"Tobias," I breathe, shocked to see my boyfriend. I was expecting Eric, who is getting me some dinner at the cafeteria so that I don't have to see the very man now standing at my door.

"I can't leave things like this," Tobias says, rubbing the back of his neck. "I have to know, Tris. I didn't sleep last night, and I was useless all day. I just keep going back to last night. I'm angry that you were hurt and hid it from me. I'm worried about you putting yourself in that situation. But more than that, I'm terrified that I pushed you away. I don't know where we stand, and I feel so lost."

"I know," I say quietly. "I feel the same way."

"I don't want to fight any more," Tobias interjects.

"Me neither. Can I be brutally honest with you, Tobias?"

He swallows hard and nods. I can see fear in his eyes, so I weigh my words carefully.

"You've been my first, well, everything. I care about you so much. You've made me so happy and helped me find my way here in Dauntless. When things are good between us, they're really good. We have so much in common and we understand each other really well. I don't want to lose that. But I also want a chance to prove myself, to do it on my own. I was planning on spending this evening here by myself, thinking about what I want. I thought you could do the same thing, and tomorrow we could talk about it and move forward. It's going to be a battle, Tobias. We'll either have to fight for our relationship or fight to salvage our friendship."

"Love shouldn't be a fight, Tris."

"I know," I say sadly. "It's not, really. When two people love each other, though, they have to battle their own selfishness and whatever outside forces get in the way. It's not always ugly, but relationships of any kind require effort."

Tobias nods sadly. "You've changed since initiation," he admits, "sometimes I don't know where I fit into your life any more."

I agree. "Life here is so different from Abnegation. My roles here, the mindset, everything. It's a lot to take in while trying to survive initiation and now going through leadership training. Sometimes I don't know where I fit in my own life."

A lone tear trickles down Tobias' cheek. I reach up to wipe it away, and he pulls my into his arms.

"I hate this," he says, "but we need some space. To find ourselves again. I think we know what we need to do."

His voice breaks and I feel my own tears begin to flow as I press myself harder into Tobias' chest. For a moment we just stand and hold one another.

"Tobias," I say in a soft voice, "I love you, and I want you to know that anything you told me, what I saw in your fear landscape, anything we did together, it all remains between us. I'll never use it against you."

"Thank you," he breathes. "And the same goes for you. Your divergence, everything. It stays between us."

I nod into his chest and we squeeze each other before pulling apart.

"Friends?" he asks.

"Friends," I confirm.

"I start second shift tomorrow," he reminds me. "I'll be at lunch before work. We should tell our friends then. Together. Try to make it as normal as we can. No one needs to pick sides. We can stay friends, and they can too."

"You make it sound easy," I giggle a little, wiping at the traces of tears on my cheeks.

"Well, I'm an optimist," he replies.

I laugh out loud at that idea. "Since when?"

"Since now, I guess. We can do this."

"I know," I say.

Tobias gives me a brief hug before walking away.

"This is already awkward," I call to him.

"That's because I don't usually hug my friends," he calls back.

Tobias rounds the corner and I let out a deep breath.

"You're right," comes a voice from the other direction, "that was awkward. Especially for me."

"Eric? Did you just listen in on my breakup?"

"I brought your dinner," he says, "but you and Number Boy were working out your relationship, so I stayed out of the way around the corner."

I motion for him to come in my apartment and he follows, bringing two trays of food from the cafeteria.

"If I knew I was in for a breakup I would have brought us ice cream," he says as he set the trays on my kitchen island.

"Lucky for you," I tease back, "I have some in my freezer. It should help you get past your trauma."

"I don't know. It better be chocolate. I just endured a breakup and I didn't even get to be in a relationship."

I laugh. I'm glad Eric is here to keep things light. Plus, he brought me pizza for dinner, and I'm starving. We eat our dinners, then move into the living room for ice cream. I'm mulling things over as I take my first bite. Suddenly the things we said in Eric's hearing come back to me and I look up, alarm spread across my face.

"Oh my god, Eric. How much did you actually hear?"

Eric laughs, "I wondered when you would put the pieces together. Don't worry about it. I went through initiation with Four, remember? Unlike most people around here, I was at the same choosing ceremony, and I noticed Marcus Eaton's son choosing Dauntless. I saw his back before he covered it in tattoos, and I read the Erudite reports about Marcus. It wasn't hard to put those pieces together."

"Then why don't Zeke and Shauna know?" I ask.

"Apparently they weren't really paying attention to a stiff at the choosing ceremony, and then the Dauntless-born are trained separately from the transfers at first. By the time they got to know him he was Four, new record holder for fewest fears in Dauntless history. It didn't take long before that was all people knew. A few still remember Marcus' son, but they keep it to themselves."

"What else did you hear?" I ask, trying to sound casual even as my heart races with the realization that Eric probably heard what Tobias said about my divergence.

"You mean, like your divergence?" he asks. "Again, something I already knew. You don't hide it half as well as you think you do."

My eyes grow wide and I feel like all the air has been sucked out of the room.

