If Only

by Castlefan6

Authors Note: Thisis my AU version of an alternate ending to Love and Die in LA. Some Angst, some canon but mostly AU. All things are the same till the Gantz ending, Previously notes courtesy of Dust Jackets dot com.

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

Chapter 16

Previously

Well, she had told him if Darlene made him happy to tell her and she would step aside, looks like tomorrow was her chance to say goodbye and bow out gracefully. He was happy, no one knew that better than Kate, and as much as she wanted to hate Darlene, she couldn't. She knew now that coming to Vegas was the right thing to do, she would at least get the closure that she would have missed had she remained in New York.

She arranged her flights back to New York for the last flight out, 11:00 PM Local time, arriving at JFK at 6:05 AM EST the next morning. The time after meeting with Rick would allow her to re-think her life, her goals, and the sacrifices she had made in this quest for justice or was it vengeance for her Mother.

*****************************************************************************/

NYPD 12th Precinct

6:00 AM Next Day

True to form Roy Montgomery arrived at the station precisely at 6:00 AM and started his normal routine, when he spotted the NY Times laying in his guest chair again. Someone on night shift wanted to make him aware of things happening, but didn't want to "get involved"

Just as the last instance the sports section had been moved down, and the Entertainment section placed in it's position. It took less than a second for Roy to recognize that Rick was deep in the throngs of a kiss, and it wasn't with Detective Beckett. He had heard, unofficially of course, that she had flown to Las Vegas to try to make things right with Rick, but apparently things weren't going so well. He decided this would require coffee, and perhaps a booster, depending on how bad the article was.

After making not one, but two cups of coffee, and transferring them into his travel size cup, he returned to his office, but noticed someone in the bullpen, as he got closer it was two someones, Ryan and Esposito. They were never in this early unless they were working over from the previous night.

"What the hell are you two doing here so early? Something going on I should know about Detectives?"

"Sir, no Sir, we just ah I mean we I*"

"What my partner is trying to say sir is we were talking about a case and came up with a possible lead and wanted to jump right on it early this morning" Ryan says with as much conviction as he can muster as Esposito looks on with WTF look.

"You know, I still haven't figured out which of you two are the worse liars, you want to help Beckett, get your coffee and get your asses into my office."

"Yes Sir" as they move swiftly away from the Captain, and towards the break room.

"Do you think he knows anything about Beckett?" Javi asked

"Were you born that stupid or did you take lessons Javi, of course he knows, what he doesn't know is that Officer Riley is putting the copy of the Times on his chair when he sees something not going well for Beckett and Castle."

"Well I pity your ass if he does find out he's been doing it with you paying him off in food you bring in. I love her like a Sister but sometimes I just shake my head and wonder if it wouldn't be better for both to just go their ways and get over each other, all I see is a bunch of pain"

They return to Captain Montgomery's office, who by now has finished the article, including the press release from Paula. Beckett is due back from suspension in 3 days, so the timing couldn't be worse. Roy is sincerely worried he may have to take the final course of action, if she returns like Beckett of old, he'll have no choice.

"I thought I asked you two to go to her as a friend and talk to her, to get her to get some kind of agreement worked out with Castle. I wanted him back here, but more than that I don't want Beckett to come back guns blazing leaving me no choice but to fire her, what happened with your meeting?"

Kevin took the lead and explained how they included Lanie and Kate had first resisted what she called an Intervention, but after some tough love, especially by Javi supported by Lanie and finally him, she came around. She understood the concern, not for her personal life, well they were concerned about that as well, but the largest issue was no one wanted to see the team change dynamics, especially through Kate getting fired for something she could control.

He then explained about the Christmas gift from Rick, and the last text to Lanie was she was on her way to Vegas to apologize and try to make things right, hopefully she wasn't too late. Well apparently,, that hadn't gone quite like she hoped, as they all looked down at the picture of Darlene and Rick in a lip lock and the caption underneath read, "Marriage Pending, ?"

The article went on to embellish the release Paula and Darlene had given with some speculation, how the newest power couple would be residing in Las Vegas as soon as Rick completed some obligations in New York, no word of engagement, just as the press release deemed it Coupling, meaning they were off the market without a promise or vision of marriage, YET.

"Has anyone spoke to Kate since she's been out there, I mean did she even get an opportunity to meet with him?"

Javi responded, "I got a call early this morning from Lanie, apparently, she watched TMZ last night after she pulled a double shift, saw the announcement, and called Kate. It's not good Cap, Lanie said she could barely talk but is flying home tonight leaving there at 11:00 PM Local time, getting in here tomorrow at 6:15 AM. She told Lanie that she didn't want the guys coming, but she needed her, so for now we are left on the sidelines to support however we can."

"Well I knew this was going to happen sooner or later, and Espo, no matter how much you think it's all on Rick, it's not. He took it as long as he could, guess something happened in LA that made him rethink his position, and his chase of Kate. Knowing Rick, as much as he loves New York, Alexis and his Mother, it had to be something really bad for him to walk away,

I don't want to know the details, that's none of my business, what I do want is the message to get to Kate loud and clear, that I am, as she is, being watched just waiting for her to screwup and they are gunning for her. She HAS to be the model cop and leader when she returns, or the brass will fire her. Mayor Weldon is close to Rick, and he's already told Commissioner Boyle, no more fuckups or she's gone, regardless of how good a cop she is."

"Sir, do you think they would really fire Beckett? She has the highest closure rate in*" Kevin asks timidly and is cutoff by Captain Montgomery.

"Ryan, her team including you and Espo and Castle have the highest closure rate in the city, and Yes, after some of her past escapades they have very little tolerance left, and will fire her, perhaps even demote me in rank, not worried about that, but it's a possibility."

