"Fate will come looking for you. Don't bother hiding"
Lauren Bjorkman, Miss Fortune Cookie
Sarah felt like she was once again presented with two, no good, very bad options. Left or Right. Red or blue. Up or Down.
"Actually," she forced a fake cough, "I've got a cold."
Karen's face fell. Her dad looked awkwardly at the floor and rubbed his neck.
Jareth merely smiled. "Indeed. But as I gave it to her, fair is fair."
To say that Sarah was surprised to find herself sharing a first kiss with the Goblin King, under a mistletoe, within the first few minutes of being home, and in front of her parents, was a gross understatement.
But there she was, his lips on hers. No denying the obvious.
Kissing was something Sarah had always enjoyed but had found to be a skill most did not possess. The majority of people were in fact terrible kissers. Too much tongue. Too much nose. Too much spit. Or they rushed right past kissing to other more adult pursuits.
The Goblin King, on the other hand, was a very good kisser.
Despite the awkwardness of the situation it was hard not to appreciate the skill in which he'd tilted his head to hers so that their noses didn't bump. The fact that his lips were soft but not wet. The fact that his breath was clean but not overpowering. The fact that his hand, the one that had curled around her back to draw her in, now lightly stroked her waist in a way she could absolutely still feel through the wool of her coat.
And then he did that rare thing Sarah had always considered her Achilles heel. He made a soft exhalation of appreciation. Almost a groan. The kind you only read about in books. Like there was nothing better in the world than kissing her in that moment.
His tongue teased along the seam of her mouth, and she parted them instinctively. The only thing that stopped the kiss from going further was the sound of a throat clearing. Her father's.
Sarah was immediately reminded that he'd once caught her making out with Cody Hines in tenth grade. Cody with braces who always spit when he talked. Cody who tasted like old peanut butter because he never brushed his braces properly. The mortification of the light coming on in her basement. Cody's face drawing back, her own creasing into a look of horror that matched her father's – only hers was covered in drool. And not her drool.
Sarah pulled back, her face turning the same shade of red it had thirteen years before.
Karen was absolutely glowing. She had a look of bliss on her face, with one hand pressed to her chest like she was watching a Hallmark movie. There was a glint in her eye that suggested she would have left them alone and hedged her bets on getting a grandchild no more than nine months later.
Her father was trying to look disapproving and fatherly, but still managed to look pleased. In a way it hadn't when he caught Cody.
"Oh my," Karen sighed loudly, as though her happiness couldn't be muted any longer. "If that's how it is every time, no wonder you've stolen our Sarah away."
"I try," Jareth replied, his hand still holding her flush to his side.
"Don't make me load my old 26," teased Robert. Sarah didn't have the heart to tell her father that wasn't a thing.
Just then Toby came down the stairs like a herd of elephants and bounded into the hall. He shook his longish hair out of his eyes and cracked a smile when he say Sarah. The smile tilted when he took in Jareth.
His brow furrowed for a moment, as though his mind was trying to make sense of the nonsensical and then the smile slid back into place.
Sarah took that opportunity to put some distance between herself and her 'boyfriend'.
She enveloped him in a tight hug, marvelling at the fact that he was almost her height. She ruffled his hair in a way he always protested but secretly loved.
"Merry Christmas, kiddo. So good to see you!" Toby's eyes drifted back to Jareth as though magnetized. "Ah… this is Jareth."
The not-Goblin King reached out a hand. "You must be Toby."
Toby nodded and shook it, his eyes widening for a moment like he'd been shocked.
"I hope you realize just how special you are to your sister."
"Have we met before? You look weirdly familiar." Toby looked confused.
Sarah, watching the exchange like a deer caught in the headlights, clapped her hands. "Well! Now that we're all introduced, let's not stand here talking." Anything but talking. She pulled her coat off and then motioned for Jareth's so she could hang them up.
The not-Goblin King looked amused but complied.
Sarah returned and picked up her bag. "I assume I have my old room? Where should we put ah, his things?"
