Toshiro woke with quite a bit of surprise that he fell asleep in the first place, even more so at realizing he hadn't been bothered by nightmares or darkness. His body felt rested again, if a little hot, and he idly wondered if the polar bear had some kind of effect on him. He wasn't one to grasp onto anything fluffy when he had nightmares like a child would, he just dealt with them as he came…but he had to admit – only to himself – that the bear's soft fur had been quite efficient at sending him asleep. It was quite comfortable.
Those thoughts aside, he took notice that he was back in the room with the other children, all five scrambling awake sleepily, probably for chores. Dextra seemed most awake and simply waved at him as she hurried out of the room, the two older ones not too far behind but still trudging.
"I guess your side mission was successful?" Toshiro asked them. It was obvious, but he figured it was polite to start some kind of conversation.
"Yup, just enough to call it a good haul but not enough people will freak out too quickly." Heinrich answered, a big yawn messing up the last of his sentence, but the Nobody understood. "Anyway, Papa might have something for you to do to, you should hurry and get breakfast too before he grabs you for something."
Toshiro was about to bite back that he shouldn't have to before remembering he was no longer an authority, and if he wanted the help he needed, he had to cooperate. He'd done clean-up work and other chores before anyway, even as Captain – in fact especially as Captain because Rangiku was as lazy with chores as she was with paperwork – so assisting around the ship shouldn't be too much work. A different environment, maybe, but much smaller than his division, so surely less to clean.
He was somewhat right. Passing by rooms for the other crew members, the reek of male body odor and the sight of atrociously messy rooms made him cringe. He came to realize that the only reason the rest of the ship didn't follow suit was because Law would sooner give himself up to the government than allow his own crew to leave a mess on his ship. Toshiro guessed it came from being a doctor, the squad four Captain and healer of his home had a similar mindset with her division. He tended to do the same, but more out of discipline and respectful appearance than a cleanly need, even if that was also important. For personal rooms, however, Law seemed to leave it up to the inhabitants, though he gave disappointed looks at those who slept in it.
So with an unspoken rule to clean up as you went, chores weren't so much cleaning as taking stock, checking over the ship and various other duties needed to just make sure everything ran smoothly. The only place in consistent need of cleaning was near the engines, and cleaning that was apparently high on the list of punishments Law gave and something everyone dreaded. Toshiro didn't look forward to it much either, he could only imagine how the odor of gas would mess with his head, and cleaning up oil was surely a nightmare. Considering the low amount of tech kept in Soul Society, oil spills and gas leaks were never a problem he had to deal with, and he'd prefer not to break that streak thank you very much.
His role in the daily life of the Heart Pirates seemed to be a different task. For now, he was helping load new supplies into the ship to ready for their departure, to which he snapped at the hungover Shachi and Penguin for not helping out of habit – Law thankfully didn't feel the need to reprimand him, and even encouraged it by suggesting his guest 'give them a good chill' to wake them up; it worked. However, sometime during the loading, Law motioned for the Nobody to step aside and, curious, Toshiro followed.
"You expressed your dislike at helping us in battle unless absolutely necessary, so perhaps there's a different way you can help us with combat." The surgeon began and Toshiro became wary.
"You want me to train your men?" He questioned hesitantly.
"Once again proving you're a sharp one." Law chuckled. "You don't have to show them anything you don't want to, and obviously your skill with ice and water is unteachable, but surely some sword play or melee training isn't out of the question?"
The Nobody went into thought. Well, Law had a point, it wasn't directly helping them kill other human beings. And it might be good for him to have a way to release energy.
"I might even spar with you myself, I'm curious to see how my power might fare against yours."
Toshiro felt ashamed at the rising curiosity he felt, but knowing more about the powers of the man who might be able to cure him was quite the bait.
"I don't think you want your ship destroyed by my ice, it can get destructive, especially now." Toshiro warned with a cold stare. He took note of the raised brow Law gave him in return.
