Trying very hard not to let the purr building in him escape, Erik met Mira's gaze head on with a small smirk. He could still hear the multiple souls clamoring for his attention, and he had to admit, his dragon chose his mate well. Beautiful. Crazy. Respected and feared with a drive to protect her family that matched his own.
And then he heard the one soul that made his pointed ears twitch and had him fighting the urge to gag.
'Oh wouldn't he look so cute with Lucy? Blond hair, indigo eyed babies! Wait, what if he's with Meredy? Ohmygod their babies would be so cute!'
He could feel his dragon recoil and hiss in slight horror, even as he started to whine.
'Oh come on you love crazy asshole, you're going to whine now?' Erik demanded.
'Our mate isn't supposed to be picturing us with someone else! She's our mate, no one else!'
'Cool it you psychotic lizard she's a fucking matchmaker, it's what she does! Now calm your fat ass down!' Erik mentally snarled, even as he managed to keep his face devoid of any emotion.
The snarl he got in return he ignored as he focused on Mira, watching as one dainty white brow lifted, her head tilting and the guild lights making her hair shimmer in a way that had his mouth watering. He had to think off a way, and fast, to keep her from continuing to try and pair him up with others, because from the memories alone that he was getting from everyone around them, it would be nightmarish. When she set her eyes on a couple that she was sure would work together, she was like a feral dragon who hadn't eaten in a number of days. Then he focused back on the person he was hanging onto when they began to stir and quickly tossed the still limp form to her feet.
"Ask flame brain here about his mates." He stated flatly before walking away, catching Lucy by her arm as she started to go by him, Nathair still wrapped around her arm.
"Not now Tink, you want to stay away from her baby radar for as long as possible." He explained just as a loud squeal rang through the hall, followed by a solid thud as Mira fainted, hearts replacing her eyes. He fought hard against his dragon to go back to her to make sure she was alright, but didn't quite catch the distinct growl that slipped past his lips, drawing every slayers, and Lucy's attention.
Groaning, he dragged Lucy behind him before plopping down at a table in the far corner of the guild, already hearing four sets of quick footsteps approaching him.
"What the hell was that toxic breath?" Gajeel grunted, dropping down across from the poison slayer with a thud. Wendy was quick to scoot in next to him, Laxus following her even as Macbeth slid onto the bench on the other side of Lucy.
"What was what?" Erik huffed, crossing his arms and glaring holes through the table in front of him.
"Don't give us that crap, you know exactly what. That growl you gave. Don't tell me-" Gajeel leaned forward, bracing an elbow on the table even as a snarky grin lifted his lips.
"Shut it lug nut!" Erik snarled, glaring with an intensity that had Laxus lifting a brow. "It's no ones business but mine, so keep your hard ass out of it!"
"Wow Erik...it must be something pretty important, your insults don't have as much flair or bit as they normally do." Macbeth drawled, watching his friend closely and not backing down when the glare was turned on him.
"Fuck you asshole." The lack of venom behind his voice had everyone at the table blinking, and staring at him. "What?!" He snarled, scooting down on the bench in a vain attempt to make himself smaller. When Gajeel started laughing hysterically, sharp claws found themselves digging into the wood of the table.
"Oh this is going to be hilarious! She's-"
"I said shut it asshole!"
Smirking, Gajeel leaned further across the table, closer to him, and dropped his voice to a low growl. "She's your mate isn't she?"
When Erik merely bared glistening fangs at him and slunk further down in his seat, he ignored the color draining from the others faces. The embarrassment that he was feeling was not something he was used to, and dammit he wanted the feeling to go the fuck away.
"Ohmygod are you serious?" Lucy breathed, turning to look at him with wide, incredulous eyes. "Of all of the mages here, why her?"
"What the fuck do you mean by that?" Erik snapped, straightening in his seat. "Why can't it be her?! She's beautiful, strong, kind, has a good heart, wicked sense of humor and-" Erik cuts off, eye widening as he sees Lucy's lips start twitching from trying not to laugh.
"Well, that answers that." She murmured, lifting a brow before shifting her arm to continue running gentle fingers over the smooth scales of Nathair who was busy watching everyone, his tongue occasionally darting out to taste the air around him.
"Oh go bite dreamers dick." Erik snapped, pouting slightly. He didn't have to look on his other side to know Macbeth was now trying to fight a nosebleed at that image. Seeing her pale then flush brightly red, he smirked at the internal screeching and blabbering her soul did gave. She liked Erik. She really did. Mira being his mate only emphasized how misunderstood the man was. This though... what the hell was wrong with the man that he would say that out loud!
Giving her a knowing look, he turned to find a pair of rather intense set of grey blue eyes staring at him. "What do you want lightning dick?"
"You can hear souls right?"
The look he gave Laxus was a quite obvious 'duh'.
