Okay… so don't hate me. Please. It was hard writing this chapter, for obvious reasons. And it will get worse before it gets better but I guess you signed up for that right? I did warn you at the start of this story.

Beca woke with a hypothetical jack hammer pounding against her skull. The relentless pounding brought her into consciousness, her eyes opening slowly. Her first thought was this is not my room. As much as she should be worried, Beca couldn't bring herself to get up. The pillows and duvet held a soft vanilla smell, and she felt so warm and content that the last thing she wanted to do was face reality. Wait… vanilla. I know that smell… her thoughts wandered to the rest of her body and that's when she felt it. An arm was draped around her waist, clutching the front of a shirt that Beca now realised was not her own. It was too big, and way too bright for it to be hers. The body that was pressed against hers was like a furnace, radiating a steady, calming heat. Beca knew instantly who this was.

Lifting the arm and prising the fingers gently away from her shirt, Beca released herself from Chloe's grasp. She glanced back and her breath caught. Chloe always looked so peaceful when she slept. The corners of her mouth turned up, and her flaming red hair fanned around her head like a halo. Shaking her head, Beca worked her way to the end of the bed, feeling waves of exhaustion rolling through her body. Every bone in her body was complaining, and it was only now that she noticed the deep throbbing in her knee. That was when it hit her. The drinking. The fort. Chloe taking her back to her apartment. The… no. it couldn't be real. Could it?

Beca quickly and quietly changed back into her discarded clothes from last night, trying in vain to ignore the nausea that was building in her stomach. She thought she had succeeded in being stealthy, but the thought came crashing down when she felt a hand grip her wrist.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Beca jumped back, stumbling on her bad leg slightly. She locked eyes with Chloe, who was staring intensely into the brunette's eyes. The look of concern in Chloe's bright blue eyes just heightened Beca's anxiety. What did I do last night... what did I tell her?

"Sorry! I'm sorry I just…" Chloe looked down at the brunettes shoe clad feet and frowned slightly. "Are you leaving?" Beca nodded, feeling it was slightly obvious. She tried her best to lighten to mood.

"yeah, I need to catch up on some much needed beauty sleep and I figured you'd rather me drool all over my own pillows." Chloe didn't laugh, didn't react at all. It was disconcerting.

Chloe sighed, sitting up and taking both of the younger girl's hands. They were both trembling, a complete 180 turn on the calm, steady girl Chloe had come to know.

"Beca… I really think we should talk about last night." The brunette's breath caught. This could only end badly.

"I can't really remember most of it… maybe fill me in?" Beca tried to hide the waver in her voice, but to no avail. Chloe nodded and pulled her to sit opposite her, still holding Beca's hands, running soothing circles over her knuckles.

"Don't freak out okay? I was just as shocked as you." Beca nodded, urging her to continue. "Okay so at the party you were crazy drunk. I don't think I've ever seen you like that before." Chloe chuckled at the memory of Beca in her fort. "You decided to build a fort, but I managed to get you out of it. I figured it would be easier to bring you back here considering you couldn't actually walk in a straight line. We got back here and you were already falling asleep so I gave you some sleep clothes but you just weren't cooperating. So I tried to help but we…" Chloe's story faltered. She knew what came next, but saying it made it real. And she didn't know whether she was ready for that yet. Beca squeezed her fingers lightly, letting her know it was okay to continue.

"We kissed. A lot. I would love to say that it was just friendly but it wasn't. It was hot and passionate and… I don't know. It had more behind it than just platonic feelings. Anyway, I think I must have sat on you funny or done something wrong because you started crying… and saying stuff. You started singing a song before you basically just passed out." Chloe was looking anywhere but Beca throughout the whole speech, but was now staring deep into Atlantic blue eyes. In them was pure fear, while the rest of her face tried to subdue it.

"What did I say?" Beca was sure she couldn't have betrayed herself like this.

"You asked me not to leave you… you told me you were dying." Chloe focused intently on the brunettes face, trying to find any tell-tale signs that there was truth behind the words. The only giveaway was the slight intake of breath. Chloe could feel panic building in her chest.

"Is this true? Why can't you talk to me?" the redhead could feel herself getting flustered, squeezing Beca's hands as if she could force the truth out of her.

"It's not true. I was drunk, I didn't know what I was saying. Look I appreciate your concern, but I should really get going." Beca stood up to leave, knowing she couldn't face Chloe without crying right now but the redhead had other ideas. She grabbed onto her arm, effectively spinning the younger girl around to face her.

"No! Stop shutting me out! When are you going to realise that I want to help you?!" Chloe's frustrations were pouring out of her, ripping into the stubborn girl stood in front of her.

"There's nothing to help Chloe! I'm fine!" Beca was getting angry – she didn't mean to, hell the last person she ever wanted to get mad at was Chloe Beale. But it was her defence mechanism. Without it, her secrets would be leaking out of every pore of her body.

"You're clearly not!" Chloe lowered her voice. "Beca, all I want is to be here for you, but I can't unless-"Chloe was reaching out to take the smaller girls shoulders, but was cut off when she shoved the redhead away forcefully.

Beca knew exactly what she was doing. Despite it being the last thing she ever wanted to do, she knew if she was harsh enough, Chloe would eventually get the message.

"I don't need babying Chloe, Jesus Christ. You can't even believe me when I say I'm okay." Beca turned towards the door, feeling bile rising in her throat when the next words left her mouth. "Thank you for making me realise how big of a mistake this was." And with that, the brunette left, leaving a stunned Chloe in her wake.

Luke watched as the small brunette lent her head back into the bed, closing her eyes. The IV lines and radiation tubes were poking out of her arms, the discoloured liquid making its way into her bloodstream. He could already see that she had paled considerably, the anticipation and side effects taking its toll.

When Beca had asked Luke to come in with her, he didn't hesitate, knowing what it took for her to ask this. She had said that she and Chloe had argued earlier, but she spoke nothing more of it. Instead opting to turn the radio up in the blonde's car. Seeing her look so dejected now broke his heart.

"How you feeling Becky?" Luke poked her in the arm teasingly.

"Oh I'm feeling just swell." Beca replied in a mock English accent. Nice to see the sarcasm hadn't disappeared, Luke thought.

"Thank you for coming in and… whatever." Luke could hear the insecurities surfacing in her voice.

"No problem." The blonde knew he wouldn't need to say much more. Their relationship was built on the things that they didn't say, to which they were both easily content about.

"I'm probably gonna catch some Zzz's… will you stay?" Beca opened her eyes, straining at the effort. The drugs were already pulling her under. She only just caught his yes before her eyelids closed, sending her into a deep sleep filled with images of bright blue eyes and flaming red hair.

A/N – I reiterate, PLEASE DON'T HATE ME.