"Definitely not, we'd be sparring on the occasional island." The surgeon agreed. He was not stupid enough to forget about the consequences of their powers in tight spaces. "But basic sword and melee training would be fine on the ship."
'So he's already thought about all this…alright then, pirate, I'll bite. This could be a good way to stay sharp…since meditating no longer works.' Toshiro wondered when his luck had turned around a bit to give him these opportunities. His paranoia refused to let him relax just yet, but he would take the luck while he had it. "Fine, I accept, I'll train your men. It's at least something I'm quite used to, though I'll have to lower down the usual intensity since these men are not Soul Reapers used to spiritual stress."
"Spiritual stress?" Law's head tilted slightly.
"Alongside the physical stress of training and the mental stress of harsh battles, since we use Spirit Energy as the basis for our abilities there is also quite a bit of stress on the soul. It's meant to assist in developing one's spiritual powers to control their zanpaktou and the spirit in it, but since everyone here is human and incapable of such powers, I cannot use my own Spirit Energy to force out theirs."
"I would not advise that, no." The surgeon frowned.
"I could probably do so for you, though, if your Devil Fruit is capable. That's something I would like to see." Toshiro added.
Law's smirk returned, a mischievous glint in his golden eyes.
"That so? That does sound interesting…"
A short silence formed and Toshiro took that opportunity to ask a question.
"Is Dextra also someone with a Devil Fruit power?" He asked.
"Yes, hers allows her to transform into a Harpy Eagle." His face showed a mixture of pride and remorse at this fact, clashing together like a storm in his eyes. Toshiro had a hard time reading it, only able to tell that he was proud to have a powerful ability like that with his children, but that this power had also caused him grief. Did this relate to the scars over her face? The way they avoided talking about the 'incident' that made their Papa so strict with his rules for their thieving missions? It was not his place to ask, but he was curious. He was broken from his musings by a sharp look from Law. "She's not to train her powers with yours unless I deem it safe."
"I had no intention of trying my ability with hers, I was just curious because you both had similar odd Spiritual Pressure attached to your own, which I can now safely assume is the presence of a Devil Fruit.
"…So you can sense other Devil Fruit users?"
"I can recognize one now, yes, that doesn't mean I can tell what kind." Toshiro became guarded again, knowing that revealing this ability might have signed him up as a spy for these pirates.
"Being able to preemptively recognize one is still a huge advantage though." Law responded. "Perhaps point them out if necessary?"
"I can manage that I suppose." Toshiro agreed hesitantly.
And with that Law seemed satisfied and back to work they went. The sun rose higher and the heat rose with it, but a cool breeze hung around the ship, a welcoming relief to the crew as they finished up the loading. Small thanks were given to their odd guest, who didn't seem sure how to respond. His division members always complained about the cold around him. Then again, he refused to be their living air conditioner while they worked, while here he was mostly doing it for himself and the small space let the others share the relief. After reaching that conclusion, he just shrugged off the thanks and continued on.
Noon came around and away from the island they went. They remained on the surface for a bit longer as their guest and resident polar bear both enjoyed the last moments of cool ocean breeze.
Eventually a nurse, Puffin was his name, came to call them in, and with a shared groan the pair returned inside. Toshiro raised his release of energy to keep up with the increasing heat trapped in the metal walls and Bepo stuck around him best he could. The Nobody didn't mind, he even felt a bit sorry for the thick-furred creature.
The small figure eventually found himself back by the window in the galley, watching the ocean and its watery inhabitants move by, a bubble of cold around him as he avoided overheating by doing a little as possible. Tiny bits of frost settled on the metal around him, since he had to up his energy quite a bit to break even with the heat, but it didn't bother anybody. The only one close enough to potentially slip was sitting down anyway, Bepo happily joining in the cold circle.
Word spread about Toshiro helping with some martial art and sword training, but when asked he refused to start while the sub was submerged and holding in so much heat, as the exhaustion from holding a stable temperature with his ability and trying to train them at the same time would stretch his concentration thinner than he liked with his current condition. He had to have part of his mind always on keeping back the darkness, if he spent too much on other things, he could slip again, and no one wanted that. Agreeing reluctantly, the men waited until it was okay to surface. Law didn't seem to like the new condition, but considering the peculiar state of their guest he allowed it. The risk of either Toshiro overheating or losing control of his powers had too dangerous of consequences.