Espo stepped up, "Captain what can we do, just tell us, both of them are family, God knows losing Castle is going to hurt us all, but we can't lose Kate too, it just can't happen."

"I agree Espo, get with Lanie and see what all she said and how she really was, maybe we can meet her at the airport tomorrow to let her know that she's got us, and she needs to get through this for the good of the team as well as herself."

"Great Idea Captain, I'm sure she won't be expecting us, and as long as we don't push too hard, I think it will help, maybe we can just have breakfast there and then let her open up to whom ever she chooses if she does," Ryan contemplates

"Check with Lanie and see what she thinks, keep me posted", as he waves his arms to usher the boys out as his phone rings.

Javi takes that assignment and after a quick visit with Lanie they all agree that breakfast with Kate, then let her go would be the best approach, after all, it would be up to her to control her temper so all they could do would be to show support. They arrange to be at the airport at 5:45 AM and wait for her at the gate using authorization from Captain Montgomery to use their Police Identifications.

Darlene's Suite

Cosmopolitan Hotel 6:00 AM Local Time

Darlene is awake, looking over at the man who had just rocked her world not once but several times. His eyes were closed, breathing very steady, so she laid her head on his chest, hearing the steady sound of his heart thrilled her when she recalled one comment in the height of their inaugural voyage to blissful territory, he had told her that his heart beat for her.

This man was so full of love, she knew he loved her, and she was now confident that in time Kate would become a memory to him, just like Tom was to her, the main thing was not to push it, let it happen.

They had not planned on spending the night together last night, but when he walked her to her door, she couldn't wait any longer, so she initiated the love making. It didn't take much to overcome the "Are you sure Dar, I mean I can wait if you aren't ready," as he lips crushed that argument and began a night she would never forget.

As she lay there, she felt an arm raise and pull her closer to him, she lifted her head and looked into those eyes of blue, then kissed him gently saying "Good Morning to my man"

"Good morning to my Lady", as he returned her kiss with one as sweet and long.

Rick/Dar they both started to speak at once, "You go ahead Rick, tell me what's on your mind, and remember you can tell me anything."

"I was just going to ask you if you were sorry, or are you still just as happy as we were last night"

His answer comes in the form of a beautiful blonde gently climbing on him and kissing him with passion he never remembered before, "Answer your question Rick?"

"Sure does, what were you going to ask me Dar?" She smiles and gently nibbles his neck, "the same thing, are you still happy now that the deed has been done, was I what you expected and am I what you want."

Her answer comes with another round, where this time Rick focused solely on her satisfaction and wouldn't give in till, he was sure she had traveled to places no man had taken her before. Then the grand finale was a joint effort and each seeing stars and bright lights at the same time.

She lay in his arms, spent, exhausted and oh so satisfied as he whispered, "Did that answer your question Love? Yes, I am still happy, even happier than I was, you are far more than I ever dreamed or expected, and you are all that I want, God you're beautiful"

She had doubts before they made love to which woman Ricks mind would be loving, would it be her or Kate, her answer came the first time they made love. He whispered to her, my eyes are open because when I make love to you for the first time, and every time, you're going to know it's you, no one else, just you, and he did, God did he ever.

They spent the remainder of the morning getting ready, it took three trips to the shower, to finally get clean enough for Rick to discover his clothes were all in his suite. He threw his clothes on from the night before to make the trip down one flight of stairs, with Darlene holding his hand. He was dressed and groomed and ready for the day, then it dawned on him today was meeting day.

Darlene sensed the change in him immediately, "Rick, what time are you seeing her? Remember why you walked away, and you never cheated on her, this is not cheating on her. I know it makes you sad, but you deserve to be happy, and right now I am just over the moon that it is with me. I'm here for you, and I will be till you no longer want me, or I no longer breathe."

"How do you do that? God, I have to be really careful around you or I'll be in trouble all the time" Rick flashes that genuine smile.

"Well, let me catch you ogling some other woman and yes you'll be in trouble, I know it's early but no matter what we call this, we are a couple. I'm true to you, this I swear, I know others have hurt you, I want to take that away and replace all those bad memories with ones that we are making to keep us both happy."

Rick pulls her into him in a hug, "Pretty special that lady of mine, reads me like one of my books, and makes me feel I can accomplish anything with her."

"Speaking of that we have a meeting with Wayne on the 13th at 10:00 AM to discuss the property and our plans for the projects. I'm really glad we got that work done already, I just need to hold you as long as I can before you go to her. I know it's over but Rick" *

"Darlene, you have nothing to worry about, I promise, but again if you want to come or pick a spot to watch I am fine with that. I owe her one last face to face to clear the air, whatever she wants to talk about, and then for me to let her know that I forgive her and wish her happiness.

The only way we can be happy is to part with the old in a way that is respectful to our values, so Thanks for being understanding, but no worrying. I'm coming home to you, promise." As he kisses her gently.

"I'm sorry and I trust you with my heart, so no I don't need to come, or watch. I'll be waiting here to support you when you get back because this is going to be hurtful to everyone, it's just life, it sucks but nothing you can do to change it"

"I know Dar, and I wish I could end things without any pain, but as you say it's life and hurt is part of it, I have to leave in 40 minutes so can you come here and just hold me till then, I love to feel your arms wrapped around me."

She is in his lap in two steps, arms wrapped around his neck and her head on his shoulder, "Is this OK Rick?"

"No, it's perfect"

TBC

Tough chapters I know next up is the talk then Kate's return to NYPD. I may slow the pace down, it seems the faster I post the more undesirables send hate so not sure if I will keep up this pace or slow it way down.