Howdy, Everyone! This chapter is shorter than the others, and has less happen. It's also very character based. I just wanted to include this in the story.

Warnings: This chapter contains Transphobia, bullying, suicide mention, self-loathing, PTSD and panic attacks. This is probably my darkest chapter yet, so please put your comfort first before reading. If I have missed any warnings, please let me know so I can put them in.

Also, if any of this comes off as rude or offensive, please let me know. I'm just unsure sometimes of how my writing seems.

Also, in the flashback scene, Bakugou uses He/Him pronouns.

The three of them sat in silence. Well, silence wouldn't be the best word to describe it. The sounds of the group surrounding the trio added to a background melody of the Blue Street Community Centre. Bakugou had no idea how long the Community Centre had been around for, nor how long it had been hosting Transgender Support Groups. Frankly, she didn't care. This place wasn't anything to her until recently. She couldn't give a less of a shit if the Villains Society used it on weekends for meet-ups. Although, having a fight with them would sure help get rid of the nerves plaguing her right now.

But, despite not giving a damn how long this building had been listening and hosting the group, she couldn't help but think about how often the conversations surrounding her took place. The words of people trying to figure out their own identities. The fear they felt towards a world that was unkind to them far too much. The pain of it all.

Letting her eyes fall close, Bakugou decided to do a rare thing for her. She listened to other people.

"Yeah, got my Top Surgery date all set up! August, the 11th. Can't believe I'm finally doing this. Just need to get the money ready. Wonder if there still hiring at the Take-Out place…."

That was a term Bakugou had heard multiple times throughout her chat room adventures. Top Surgery. It seemed to be a goal for quite a lot of people. Something you'd spend years working towards, through appointments and paperwork and a whole lot of other stuff Bakugou didn't read about. Surgery talk, any type of surgery, made her uncomfortable. It was the reason she made sure Kirishima never asked about it. The idea of laying there defenceless, not able to speak, not able to move. Just at someone's complete mercy. Made her fidgety just thinking about it.

Flashes. Memories began to resurface. The villain, the fucker who turned her into a marble, catching Bakugou off guard, leaving her helpless while the one with scars pulled her into the shadows. The shadows. They don't leave her. Not in her recollections. Not in her dreams. She still feels it sometimes. Nights when its pitch black, not a light or anything to be seen in her room. When she closes her eyes, the shadows come back. Bakugou knows it isn't there. She was safe in U.A, at least she hope-thinks she is. No villain will get to them. Not without warning. But the shadows, they don't leave her.

No. Those memories are not going to get her tonight. Not fucking now. Letting her head rest on the bars behind her, she once again attempts to take in the sounds around her.

"Something's up with my Dog. She's doing that thing again. Y'know, with her leg? I think it's time to take to the vet. God, that guy's sooooo annoying.

Bakugou was slightly surprised to hear something like this. Something so…average. Bakugou had to spend most of her time in silence about her life, about being a girl. Couldn't let anyone know. Keep it a secret, locked down. Maybe not forever, but for now. Not until she gets a handle on it. Once it's under her control, then she'll decide what to do next. But, this meeting was a release. Somewhere she didn't have to worry about it being used against her. To hear some random girl talking about her freaking mutt just struck her as weird. They had all the time they wanted to talk about that stuff.

While Bakugou was willing to chalk up her annoyance to "Everyone but me is a fucking idiot", a quieter part of her mind spoke to something different. Jealously. This girl didn't feel as threatened as Bakugou, not scared to talk about what she wished, when she wished. She had control. And Bakugou craved that.

Letting out a frustrated breath, huffing like an annoyed dog, Bakugou readjusted herself and sat up a bit more straighter. For some reason, listening to everyone made her feel more relaxed. Like, the more she knew about the people, the less antsy they made her feel. Fuck if she knew why. So, once again closing her eyes and opening her ears, she let the sounds surround her.

Bakugou would regret that.

"I-It's that guy. Meries. H-Him and hi-his friends. They keep coming around to my house, throwing bottles at my window. Keeps saying he'll kill me if I don't stop coming to school. My parents won't stop asking why it's happening, but-but I can't tell them! I just wish he'd live me alone."

Bakugou didn't need context to know what was happening from these words, punctuated with sobbing and tears. And she couldn't stop the memories from flowing back. Only these one's came from an earlier age.

Two Years ago

"Plea-please, Bakugou. I don't- I didn't mean to-"

The words from the student were cut out by a crushing punch colliding with their stomach, smashing the air out their lungs. They quickly crumbled to the ground, gasping for breath.

"If I wanted to hear you talk, Freak-Boy, I'd ask!" Bakugou stood over his victim, in a sick form of victory. The kid, Neilis, was on his knees, trying to find someway, somehow, to get out of this. A situation she didn't deserve to be in. The two friends of Bakugou, Nelis didn't know their names, stood behind him. Laughing and cheering on each of his remarks and blows. Like spectators to a sport.

"I won't….I won't wear a skirt again! Please, Bakugou! Just-Please!"

Bakugou was a bully. A significantly popular bully, as a powerful Quirk like his would allow. But a bully nonetheless. You didn't need much to incite his wraith. Talk too much. Talk too little. Walk too fast. Walk too slow. Be weaker than him. Be stronger than him. It didn't matter. It never did with bullies.

But today, today he had a sadistic mission. Nellis, the 'weird' kid of the class, always keeping to herself. Had a Quirk that didn't stand out. Hell, no one was even sure what it was. Something to do with plants. She talked to Deku sometimes, which was a surefire way to become a target of Bakugou. But surprisingly, that wasn't the reason today why she was his particular victim.

No, it was because today, of all days, she decided to come to school wearing a skirt.

