All the lonely strangers,

Where could they ever belong?

From "Elliot Ripley" by the Belles

For as long as a month, Joan was not quite herself. While on most days, she chattered away over the most random of things, she was now often quiet, only speaking up if someone spoke to her first, and in some cases, giving out only angry or hesitant responses. And on the days when she acted up, while she was usually accompanied by Sharron, she was more likely to do so when alone, walking through the local park all by herself if skipping school or scribbling up foul notes to the mean girls in her classes using comments she'd thought up on her own, instead having Sharron offering up her own quirky witticisms to make things more interesting.

"Just what do you think is going on with that girl?" Aunt Gretchen asked Mike one night after this had been going on for several weeks.

"I have a feeling that something happened to her that she doesn't want us to know about," Mike answered.

"Maybe she has been taken advantage of by one of those no- good Teddy boys, or perhaps she got into a fight with her father. There's a chance she could also have faced some serious punishment after getting herself into mischief at school. You just never know with a girl like Joan, Mike."

"Or couldn't it just be something that all girls her age go through? I'm sure you haven't already forgotten your own teen years so soon, have you, Gretchen?"

Gretchen shook her head. "A woman never forgets those years, but I was nowhere near as wild as Joan is. I had plenty of friends in school and never failed to get good marks in all my classes. I also showed much respect towards my parents, following their rules and never giving them much of a hard time when I was upset. But then again, I had a stable childhood. Joan didn't, and perhaps that's why she's as bad as she is. I wouldn't be too surprised if she ends up being just like her parents, going nowhere."

"Now, Gretchen, I think it's too soon to be making those sort of assumptions," Mike said. "If she was to put more effort into her classes this year, she might have a chance of doing well enough in her O-levels and getting into a decent university. One of her art teachers told me that she thinks Joan would be a good fit for the local art school over here in Liverpool. It may not seem like much of an education to you, but some of the most successful students there go on to be good teachers or get jobs in commercial advertising not so far from home. There's much around the corner for her if she wants to try."

"A girl like her at art school? Have some sense, Mike," Gretchen said with a scoff. "Those schools have some of the maddest people in the world. If you'd read about artists and the things they've done, the beliefs they hold, you'd never want someone as impressionable as Joan anywhere within their sight."

After she'd said this, she noticed Joan sulking around nearby, wearing a baggy old sweater and trousers and giving both her aunt and uncle a dark scowl. "Why are you both looking at me like that? Go ahead with your little talk. I already how big of a disappointment I am, how I'm getting nowhere. There's nothing you say that can surprise me, absolutely nothing at all!"

"Joan, don't get so angry at us," Mike said. "We don't think you're going to be a failure. We're just concerned about your attitude lately. If you start losing interest in school and friends and chores, you'll only make things harder for yourself. Instead of just going around on your own and not saying anything, why not just tell us what's wrong? We may not be able to solve things for you, but it always helps to have someone there to listen and give you some advice."

"That's what you say all the time, Uncle Mike, but we all know your true opinion of the whole matter," Joan said. "You and Aunt Gretchen think I'm pretty much doomed to become my mother. You think about that every day, probably since the day I was born, when my mother started having all those panic attacks. If you're off to a bad start, it's hard to find your way later, don't you agree?"

"Now, young lady, do not speak to us in that way. Have we not taught you anything at all?" Gretchen demanded.

"Oh, you've taught me a lot. I just choose not to go through every bloody word you say."

And before she could think twice about it, she finally confessed to her wrongdoing, "And by the way, I already know about Mother betraying the family. Biggest surprise of my life, I guess I can say."

Mike was dumbstruck, doing nothing but gasping at his niece in shock. It was Gretchen who now asked the concerned questions: "How do you know about that, Joan. Did your father tell you, or did you…?"

"Yes. I went to meet up with Mother at the hotel despite all your warnings against it," Joan admitted. "And perhaps it will please you to know that it was all bloody terrible. She kept acting all nice about things, as if she had nothing to hide. But she just had to have a picture of her precious two new kids set up in her room, and absolutely none of me or Dad, if that makes you any happier about the whole incident. So yes, you were right about her all along. She stopped caring about me because she wanted to start all over, get a lovely new family in the American suburbs to make up for the disgraced one she left behind in Britain. Selfishness as its best, I know realize."

"Now, Joan, I know what she did was wrong, but I think you're being too judgmental towards her," Mike said, finally speaking up. "The older you get, the more you'll realize how important it for mothers to do well with their children from the moment they're born. If those first few months are filled with complications, it has a lasting impact on how her relationship with the child will be as they grow up. In your mother's case, her illness along with your father's absence made it difficult for her to give you the care you needed back then. Because of this, I think she probably started wishing for a second chance, to have another child whom she could give all that care she couldn't give you back when you were born. Considering the circumstances, I thought keeping you out of the way would be what was best for all of us. Your mother could move on and have the family she never had before, and you could go on living with us without having to deal with the trouble that comes with trying to reunite a kid with a long lost relative that has gone on to a better living situation than they had when they were last together."

