If Only

by Castlefan6

Authors Note: Thisis my AU version of an alternate ending to Love and Die in LA. Some Angst, some canon but mostly AU. All things are the same till the Gantz ending, Previously notes courtesy of Dust Jackets dot com.

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

Chapter 9

Previously

"Rick, if you start to apologize, I'm going to hit you, and I mean hard. I always wanted to help, there were days I struggled, and I mean bad to the point I could have been one of those girls. God if I could help just one person get their life on track, I would be happy," as her fingers opened the envelope, removed the contents, and then almost fainted. Rick rushed to her to hold her up not looking at the document.

"Darlene, take a sip of water, breath deep, OK good, now again, OK, are you OK Now?"

"Yeah, but look at this, I mean I knew Wayne was wealthy, but I never asked or cared. This shows I'm worth $25 million dollars, I can't believe that, it can't be right."

"Well, it's not correct, remember I told you I asked them to run the figures based on 5% of your worth, that would make you worth, $500 Million." This time she does faint into his arms.

Red Rock Canyon

Park Grounds

1:30 PM Local Time

Rick laid Darlene out on the grass, took his jacket to put behind her head, and took out his clean hankie and wet it with a bottle of cold water from the picnic basket.

"Darlene, can you hear me, Dar, just take it easy Sweetie, breathe, that's good another deep breath," as he applied the cold compress to her forehead, till she finally came around.

"Hey are you OK? There's a first aid station just a little farther down this road, I can carry you, I don*"

"RICK, stop, it's OK, I'm OK well I think I am. I must have passed out when I read that number wrong"

"Dar, it wasn't wrong, remember Wayne is a billionaire, he's made a fortune developing half of the valley, he has earned his money, and his record of charitable donations is impressive."

"Rick, I was married to Wayne for 5 months, after dating for 18 months, I never knew how much he was worth, nor did I care. This is too much, I have to give some back to him."

"Darlene, you can't, it's in the terms of your divorce, unless you go through another court proceedings, you're stuck with being rich. Sorry to be the bearer of such terrible news" as he smiles at her. She is so sincere, so open and honest, she just wants to do the right thing and Rick smiles, knowing that fate finally got it right, one of the good people were blessed.

"Why are you smiling Rick, did I do something stupid other than faint in your arms? I mean I'm so sorry, but thank you for being there to catch me"

"No Dar, you didn't do anything stupid, I was just thinking of all of the people in the universe to be blessed with a windfall, I couldn't think of one person that deserves it more than you, now shh, I mean it.

You have so much to give, that you don't even see it, I mean look at me, my daughter loves you and hasn't even met you. Why? Because you concern yourself with making life better for others, it takes a really special person to do that, and you are the real deal"

Darlene is beet red now blushing, from embarrassment from fainting, as well as all of the beautiful words Rick has used to describe her.

"You know Rick, it takes two people to have a friendship like this, I mean my God we've know each other slightly over a week, yet I trust you with my life. That goes against everything we were taught, be reserved, be cautious, men will hurt you, guard your heart, and yes, I did get my heart broken.

Look at the results, we are now able to put plans in place to help so many young girls and those who need our service since they have served us proudly in the Armed Forces. I would take every bit of that hurt all over again if we can pull this off, and with you as my partner, my friend, my very special man, I'm sure we can do it.

Let's look at those plans so we'll be ready when Wayne is, I think he will be all in for this. Rick, in confidence, no one knows this, but his brother died homeless after serving two tours in Vietnam. Wayne is much younger, but remembers his big brother, and how he went away and never came home."

"I'm so sorry, thanks for telling me, but that's a secret that belongs hidden. I think we should dedicate the first building, to him, honoring his service, nothing more said. How does that sound?"

Darlene is in tears now, and takes the two steps to just hug Rick as she sobs,

"You big hearted sensitive man, you have so much compassion for others, I'll be here for you till we find your happiness, regardless of who, or how long it takes, I promise you that, I'll ALWAYS be here for you." She gets out between the tears.

A tear comes to Rick's eye with the word Always, as he chokes back the emotion, and kisses Darlene's head like he would Alexis, and gently rubs her back, and lets her sob, yeah if only. God life is a mess. He loves Kate, Darlene loves Wayne, Kate loves who knows, and Wayne loves Steve, it couldn't be any bigger of an If Only if he had written it in a Tragic Comedy works.

JFK Airport

11:45 AM Same Day Local Time

Kate did a lot of thinking after the visit from the boys and Lanie, she couldn't come up with enough reasons not to use the free flight and hotel to try to get to Rick. It was obvious that he thought of her as a Friend, and like in high school, once banished to the Friend Zone the chances of anything more developing between them diminished by the day.

She was nervous, probably because she had never done anything like this before. She always waited on Rick to make the move and he did, over and over, but this time she knew, it was up to her, or he was out of her life.

As she passed through security, then approached her gate she stopped to get a bottle of water, and something to read at the newsstand. Staring at her, almost like he did in real life there was Rick's latest Heat book proudly displayed, and even though she had two copies at home she purchased a copy, to finish on the flight.

As she checked out to pay, the clerk, went on and on about how hot he was, and she was really going to enjoy the book. Finally, Kate faked being a foreign citizen saying something in French, the girl finally shut up.

