A distant beeping pierces my sleep and drags me toward wakefulness. When I open my eyes, I realize that I slept on my couch, and the first thing I see is the vase of yellow roses on my kitchen counter. They make me smile until I remember the scene at Zeke's party.

I slip off the couch and stretch my stiff limbs. Making my way into the bedroom, I shut off the alarm and slip into my workout clothes. Back in the kitchen, I grab a water bottle and head for the door. I hesitate before leaving my apartment, then go back for the flowers. I carry them to the garbage chute at the end of the hall and drop them in, vase and all. I don't know what future, if any, I have with Tobias, but right now I just don't need the reminder of our fight.

After grabbing a light breakfast, I go to the designated training room and begin warming up. A few minutes later, Eric walks in.

"Grab a bag," he calls to me, "and don't forget to tape your hands this time."

I do as I'm told. I attack the bag with a few rounds of punches and kicks. It feels really good to burn some of my pent-up frustration.

"Talk to me, Stiff," says Eric.

I stop and turn to face my trainer.

"Talk to you?" I repeat, confused.

"I didn't say to stop punching," he retorts. "Talk to me. Tell me what you're thinking about. You need to get it out."

"Get what out?" I grunt, playing dumb as I resume my attack on the bag.

"Don't act stupid with me," Eric growls, seeing right through me. "I was there last night. Between that Erudite prick and Number Boy, you had a rough day yesterday. Did you get any sleep last night?"

"Actually, yeah, I passed out on the couch."

"Good," he replies. "So how are you feeling this morning?"

I shrug before throwing my next punch. "I don't know."

"Let me try again," says Eric. "Are you and Four still together?"

"I don't know," I say.

Eric rolls his eyes. "Well do you want to be?" he asks.

"I don't know," I repeat.

"Stiff, you're driving me crazy," he says. "Let's play a little game. You keep attacking the bag and I'll ask you questions. You're not allowed to think about it, just say the first thing that comes to your mind. Okay?"

"Eric," I object, "I don't see how this will help anything."

"Nevertheless," he says, "humor me."

I shrug and resume my cycle of punches and kicks at the bag. Jab, jab, cross. Jab, jab, kick. Jab, jab, cross. Jab, jab, kick. The rhythm is soothing.

"What's your favorite color?" asks Eric.

"What?" I nearly stumble as my rhythm is disrupted by the unexpected question.

"Don't think, just answer. The first thing that comes to your mind. And keep hitting the bag," he reminds me.

I roll my eyes and throw another punch at the bag. "Green," I say.

"I'm surprised you didn't say grey, Stiff," Eric teases.

"Why," I tease back, "because of your pretty grey eyes?"

Eric bats his eyelashes and puts a hand over his heart. "Why Stiff, I didn't know you cared," he mocks.

"Don't flatter yourself," I reply.

"How are the bruises on your leg?" he asks.

"Better," I reply without messing up my rhythm, "already starting to fade."

"Good," says Eric.

"You have a brother in Erudite, right?" he resumes questioning.

"As far as I know," I say. "I haven't heard from him since before Jeanine was taken down. Faction before blood and all that."

"And your parents?" he presses. "Were Mr. and Mrs. Stiff Abnegation-born or transfers?"

"Transfers," I reply. "Mom was Dauntless and Dad was Erudite."

"So their kids reverted back to their origins. Can't imagine that went over well in Stiff-land."

"Is that a question?" I snap. "You read the papers. Erudite had a field day with our 'defection.' They accused my parents of all kinds of abuse and crap that never happened."

I take another swing at the bag, thankful for the outlet as we talk about Erudite's lies.

"So you didn't leave for the same reasons as Number Boy?" Eric questions.

I'm mid-kick, and Eric's question angers me, throwing me off so badly that I almost fall. He steps quickly to my side and I feel his big, calloused hands on my shoulders, steadying me. I spin abruptly to face the young leader, and his hands drop when he sees the look on my face.

"My parents never laid a hand on me or my brother," I spit. "I don't know what you know or think you know about Tob-Four, but his past is none of your business. My parents are truly selfless. All they do is live a simple life and pour themselves into making this city a better place for everyone else. They shouldn't be accused of crap just because their kids wanted a different life. Scores of dependents transfer every year and no one accuses their parents of abuse!"

My fists are balled up tight, and my face is flushed with rage. I turn abruptly from Eric and throw my entire body into a punch that sets the heavy bag rocking, then I march resolutely toward the exit.

"Stiff!" Eric calls after me, "where are you going?"

"Home for a shower," I yell, flipping my middle finger over my shoulder to emphasize my rage.

"Stiff," Eric pleads, "Tris, listen. I'm sorry. I was just trying to get you talking about your family and my curiosity got the best of me. I don't mean to accuse your parents of anything."

