post-chapter 699. heavily inspired by the Sparrowkeet Series' twelfth chapter, an A:TLA fic by audreyii-fic, though somehow not like it at all.
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6. thank you
He feels right in her arms, if a bit too light; the war has made a ghost of him. Naruto is light, too, but he can stand up straight by himself. Nevertheless, Sakura drags them both into a medical tent, water in her eyes and something bright in her lungs.
She cries, and cries, and no one is bringing her tissues, why is no one bringing her some fucking tissues already? Sasuke sighs, a smile hidden in that sound, and presses her face into his shoulder. Adrenaline and exhaustion have finally made him go no-turning-back-crazy, she figures, because Sasuke would never, ever do this where other people could see. Or at all, maybe? Sakura doesn't know.
Sasuke says:
"Thank you."
She cries again, this time on his shirt. She falls asleep with her head on his shoulder and her legs sprawled over Naruto, and everything is right, at that moment.
Sasuke is, and has always been, a man of gestures. His body is too fast, his reflexes too honed, and both betray what his mouth refuses to say. Sakura notices this as she's noticed everything else about him: easily and eagerly.
Ino says:
"Back at the Academy, I thought Sasuke was more than he was. He's still hot, like, damn, but if that's all there is to it, should you even care about him? Konoha has always had a surplus of hot guys, and you can get a nine-out-of-ten easy. And he might even smile at you more than once a month. Can you believe? Ground-breaking, I know. I mean, sure, you say I don't get it, but trust me, I know guys. There's only so much stuff you can excuse before you get your heart broken. Just make sure you're not imagining another layer when there isn't one to start with. Please? Just—make sure."
Sakura sips the rest of her tea, and waves her off. Ino frowns, a degree of worry in every line between her brows, but doesn't complain when Sakura changes the subject.
Sasuke is an occasional hand at the small of her back when they are alone. Unlike Sakura, privacy is not enough of a reason for him to reach out so easily. She accepts this, like everything else he gives her.
Naruto says:
"You should probably be more selfish, Sakura-chan! I get where you're coming from, I really do, but that's really stingy on the Bastard's part! It's like … It's like if you're going to Ichiraku's and you pay for a bowl of ramen, but, when it arrives, it's just cold broth. You know? No eggs, or meat, or anything! And you're, like, starving, so you don't complain, because Teuchi-san would probably get mad and take a long time making your next order, you know how he gets whenever I make a suggestion, but honestly, what even is ramen without noodles!? I get that the broth is essential, but—"
Naruto trails off eventually, one hand settling on his stomach, and asks her if she wants to go out for ramen. Sakura laughs, secretly thankful for the self-inflicted distraction, and follows him through the streets.
To see Sasuke is enough, if she is being honest. Years of staring at a fading photograph hurt more than she cares to admit, and it feels good, having him in the flesh. Shouldn't that alone be enough? Just to see him there, sitting inches away from her bent knees and folded elbows?
Kakashi says:
"I can't say that I know how this feels; I can only suppose, and be satisfied with the way everything has turned out. But this doesn't mean you should accept everything Sasuke does, or doesn't. He's had a hard life, and I know he keeps to himself. But a relationship is not a mission; it is not built on one-sided effort, nor should it feel like a task. You shouldn't need to read underneath the underneath when it comes to the person you love. Make sure to keep that in mind."
Sakura shifts her weight from one foot to the other, feeling sticky and uncomfortable in the Hokage's office, and manages an unconvincing smile. Kakashi straightens in his chair, and she leaps, settling her mission report on his desk and excusing herself with a mumbled string of words.
Outside, she breathes in the summer air and focuses on the silence. After all, despite everything, there are still things Sakura doesn't want to hear.
She loves him, and that has always been enough, even if she isn't measuring herself anymore. But self-doubt is nothing new in her repertoire, and sometimes she falters, or doesn't look him in the eye, or wants him to take a step for once.
Hinata says:
"When it came to Naruto-kun, it wasn't always easy. At the beginning, I thought of giving up on him. Of admiring him from afar, and telling myself it would be enough. He was too bright for someone like me, who needed to be pushed to better myself. He pushed me a lot, back then, and I needed that. But I'm proud to say that I was the one who took all the first steps when it came to us, to, um, to being t-together. A-And it was embarrassing, and it was difficult, but I don't regret it, even when people said I didn't he deserve me. If I was always the one pursuing him, didn't that mean he didn't care for me? Well ... I'd be lying if I said I didn't doubt myself then, but I did the only thing I could, and I kept moving forward. And I don't regret that. I wouldn't regret it, even if things had gone wrong."
Sakura takes Hinata in, from the straight angle of her back to the soft smile on her glowing face, and stirs her drink with the straw. Condensation slides to pool around the base of the glass, glittering in the sun, and Sakura wipes it off with her hand.
Hinata kindly moves on, chatting about mangoes in the fruit market.
She draws the line at pulling Sasuke into a kiss. She could; she has thought, many times, about doing so. And Sakura is an altruistic woman, but she can be selfish when she wants, and this time she wants. Or maybe she is just getting a little tired of skirting around the edges, waiting for Sasuke to reel her in.
Sai says:
"I once read a book that portrayed this sort of behavior. Ino said that it was a slow-burn, and apparently that is a genre that people want to read, for some reason? In my personal opinion, it only made me feel impatient, which is not a feeling I like to associate with reading. When I asked her about it, she got frustrated at me and told me I didn't understand women, which was unfortunate. But I still think that such generalizations are wrong; I think some women might like the slow-burn genre, just as you enjoy those gross books Kakashi reads, even if you think no one knows about it. I think some women might have gotten tired of waiting, considering it's what they've been doing their whole life, and I think some women have the right to feel like this. You shouldn't feel conflicted for not getting what you deserve."
Sakura gapes at him, hands still glowing green. Sai smiles up at her from the hospital bed, and returns to his book. The cover is a lurid picture of an undressed woman, the binding is dark-red, and Sakura barely manages not to slap him. If only because a tiny voice at the back of her head tells her he's right.
The gates are deserted when Sasuke leaves, the blinding lavender of dawn blanketing them both. Sakura feels out of breath, but little puffs of air burst out of her mouth somehow, as she waits. For something, for anything, please, just,anything —
Sasuke says:
"I know this is not how you wanted things to go. I know you would be disappointed if I apologized, so I'll refrain. But, just as there are things you must do, there are things I must do. To ease the wound I inflicted on the world … It isn't as if I haven't realized how much this must hurt you. And yet … even though you know how selfish I can be, you still remain at my side. Even though I don't deserve to ask you to do so. I … don't expect anything from you, because I don't want you to feel like this is something you must do. You have done too much for me already. I want to be able to repay you. I want—you deserve someone better. And … I want to be better."
Sakura tries to find something to say, but comes up empty. Sasuke looks at her again, face shifting back to its usual apathy, and doesn't kiss her. To do that would be too hurtful a blow, even if the lack hurts too.
She watches him leave, instead.
The gates are crowded when Sasuke returns, the blistering noon sun hurrying all the travelers passing by. Sakura waits in the shade of the sentinels' house, stomach fluttering, and her heart clenches in her chest when Sasuke steps across the gate.
The air goes cooler, then, and the electricity in her burrows out, goosebumps following in its wake. She hasn't forgotten how they parted.
Sasuke says:
"I'm home."
Sakura says:
"Welcome back."
Sasuke says:
"Thank you," and his voice wavers.
Sakura says nothing, this time. Just takes his hand, intertwining their fingers, and they walk together into the village.