Chapter four

Donna opened her front door and then stepped back in surprise. She then smiled and greeted her two guests.

"Vinnie!" She hugged him. "Hey how are you doing?" She hugged Freddie. "Oh Freddie! Nice to see you!" She stood back and placed a hand on her hip. "You guys! This is a nice surprise!" She smirked a little. "You're here because of Epstein, aren't you?"

"Yeah how'd you know?" Vinnie asked

"Oh, just, call if a hunch. And there's the fact that he's been hanging on Jackie since he got here."

"Yeah. Hey listen, Donna," Freddie said "We came to bring him back home. See, he tends to get himself into trouble with chicks. "

She nodded. "Say no more. I can bring you to him. But, hey, didn't Horshack come with you?"

"No, no, he's back home." Vinnie said. "We needed someone short to take care of things."

"Oh really. Huh. What exactly is he doing while you guys are gone?"

Earlier that day…

Horshack gave it his all while attempting to dribble a basketball while entering the classroom. His attempt, however, was sad at best. The ball got away, causing him to chase after it. He fumbled with it a bit before managing to bring it to a desk. This was a desk where Freddie would often sit. He sat on top of the desk and placed the ball in his lap. As he sat, although awkwardly, he tried to appear much cooler than what he was. That was when he removed his jacket to reveal a basketball jersey sporting the school colors, and one much bigger than what he should have worn.

The entire time that this bizarre occurrence took place, Gabe stood at his desk. He watched his student with a mixture of emotions and corresponding expressions ranging from complete bewilderment, to uncertainty of whether or not he was actually dreaming. His eyes widened with confusion for a few seconds, then he shook his head in an attempt to get rid of the image.

"Arnold." He waved the student over to him.

Horshack stood with the ball in his hand. He attempted to walk with a slick stride over to the teacher's desk. His next attempt was to spin the ball on his finger, only to have the ball fall pathetically to the floor. Acting as though nothing happened, Horshack then picked up the ball.

"Arnold could you kindly tell me what is going on?"

Horshack stood as tall as he could. He cleared his throat before speaking in a deeper voice. "Hi there."

"Yes, hi there. Freddie Junior is it?"

"Yeah. Yeah that's me. I'm Freddie Boom Boom Washington." He replied, doing his best imitation of Freddie's voice and mannerisms.

"You're Boom Boom?" Gabe asked, trying not to laugh.

"That's right Mr. Kot-tare."

"I didn't realize today was Halloween. Ok, uh, Freddie. Where's your homework?"

"My homework?"

"Yes. If you're Freddie today, then I expect you to turn in Freddie's homework."

"Yes my homework. I did it, see, but happen to not have it right here han-dy." He finished with a smile and tried not to laugh.

"Ok Freddie, do you happen to have Arnold's homework han-dy?"

"No."

This time Gabe laughed. "Ok, ok that's enough of the gag, Arnold. Could you tell me what this is about?"

Horshack dropped all of Freddie's mannerisms and tone from his speech. "Mr. Kotter if I told you, then you'd be upset. And then if Vinnie finds out I told you then he'd be upset."

"Speaking of Vinnie, where is he? And while we're at it, where's Freddie?"

"Well, well, well, Mr. Koter-er-er… Who's to say where anyone really is? Are we even here? Is here really the place we think it is?"

"Arnold I think you've been hanging around the auto shop class too long. All those fumes in there are messing with your head." This caused Horshack to start laughing, which Gabe quickly dismissed. "Oh, Arnold, I have the feeling that Vinnie and Freddie are currently in the same place as Epstein. But since you're not going to spill the beans yourself, why don't you take your seat. And maybe tomorrow you come to class as yourself."

Horshack laughed a little and gave him a small salute. "Aye aye Captain Kotter!"

He laughed some more before walking to his desk to sit down.

For a little while after the girls left the circle, the guys remained, goofing around and talking. Attention was on Epstein for a little bit as he told different stories from home. When he was finished with his stories, the subject switched to his current romantic relationship.

"So, Epstein," Eric said "Other than willingly dating the devil, what exactly brings you here to Point Place? I mean, there's nothing here. In fact, you're kind of looking at it."

