"Don't you want to know if Sucellos was right or not? I mean he should be, given the power and knowledge that he has, but what if he's wrong?"
"Yeah, Mulder, what if he's wrong? What then?" She laughed.
"Then you wouldn't be pregnant."
"And?" She pushed, trying to find out what he was getting at.
"And…we wouldn't be having another baby," he said in a sad voice.
"Mulder, the idea of another baby means that much to you?" She put out her hand and laid it against his cheek.
"Yeah, Scully, it does. We have a mini-Mulder, now I want us to have a small Scully."
She laughed, but it was a delightful sound. "I want to wait a couple of weeks before I pee on a stick."
"Why?"
"Because it has a better chance of being accurate."
"Oh."
"And if I'm not, it's okay."
"How can you say that?" He frowned.
"Mulder! Look at us! We're young again, we've been given a gift. We have all these developed feelings about each other with our youthful restored bodies. We have plenty of time to have a family, even if we're not having any more additions now."
"So that's why you're so calm about this?"
"Yup." She grinned at him.
"How many kids do you want, wife of mine?"
"I don't know, it was never something we could talk about before, was it?"
"Well, it is now, so you'd better start thinking about it." His hand began to wander, and he pushed her on her back.
"Mulder?" She arched an eyebrow at him.
"What? No time like the present, is there? I mean, just in case you're not." He said and deftly removed her panties as his fingers began to massage her inner folds.
"Oh, Mulder…." She purred and laid back to let him worship her.
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The next morning was grey and it looked like rain. The Captain got out of bed, got dressed and made his way downstairs. Though it was early he knew enough to start the coffee so that it would be ready for Carolyn when she got up later. That done, he scowled at his attire. He was dressed in the all too casual navy-blue sweatpants and sweatshirt that Fox had deemed appropriate for him. He told him some nonsense about how it brought out the blue in his eyes and he would be sure to attract the ladies even while he was working out.
As if that mattered to him.
The only woman he wanted to attract lie asleep upstairs in their bed, and he was unable to have a normal relationship with her.
Blast and damn!
He assumed he could just fall back into being human again, clearly, he had not thought this out. How was it that he was more comfortable being a spirit than he was being a man? Fate was unkind, there was nothing fair about this in the least.
He felt his senses suddenly sharpen and the hair on his arms stood on end, and he knew a spirit would appear shortly. He folded his arms in front of him and waited. He hardly blinked and Sucellos stood before him. He offered Daniel a smile and brushed the lint off his coat.
"Good morning, Daniel. Nice to see you up and about." He appraised the Captain's clothing and shook his head. "Though your choice of attire leaves a bit to be desired."
"Not when one is exercising. Then it does not pay to wear remarkable clothing."
"I suppose you're right. You're looking well."
"Perhaps, physically," the Captain said.
"What does that mean?" The smaller man raised an eyebrow.
"I think you know exactly what it means." He expelled a long breath. "Why didn't you tell me that being human was going to be so hard?"
"Me? Why didn't I tell you?" Sucellos regarded him in amazement. "Daniel, it is hardly my place to tell you that. And as for the degree of difficulty, I had no idea it would be so hard for you to transition back to a normal life."
"But you had an idea?"
"Yes, I did."
"Why was it so easy when I was time travelling?"
"Two things. You were intent on a mission and didn't have time to think about this. And two, I put a filter up for you so that you could accomplish what you needed to do. And you barely managed at that. Poor Jonathan may never have been born again had I not done that."
"Well, for that I am grateful, but…"
"But what? You wanted to be human and have a life with Carolyn, and now you have that. I do not understand the problem."
The Captain swallowed and gathered his emotions together, speaking only then. "The problem…is that I don't know how to be human anymore."
"Daniel, what surprises me is that you are surprised by this. All told, you spent at least three times as long being a spirit as a human over the course of your existence. Why would you think you could easily go back to this?"
"But damnit! Carolyn…"
"Will wait for you." The smaller man walked across the room to the Captain and laid a hand on his arm. "Daniel, find what works for you. Find out what you like to do and do it. It will give you comfort and help you to understand."
The Captain studied his ghostly friend for a moment more before he spoke. "Will you help me?"
"If I can, I do have limitations as to what I am allowed."
"We still have to decide what we want to do as far as future careers in this new life, correct?"
"Yes, that is true."
"My knowledge of the sea and sailing is from the past; can you update that so that I am current. So that I have as much knowledge about current ships as I did about past ships?"
"Well, yes, I don't see the harm in that. I suspect that will also help you to discover what you want to do in this life?"
"It's a definite step, yes."
"Very well." The smaller man pressed two of his fingers against the Captain's forehead. " There. Give it a day or two and you should have all the knowledge you need. Though you did have some basic knowledge to begin with as you had a small business I believe."
"Yes, some modern knowledge, but not enough to make an informed decision as to if this was something I should pursue."
"Do you think she will allow it?" Sucellos inclined his head towards the ceiling.
"That is a discussion between Carolyn and I."
"Very well." He stepped away and spared the Captain one last look. "I will be back in a week or two to check on the lot of you. You need to decide what you want to do with your lives. The choices you can make will expire in a short while."
"We know, Sucellos. Thank you for your patience."
The old spirit offered Daniel the ghost of a smile. "Good thing I like you, Daniel, or else you'd be in serious trouble."
"I know, and I am most grateful."
"Good. I'll be on my way then." Sucellos nodded and disappeared.
Daniel rubbed his chin, falling deep in thought. He was standing there some moments later when he heard the soft knocking on the front doors and left to meet Fox outside for their morning run.
