Chapter 42 - Home for the Holidays

The recent loss of their children, the sparsity of supplies in the shops and the warm, windy weather that blew dust everywhere, made the Christmas that followed one of the worst the town had ever endured. The wind would gust around the houses at night, howling a desperate sound that seemed to echo in the hearts of the people.

Maggie and Caleb found it hard to think about Christmas without their first-born child. Every time Maggie started to prepare, she thought of how often she had done those things for Adam. Their grief for their child seemed to be increasing as Christmas loomed closer. They were glad when David and Elizabeth invited them to spend the day with them.

The Heyes family decided not to attend the Christmas Eve church service. They knew that Maggie and Caleb wouldn't be the only ones thinking about their lost child, and they knew that Han would be a reminder of everything that had happened, especially since he couldn't seem to conceal his joy.

It was the happiest Christmas Han could ever remember.

For the first time ever, he would spend Christmas with a real family - his family. He had a home and parents, an aunt and uncle, and a cousin that was his best friend. Even his awkwardness with Elizabeth seemed to diminish in his excitement.

Although there hadn't been time for the usual Christmas preparations - there would be no rich fruit cake or Christmas pudding this year - Elizabeth had been cooking non-stop. Although it wouldn't be a traditional Christmas, she was determined that it would be as special as she could make it.

She had canned some mincemeat in September and now she used it to make lots of little mince pies sprinkled with sugar. Han's mouth watered as he smelled freshly cooked gingerbread and saw the large apple cake cooling on a rack.

He lay in bed on Christmas eve and thought about all the wonderful treats in the pantry. He couldn't help himself; getting up, he opened the pantry door and gazed inside. He could smell ginger and cinnamon, and he saw rows of mince pies and cookies. He paused for a moment as his hand reached for a mince pie. Elizabeth had said they were for Christmas Day and Han was trying to be good.

His fingers settled on the sugary top of one of the small pies. Surely it wouldn't be so bad, if he just tried one? He felt sure that she wouldn't notice if he just took one. His eyes closed as he savored the sugary sweetness of the mincemeat. He'd never tasted anything like it before in his life; it was delicious. He spied the cookies piled high on a plate. There were so many, Elizabeth had been sure to make enough for everybody to have plenty. Certainly, nobody would notice if one or two of those were missing…

He sat on the floor of the pantry, eating each treat slowly and savoring every bite. He wasn't used to eating so many sugary treats, but they were so wonderful… He decided they wouldn't notice if he took just one more pie.

He yawned as he ate it, leaning back against something soft and comfortable. Within minutes, he was asleep.

Elizabeth woke early the next day. She had a lot to do if she was going to feed so many. She quickly washed and dressed and hurried into the kitchen, tying her apron around her. She froze as she entered the room, her eyes wide. She had to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing as she ran back to the bedroom and shook David awake.

He awoke with a start. "W..what? Is something wrong?"

"No. Just something you should see."

Her eyes were sparkling and she was smiling. David got up, curious, and threw on a robe.

Like Elizabeth, he halted at the sight that greeted him in the kitchen. The pantry door was wide open and Han was fast asleep inside, lying against a bag of flour. He had crumbs and sugar on his lips and was clutching the remains of a mince pie. He was smiling in his sleep.

David grinned, delighted at the contented picture before him. "Should we wake him?" he whispered.

Elizabeth replied in an equally low tone. "I wish we could leave him there, he looks so happy. But I need to start working if I'm going to have dinner ready on time."

David nodded. "I'll see if I can carry him back to his room."

Hearing his footsteps, Han woke up, looking around him in sleepy confusion. When he realized where he was and what he had been doing, his thoughts flashed back to the last time he was caught stealing food. He scooted back against the pantry wall, dropping the remains of the mince pie.

David's face darkened as he saw his reaction and he guessed that Han's mind was back in Valparaiso. He reached to take his son in his arms, but Han, still not fully awake, shied away from his touch.

Elizabeth saw what was happening and realized how important it was to act as though nothing had happened. Keeping her voice light, she said, "Han, would you mind bringing me that bowl of potatoes? They're on the shelf right next to you."

Han blinked at the normality of the request. David moved away as Han instinctively stood up and picked up the bowl with shaking hands.

Elizabeth smiled as he handed her the bowl of potatoes. "Thank you, Han. Perhaps you and your father could help me by peeling them for me?"

Han nodded, saying nothing.

"Good!" She gently lifted his chin and saw a momentary flash of fear. With the rag in her hand, she bent down and wiped some of the sugar from his mouth. "You may want to clean yourself up a bit first." She made sure he could see her smile, "Were they good?"

Han nodded again, still wary.

"Good!" She turned back to David, "Now out of my kitchen, both of you, and don't come back until you're washed and dressed!"

David could see that her straightforward manner was working better than his sympathy would have done, and he flashed her a look of gratitude. With a sudden moment of inspiration, he picked up two more cookies and threw one to Han, shouting, "Han, catch!"

Han caught it before he knew what he was doing, but before he could react he saw that Elizabeth was laughing.

