Chapter 28 - The Ravell'd Sleeve of Care

Elizabeth tried her best to divide her time between David and Han, but it was impossible. David was too sick to allow her to spend much time away from him, and Han didn't seem to be as sick as Tom had been, or as David now was. Han was getting no worse; but he seemed to be in a stupor and was mostly unresponsive.

Elizabeth was exhausted. She hadn't been getting much sleep while she'd been nursing Tom and now she was looking after both David and Han. She was so tired that she was finding it increasingly hard to think about anything. She was losing track of time; not only was she forgetting to take care of herself, but there had been a few times when she had forgotten to feed and check on Han.

David was worrying her now; his condition had deteriorated very quickly. Most of her time was spent by his bedside; he was far worse than even Tom had been. His fever was much higher than the low-grade fever they had been told to expect and he constantly fought for breath. She sat by his bed day and night, determined that this time she would not be asleep when he needed her. Her head felt foggy and she started to feel almost drunk from lack of sleep.

Elizabeth sat beside his bed holding his hand, silent tears falling from her eyes. She wasn't naturally demonstrative but she loved him more than anyone else in her life. As great as her obsession with Tom had been, her love for David was deep and constant, her only anchor. She had never loved anyone before she met David and now she was so close to losing him. What would she do then?

Her mind worked as she watched her dying husband. She'd have to go back home, she couldn't stay here. She couldn't run the farm by herself, all alone out here in Kansas. She'd heard of some women that had done such things, but she wasn't that type. She would go have to go back to Ohio and live with her parents again; the only problem would be Han.

Han!

She realized with a start that she had once again forgotten to check on him; guiltily she ran back through to the other room.

It was cold and dark in the parlor. She'd forgotten to keep the stove alight and she could see him shivering under his blankets.

She tried to rekindle the fire. It seemed to take a long time for the wood to catch.

He lay there, only vaguely aware of her presence. She didn't know why he was sleeping so heavily. His sickness had passed, so why wasn't he awake and alert? She supposed it was possible that it was taking a greater toll on him because of his weight and size. It was amazing that he had survived at all; strange, too, that Tom, for all his health and strength, was dead, when this child, so small and thin, was holding on to life so tenaciously.

Han was the first one to get sick - after Peggy herself - and yet here he was, still surviving, against all the odds.

She began to heat some broth for him. Thoughts swirled in her sluggish brain.

Tom was dead. Beautiful, strong Tom. Her son, the boy she had chosen and loved with all her heart and soul. Dead.

Doctor Masterson had told her that Adam was dead. Her nephew. How would she ever face the Currys again, knowing that the boy she had adopted had been the cause of Adam's death? Would they understand that Han was a child and couldn't be held responsible?

And the others. The Wilsons, the Browns, the Evans, the Monroes, and who knew who else might still be affected? How could she face any of those families again?

Her husband would die. She would lose David, the only man she had ever loved. She would lose her friend, the only person that ever seemed to understand her, and she would be left with Han.

Just the two of them.

It would never work. Her parents hated Han, they would never accept him. And if they wouldn't accept him, then she couldn't go back home with him. Which left her… where?

She knew she couldn't survive on her own, much less with the added burden of a child. She didn't even have any money, it was all tied up in the farm - a farm that would be very hard to sell in the current political climate.

The realization suddenly flooded over her; she had to go back to her parents - and Han could not go with her.

Would Maggie take him? They did seem to enjoy having him around… but he had been the reason for their son's death. They surely wouldn't want the boy now.

So... who would take him? Where could he go?

There was no-one who would take him. The boy had inadvertently caused the deaths of half a dozen people. And most of the townspeople hadn't approved of him to begin with.

He would have to go back to the orphanage.

He hadn't said anything about being unhappy there; they hadn't ill-treated him. And perhaps he would be lucky again and find another new family, people who could care for him better than she could. He would forget them, in time, and perhaps he could be happy again.

Tears started to run down her face. She didn't even wipe them away.

She had lost Tom, she was going to lose David and she would have to send the one remaining member of her small family away.

In the months that he had been there, she had been Han's mother and taken care of him. She may not have experienced the depth of affection that she had felt for Tom, but she did love this boy. She hoped he knew how much.