"Breathe, Stiff," Eric reminds me. "I'm not going to kill you or anything. Jeanine is gone. No one is hunting divergents any more."

"How- how long have you known?" I squeak out.

Eric laughs. "I suspected it when you let Four throw knives at you to spare that idiot Candor kid."

"Al," I say sadly.

"Yeah, Al. I thought you were Dauntless when you were first jumper, but when you took the knives for Al you seemed Abnegation. So I looked up your test results and found a manually entered Abnegation. That's when I started keeping an eye on you. At capture the flag your reasoning skills were so Erudite that I was baffled. When your sim results hit another malfunction, I knew for sure that you were divergent and Four was helping you cover up. I worked my ass off to keep you off Jeanine's radar. When you pulled that stunt trying to see your brother in Erudite I thought for sure you were dead after that.

Lucky for both of us that's when Jeanine let me in on the secret lab she was running, and I had enough evidence to have Candor take her down. Just think, Stiff, I could have this ice cream all to myself if I hadn't kept Jeanine off your trail. Yup, a whole carton of chocolate just for me."

"To help you through the breakup you wouldn't have witnessed," I tease, throwing a pillow at Eric's head.

"For real, Eric, thank you. For hiding my divergence, for taking on Jeanine, and for being here tonight. I owe you far more than ice cream."

"Well, now that you're single I can think of a few things you can do to express your appreciation." He waggles his eyebrows up and down, and I feel myself go beet red at his implication.

Eric laughs, "that is exactly the reaction I wanted. You stiffs crack me up."

I launch another pillow at him.

"Can I ask you a question for real?" asks Eric.

"It's the least I can do for the 'hero of Chicago,'" I tease.

"What were your aptitudes?" he asks.

"You had it right," I answer, "Abnegation, Dauntless, and Erudite."

"You really have three?" he questions, awe in his voice. "No one has ever had more than two that I know of. Is Four divergent too?"

"I kind of promised to keep his secrets, remember? But I can honestly tell you that I don't know," I reply. "His father taught him how to make sure he got a perfect Abnegation result, so he never got to take the test honestly."

"Obviously he is divergent then," says Eric, "because only divergents are aware in a sim, and you would have to be to ensure the result you wanted."

"He has always wanted a chance to take the test for real," I say. "I told him recently that I would talk to Tori and try to make that happen for him."

"It can't change anything," says Eric. "He chose his faction and passed initiation, so he's stuck here unless he wants to be factionless."

"That's what I told him, but he still wants to know."

Eric is quiet for a minute. I can tell that he's deep in thought, parsing out some puzzle like the Erudite he once was.

"This is a fascinating question," he finally muses aloud. "We test dependents who have had a specific genetic background and upbringing - nature and nurture. But what would happen if we tested adults? They have their genes, their childhood upbringings, and their training working together to inform their way of thinking. Would that be different from the results they got the first time?"

I giggle. "Earth to Nose. Your vocabulary just got really technical, and your ice cream is melting."

Eric smiles. "I'll see what I can do. I'll bet we could give Number Boy his chance at the test."

When the ice cream is gone, Eric gathers the dishes to return to the cafeteria while I gather the cups and ice cream bowls that belong in my kitchen. We bid each other a friendly goodnight at the door.

.

xxxx

.

Eric had offered me a morning off from training, but I know I will be nervous about telling my friends about the breakup, so I insisted on training as usual. It's a beautiful late fall day, so Eric suggests a run outside as a compromise. As we jog through the streets of Chicago, I revel in the sunshine on my face and the fresh breeze. It's the perfect way to clear my mind and prepare for the day ahead.

After a shower and a change of clothes, I meet Tobias outside the cafeteria. We smile shyly and I grab his hand as we walk into the cafeteria and over to our usual table. Our friends are all there, trays of lunch in front of them. Tobias stops at the head of the table and speaks up.

"Everyone, Tris and I have something to tell you."

Our friends immediately stop what they were doing. Uriah even freezes with his fork halfway to his mouth, which makes me giggle. Christina wears a shocked expression and her eyes dart quickly to my hand then back to my face.

"Okay," Tobias begins, collecting his thoughts before he continues. "Tris and I had a talk last night, and we decided that as much as we care about each other, our relationship just isn't what's best for us right now, so we're going to go back to being friends."

He smiles down at me, "right?"

"Right," I agree. "And we don't want you guys to feel weird or think you have to pick sides. We didn't fight about it, neither of us did anything to the other. We decided together that this is what's best for us."

"I thought you were going to say that you got engaged," says Christina, ruefully.

"Or pregnant," say Zeke and Uriah at the same time.

"Jinx!" yells Uri.

"Shut up-" begins Zeke before his brother cuts him off.

"You can't talk! Those are the rules!"

Zeke huffs and sulks away from the table. I'm confused, as I often am by their weird little games, and I'm about to ask what is happening when Zeke returns to the table bearing a piece of Dauntless cake, which he places in front of his brother.

"There," says Uriah, "was that so hard?"

Zeke sticks his tongue out in response, and Tobias and I laugh as we go to get ourselves some lunch.