As soon as he saw it, Bakugou was planning to make tormenting her his purpose today. But something ate at him. Why was she wearing a skirt? She knew she would stand out. A boy dressed in something like that. So, why was she doing it? Curiosity was a weakness of Bakugou. But if you ever used that word to described it, you'd be picking up your teeth off the ground.

Another emotion, one that Bakugou wasn't sure of, also crept beneath the surface. Something that Bakugou had felt before, but never gave the time of day. An emotion that scared her. And Bakugou didn't like being scared.

So, during lunch, he corned the kid. Took two friends, Choji and….some dumbass name he couldn't bother to remember. He didn't need to know who they were. He just wanted an audience.

The answer Nellis gave didn't do away with the unknown emotion. It only caused it to rise, like a flame on tinder. And Bakugou did not like that. One. Bit.

And so, he needed to prove something to himself. Prove he wasn't like this little loser. Bakugou only knew one way to do that.

Left leg rising, Bakugou's foot came into contact with Nellis's face, a disturbing crunch sound resounding out throughout the halls. The rest of the people around were all frozen. Not cheering for Bakugou like his friends, but not doing anything to stop it. Deku was home sick today. He wouldn't have been standing around doing nothing if he was here.

Kneeling down to Nellis, grabbing a clump of her hair and holding her up face-face, Bakugou let his next words come out slowly and coldly.

"I'll say this once, you fuckin' tranny. If I see you around here again, I'll fucking kill you." And kill this feeling, Bakugou thought to himself. Seeing this kid, it brought that unknown feeling to the surface. And Bakugou spent soo much time burying it.

Before he could continue, an arm grabbed him and pulled him back up to his feet. A teacher, Mr. Scheel, glasses nearly falling off his face. Scheel was screaming into his face, demanding to know what was happening. The two of Bakugou's supporters quickly made themselves scarce. Typical. A few of the students, one's who had been standing closer to the attack than others, were running in behind Scheel. Checking up and trying to help Nellis. Bakugou barely noticed. He barely noticed what Scheel was saying to him. Barely noticed the one month detention he got. Barely noticed the fact he would've been expelled if it wasn't for the fact that someone with a Quirk as strong as his was a mark of pride for the school.

All he did notice was the Nellis didn't come back after that.

Shaking hands. The breath coming in and out, like cold blades in her lungs. Piercing and tearing her insides. The pain was all in her head, but that didn't matter. Bakugou felt like she was going to die.

Opening her eyes up cautiously, Bakugou looked across the group to the source of the voice. There, tear stained red eyes and crouched in fear, was the girl. A denim jacket clad her body, with a short brown bowel cut framing her face.

"Christ, she even looks like Nellis."

Bakugou used to look back at that memory with pride. Pride! What the fuck was wrong with her? Was this some sort of punishment? Karma paying her back for what she did to that kid. She doesn't even know what happened to Nellis. Did she leave? Did she…

The sharp daggers in her lungs getting worse, she felt as if her chest was about to explode. There was a valid reason Bakugou was afraid of anyone finding out. How she knew what cruel things people could do to people like her. She was one of those people. So filled with hate and rage. So short-sighted.

Looking around for anyway to ground her, Bakugou's eyes began to dart around the area. Looking at anywhere except the girl. Never her.

Tsuyu was still talking to the white haired woman. Would she be so trusting and helpful if she knew what Bakugou had done? To Nellis? To Deku?

There was always one thing that could give Bakugou support in times like this. One person. Spinning around to her left, she saw her best friend. Same stupid rooster hair. Same stupid grin. Same stupid Kirishima. Talking to the guy from earlier, Zach or whatever his name was.

And all she could think about what how he would react if he knew the real her. The person she used. The one who hurt people cos she felt like it. Kirishima never made his opinions about bullies secret. Hated them. Always did, always would. More than once, Kirishima had gotten into fights with Second Years' who had harassed the members of Class-1A. Got a few broken bones and detentions for it. Kirishima didn't care. Being there for his friends. That was all that mattered.

And Kirishima considered Bakugou one of her friends, and by God was she grateful for that. But would he if he knew? If he knew what his history held?

"Like I'd be friends with a piece of shit like you!"

"You think sorry makes up for it?"

"How many people did you hurt? How many!"

Imagining Kirishima saying these words, his whole opinion of her changing . Kirishima leaving her, seeing her as just another bully. She couldn't take that. Not him. Not Kirishima.

Compared to her other panic attacks, this was far more lowkey. The hurried breathing being the only sign to the outside world of it, and even that was covered up by the voices of those around here. But not completely covered. The feeling of something grabbing her hand reminded her of that.

Looking down, she saw someone else's hand grasping hers. Holding it tightly. Letting her know that she only had to let go when she felt like it. Amazing what Kirishima could convey through something like holding hands.

No-one could touch Bakugou and live to tell without a few broken bones. Bakugou supposed it said a lot about what Kirishima was to her that he could do this.

"Hey, Bakugou." Kirishima began, voice low enough not to be heard. "You good, girl?"

"I don't deserve this. I don't deserve you. I don't deserve it."

Unwilling to talk, unable to speak. This was not something she wanted even Kirishima to know she felt. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

But, with all her strength, Bakugou managed to muster up one question.

"Why do you like me?"

Eyes focused on the ground, Bakugou wasn't facing Kirishima. Didn't want to face him. She couldn't tell how he was reacting.

"Because you're the coolest girl I know." In her peripheral vision, Bakugou could notice Kirshima bringing his head down to her level, hoping that his words had reached Bakugou. Turning her head, Bakugou saw Kirishima's eyes. So kind and full of admiration.

Bakugou didn't respond. Didn't want to say that she didn't deserve this title. Didn't want to confess to all her pass sins. Didn't want to see the look in Kirishima's eyes change.

So, Bakugou just held his hand.