"And yet here we are," I spit back at him as I step out the door and slam it behind me.

.

xxxx

.

Even after a long shower, I'm not feeling any better about my life. I'm angry at Dr. Marshall for harassing me. I'm angry with Erudite for their lies. I'm angry with Eric for believing those lies. I'm angry with Tobias for treating my like a helpless child, and for undermining me in front of our friends.

I miss the anonymity of Abnegation. It seems that my life was so much easier when no one was watching me. From the moment that I became "the Stiff who chose Dauntless," every eye has been on me. First jumper, first in my class, first to win the heart of reclusive "Dauntless prodigy" Four. It's a lot of pressure, especially for someone who was raised to deflect attention.

I take my time getting dressed. I really don't want to face Eric again. I know I should apologize for my outburst. After all, I was the one who brought up the Erudite reports about my family, and then I snapped at him for asking about it.

Tobias is a different situation. I know that he thinks he is right and that he will be expecting me to apologize. But I think I'm right and that he should be the one apologizing. We're at an impasse. I briefly consider conceding just to smooth things over, but my pride won't let me. I know that would just reinforce Tobias' protective and condescending behavior, and I'm fed up with it. I miss the way things were before I joined leadership and he became paranoid and overprotective.

Dressed and out of excuses to stay home, I slowly make my way to the leadership offices. I greet Kyle and place my palm on the sensor that lets me into the hall of private offices. I'm relieved to not run into anyone on my way down the hall, and I slip into my office with a sigh.

A slice of Dauntless cake is waiting on my desk with a simple apology note. It reads, "Stiff, I'm sorry. Eric." I sigh and pick up the cake. I carry it across the hall to Eric's office and tap on his door.

"It's open," he calls.

I enter and see Eric at his desk, preoccupied with some paperwork. Before he can glance up, I place the cake on his desk and slide it toward him.

"I should be the one giving you apology cake," I say. "It wasn't right for me to bring up the Erudite reports and then snap at you for asking a follow up question."

Eric smiles ruefully. "No. You've had a rough couple of days. I should know better than to bring up a sore subject. That's certainly not going to help you deal with the other things on your plate. I let my curiosity get the best of me. I really am sorry."

"That'll teach you to poke an angry bear," I tease. "Share the cake, then?"

Eric grins and riffles through his desk drawers, pulling out two plastic-wrapped forks. I drag a chair closer to his desk, and we share the rich treat in companionable silence. When it's gone, Eric gathers up the garbage as I walk toward the door.

"I have to get back to work," I say. "Thanks for the cake."

"Thanks for sharing," he replies as I walk out.

"Hey, Stiff?" he calls.

I pop my head back in his office door.

"Are we good?" he asks.

I smile. "We're good. Thanks again."

.

xxxx

.

Refreshed by the treat and my mended friendship with Eric, I have a productive afternoon in the office. At dinner time Eric looks in on me.

"Hey, are you going to eat?" he asks.

"Not now," I say, trying to look too busy to go to the cafeteria.

"Stiff," Eric chides, "you need to eat. That cake offering came from my heart, but it's not enough food for one day. You need to eat dinner."

I sigh. I'm too tired to tease him back or make up a lie.

"You want to know the truth?" I ask. "I'm not ready to face my friends, and I really don't want to see Four yet. I'm embarrassed by the way he treated me last night, and I'm angry. I don't know where I stand with him. I can't walk away from what we have together, but I can't deal with him right now, either. I'm afraid I'll say something I'll regret."

Eric gives my a sad smile. "Hiding won't fix anything," he says gently.

"I know," I reply. "I just need some time to decide how I want to handle this. I have to figure out how I feel before I face him. Then I can fight for my relationship or end it confidently. I'm afraid right now I'd just let everyone's opinions sway me. I'm too tired to think straight, much less act."

"How about this," he suggests, "I'll run down to the cafeteria and pick up some dinner for you, and you can hide out in your apartment for the evening. Hopefully that will give you the time you need to sort this out, and tomorrow you can go back to eating three meals a day like a normal person."

I agree and began packing up my things. I hurry back to my apartment, avoiding anyone I see in the halls. A few minutes after I get home, I hear a knock on my door. I open the door, expecting to see Eric with my dinner, but it isn't Eric at the door.

It's Tobias.

.

Ugh. I'm so mean leaving you hanging like this.

I want to give a shout out to DragonMaster65 who has written some of my favorite Divergent Eris fics. I borrowed the leadership admin character, Kyle, from her work, though he's a lot more of a background character in mine. I also love Divergentpanda46, Anonymous189, and Celtictraveler. Check out their great stories and more good Divergent and Hunger Games fics by looking at my favorite authors and stories.

Thank you to everyone who has been reading, following, and reviewing this story.

XOXO,
Libby