I've had new inspirations for this story. Real life really puts it into perspective. I can't begin to imagine what it's like to be in this type of situation, but for the people who are and still manage to smile are the real heroes of this world. Never take life for granted, because you never know when it may change.
Thank you to everyone who continues to read, review, favourite/follow and just pay interest to this story. It's truly amazing how much of a response it has got in such a short space of time. Thank you.
"You know you're an idiot right?" Luke sighed as he adjusted his hold on Beca's hair. The small girl was throwing up everything she had into the bucket by the side of the bed. Luke wondered if it was possible to throw up all of her insides, the way she was going. It had start not long into the treatment; Beca writhing in pain in her sleep before her eyes shot open and she pretty much projectile vomited down her t-shirt. Luke was able to catch the majority of it in the bucket, but there was still a fair amount down her front.
"No… shit Sherlock..." Beca just managed to gasp out between heaving and spitting. She was hunched over the side of the bed, trying to stop the waves of nausea washing through her.
"The nurse did tell you that drinking while going through chemo is a really bad idea." Luke didn't mean to scold her, but he had to admit that this was beyond stupid. Beca sat up slowly, finally satisfied that she had emptied her stomach and nothing else was going to come up. Luke was shocked when he saw her face. There was a thin sheen of sweat coating her skin, which was a sickly pale colour. Her eyes were bloodshot and ringed with dark circles. It was truly a heart-breaking sight.
"Thanks for your concern or whatever, but you're not my babysitter. I can do what I want." Beca rolled her eyes and leaned her head back, trying to stop the room from swimming.
"I know I'm not your babysitter, but I'm your friend." Luke scooted closer. "And friends give friends advice. I'm not telling you how to live your life, but if you carry on the way you are you won't have a life to live." The words seem to have gone through, because Beca physically deflated. Her whole demeanour changed as she rolled over, facing away from Luke. All he could do was sigh. This was going to be a long afternoon.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Okay Ms. Mitchell, you're free to go." Beca smiled slightly at the nurse, because that's all she could physically muster. The drugs had kicked her ass today, and it took all of her effort to even stand. Luke insisted on getting a wheelchair, knowing that she couldn't make the walk to the car unaided. She wanted to argue, to say that no she didn't need any help, but it was futile. She knew she needed it, and was touched that Luke knew too.
"Do you think there's a speed limit in the halls?" Beca chuckled slightly and Luke smiled, glad he had got some form of reaction from the girl. She was completely subdued from the harsh chemicals that had been pumped around her body.
"No, but I imagine people as uncoordinated as you would need a license to push people around." The brunette quipped. The remark wasn't up to her usual snarky standard, but it was the best she could muster.
"I'm sure there's a limit on the weight of the cargo to require a license. You weigh next to nothing midget."
"Whatever weirdo." Beca couldn't help the small smile that escaped her. The wheelchair was less than comfortable, and it was embarrassing to say the least. But the throbbing in her knee reminded her that she would not be able to walk these halls as far as she could throw.
They made it to the car in no time, the brunette grateful for the fresh air. There's was something about hospital smells that made her anxious. Luke parked the wheelchair parallel to the car.
"I'm gonna lift you up okay? Just grab hold of my neck." The blonde looked at her expectantly, not pushing her to move just yet. Beca was preparing to tell him that she could do it herself, it was just standing and sitting again. But the way her head was spinning and the pain in her leg which was steadily worsening told her to swallow her pride. So she nodded and wrapped her arms around Luke's neck. She felt his arms snake around her back, and was promptly lifted from the chair. Her feet didn't meet the floor when he straightened, but was in no way uncomfortable. Almost as soon as she had been lifted, she was being seated in the car. He was slow and careful with his movements as she got settled. He bent down and lifted her ankles, which now only had socks covering them, and placed them in the car. Beca didn't want her shoes on. The pain was already enough.
"Are you comfortable?" Luke asked with such sincerity that Beca could feel tears welling in her eyes. All she could do was nod.
As Luke got himself seated and the car turned on, she couldn't help but glace at the younger girl. She had tucked her left leg under her chin and pulled the hood of her hoodie over her head. Well, it was Luke's hoodie, but when she choked all over her own t-shirt and refused to wear the hospital gown, that was the only option. She had never seen the girl so fragile.
"So where are we headed?" Beca looked over, contemplating whether to go back to her dorm or not. That was quickly thrown out of the picture when she realised a certain redhead would know where to find her.
"Radio station?" Luke just smiled and pulled out.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
They arrived after about 20 minutes, but Beca was already fast asleep. It killed Luke to wake her, knowing that sleep had been scarce over the past month, but she could sleep on the couch once they were inside.
Luke reached over and gently shook the brunettes arm. When he got no response, he shook a bit harder and called her name softly. Still nothing. Luke started to worry, noticing the sweat that was on her face and the way her hands were trembling slightly.
"Becs, wake up. We're here." He leaned over the centre console and searched for a reaction. She was out cold.
"Beca seriously come on." He leaned over and tapped her cheek. When she didn't respond, Luke went in to tap again when a hand shot out, gripping his forearm. Beca's eyes snapped open, pure fear and confusion clouding them. Her breathing was erratic, and her eyes darted between Luke's, searching for clarity.