"You said Natsu has two mates. Who are they?" Laxus asked steadily, keeping his eyes on Erik even as Eriks eye narrowed before widening as the knowledge that only Laxus, and now Erik, had. Laxus waited patiently, before taking a deep breath of relief when Erik tilted his head ever so slightly and nodded once. With that Laxus got up and stalked off, grabbing Bickslow by the neck of his coat and dragging him off, Bix's yelps and babies trailing along behind them.
"What the hell was that about?" Gajeel muttered, watching Laxus go with a narrow eyed look.
"Don't worry about it bolt brain." Erik sighed, rolling his head on his shoulders before responding to the hum from Nathairs soul and reached out for him. Wordlessly Lucy handed him over, and he smiled slightly at the feel of his snakes tongue tasting him. Hearing the hesitancy coming from the table across from him, Erik sighed and turned to the youngest slayer, drawing on his secret love of children for patience. All he wanted to do at this point was find somewhere to crash for the night, but couldn't figure out how to talk to about it.
"What's up little queen?" Erik asked softly, a warmth in his eye that not many ever saw, and Wendy blinked a little bit in surprise at seeing it, but hummed in response before speaking.
"Is it true? Is Mira-nee your mate?" She asked seriously, and for the life of him, he couldn't find it in himself to dance around the answer.
Letting out a sigh, he nodded, following it with, "I don't want to tell her just yet though, because I have to come to terms with it myself, and I have to find a way to get to know her better. I don't feel comfortable just dropping that on her."
"We can respect that. And while this may be throwing even myself under the proverbial bus at some point, I may have a way for you to start getting close to her.'" Grinning, Wendy fell silent, letting her soul speak for her, and started giggling a little evilly when at first horror then consideration, and finally acceptance crossed his face.
"Well I'll be damned...that is a thought. And I think I know just how to approach her about it. Thanks biscuit." Erik murmured before climbing to his feet, patting her affectionately on the head before heading for the bar where Mira had managed to get to after recovering from her fainting spell.
He could only snicker when he heard the waves of fear that passed through the others who had been at the table, and with his dragon hearing was able to hear Lucy whisper demand, "What the hell did you just do?!"
"I gave him the in he needed to get close to Mira, and closely, that's all." Wendy shrugged, her desire to see her nakama happy overshadowing her own shiver of trepidation that washed through her.
"Then why the hell am I suddenly terrified?" Gajeel asked. When she merely shrugged and smiled faintly again, he felt his horror grow, and at that point Erik let out a bark of laughter, drawing Mira's attention just as he stepped up to the bar to lean on it with his elbows, mindful of Nathair wrapped around his forearm.
"Hello Erik, what can I get you?" Mira asked sweetly, giving him a smile that made his dragon sigh and his pants grow tight, even as he shuddered when he hear her Sitri soul pairing him up with every available woman, and the occasional man. Before he could answer however, Mira glanced down at the slight movement she saw in the corner of her eye and zeroed in on Nathair who had lifted her head and was watching her closely, tongue flicking to taste the air around her before inching closer.
"Um, Erik? Where did you find that snake?" She asked, reaching a gentle hand out, a small smile curling her lips when she felt the soft tongue flicker against her fingertips.
"Hm? Oh Nathair? I got him from a pet store on my way here. I heard his soul calling out for a friend, and I answered it. Mira, I'd like you to meet Nathair. Nathair, this is Mira, the resident demon and bartender." Erik explained, lifting his arm so they could be closer, feeling his dragon all but melt into a gooey puddle and purrr as she cooed at the small snake.
"I think I actually know him already. A couple off months ago when I was coming back from Porlyusicas, I came across some children in the forest hurting a snake that looked a lot like this one. I scooped up the snake, scared the children, then took the nsake to a nearby pet shop knowing they would have a better chance knowing and being able to take care of him then I would." Mira explained, her smile spreading when Nathair shoved his head into her palm, and not seeing the shocked look that crossed Eriks face at her admission.
Giving himself a quick mental shake after hearing that, he shot her a pantie melting smirk, which only grew when he heard her own and her demon souls silently curse him and the flare of molten lava that became her lower stomach. He had to give it to her and her demons, they were certainly creative and descriptive. Once again he found himself fighting the tightening in his own pants at the scenes she was flipping through with the two of them as the main attraction. Then of course Sitri had to butt in with her matchmaker tendencies and he felt bile rise in the back of his throat at the idea of who she was pairing him with.
"Mira, while I thank you greatly for rescuing Nathair when you did, I need to ask you to stop with what's going through that demonic head of yours." He said evenly. He wanted to be polite, not his usual venomous self, as he didn't think it'd when him any points. And when she merely smiled at him serenely, he had to fight back a shudder of terror. The smile spoke of endless hours of torture, and all the ways she could do it without once raising a finger or her voice.