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The day spa was something to be relished, Carolyn thought as her massage was completed and she got dressed. She went out to the bright dining area which offered many choices for a healthy lunch, placed her order and then looked for Dana. She was sitting near a window which permitted a lovely view of the lush green grounds.
"Carolyn, there you are!" Dana waved her over and offered her a million-watt smile.
"You're certainly in a good mood!" Carolyn laughed as she took the seat across from her friend.
"And why shouldn't I be? It's a beautiful day outside, I'm here with a great friend, and I've had a massage that is to die for." She sighed happily. "And no men."
Carolyn laughed again. "Yes, I think we needed a break too. It's not a terrible thing that they went off to do manly things."
Scully giggled. "Yes, well, the idea of Mulder teaching the Captain how to be a man again makes me giggle!"
Carolyn chuckled and soon they dissolved into one of those unexplainable fits of laughter where simply looking at each other brought them to fits of giggles. After a few minutes their food arrived and wiping their eyes they finally began to calm down.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean any offense," Carolyn grinned at the other woman, "it's just that they're so…"
"…different?" Scully smothered a giggle. "Yeah, I gave Mulder some crap about that too." She expelled along breath and gave Carolyn a serious look. "But he is a very talented psychologist and always has been, it's how he got his nickname, "Spooky Mulder". He had an uncanny knack for getting into the head of dangerous killers, which made him 'Spooky'."
Carolyn gave her an ironic smile. "You do appreciate the irony of that nickname in context to Daniel, don't you?"
"Can't miss it."
"But that must have been terribly hard for Fox."
"It was. He became so involved in the cases he worked that he began to think like the killer, live like the killer." She shivered. "I've seen him struggle to keep his mind intact and not become the killer he was profiling, but somehow he kept himself separate. It was spooky, and not in any way that was funny."
"How did he get out of it?"
"He couldn't take it anymore and back then he had made a name for himself, so he left. Took on the X-files." She shrugged. "And you know the rest."
"Mostly."
They both began to eat their salads.
"Oh, I know I've said it before, but congratulations again."
"Congratulations?" Scully echoed in puzzlement.
"Dana," Carolyn gave her a reproving look.
"Oh, that." Scully seemed uncomfortable.
"Oh, that? Dana, what's wrong?"
"It's nothing. I just haven't followed up with a test yet."
"Why on earth not?"
"It's only been two weeks since Sucellos said it was a possibility."
"He didn't say it was a possibility, he said that you were pregnant."
"Yeah, well…" Scully concentrated on her salad.
"I don't understand, I thought you'd be ecstatic." Carolyn's eyes mirrored her concern.
"So, did I," Dana said. She pushed her plate away. "I'm afraid to verify it."
"Why?"
"Because then it's all real. Then I have to accept that there's a baby on the way."
Carolyn gave her a puzzled look.
"And hope that this time everything works out." She shook her head. "I'm scared, Carolyn. Nothing has ever worked out well for Mulder and me."
Carolyn reached across the table and squeezed her friend's hand. "But you're still together."
"Yeah."
"And you've found William."
"Thanks to you and the Captain." She gave her friend a rueful smile. "We've barely gotten used to that. And now a baby?"
"What's really bothering you? It isn't Fox, is it?"
Slowly, Dana nodded.
"He loves you, he's devoted to you. You don't doubt that, do you?"
"No, but love isn't always enough, is it?" She sighed. "I hate that I have these doubts. I just want us to be a happy family.""
"You don't think that's something he can do? You don't think he can start over?"
"I don't know if he can be a family man, he's always been devoted to chasing after life's unexplained mysteries. I don't know that he can stop."
"I understand more than you know." Carolyn sighed and pushed her plate away from her. "Now that Daniel's human I'm afraid that I'm going to lose him to his other great love."
"The sea?"
Glumly, Carolyn nodded. "He's newly alive again. I never knew him when he was alive, only as a spirit. And as such he couldn't go sailing away from me, could he?"
"But now he can," Scully nodded. "I get it. Fine pair we are. You think the Captain is going to sail away and leave you behind, and I'm afraid that Mulder will be unable to stop looking in the darkness and leave me behind."
They remained silent for a while, each lost in thought.
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The day had been long and busy, skipping from one event to another. After their morning run they both showered up and changed into casual clothes, Fox grabbed his car keys and pointed the Captain to the passenger seat of the new minivan.
The Captain strapped himself in and glanced over at Mulder in amusement.
"What?" Mulder asked.
"Nothing. I didn't realize you had gotten a new vehicle. Your choice surprises me."
Mulder snorted. "Yeah, me too. Never thought I'd see the day. I own a damn minivan."
The Captain laughed. "And what prompted this momentous decision?"
"Well, I hate to admit it, but with us having William and another one on the way it seemed a practical thing to do."
"Ahh, you have confirmed Sucellos words? He is correct then?"
"Well, I'm not completely sure."
"What do you mean?"
Mulder shrugged. "Just waiting for Scully to take the test."
The Captain hesitated, unsure of what to say.
"It's okay, Danny. She just needs some time. Life altering changes rattle her and she needs some time to cope. She'll be fine."
"And what about you? What if she's not pregnant?"
Mulder shifted and met his friend's gaze and shrugged. "I would be…disappointed but hopeful."
"Hopeful?' Daniel quirked an eyebrow in curiosity.
"Yeah, hopeful. We're young again, our lives are our own. We have time." Mulder sighed contentedly, and then grinned. "Just wait. I bet you'll get a minivan too."
"That would imply that Carolyn and I will have children."
"Won't you?" Fox gave him a look as he started the car.
The Captain made a non-comital noise and looked out the window.
Not wanting to press his luck, Mulder found a local radio station and settled into silence.