If Only

by Castlefan6

Authors Note: Thisis my AU version of an alternate ending to Love and Die in LA. Some Angst, some canon but mostly AU. All things are the same till the Gantz ending, Previously notes courtesy of Dust Jackets dot com.

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

Chapter 24

Previously

"Oh Baby, it's OK, I love you and your Dad and I'm doing everything to stay safe for you, I want to come home to you both, every night. Your Dad hasn't asked me yet, but I'm ready to give him my answer when he's ready to ask."

"Kate, it'll be soon, I've heard him practicing his speech a dozen times, he just wanted to give you enough space and time, but like I said, no one's tomorrows are promised, and I would love to call you Mom soon, would that be OK, I mean maybe you don't wa*"

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Castle's Loft

6:30 AM Next Morning

Kate awoke to see the gentle rise and fall of Rick's chest, she propped herself up on one elbow, admiring the diamond ring that is now adorning her left ring finger, and just watched her man sleep. It had been more than she ever dreamed, Rick was kind, gentle, slowly building excitement but God he knew how to make love to a woman.

She had never had a partner that was as concerned about her happiness, her joy, and her climax as much as Rick. In one session, God how many were there she thinks, he drew her anticipation out so long she, Kate Beckett was actually begging him to join. That had never happened before, and as they made love, she realized it was that.

This wasn't sex to relieve the human hunger for gratification, this was two people joining their bodies together in an act of love, now she understood the difference. She gently laid her head on his chest after kissing his cheek ever so softly. His response was to reach for her and hold her tighter, his heartbeat sounded so sweet as she knew she would never be without him again. This was her place, next to him and she would be here till one or both were gone from this earth.

"Someone told me staring is creepy" comes a sleepy voice from Rick

"Well someone was wrong; besides, it's getting caught staring that's creepy. I can't help you never caught me staring at you."

"I did, but I didn't want to risk saying something and you stopping it, so I kept quiet, as hard as that is for you to believe."

He pulls her almost effortlessly with one arm on top of him and kisses her sweetly. As she locked eyes with him, that same jolt of love hit her again, and she smiled.

"What is it, Babe. What's got you smiling so sweet? I mean whatever it is I want to keep doing it" he whispered almost so low she couldn't hear him.

"When I look into your eyes, and then you return the look, and lock on, I get a jolt, almost like a shock from static electricity run through me, and at first it scared the hell out of me. Now I hope that jolt is there the rest of our lives, I know it's you sending your love to me visually."

Rick smiles, "you feel a jolt, really? I thought it was me and I was just imagining it, but they say love is electrifying and one thing is for sure, I do love you Kate, with all my heart."

"Babe, you've proved that over and over and I'm so sorry I was such an idiot tha*"

Rick's lips on her squashes any more words, as he kisses her in a way that wasn't the hot, I have to have you as a few hours ago, rather like I worship you and will take care of you, just trust me type of kiss.

"No more of that, we were both idiots, and enough said. The important thing is that we're here, my little girl asked you to be her Mom before I could ask you to marry me, now what does that say about our family."

A single tear comes to Kate's eye, it just dawned on her, she has a family, a husband, well he will be soon, and a daughter that she loves and loves her. A few months ago, she had a career, a quest to chase the elusive dragon, and a lonely apartment. Today she has a family and will soon be working to solve not only one murder but many as she takes command of the 12th precinct.

"Hey, none of that Babe, nothing to cry about, I mean unless they're happy tears"

"They are Rick, I just realized I have a family, a home, and a career that will let me continue to work on justice, BUT insure I come home to the two people I love more than anything in this world, that is if you're OK with me still working on the force."

There's a long moment of silence, and Kate worried that perhaps she would need to keep her promise and resign, then Rick spoke gently as he held her close,

"I never wanted you to choose between me and your Mom's case, I just needed to know that if you had to you would. You shocked me when you told me you turned the files over to Jordan, and Kate, all I ask is that you keep me working with you should you ever decide to pursue a lead. We're always better together."

This time it's Kate's turn to kiss him deeply and whisper, "I love you Richard Castle, and I have chased the shadow long enough. I want to be your wife, Alexis mother, and if you want, the mother of your future children" as she smiles her evil smile at him.

Rick is wide awake now, pulling her so tight, then looking into her eyes,

"Kate, just to be clear did I hear what I think I heard, you want to be the mother of my future children? Babe nothing on this earth would make me happier, I love kids, and you would be such an awesome mother, look at Alexis, she took you as hers regardless of what I was doing."

