So this isn't the way I intended this story to go. And please don't hate Chloe, there are reasons that it's going down the way it is.
Also, please don't hate me. This was a hard chapter to write. I've been struggling for inspiration, but I know I have people backing me all the way, so for them I say thank you. You mean a lot to me – more than you probably know.
What are you guys thinking so far? I can't believe we are already 14 chapters in!
Beca could feel the anticipation building in her stomach. Since being diagnosed with cancer, she had been on an emotional roller coaster. There were days where she was willing to admit it; to come to terms with the way her life had been turned upside down in the blink of an eye. And other days – the days where she was unable to get out of bed from the pain – she did everything she could to convince herself that this wasn't happening.
The last week had been different. Between Luke's encouraging words and her doctor's assertiveness, she could begin to grasp her dignity and compose herself – more for everyone around her than herself. She knew she had to be strong. And that could only happen if the truth was set free.
"Are you sure about this Beca?" Luke glanced over. The brunette was lost in thought, clearly not realising they had arrived. She turned slowly to face the station manager, a small smile on her face. They had talked about it at the start of the journey, but he was just making sure that she didn't want to back out – it was a big step for anyone, but for Beca, it meant everything.
"I need to do this, I – I think it will make it easier for everyone." Luke nodded slowly. It was now or never.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Chloe was already at the diner. She was there before Beca had even confirmed it, hopeful that the brunette would say yes. After last night, she felt like they had to talk about what they truly wanted, instead of just making out and pretending said activities never happened. Chloe knew what she wanted – everyone knew she had liked Beca since the activities fair. But it was whether Beca reciprocated those feelings that made it all worth it.
She had chosen a seat near the window, opposite the doors so she could see Beca walk in. it had been 15 minutes since she had called her, and so far there had been so sign of the snarky brunette. Chloe was just starting to wonder if she would ever show when movement in the parking lot caught her eye.
Luke was getting out of his car and walking round to the trunk, with Beca was still sat in the passenger seat. Chloe couldn't help but smile, her previous worries turning to dust. She was too busy watching the brunette to see what Luke was getting out of the trunk until he was stood in front of the girl. He balanced the crutches against the car and opened the passenger side door. Chloe watched, intrigued as he started talking to Beca. Her curiosity turned quickly from confusion to worry as Luke leaned into the car, tucking his arms under her shoulders and lifting the small brunette out. She seemed unsteady on her feet, leaning on Luke until she got the crutches under her. The redhead watched as Beca smiled graciously at Luke, before starting the slow walk to the entrance of the diner. Luke's hand never left her back, gently urging her on. It was only then that Chloe clocked the massive metal contraption encasing Beca's petite leg. It almost took up the whole leg, and only some parts of her sweatpants were visible.
Chloe couldn't believe what she was seeing. The girl that had sung to her, swept her off her feet was now struggling to stand on her own. Beca had tried explaining what she was going through was tough and cruel, but this seemed bordering agonising.
The bell on the entrance door chimed, alerting Chloe of Luke and Beca's entrance. She quickly composed herself, trying to pretend that she hadn't been watching the two from the window.
"Hey Chlo." The seniors head shot up at the voice. Beca was lowering herself into the booth opposite her, moving the crutches to lean next to the window. Luke sidled in next to her, an anxious look on his face. Chloe tried her best to smile.
"Hey Becs." Her voice didn't sound her own. Anyone with half a brain could tell it was oozing fake happiness.
"What are we ordering then?" Beca picked up the menu, knowing full well she wasn't going to order anything. Even the thought of food was making her nauseous. Chloe just stared, feeling the elephant in the room rearing its head.
"Beca-"
"You know what? I think I might just get a smoothie." The brunette placed her menu back on the rack, trying the maintain control of the situation. "What are you getting Chlo?" Beca made eye contact with the redhead, watching frustration building in her cerulean blue eyes.
"Beca, what's going on?" a flicker of fear passed through the DJ's face, but was quickly replaced by a neutral expression. She turned to Luke.
"Luke, what are having? A burger is my guess." The blonde mumbled something about eating earlier, trying to avoid eye contact with both women. He could feel the tension growing by the second. And he wasn't prepared to get in the way.
"Okay, looks like it's just me and you then." Beca waved the waitress over. This was completely out of character for her – even Luke knew that. Beca would never voluntarily draw attention to herself like this.
"Becs I really need to talk-"
"Hi! are you ready to order?" the chirpy waitress only succeeded in annoying the redhead more.
"No we need more time. Thank you." Chloe focused her attention back onto Beca, who was trying the keep her face straight. The waitress just smiled and nodded. She was turning to leave when Beca spoke up again.
"No really it's okay. You said you decided what you wanted." The waitress turned back, a look of confusion crossing her face before her smile returned.
"I need more time. I haven't decided yet."
"Chloe, you already said you're ready let's just order." The redhead's frustrations were beginning to boil over – there was only so much she could take. The waitress was frowning now, trying to decide whether to stay or go. Luke was shrinking in his seat, knowing this could only go in one direction.
"Beca please –"
"It's okay, I think we're ready –"
"BECA FOR FUCK SAKE, SHUT UP!" the café was instantly silenced by Chloe's outburst. Heads turned in their direction, and the waitress stood awkwardly to the side, unsure of what to do. Beca was stunned too, never hearing Chloe lose her temper like this before.
Chloe's face was red, her brows furrowed and her mouth set in a firm line. She knew she was being stared at, but right now she didn't care. She turned to the waitress, who visibly flinched.