"Well, ah, I'm here for Jackie. Hangin' with all of you is just a bonus."

"How long do you plan on staying here?" Hyde asked. "Because we've all been tryin' to get out since we knew how to walk."

"You kiddin'?" Epstein sat on the back of the couch. "I like it here. Yeah, the whole small town thing is a great change of pace from the big, loud, dirty city. Plus, without my brothers and sisters here, I have plenty of room to stretch out."

"Yeah that's got to be nice." Kelso said with a small smile. "At home, I always gotta worry about my brothers being around and messing with my stuff. And if I have a girl over I always have to keep my brother Casey from trying to take her from me."

"Yeah you get it. Having a big family is tough sometimes. At my house, a guy can't use the bathroom alone. Always someone coming in for some reason. My little brothers, they just come in to talk to me. The moment I sit on the john there they are!"

"You mean you have a family of twelve and only one bathroom?" Kelso asked. "We at least have a half bath." He laughed. "Yeah, I like to go in there sometimes to be by myself. My brothers don't like to go in there because it is the bathroom my sister insists on using for doing her hair and makeup. But I don't mind. She usually leaves good magazines to read."

"But, Kelso, all your sister reads is Cosmo." Eric said before laughing. "Dude you read Cosmo!"

"There's good stuff in there. You can learn a lot of things from Cosmo."

"Yeah, yeah like the latest fad diets and make-up tips to make you the pretty princess that you are." Epstein finished with a laugh.

Fez leaned in toward Kelso. "Ah, yes, Kelso I believe that was a BUUURRRN!" he sang the word "burn" and then finished with a bow.

"Hey I believe that was Epstein's first Wisconsin burn." Hyde said with a proud grin. He leaned forward and gave Epstein a low five. "Congrats, man."

"Hey thanks. I'm sure I'll have more as I stay here." He grinned a little. "I haven't said anything to Jackie yet, but, ah, I think I'm going to stay here. For good."

The other guys stared at him in disbelief.

"Dude!" Eric exclaimed. "You can't be serious."

"I am serious. I love Jackie. And I like it here. So I'm stayin'."

Hyde took to his feet. "That's it." He looked at Eric. "Forman, you know what to do."

"I'm on it!" Eric bounded over to the shelves and grabbed the Green Bay Packers helmet. He then tossed the helmet to Epstein. "Here, put that on."

"What?" Epstein asked, looking at the helmet in confusion. "Why?"

"Just put it on and we'll explain." Hyde replied.

Though confused, Epstein shrugged and then put on the helmet. Kelso laughed and Fez let out a delighted gasp.

"It actually fits over his hair!" Fez clapped his hands.

"Yeah, yeah. Ok I got it on. What now?"

Hyde stepped over to Epstein. "This, my Puerto Rican Jewish friend, is what we call the stupid helmet. It has been worn by each of us at some point. Whenever one of us comes up with an incredibly stupid idea, he has to wear the stupid helmet. It also comes in handy if someone, usually Kelso, has an incredibly stupid idea that could cause physical harm."

"So, you want me to wear this helmet because I want to move here to be with Jackie?"

"Right! You got it!" Eric exclaimed.

"And since this is, so far, the stupidest thing anyone here has ever said, you need to wear it extra-long and really think about your plan." Hyde added

Epstein stood up, hopping off the couch. He then tore the helmet off and tossed it down onto the couch cushions.

"I ain't wearin' that! I've already thought about this before I got here. My mind's made up. I'm stayin' with Jackie. Besides, if I continue to wear that, then I'm betrayin' New York."

"Well then you already betrayed then by saying you're moving here. So it's probably a safe bet to keep it on a while." Hyde said. He picked up the helmet and handed it to Epstein. "Put it back on. Trust us, you need it."

"Fine fine!" Epstein grabbed the helmet in a huff and put it back on his head. "I'll wear it for now. You guys might think my plan is stupid. But at least I didn't say I was going to marry her."

"Yes." Eric said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Because completely uprooting your life and moving to a different state to be with a girl while you're both still in high school is so much better."