Great the last thing she needed was a Castle cheering section, she already felt like he was so much more on this earth than she. I mean millionaire best selling author to lead NYPD Homicide Detective, no comparison. Thoughts of doubt ran through her head again, what does he see in just a cop, he could have almost anyone.

Lanie had called her this morning and reinforced, well chewed her out about all the reasons Richard Castle loved her, and how she had stopped something beautiful from happening. Her words come flooding back, "Kate, he's done everything but put it in a written Sky Writer message and he'd do that if he thought you would understand. That man loves you, even Javi told you twice yesterday he would have kicked your ass to the curb, and you know how much Javi loves you.

Once again, Kate is in first class courtesy of Rick, his gift certificate was valid up to $10,000. Where the hell did, he think she was going to fly, but that was Rick, wanting everyone to have the comforts in life that sometimes Kate felt he somehow thought he didn't deserve.

The Cosmopolitan had arranged a limo and small suite once they validated the certificate and confirmed it was from Rick. She had requested that they keep her arrival quiet, since she was going to surprise him. In reality Attack would be a better word, she was going to corner him and make him hear how much she loved him, and she didn't care where or who was present.

The flight once again passed quickly as she completed the last 6 chapters, she should have picked up on changes in the writing earlier. It seemed to change from very optimistic at the beginning chapters to cautiously optimistic, to the ending was almost sad. Rook had witnessed her dating and falling in love with a new detective in her precinct, so he had volunteered for recall to the Armed Forces, to serve in the Middle East.

When Heat checked, the division Rook was assigned to had the highest rate of casualties of any branch of service. He hadn't killed Rook yet, but it would only take a few paragraphs and the relationship, both fictional and real would be totally dead. Kate thought back and he had mentioned that he might cut the contract for Heat series short, and she pretended to celebrate, even showing a fist pump, when she really never wanted to stop reading his words.

Why did she act like such an Ass? Why did she hurt him at every opportunity? God, would he even talk to her when she got there, or was this trip a waste of time? Inside a mental voice said, "Like you had so many better things to do, you're suspended idiot". No matter what Rick's texts had said, she had plenty to apologize for.

After finishing the book, left on a cliff hanger ending on purpose, she felt less optimistic than she had when she started on this journey. She took out her iPad and started a list of all the times she had been rude, hurtful, and lately actually cruel.

She had issued the blanket apology once she dumped Josh but thinking back the hurt was more on her than anyone or anything. She uttered the harsh words, she put him down, she made fun of some of his ideas, and worse she expected him to be there forever, the longer he stayed the worse she treated him.

Javi had been right, God, he should have told her to stick it up her ass years ago, yet he smiled through it all, even Los Angeles. Yes, she did know that he loved her and how it made him feel talking about Royce. No matter what she did, he had her back, until, well, until now.

The plane touched down at 2:11PM Local Time, 4 minutes early, and once again, with only a carry-on bag to retrieve for luggage she was out of the plane and on her way to, to where? Then she saw the young driver with a sign, the name Kate Heat was displayed, below the Cosmopolitan name banner on top. When someone asked for discretion, this place took it to heart, no wonder it had such high ratings.

"May I carry that for you Mam, we are just down this escalator, and out the door, ETA to your room, 15 minutes. My name is Mike, and I hope you have a pleasant stay with us at the Cosmopolitan."

After a few minutes, Kate is entering the back of a new Escalade, and on her way to the hotel. True to his word, they arrived curbside in 9 minutes,

"Thanks Mike, it looks like you really have your act together, I mean such a system I just called yesterday."

"Yes Mam, you are the friend of Mr. Rook, so please enter the VIP door just to your left, the check-in package should be ready for you, I'll have the bell captain place your bag in your suite, is there anything else we can do to make your stay enjoyable?"

"No, thank you, everything is great, and I appreciate the discretion, means a lot to me,"

"Yes Mam, we have many guests with similar requests, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, at least at our establishment, Enjoy your stay and Good Luck" as Kate slipped him a tip of the denomination she had seen Rick do in previous situations.

"Thank You Mam, and have a great day"

Kate entered the VIP door feeling very much out of place but was immediately made at ease by the staff,

"Good afternoon Ms. Heat, Mike radioed you were in route, we have you setup in a suite on the 47th floor of the Chelsea Tower, I hope that is too your liking."

"I'm sure that will be fine. Just curious but could you tell me how close I am to Mr. Rook, or can you divulge that?"

"Well normally not, but since you are on his guest certificate, we can make an exception, he's on the 52nd floor Penthouse, same tower as you. You would need a room key to his suite to access that floor, I'm sorry."

"Oh no that's completely fine, thank you and please don't mention I am here, I am trying to surprise him"

"Understood, and Welcome to the Cosmopolitan, Enjoy your stay"

Kate made her way to the elevator, found her room, and there in a suite bigger than her apartment in New York on a dining room table was a huge fruit basket with a welcome message from Dan Tanaka, Rick's personal Concierge. As she made her way to the bedroom, fresh cut flowers and another smaller basket of luxury bath oils waited for her"

It was only 2:55 PM, she had plenty of time for a nap, then wake and plan out her approach. God if this were his lifestyle, what the hell was she waiting for, she could get used to accommodations such as this. She slipped on comfortable PJ's and was out within 10 minutes, dreaming of the man just a few floors above her now.

TBC