"You can go. We're not ordering yet." She just nodded and walked off. The chatter of the café slowly increased again as Chloe and Beca stared at each other. Chloe was the one to break the silence.
"What the hell is going on with you Beca?" she hissed. Beca stumbled over her words, trying to find a way to explain without truly saying. She turned to Luke, who was finding the cuff of his sweater incredibly interesting.
"Luke, will you give us a minute?" he made eye contact with Beca, and Chloe watched as the seemed to have a whole conversation with subtle movements of their face. In the end, he just sighed.
"Sure, I'll wait in the car." The blonde made his way out of the café. Once he had left, Chloe turned her full attention back to Beca.
"So are you going to start explaining or what? This has gone on long enough Beca. One minute you say you're fine and the next you're walking in here on crutches." Beca started to speak but was cut off swiftly. "And don't give me some bullshit excuse. I want the truth." Chloe levelled the brunette with a glare that could make hell freeze over. It should have made Beca scared, but instead made her angry.
"What the hell Chloe? You can't just demand the truth! I'm not obliged to share anything with you! Last night I asked you to trust me, and you said you did. Why are you backing out now?" Beca ran her hand through her hair, trying to relieve the pressure that was building behind her eyes.
"How can I trust you if you give me nothing to trust you with? How can I trust you if you're just going to keep lying to me?!" Chloe banged her hands on the table, months of worry and frustration pouring out of her.
"I'm not lying to you Chloe!" Beca was shouting now, drawing the attention of the diner back to her once more. Her voice softened slightly. "I've never lied to you. Nor would I ever." Chloe wasn't sure what to believe now. Beca looked so broken now that her mask had fallen, but Chloe knew deep down there was something more.
"Well whatever you're doing, I don't want any part of it. I'm done with… whatever this is Beca. When you decide I'm actually worth your honesty, you know where I am." Chloe stood, leaving a dumbfounded Beca in her wake. She was too stunned to speak as the redhead made her exit. Beca shook her head before pulling herself out of the booth and walking after the redhead as fast as her leg would allow. I don't want any part of it. The words circled Beca's brain, making her heart thump and hands shake. I'm going to lose Chloe. It's all my fault. Tears were starting to form in her eyes but all she could focus on was running – or more limping – after Chloe. Once Beca had exited the diner, she glanced around, trying to catch a glimpse of flaming red hair. Beca was losing hope until she spotted her walking down towards the lake.
"Chloe wait!" Beca took off after her, pushing away the deep pain in her leg and the spots collating at the edge of her vision. The redhead didn't slow up, nearing the edge of the lake.
"Chloe stop, please!" still no response.
"Chloe, please just –"the redhead whipped around, startling Beca. Tears were streaming down Chloe's face, and she was visibly shaking, as if trying to reign in her anger.
"What Beca? What more have you possibly got to say?" Chloe scoffed. "Well it's not like you're actually going to say anything are you? More excuses?" Beca's tears were flowing freely, and Chloe couldn't help feeling guilty. But it was completely overshadowed by her rage.
"It was never supposed to go like this… god, I don't know what to say." Beca looked at her shoes, the fire in her leg spreading to her lower back and hips.
"Then save me the trouble, and leave me alone." Chloe turned again, ready to walk off again when Beca grabbed her hand.
"Chloe just try and let me explain –"Chloe yanked her hand away, making Beca stumble slightly.
"Go away Beca." She turned again and started walking. Come on Mitchell, just tell her for fuck's sake! Don't let her leave!
"Please just wait –"
"Get the fuck away from me!" it's now or never.
"I HAVE CANCER!" Chloe stopped. The air was thick with the words that had just escaped Beca's mouth – the same ones she had never intended to surface in the presence of Chloe. There was nothing but silence, save for the breeze rustling the tree's that surrounded them.
Chloe turned slowly, an unreadable expression on her face. "What?"
Beca sighed. "I have cancer. I found out that day I went to the hospital. It's in my leg and I'm being treated for it." There was nothing more Beca could say. She was mentally exhausted, and the pain in her leg was impossible to ignore now.
"But… I don't… this is a joke right?" Beca recoiled slightly, looking for something – anything in Chloe's face. But there was nothing.
"Why would I fucking joke about this? You're basically saying… what, that you think I'm lying?" she tried to control the venom in her voice, but it was as if Chloe was playing this whole situation down to a sick joke.
"I don't know what to believe! It can't be true!" a sob escaped Chloe, both girls now openly crying. Her voice softened slightly. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Seriously Chloe? That's all you can think of right now? Why I didn't tell you?! Did you not stop to think that maybe I knew this is how you would react?" Beca was crying uncontrollably now, fearing that not only had she lost her best friend, but perhaps what they could have been in the future.
Chloe ran her hands through her hair, trying to stall her emotions. "I can't do this right now… I'm sorry, I just can't…" and with that she turned and ran. But this time Beca didn't even try to stop her.
Sob after sob escaped her lips as her leg finally gave way. She crashed to the floor, her knee taking the full impact as she held her head in her hands. The pain, nausea and headache were too much for her as she vomited on the grass next to her. Acrid bile burned her throat as she emptied the minimal content of her stomach.
This is all my fault. I've lost my best friend. I have no one.
It was all too much. She fell, sideways to the floor, feeling the sobs racking her body. The spots were forming clouds over her vision, pulling her into a darkness she wasn't sure she craved or feared. The last thing she was awake of before she blacked out was Luke's voice and strong arms wrapping around her.
A/N – don't hate Chloe! Or me…