"David Heyes, you get out of my kitchen before I decide I'm too busy to make you boys any breakfast!"

David saw Han begin to relax, and he winked at him as he took a bite of his cookie. "Come on, Han, we know when we're not wanted."

He held out his hand to his son and, as Han reached for it, David added, "Just a hint, son, but cookies don't improve the longer you hold them!"

He took another bite of his and Han, with a quick glance at Elizabeth, took a bite of his and grinned.

David and Han finished their chores around the farm in record time and then helped Elizabeth get everything ready for their guests. Han was almost trembling with excitement, and David and Elizabeth exchanged a happy glance.

As Han watched Elizabeth mix up the ingredients for a cake, David realized that they needed to talk.

"Han?"

Han's eyes barely moved. "Yes, Pa?"

"Han… it's our first Christmas together and you know that we're all very, very happy?"

Now Han turned to look at him, worried. "Yesss…"

David sat down beside him and pulled the boy onto his knee. "This will be the Currys first Christmas without Adam and they're going to be very sad. Even Jed's going to be sad."

Han couldn't quite see why. Jed didn't need Adam, he had Han now.

Seeing the look on Han's face, he explained, "Think of the way you felt when you thought you'd lost us. That's how they're all going to feel. Maggie and Caleb are going to miss Adam very much, and even though you and Jed are friends, Adam was his brother. We need to be considerate." He saw Han's confused look, "That means, we need to think about how they're feeling and be respectful of it. So even though we're happier than we've ever been," he ruffled the boy's hair and Han grinned, "let's try not to show it too much, okay?"

"Okay, Pa."

Despite his promise to David, Han found it almost impossible to hide his excitement. He'd hardly greeted Jed before he grabbed his hand and pulled him into the kitchen to witness the preparations.

Elizabeth was better at hiding it, but she was almost as excited as Han. This was her first opportunity to have a family Christmas of her own - previously, they had always been guests at her sister-in-law's table. She knew that she was going overboard with her preparations - she'd made enough food to feed a small army - but she couldn't seem to help herself. For this season, at least, Han seemed to have forgotten his distrust of her in his wonder. Now he and Jed sat watching her, their eyes as round as saucers as they watched the preparations.

As Elizabeth pulled out a pan of potatoes, Jed asked, "What are those?"

Han didn't move his eyes from the pan. "Roast potatoes," he said knowledgeably. He'd already asked a hundred questions. "They're covered in goose fat - they've been in the oven for ages."

Elizabeth smiled. "My mother used to make them. They were always my favorite."

Jed leaned forward. "What are you makin' now?"

"Yorkshire pudding. My grandmother used to call it 'dripping pudding."

The meal was a success. Elizabeth was beaming with happiness and David couldn't conceal his delight. It was their first Christmas as a family; Elizabeth's first attempt at a Christmas dinner. Everyone ate until they could eat no more, even little Jed was full. Han had eaten more food than he could ever have thought possible and was feeling incredibly sleepy.

They left the table to open the gifts, the children almost bursting with excitement.

Han sat back and watched as the other children opened their presents. He already had everything he had ever wanted, he couldn't imagine needing anything else.

Jed was delighted with a wooden gun carved by his father and a holster that his mother had made. All of the children were given bags of candy that Maggie and Elizabeth had made together. It looked delicious, but Han couldn't imagine eating another bite.

He was sitting next to Jed on the floor looking at the new toy gun when he heard David call his name. When he looked up, David was holding out a package to him.

Han took it from him and stroked the paper in wonder.

David sat on the floor beside him. "Aren't you going to open it?"

Slowly and carefully, Han opened the package. His breath caught in his throat as he touched the soft corduroy he recognized from the Mercantile. He pulled it out and held it up.

Elizabeth joined the rest of her family on the floor. "Are you going to try it on?"

He slipped the jacket over his shoulders and stroked the fabric lovingly. It was a perfect fit. "It's beautiful."

Elizabeth brushed the shoulders of the jacket and straightened the collar.

Han wanted to say so much, but for once, he didn't have the words. "Thank you." He tried to put everything he was feeling into that 'thank you' and he thought Elizabeth understood.

"You're welcome. Merry Christmas, Han."

Han yawned as he leaned back against his father's legs, hugging the jacket around him. The large dinner and the warmth of the jacket worked their magic, and he was asleep within minutes.

Maggie stood up and made a signal to the children. "Well, I think it's time we were going. Are you ready, Caleb?"

He nodded and stood up. They would usually have stayed for longer, but as hard as they tried to conceal it, the look of unbridled happiness on the faces of the Heyes family was hard to witness, after their own loss. Caleb and Maggie didn't begrudge them their happiness, but it only magnified their own sorrow when they thought of their lost child.

Even Jed seemed to understand, standing up to leave without complaint. "Will you tell Han I said 'bye?"

Elizabeth surprised them all once again, by leaning down and giving Jed a hug as she said, "Of course we will."

The Currys left quietly and David and Elizabeth Heyes held hands as they watched their boy - their son - pull his new jacket tighter around him as he slept.

They had never had such a happy Christmas.