"You heard right Rick, I only have one request, I really do want to be married first, the sooner the better so we can start the rest of our lives together, I've wasted so much time we can never get back."

"I understand and agree, How big a wedding would you like, what ever you want is yours just say the word."

"Actually Babe, I would like it small and intimate, Lexi as my Maid of Honor, Dad walking me down the aisle and just our friends for a reception. I always loved the Hamptons would your home be large enough to host the event?"

Rick looks perplexed for a moment, "Kate, this is your first wedding and last, as long as I'm alive, don't you want a little more pizazz than the Hamptons which love is not mine, but OURS. It's plenty big enough I just don't want you to settle on something that you won't be happy with later."

"Mr. Castle, I don't want a big lavish event, I have come to grips that marrying someone famous will push my comfort level for privacy. I always wanted a small wedding where we wouldn't get lost from each other, because it became a job greeting and making sure everyone felt important. This is OUR day, and that's all I want to focus on."

"Kate, whatever you want, but I want you to see our home there first, before you choose. When can you take a few days off, and if you like Alexis can come with us to make it a real family trip."

"Actually, I'm off for the next three days, if we can get a shower, ALONE, I'm sore in places I forgot I had" as she playfully swiped at him, then reached up and kissed him, "We can see if Lexi has plans, and maybe do it today."

Twenty-five minutes later and two strong smacks on Rick's backside when he tried to invade her shower Kate is dressed allowing her hair to air dry as she walks into the kitchen to see her daughter smiling at her.

"Good Morning Mom, hope it was as good down here as it was upstairs," and starts to laugh,

Kate turns beet red and begins to stammer her words,

"Gotcah Mom, Dad had his office and bedroom soundproofed when I was little, he would listen to the monitor and he didn't want any noise to block him from hearing my cries."

"Ohhhh You're so gonna pay for that, Lexi, just wait" as she starts to laugh, and Alexis comes to hug her laughing. Kate didn't notice at first but there was a cup that said Mom on it with that Alexis had made her coffee, just the way she loved it, just like her Dad would do.

When Alexis brought it from behind her back, Kate read the words, and begin to tear up,

"Alexis, when did you have time to find a mug, I mean, Thank You this is the most precious gift," as she pulled her close.

"I've had it since you stayed here Mom, I was hoping that you and Dad would see what the entire world could see, and I could give it to you then. I just held on to it, and the hopes that someday you both would wake up."

Rick had started out of the bedroom, but stopped when he heard Alexis and Kate kidding, when Alexis presented her with her favorite coffee in a Mom mug, Rick had to wipe a tear away before entering the room.

"Good Morning Pumpkin, Good Morning Again, Mrs. Castle to be," his smile would have lit up half of New York. "Did everyone sleep well, and pumpkin I heard that trick you pulled on Kate, so she owes you one" as the whole family laughs.

"Alexis could I ask you a question Sweetie, I mean you can say no if you don't want to, but I wanted to ask you first. Your Dad and I were talking this morning, and I think I would like to have the wedding at the Hamptons House, since I've only seen pictures your Dad wants to take me there. If you have flexible plans, we'd love to spend a long weekend, just family. If you have plans, we understand"

"Mom I'm in, I was just going to the library and shopping with Lindsey, but she'll understand, but I thought you wanted to ask me something"

"Well, I'm in need of a Maid of Honor, and nothing would please me more than to have my Daughter standing at the altar with me as her Dad and I become one."

Alexis has a look of terror, then shock, then pure joy, "You really mean it, you aren't pranking me, this isn't getting me back for earlier is it, because if you're serious, I would love to be with the two people I love more than anything in the world on their special day, so Yes, and Mom, I love you" as she teared up and fell into Kate's arms.

"No Pranks kiddo, so it's set, I have my Maid of Honor who will help me plan out the rest, Thank You Lexi, this makes the wedding even more special to me," as she hugs the young girl who has become like her own in such a short time.

Hamptons Beach House

4 Hours Later

Kate had been to the Hamptons before, with her parents, and a few other occasions but never to this part, the Gulf side of the Bay. She was amazed at how beautiful the homes were, and how big they seemed from the road. She had held Rick's hand all the way up, never letting go, even when they stopped to get Coffee and refreshments, her arm snaked around his back and his hers.

Finally, Rick slowed down, and begin to turn into a long drive with gates about 200 feet ahead. Rick stopped and said,

"Well pumpkin, do you want to tell Kate the gate code, it might be hard for her to remember", and smiles.