"Hey hey, it's okay. You're okay." Luke used his other hand to cup Beca's face, trying to get her to focus.
"Deep breaths. Come on do it with me. In… and out. There you go." Luke watched as the brunette followed his lead, taking deep, albeit shaky breaths. Her hand started to lose its grip, and her breathing was returning to normal when a small "Sorry" came out.
"It's okay. Don't worry. Do you want to talk about it?" Beca just shook her head. She didn't want to relive it.
"That's okay, I'll come and help you out." Before she had time to protest, he was out the car and walking around to her side. They were parked in the parking lot behind the radio station, and to get into the booth they had a flight of stairs and a lot of walking to do. They didn't take the wheelchair, so it was up to Beca to walk. Luke seemed to sense her inner turmoil.
"I can carry you if you want?" Beca knew that he probably could, knowing that he spent every evening pulling weights at the gym. But so close to home, where anyone could see them…
"No its okay. I think I can walk." Luke just nodded, standing back so she could get out. Taking a deep breath, Beca pulled herself out of the car. She felt wobbly at first, nausea bubbling in her empty stomach, but after a minute she felt okay. Ignoring the pain shooting up and down her leg, she started walking, Luke not far behind. She was doing well, taking small steps up to the back door of the station, when her knee buckled. As gravity took hold, the last thing she saw was the asphalt coming up to meet her as she squeezed her eyes closed. But the impact didn't come. Opening her eyes slowly, she saw that Luke was gripping her shoulders, preventing her from falling any lower. Without a word, he slung her right arm over his shoulder and secured his left arm around her waist. Beca just nodded, acknowledging the help. Together they hobbled through the doors and towards to stairs that led up to the main floor. He could feel Beca hesitate beside him. Luke looked down and was struck by the look of utter agony on the brunettes face. She hadn't told them to stop or slow down, trying her best to hide the pain that she was in.
"This stops here." Before Beca could respond, she was being swept off her feet. Literally. Luke's right arm hooked under her legs, pulling her up bridal-style. A sharp cry escaped her mouth, the pressure on her knee too much. Luke was swift with his movements, barrelling up the stairs and through the door, weaving expertly around the countless shelves of records and CD's. He used his foot to open the booth door, crossing the room in two steps before he reached the sofa. The blonde slowly lowered Beca to the couch, making sure to not hurt her any more than he already had.
Beca was panting hard, clenching her jaw at the pain and nausea radiating from her body.
"Dude, you didn't have to do that. I could have managed." Her voice was hoarse and shaky, but she still managed to sound pissed off. Luke dropped into the desk chair with a sigh.
"You don't have to pretend like you're not in pain. Its natural in a situation like this." His words were supposed to be comforting, but it only succeeded in making the brunette angry.
"In a situation like what Luke?" she shouted, the bitterness evident in her voice.
"I didn't mean it like-"Luke tried to start, but was quickly cut off.
"There's no other way that you could have meant it!" Beca's cheeks were turning red, her face contorting in anger.
"Beca calm down-"
"Don't you fucking dare tell me to calm down!" the brunette knew she overreacting, but she couldn't stop. "You don't understand! How could you?! You have no idea what it's like!" Beca was now up and pacing, her anger masking the flare of pain in her leg. Luke knew he needed to get this situation under control. He stood up slowly, trying not to startle the younger girl.
"So tell me. Tell me what it's like. Tell me how you feel." The brunette turned on him, eyes blazing.
"You want to know how I feel? Every fucking morning I wake up and I feel like I haven't even slept. I wake up and the pain is already there, reminding me. I can't eat without bringing it back up. I feel so fucking weak!" she was screaming now, her hands waving animatedly as she spilled every insecurity and fear since being diagnosed.
"What's worse?! I can't tell my best friend how I feel, because I know she'd be upset. I know there is nothing else I can do and I might fucking die Luke! Did you ever think about that? I could die and I don't want my best friend to plan my fucking funeral! I don't want this life…" tears were now falling freely down her face, her voice shaking.
"I don't want this life anymore… If I have to live with this… with fucking cancer…I just don't want to live anymore." Before she could say anymore, a cry escaped her, followed by racking sobs that she couldn't control. Luke quickly wrapped her up in an embrace, feeling Beca's knees give out and lowering them both to the floor. Her cries of anguish broke his heart, wishing he could take the pain she was feeling, even just for a day. It all felt more real now it was out in the open. They knew they would have to face the world eventually, but for now they were safe, wrapped up in themselves and decades of music which could carry their emotions for them.
After a while Luke realised that Beca had fallen asleep in his arms, the day finally catching up to her. In her front pocket, her phone pinged, indicating that she had a message. Curious, Luke pulled out her phone, seeing the message on the lock screen.
[17:34] Chloe – hey Becs… I came to your dorm earlier but you weren't there. Kimmy Jin said you hadn't been there all day, and I know you don't have any classes this afternoon. If you're avoiding me, that's okay, but I think we need to talk about last night. I just want to know you're okay. I'm worried… please call me xxx
Oh Beca… what are you doing to yourself? Luke thought to himself as he held the younger girl tighter.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A/N – more BeChloe next chapter lovelies. I love you awesome nerds!