She picked up the mug of broth and carried it over to him.

The movement roused him and he opened his eyes into slits. He smiled slightly and his lips moved, but his mouth was too dry for speech.

She lifted him up and supported him as she put the drink to his lips. He began to drink eagerly, and she realized with a start that she hadn't given him anything to eat or drink since early that morning.

Tears began to run down her cheeks. He was a child in her care and she had failed him. Not only would she have to send him back to the orphanage, but she was neglecting him now. He could still die, even now, from her negligence and forgetfulness.

She held him tightly and he pressed against her, finding comfort in the contact. She sobbed until she thought her heart would break.

When Doctor Masterson pulled his wagon into the yard the next day, he was expecting to collect David's body. The last time he had spoken to her, Elizabeth told him that her husband was worse.

Surprisingly, it seemed as though the boy was going to survive. From what she'd described, Masterson thought the boy's size and frailty were causing him to remain insensible for so long. That the boy had survived when so many stronger children were dead seemed nothing short of incredible. The devil looks after his own, he thought.

Elizabeth came out when she heard the wagon. Her eyes were very red and he assumed she'd been crying. "Hello, Doctor."

"Good morning, Mrs. Heyes." He could think of only one reason why she would have been crying so much. "Is Mr. Heyes…"

"No!" She gave a small sob. "Not yet. Doctor, would you come and look at him? And Han? Please?"

"Mrs. Heyes, your house is still under quarantine."

"Please, doctor. I'm begging you. I… I need to know whether they'll be alright."

Masterson considered. This was the first house to have the disease and surely, anyone inside would be past the infectious stage by now. He decided he could risk it; he wouldn't go near David and he could always minimize his contact with the boy if he felt there was still danger.

"Very well. But I will go no further than the sick room door."

She nodded gratefully and led the way.

David Heyes looked very bad. He wondered that the man was still alive, but Masterson knew that his patient couldn't hold on for much longer.

Elizabeth Heyes' voice broke into his silent reflections. "He's going to die, isn't he?"

"Yes, Mrs. Heyes. I would say sometime in the next few days." In truth, he thought the man would be lucky to last the day.

"Are you sure? Is there no hope?"

"No, Mrs. Heyes. I'm very sure."

She made a small sound in the back of her throat. "Would you look at Han?"

"Certainly." He followed her back out into the parlor. Han was still only semi-conscious, but he opened half-lidded eyes and started to fuss when the doctor examined him.

"He's clear of the diphtheria, that's for certain, and he doesn't have a fever. I think his body is simply exhausted. He just needs to regain his strength. Keep him warm, give him plenty of liquids and let him sleep. I imagine he'll be better soon enough."

She swallowed a sob and turned away from him. "I can't take care of him anymore." There, she'd said it.

"What?"

"I can't look after them both, I keep forgetting to feed him and give him something to drink; I'm so tired! I forget to keep up the stove and I come in to find him shivering and hungry! I don't know what I'm doing most of the time…"

She sank into a chair and gave the doctor a helpless look. She had to talk to someone. "I want to be with David until the… the end. Then I'll have to go back home. I don't know what else I can do. I can't take Han with me. My parents, they won't accept him, they don't like him. I… I... don't know how I can support us both if I don't go home. The orphanage, they said we could return him if things didn't work out. If David doesn't recover, I'll have to send him back to them. I don't know what to do!"

The doctor looked at her with sympathy. She was an attractive woman and he would be very happy to be her knight in shining armor. He would be doing the whole community a service by ridding everyone of this troublesome, sinful child. "I can help you. I can arrange for transport back to the orphanage for him."

She jumped up in alarm. "No! Not yet. Not until… not before David's… gone. But can you take him away and look after him until then? Today. Now. I'm worried that I'm making him worse, that he won't recover because I keep forgetting things! Perhaps he's like this because he's not getting enough to eat and drink!"

The doctor said nothing. It was very likely.

"I'll pay you, whatever you want. I need to know he'll be taken care of and I can't risk being away from David."