So, now, instead of surfacing because Bepo complained of heat, they surfaced when sure it was safe because the pirates soon grew tired of waiting, curious to see what the Ice Nobody could teach them. Toshiro chose the deck for first practices, preferring the open air to the closed in sparring room inside the submarine. He was the same way at home, he saw no reason to change it now, and it gave another excuse to have the ship surfaced and therefore not burning like an oven.
Volpe was the one who stepped up first this time, the weapons master best choice to see just how above them he was.
"Real swords or wooden?" Toshiro questioned. When he got curious stares, he remembered he wasn't with his division, and the choice between real sword sparring and practice matches may not seem practical to them. "Sometimes training with real swords is better for faster learning, as you get a feel for the weight and movements, while wooden is more for practicing techniques."
"Well, true, yeah, but…do you have a sword?" Volpe questioned.
"I do…it's just not visible most times."
"An invisible sword?" One of the other men scratched their head.
"Not really." Toshiro held his hand up. Ice danced around his hand obediently until the familiar – to him – long katana came to his hand, the chain short with the blade dangling just above the deck. "It's partial to me, so I summon it at will."
"Cool!" Several of the pirates gaped in awe. Law held no surprise, already having seen the blade in their one on one conversation a few days ago.
"That blade looks particularly sharp." Volpe expressed a hesitance to cross swords with the hollow zanpaktou. That was all the answer Toshiro needed, so he let the blade disperse into the void in bursts of ice and motioned to the man holding the wooden swords to toss him one.
He did so, tossing the other to Volpe, and the sparring began. Law watched as their guest easily fell into the role of master, showing up Volpe's skill with the ease of a warrior of several decades of experience and explaining his tactics to the baffled pirates. Every now and then Toshiro had to stop himself as he fell into habit, having to remind himself these were humans not Soul Reapers and trying to put some of his explanations into words they could understand – since Spirit Energy and the like were foreign to them – and keeping his Spiritual Pressure down like he promised Law he would, so as not to strain them further than they were capable of.
Despite the extreme limits, Toshiro felt it went well, even the children showed promise, though they clearly preferred a more rogue style of fighting. Thursday held skill with a knife and while that was something he felt a member of the Stealth Squad would be better at teaching he had a few tips for her as well. Those not gifted for swords he started on hand-to-hand with, once again proving experience beyond a human's years as even the larger Heinrich fell easily to the Nobody's skill. The adults fared little better, and while improving, by the end of it everyone was mildly miffed with their guest. Among the smallest of them and he trumped their abilities like they themselves were just children.
"You had to have been trained since you were like two or something to be that good." Penguin griped as he leaned on the railing of the deck for a break.
"More like I'm older than you think I am and so have had a lot more time training, but you're correct in that I started earlier than most. I also mastered skills faster than most, many call me a prodigy." Toshiro responded.
"Yeah, yeah, quit bragging." Shachi huffed.
"I'm not bragging, honestly I don't share the sentiment, I just stated that's what most say about me. The same ones who say that just as easily turn around and belittle me when they think I'm not listening, so frankly their praise has little meaning to me." The slight bite to his tone betrayed that these people clearly irritated him. What for they couldn't pinpoint, but from what he said they didn't blame him.
"It's 'cause you don't open up more, you got a big wall up, how are people supposed to relate?" Book spoke up.
There was a dark flash in the depths of teal, and Book froze as for a short moment he felt his life was in danger, a whimper escaping him and causing several – Law included – to tense and be ready to pounce. The moment the glares were upon him, Toshiro's gaze went panicked and then hazy, a sharp cold penetrating the air before the figure it belonged to retreated swiftly inside, leaving everyone outside confused and nervous.