Joan nodded slowly. "And perhaps it should have stayed that way," she said before once again sulking away.

Gretchen sighed once she was out of sight. "Mike, you've got to do something about that girl. She's not going to get over what happened with her mother that easily. Why not have her see a psychiatrist, or have a talk with the headmistress at her school so they could help her handle it?"

But Mike said nothing, deeply regretting all he'd been hiding from Joan for so long.

…

Things only seemed to be getting worse for Paula as well. Within a month after her first meeting with Joan, her father's condition reached the point when it was now impossible for him to talk. Meetings between him and his family now consisted of him passing around notes while they scrawled in answers using loose-leaf paper the nurse now made sure to always drop off before visits began. Paula continued to play the guitar and read for him, but doing so now made her more depressed than it did before. Her mother sometimes had to fight back tears as she watched her daughter trying to go on with the way things were before despite how dramatically her father's situation was changing. "It's going to become much more difficult for her once the inevitable happens," she admitted to Elaine Kendal, a friend from church one day. "But I just can't get her to stop doing it. The only thing worse than pretending everything is normal is putting everything good on hold because of how hard it is to go on with it due to your feelings of guilt."

"And so it is," Elaine, a mother of five and wife of a modestly successful bookkeeper, told her. "Paula is a very brave girl, Jeanette. You should be proud of how well she's handing such a hard situation. And don't forget that our home is always welcome to you and your daughters should you need any help along the way."

However, the second home Paula was finding was through Gina Harris' family. Unlike Jeanette McGuire, Lucy Harris was always home, usually baking in the kitchen or tending flowers in the large garden that surrounded the entrance of the house. Gina's three siblings were all easy-going and dedicated to helping whenever possible, always going out of their way to make Paula feel welcome. And Collin Harris, although he had a modest job as a mail carrier, appeared to be a very content man, being just as kind as everyone else in his family.

Both Collin and Lucy always asked Paula how her family was doing and requested to know whether they could assist them in any way, and although Paula understood that they meant well, this always embarrassed her. There was nothing Paula hated more than having others thinking she was helpless, and even early on, she made a point of trying to prove to others that she had no problem with handling things on her own. So, whenever Gina's parents asked her these questions, she usually answered by saying, "My family's been adjusting well enough, thank you very much. I sometimes have extra work around the house, but with some help from my sister Michelle, I always manage to get something done. However, if we ever need anything, I'll be sure to let you know."

"That's good to know, dear," Lucy Harris would then say with a smile. "From just seeing the way you behave when you're visiting us, especially when you're interacting with Gina, we can tell that you're a very polite and hard-working girl. Tell your mother and sister that we wish nothing but the best for them."

Paula always nodded and thanked Lucy for her concern, but she was always glad when these conversations ended and she could start in on the music practice sessions that she was now having regularly with Gina. They would start by going inside Gina's bedroom, where they would hear up to three songs through the radio or record player before getting out their guitars and performing what they'd just heard. This was making a big difference for Gina's performances, since she was still at a more basic level than Paula was. She sometimes complained about how they kept playing the same songs way more times than she cared for, but she still appreciated how much Paula was willing to work with her. Very few girls within her grade level cared much about performing music, with many making snarky comments over how they themselves had given up on their piano lessons years ago, or even going so far as saying that playing the guitar was a job better suited for boys. "If you really want to get anywhere, Gina, why not just join us at Willington's and try on the many dresses they have there?" one of them once asked her. "It's certainly less tiresome than sitting around playing some old guitar all afternoon."

But Gina always ignored them, giving them a smug, indifferent look to let them know she wasn't interested in their offer. The girls took this indifference to mean that she was just another hopeless case, with jokes going around that by the time she reached her final years of high school, she would probably end up in one of those homes for wayward girls after going too far with some teddy boy she barely knew. Knowing well some of the rumors that went around about her, Gina often told Paula, "If they only saw how good I'm getting with the guitar, I'm sure they'd think twice before dismissing me as a lost cause."

"That's just how it always is for girls like us," Paula said. "If we don't like the same things as everyone else, then people always assume we're strange at best, or else they think there's something wrong with us."

"And how often have other girls called you strange?"

Paula smiled. "Maybe just once or twice, I'll admit. But because of what's happening to my father, I feel like people automatically assume they must feel sorry for me, and I hate that for some reason."

Gina nodded, understanding her point. People, whether they were willing to admit it or not, usually saw you as weak in these situations, thinking that whatever hardship you were facing always brought you down and left you unwilling to do anything without the help of another person. Despite her own lack of serious difficulties, she'd felt this way a number of times before, although she'd never admitted it to anyone before. Sometimes she felt it was better to keep mum about your personal complaints and just focus on actively sorting through your problems, a belief she continued to hold during her years with the Belles.

And so, instead of going on with the conversation, she said, "Now how about we follow your own advice and focus in on our music practice instead of acting all sad over things?"

"Of course, Gina. No better way to prove all those mothers and girls wrong."

And that's when they started in on their practicing session.