Masterson thought for a moment. The house was still under quarantine, but the boy was obviously clear of the illness. Although he would never have admitted it to anyone, he wasn't completely sure how quarantine procedures worked. He had never received formal training and it was his first time with an illness of this type. He was mostly guessing and trying to remember things he had read in medical journals. He thought that the quarantine period was three weeks, but surely, since the boy had been infected and recovered, he must be safe?

He had to admit as well, that there was a degree of self-interest. Mrs. Heyes was a fine woman of good breeding. When David Heyes died, Masterson was sure he could convince her to stay in town and he would be very happy to start calling on the widow. But he would want her unencumbered; he did not want to be stepfather to an illegitimate orphan brat.

The decision made, the doctor nodded. "Of course, Mrs. Heyes. I'll take the boy to my office and take care of him there. And as soon as he's fit to travel, I'll make arrangements to send him back to the orphanage."

She still looked worried. "No! Don't send him back yet! Promise me you won't make any arrangements until we're absolutely sure."

"Sure of what, Mrs. Heyes?"

"Sure about David. And if I have to send him away, I want to explain everything to Han, say goodbye properly."

Masterson sighed. He supposed he had to make allowances for female irrationality. "Mrs. Heyes, there is no doubt about your husband and it would only upset the child to have to see you again. But don't worry yourself; you can be sure that I will only act in your best interests!"

She nodded, believing that to be the promise she had wanted. And besides, she told herself, Han may not have been as sick as the others, but he would obviously be too weak to travel for some time. By then, she would know, one way or another.

Doctor Masterson was pleased. Elizabeth Heyes was already starting to trust him as someone who could take care of her. And of course, there was no need to hold on to the boy any longer than he had to. David Heyes would certainly die within the next couple of days. All he had to do was wait a little longer before his next visit, so Mrs. Heyes wouldn't have a chance to change her mind before he could rid them all of the child. He felt sure he could make her see reason when he explained it to her later.

Elizabeth walked over to Han and felt the tears return to her eyes; but this time she wiped them away. At least now he would receive the attention he needed to recover and who knew? Despite the doctor's words, there was still a chance that David could turn a corner and recover. Then they could get him back again.

"Thank you, Doctor. I'll get his things together. Will you watch over David for a moment?"

"Of course, Mrs. Heyes. Just let me give the boy a little laudanum to help with the journey."

"Do you need to, when he's like that?"

"It will do no harm to the boy and may help him. If he came to on the journey, it would be very uncomfortable for him." He pulled out a bottle and poured a measure into a cup. Lifting the boy's head, Masterson poured the liquid into the child's mouth.

Han looked bleary as his head came up, and when he saw Elizabeth, he murmured, "Ma?"

She tried to smile at him, her face making an odd grimace as she tried not to cry. Han's eyes had already started to close again as he lay back down.

Elizabeth's heart lurched and she turned away. She packed a small bag with some of his clothes and a couple of the books he'd accumulated while he'd been there.

Finally, she turned to look at the sleeping boy. She bent down and brushed the hair from his face. Placing a kiss on his forehead, she spoke to his sleeping form, "Han, I'm so sorry I have to do this. I hope you know that I love you very much. Very much!"

He didn't stir; the laudanum had already taken effect.

She began to cry again and bit the inside of her cheek to stop her sobs. She forced herself to move away. She couldn't falter, not now. She would stay by David's side until he recovered and they could get their son back, or until the end, when she would return to her old life, where there was no place for this child.

"Doctor Masterson."

The doctor came back out.

"I've packed some of his things, his bag is next to the bed. Do you mind if I don't see you out?" She couldn't watch him take her son away from her.

"Of course not, Mrs. Heyes." He went to take her hand and recalled himself. They were still under quarantine, after all, and it would be prudent not to take too many chances. She was, after all, still nursing her husband. "I'm very sorry."

"Thank you, doctor."

She looked at Han for a long moment. "Would you tell him… tell him…" She couldn't think of what she could say. "Tell him what happened and that I'm sorry. Tell him I'll come and see him soon."

She couldn't ask this man to tell Han that his mother loved him. Surely Han would know that already?

The doctor nodded.

She gave one last glance to the boy on the sofa, and then turned and walked back to the bedroom to look after her husband.

Doctor Masterson lifted the boy from where he lay and, wrapping him in one of the blankets, carried him out to the wagon.