"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about Erik." Baby blue eyes gleamed at him, and he knew he needed to tread carefully. From her point of view she just wanted him happy, and that meant setting him up with any and all guildmates until he found the one he was happy with. Taking a careful breath, he met her gaze before rattling off comments to what he had heard from her.
"First off, Lucy is my kin, my dragon has claimed her as such, and to think about sleeping with her, or having any kind of relationship with her, or Meredy or Angel, due to the same reason, screws with my mind more than my own naturally pyschotic nature. Also, dragons have mates, someone who is meant for just them for all of their lives, and honestly, pursuing anything more than one night stands would end up being more painful for the other party than me because of that. As for my stamina, I've certainly had no complaints, and I'm confident I could keep up even with you. And those deeper, darker desires you have that you don't let out often? Sounds like a grand good time." Leaning further against the bar, he flashed his dimples at her when he grinned, sharp teeth peeking out past thin lips.
Her eyes had widened and at first she had paled, but then when he finished the flood of color that flew across her cheeks had his dragon wanting to purr in satisfaction. Gulping hard against the stronger flood of fantasies that teased her, and him as well, she reached below the bar for a glass with a slightly trembling hand.
"Wh-" Mira paused to clear her throat, trying to calm the thunder that was now her heartbeat and the fire that her blood was pumping through her. "What can I get you Erik?"
"I think the better question is what I can get for you. I have a proposition for you, one I think you'll like." He said, leaning back to shift and try to loosen his now far too tight pants.
"And that would be?"
"I know you're the resident matchmaker, it's hard to miss, and while your heart is in the right place, and you're doing it with all the best intentions in mind for everyone, I think you could stand to use a bit of an underhanded means in which to make sure pairings work. You'll have more success, and definitely less disappointments."
"And that method would be?" She asked, her eyes narrowing as she watched him closely.
"Me. With my sound magic, I hear souls, and peoples thoughts. While I won't discuss peoples direct thoughts unless absolutely necessary, I can help with pairing souls up with other souls for the harmony they're actually looking for. Most of the time I'm dealing with listening to souls being whiny bitches, but the right soul will mellow them out and save me a fucking headache from listening to them."
"And what do you get out of this?" Mira asked slowly. So far she liked how this was sounding, but she wasn't about to make any promises yet.
"Three things. One, you keep me out of the limelight. Completely. If I help you pair people up, you keep me out of any explanation that may or may not be needed. I don't want, or need, that kind of attention."
"Fair enough. The second thing?"
"Second, you stop, and don't even attempt to pair me up with anyone. Ever. As I already told you, I have a mate, and I need to work on them. Can't do that very well if I'm fending off the advances of other mages."
"Makes sense. Can you at least tell me if you know who they are and if you're going to tell them?" She crossed her arms at this point, hoping that she could trip him up by telling her who it was.
"Yes, I know who she is, and yes I'll tell her eventually, when she and I are both really ready."
"Alright. And the third thing?" Damn, so much for getting that out of him.
"Third, I'll continue to help with matching people and souls up, we can even make our own little team if you'd like, for a specific, unique field that we'll have a home advantage over. I honestly think you'll like it. And in exchange, any time you're trying a new poison, or making something with some kind of poison, feed me at no extra charge." He was watching her closely now, having partially blocked her soul so it wasn't too overwhelming.
"Do you have anything for collateral? To show this is legit? And what would we even call ourselves if we did form this team?" She quirked a brow at him, and he had to fight like hell to keep from leaping over the bar kiss the hell out of her. Rolling his eyes, he answered her, and in turn, throwing one of his close friends under the matchmaking buss.
"I told you dragons have typically have one mate. Natsu has two and as of today, they're both here. It's part of what the huge brawl was about."
"Really?! Who are they?!" Mira squeaked, leaning over and unintentionally flashing a good deal of cleavage that had the tip of Eriks ears running hot.
"They're going to be quite the terrifying trio that's for sure. Natsu, Bix, and Meredy are mates with each other, they just haven't claimed each other yet." He could see her starting to vibrate, and already knowing that his ears were going to hate him, he decided to answer her last question. "And our team can be called Psychotic Matchmaker, seeing as how that is exactly what we would be."
The resulting squeal and thud that echoed through the hall had everyone falling silent, and when they turned to the bar, finding Erik with his hands clapped over his ears, but a shit eating grin on his face, a mass shiver spread through the hall. Suddenly they were all very, very scared.
Feeling the eyes on him he pulled his gaze from his gorgeous and absolutely psycho-sexy, unconscious mate and looked around the guild. Anywhere he heard stronger hints of fear or a name whispered deep inside in terror he paused to meet that guildmate's eyes. People fled. They just straight up hopped out of their seats and ran from the guild. He loved it.