Toshiro cursed himself as he moved away from them. Book's words had been painfully familiar, but he knew his reaction was uncalled for. The boy meant no harm, he didn't know Momo, it was just coincidence. She had always tried so hard to melt the ice, but he kept it firmly frozen because he knew what would happen if it cracked even a little, especially so once he was Captain. Weakness was not tolerated, not if he wanted to keep up with the pressures of being the 'prodigy' Captain. But for Momo he always faltered…and because of that he'd made too many mistakes risking her life, and once again for Sora and the others, the same thing happened.
And now without a heart, 'opening up' was a near impossibility. It wasn't something he was familiar with, emotions already felt hollow, something so foreign to him would be impossible to bring out. Anger, fear, apathy, these were natural things for him, sadly, and easy to keep up with.
Those problems aside, even these memories of emotions caused his hold on the darkness to waver, since they were still strong enough to be emotions, and that was too risky. He needed control, and 'opening up' jeopardized that control.
"Everything okay?" He heard a small voice behind him.
"Fine, just…bad memories is all." Toshiro answered the eagle girl calmly. "I'm not mad at your brother, either, he just…what he said…I've heard it before, and following it only ever made things worse." He turned to face the worried Dextra. "I don't want anyone here to relate to me, or pity me, or anything like that…it's only going to cause more trouble than we've already got, I can assure you on that."
"Alright, then we won't try." Dextra surprised him by agreeing easily. "We'll keep it business, he probably just said that because he was mad you knocked him down seven times." She let out a giggle and the hint of a smile twitched at the corner of his mouth. "You never did seem like the type to make friends."
"When most of them die it's kind of hard to." Toshiro responded without thinking.
Dextra returned to a frown; that definitely didn't sound good. She couldn't stand the thought of losing her close family and friends, or anyone in the crew really…not for good. But he must have, there was no doubt that terror hidden deep within his eyes, the fear she could feel beneath layers of iciness, barely detectable even to her sharp sensing Haki. He was far too used to seeing death to ever want to get attached to another living person.
"What's happened to a kid like you to make you so afraid of the world?" She asked, her voice once more quiet.
"That's not something a real child like you should ever have to know." Was the cold response she earned.
"I went through some bad stuff too." She gave a slight shuffle of her feet as she spoke, clearly not comfortable talking about it. "Really bad things…someone hurt me a lot, and then tried to make me hurt my family…I'm not any stranger to the bad kind of people."
"I'm sorry for what happened to you," Toshiro spared her an empathetic glance, "but I'm not ready to share my pain, and there's far too much to tell. I am not as young as you think I am, and that extra time has only cost me more misery. Even if I were to tell you, to get it off my chest…you would only find yourself back in nightmares, as I'm sure you've had your share, and I wouldn't feel an ounce better for it. What's been done to me and those around me can't be so easily moved on from…not when it's still happening."
"Do you mean the way you are now?"
"In a way. What's happening now only seems to be another step in a never-ending nightmare one man is determined to continue playing, always one step ahead, another story of misery awaiting me and everyone else. The less people I drag into that, the better, so please stop asking. I can tell you want no part of any more torture…so stay out of mine."
And to end the conversation before she could counter, he pivoted and quickly walked away.
"But you need help…" She whispered into the now empty hall with a pout.
She startled a bit as someone walked past her, her focus so intent on figuring out Toshiro she hadn't noticed Law was nearby. Her Papa had his determined expression on as he followed after the white-haired being, causing her to worry. He'd been listening then…so surely he knew Toshiro had no intention of sharing, right? But once Law was onto something, it took something major to turn him off from it, and he was a lot more persistent than she was about prying out information, and a lot better at it.
Still, Toshiro had looked uncomfortable and guarded the whole conversation…Dextra had doubts he was going to drop that diamond-hard shield for anyone, even if he had told Papa a lot the other day, information she would never get to know unless the supposed danger of knowing passed.
She just wanted to help.
Sorry for posting late, haven't been feeling very great this week, lots of projects in summer classes and finals on Thursday. Just been... meh.