"Dad, you are such a tease, it's four, one, three, one, nine, and has been since you changed it when Kate stayed with us."

Kate sits almost in awe, "Rick, that's my badge number, why, I mean we hadn't"

"I know but every time I came here, I punched in the gate code and you were with me, and there's been no women here since we met. I'll be honest and say before then yes I was a CAD"

"You were an idiot Dad, let's face it, I mean I'm glad you found Mom, before you wound up like Grams, all the gold diggers you were with."

"Pumpkin, you do know that many of those were arranged just for the press, and they walked in the front door, and when the press left, they left via the back courtesy of Gina and Paula,"

"Hey, it doesn't matter anymore, I'll be the only woman other than you Lexi spending time here from now on, Right Babe?"

"Absolutely and since this will be half yours soon, you can do anything you wish to change it EXCEPT for my office, the only room I call squatters rights to", as he laughs, so happy that Kate chose to defuse the past, much better than he could have.

Kate is totally speechless as she views the magnificent home, the view, he was right the view from his patio, there was none better. As they walk from the 3-car attached garage, Kate notices an Explorer about 3 years old, a 1956 Thunderbird obviously being restored but a lot of work into bringing it back to life had been completed.

She is two steps out of the garage then whirls around and goes back, there it is a Harley Davidson Soft Tail identical to hers, sitting there, with a helmet resting on it's handlebars.

"Babe, I didn't know you rode, you never said a word", then she thought every time he would bring up something similar to Josh, she would shut him down. "Oh Babe, I'm so sorry, I never gave you the chance to tell me anything," a tear comes to her eye.

"Hey, no more of that, like you said the past is gone, we are starting new, no holding on to things that would only hurt you or me. I really did forgive you Kate when we talked in Vegas, I wasn't lying so forgive yourself, please," as he wipes away her tears.

Kate observed during the tour of the home, each room revealing more and more just how sensitive Rick really was. He had one room almost as a shrine to Alexis with pictures on the walls ascending from a tiny little redhead reaching up to hold on to his pinky finger, to her class pictures he must have just added. Placed strategically throughout the room were toys that had been meaningful to her, him or both including the infamous Monkey Bunkey.

Alexis hugged Kate around the waist, "He is very sensitive Mom, he tries not to show it, but he is. I never knew how lucky I was to have him as a Dad until I went to visit my Mother the first time. I was supposed to stay two weeks but the second day she never came home from a date. I called Dad, and he had his security team fly out and fly me back home, I haven't been back since."

"Oh, Lexi I'm so sorry baby, I can't understand how anyone could do that,"

"Yeah, Grams told me you were more of a Mom to me that Meredith ever was,"

"Well, I'm your Mom now and no one is going to hurt you, your Dad or your Grandpa Jim ever again."

The rest of the day was spent visiting shops, restaurants, and just letting Kate get a feel for her new home in the Hampton. Tomorrow she and Alexis were having a Mom Daughter breakfast, just the two of them, then they were going to start planning the events and evaluating the location to insure it would accommodate the wedding.

After dinner that Rick had brought in, he built a fire in the fire pit on the beach. The three sat on a blanket, the ladies on each side of him, and just enjoyed the company. Alexis excused herself after a short while, and whispered in Kate's ear,

"These rooms haven't been sound proofed, yet," then giggled kissed Kate on the cheek, turned to her Dad hugged him and kissed him and said, Good Night Dad, Mom, don't stay out too long and catch cold"

It was magical, how two people could feel the love each other had for the other, without anything more than hugs, gentle kisses and just looking into each other's eyes.

"Rick, this is the place, this is where I want to marry you, make love to you, make babies with you and live our lives till we get too old to walk the path from the house here. I love you and I can't wait to be your wife"

A good old fashioned make out session ended when they both began to feel the chill; the once roaring fire was down to embers as Rick picked Kate up Wedding Style and carried her to the house. Her arms wrapped tightly around his neck, her head on his shoulder, and her heart in his hand, this was what all the love songs meant, she had found her one and done.

A/N Alexis in Canon was my least favorite character, BUT the writers missed a huge opportunity to blend the three into a family by not following up on the time Alexis interned for Kate. There were so many opportunities to bring two or three of them together, yet they chose an apprenticeship with Lanie and the season that doesn't exist to me as the head of Rick's PI Firm working with a Tok, they never connected as a family at least in my opinion.

TBC