Chapter 30 - Valparaiso
When Hannibal woke up next, he was in a bed in the hospital wing. It was dark, the only light coming from a candle burning at a desk at the front of the room, where a woman sat knitting.
He was glad that he wouldn't have to face any of the people that he'd hurt. His heart twisted when he thought of David, the father he had loved so much. He still didn't understand how he had been responsible for David's death, as well as Tom's and Adam's and so many others. He wished with all his heart that they'd never met him.
Han didn't tell the nurses in the hospital wing about his recent illness; for one thing, he was too ashamed, and for another, he'd long ago learned that it wasn't a good idea to appear too weak.
When they asked why he'd collapsed, he said he was tired and hungry after the journey. They gave him some food and released him into the orphanage.
His suitcase was gone - no-one seemed to know anything about it - and his new clothes and boots were taken from him. He knew they would be sold. He was dressed in the same clothes as the other children and given a pair of old, soft-soled shoes for his feet. It would do no good to give the children sturdy boots; these weren't regular children, they were wayward, disobedient and irredeemable. They were here for correction, they didn't need to be running anywhere.
They wanted to make sure the children had no opportunities for bad behavior. After making their beds, the children would be marched to breakfast. Then they would be taken for three hours of schooling before lunch. After lunch, the children would be set to work 'so they could develop life skills'.
In truth, it was free labor for the orphanage.
They set him to work making shoes. Although he was still weak after his recent illness, he could do the work - it was just sitting and sewing. He and the other children would sit in a line, pushing flimsy needles through tough leather until their fingers bled. Because he was so tired, his work was slow and often messy, and the supervisor frequently struck him for his inattention and laziness.
After work, they would go to the dining hall for supper and then they had an hour to themselves before bed. They could even go outside into the yard if they wanted to.
Han liked to go outside whenever he could, but he hated the yard. It was the way he imagined a prison yard would be, just a square of dirt with nothing growing in it. He was too tired to run around; instead, he would go over to a spot at the fence where he could look out and remember the time he spent with Jed.
Sometimes, he would close his eyes and try to imagine they were lying by the edge of the stream, or sitting in the branches of the apple tree. Thinking of Jed never hurt the way it did when he thought of the others. He felt sure that even after everything that had happened, Jed would still be his friend. Even though Han had been responsible for the death of his brother, Jed would know that Han had never meant to hurt anyone.
He wondered if Maggie and Caleb hated him now. They must. David was Maggie's brother and they'd lost their oldest son. Perhaps Grandpa Curry might forgive him, perhaps he, too, would understand that Han had never meant to do this terrible thing.
Han tried not to think of David. Thinking of David hurt too much, but at night he couldn't help but remember him and he would cry silently into his pillow.
He thought about Elizabeth sometimes, and how much she had loved David and Tom. He didn't blame her for sending him away. He knew that she would never forgive him; how could she?
She, more than anyone else, must hate him. He knew that she had tried to love him, in her way. It was just that she had been right, all along.
He was trouble.
The children in this home for waywards were meaner and rougher than the children in his old orphanage. It was harder here for a child trying to survive on their own. After the recent troubles, there were plenty of orphan children; but there were fewer opportunities in this sparsely populated territory to find - or steal - food. Here, there weren't twenty wagons a day dropping apples and potatoes into the street.
The older kids would try and steal food from the smaller kids, and Han couldn't stop them. He couldn't fight them, he was still too weak. At first, he tried to divert their attention and talk them out of taking his food, but he couldn't seem to do it. When it didn't work, he decided the only solution was to steal extra rations.
By the end of the first week, he was breaking into the kitchen at night to steal food. The first couple of times, he was successful. They'd noticed the missing food, but hadn't suspected him - he was so slow and clumsy. Somehow, he managed to creep in and out without being caught, despite all of that.
Unfortunately, on the third try, his luck deserted him. His exhaustion finally caught up with him and made him clumsy, and he knocked over a bowl. It crashed loudly to the floor, waking the night watchman, who was upon him before he had a chance to make his escape.
As a firm hand gripped his shoulder, Han was beaten with a cane and then locked into one of the closets.
Han sat shivering in the dark. He had used a small knife to break into the kitchen and had dropped it in the confusion. Without it, he couldn't pick the lock to get out. Feeling very sorry for himself, he curled up on the floor and tried to sleep. He couldn't imagine feeling any lower.
He had no idea how much worse things could get.