Before anyone else could say anything, Jackie entered the basement. She took one look at Epstein and then looked at the other guys, offended.

"You guys made Juan wear the stupid helmet? What did he do?"

"Nothing, babe." Epstein took the helmet off and sat it on the couch. "They were just having a gag." He took her hands and then kissed her.

"Ok good, good." She looked at the others. "Because if any of you make him wear the stupid helmet again, I will come after you and I will hurt you."

"Hey, hey, let's get out of here. Go somewhere, where we can talk."

Jackie grinned. "Ok let's go."

Holding hands, Jackie and Epstein left the basement together, leaving the guys disgusted and disappointed at their actions.

Jackie opened the sliding glass door and stepped into the kitchen, Epstein following close by. Kitty pulled something out of the oven and sat the hot pan on the counter next to the stove. She closed the oven door and then looked up at the two teens.

"Oh!" She let out a small laugh. "Jackie I didn't know you were here."

"Mrs. Forman, those idiots in the basement made Juan wear the stupid helmet."

"They did? Well they're just rude." Kitty paused. "Who's Juan?"

Jackie ushered Epstein forward. "This is Juan, my boyfriend."

Epstein stepped forward and extended a hand for Kitty to shake. "Juan Epstein. You must be Eric's mother."

"Oh my!" Kitty smiled, placing a hand on her chest. "You seem like a fine young man. I haven't seen you around here. Do you live nearby?"

Jackie leaned in with a proud smiled. "No, Mrs. Forman. Juan is from New York." She bragged.

"Oh! New York. My you sure have come a long way just to see your girlfriend."

Epstein grinned. "Brooklyn to be exact." He looked at Jackie. "I'd travel the world just to be with Jackie."

"Oh Juan!" Jackie giggled.

Kitty placed a hand on her hip. "Well, Jackie, looks like you've found yourself a keeper. I can already tell he's far more charming than Michael ever was."

Jackie smiled. "Thank you Mrs. Forman!"

"Now, what do you say we sit at the table so I can get to know your boyfriend?" Kitty asked.

Before either of them could answer, she picked up a plate of brownies and carried it to the table. Epstein's face lit up and he practically glided over to the nearest empty chair.

"Man I sure like it here!" he laughed and picked up a brownie. He took a bite and his eyes widened with delight. "These are amazing! What bakery did these come from?"

Kitty laughed. "Bakery? No, no, no. I made them from scratch."

"They're the best I ever had." He frowned slightly. "My mother hardly ever bakes from scratch. Only time she does is around Hanukkah. And even then, what she makes never even compares with this."

"Well it is my own special recipe." Kitty laughed. "Jackie, I like him already. It's only a shame he hasn't been around here sooner."

"Yeah, yeah. Funny how livin' several states away will keep people apart." Epstein said before taking Jackie's hand.

"Well you're here with me now, and that's all that matters." Jackie leaned in a kissed him.

Donna left her house with Vinnie and Freddie. They started heading next door when Freddie grabbed Donna to pull her aside. Donna told Vinnie to go on ahead and that they'd only be a minute. When Vinnie entered the Forman's driveway, Freddie looked at her.

"Hey, um, Donna listen. I didn't come here just to get Epstein. I have been wanting to see you since you left Brooklyn."

She grinned slightly. "I figured as much. I mean, I didn't think it would take both of you to bring Epstein home. Though, I do hear he's pretty over the moon with Jackie right now."

"Yeah, damn. I hope we're not too late." He looked at her in the eyes. "Listen, those two weeks with you…"

She grinned in understanding. "Don't worry about it, Freddie. It's not really something we should let our friends in on. At least not for a while."

"Right, right. Still too soon."

"Let's talk about this some other time. When, you know, our friends love lives aren't an issue." She laughed, causing him to laugh as well. "Come on, let's head next door. I'll have you and Vinnie meet the Formans before we meet up with the guys.

"Coo', coo'." He grinned. "It's good seein' you again."

"It's good seeing you too. Now come on, you and Vinnie have people to meet."

She and Freddie met up with Vinnie. The three of them then crossed the driveway and headed into the Forman's house through the sliding door.