Karen did that disconcerting giggle again. "Oh, Sarah, you're an adult. With yours of course."
Sarah could practically feel the grin radiating behind her. "Oh, we couldn't. We really couldn't," she said through clenched teeth. "Out of respect for you both."
"Nonsense, dear. Your father doesn't mind." She didn't wait for Robert's input. "Plus your great aunt Elizabeth is coming tomorrow and that's it for bedrooms."
Panic. "Doesn't Toby still have a bunk bed?"
She could feel the grin change to something far less amused behind her.
"Well, I suppose…" Karen trailed off with a frown.
"I'd be delighted to sleep anywhere, Karen," Jareth offered smoothly. "I'm sure if I 'bunk' in Toby's room we can spend some time getting to know one another. Share some stories. Man to man."
"My room it is!" Sarah exclaimed immediately – a touch too loudly. She took Jareth's arm and affected a bright smile. "Since we are all just perfectly fine with that arrangement. Fine."Her voice rising with every word. "It's fine!"
"Perfectly," Jareth agreed.
"Well, it's all settled then," Karen said with immense satisfaction. "We'll let you get comfortable and then come down and join us for an early supper when you're ready, hmm? I just ordered Chinese for tonight since we weren't sure on your arrival with the weather. I promise to cook you something homemade and extra delicious tomorrow," Karen added to Jareth specifically.
"It all sounds lovely," he replied affably. "In the meantime Sarah is sweet enough."
Sarah felt her smile crack but she managed to hold it until they were out of sight and up the stairs.
"You are supposed to be boring!" Sarah hissed. "Stop making Karen melt. She'll be goo by Christmas at this rate."
He flashed her an equally devastating smile. "I can't help if I've that effect on mortal women."
"Don't flatter yourself. Karen would stick me with the toothless mailman if it meant getting a grandchild."
"Come, come Sarah, your options may be limited but I hardly think you're that desperate. Yet."
Sarah opened her old bedroom door and pushed him in. Which of course was a mistake because it just brought home how small her room was. And how they were both in it together. And that there was only one bed. And it was only a double, which might as well have been a single.
The room had been renovated since she was younger, the wallpaper replaced at some point. But affectations of her childhood still coloured the space. A print on the wall here, a tchotchke there. Things Sarah hadn't taken with her when she'd gone away to school but had been too valuable in their way to get rid of.
"Charming," Jareth remarked jovially. He dropped his bag and took in the room. He picked up her old music box, turning the crank until the tinny tune began to play and the figurine began to dance.
"You were thinking about this dress. The big skirt, the jewels… thinking you'd look like some sort of fairy princess."
Sarah stared at him wide eyed, and then sobered. "Yes, well poisoned peaches will do that. I thought that ridiculous get up had been your doing." Ridiculous but beautiful.
Jareth tutted, setting the box down. "Hardly. That confection was practically virginal. I'd have chosen something far more revealing."
Sarah pulled a face. "I was fifteen."
"Yes. An entirely awkward age. Too old to turn, too young to keep." He smiled. "Not anymore."
Sarah quickly turned away and began hanging a few things in the closet. Anything to distract her from the situation. When she turned back around, the not-Goblin King was stretched out on her bed, watching her with arms folded behind his head.
Something stuck in the back of Sarah's throat. "This is not going to work."
"I agree. That tiny excuse for a closet cannot possibly hold everything I've brought."
She looked incredulously at the small leather satchel. "What, are you Mary Poppins?"
"Sarah, I can't pretend to understand you at all. First I was Obo something now I am someone called Mary? We really must stick to the script if we are to have any chance of fooling your parents."
"Speaking of the script, I specifically said minimal touching. Min-i-mal."
He slid to one side, patting the space beside him. "I shall endeavour to keep my distance, but it's a small bed so I can't help it if you accost my person in your sleep."
Hands pressed to her temples. "Oh my god."
"Jareth," he corrected with a gleam.
"You can sleep on the floor." She pulled open the closet again and began digging.
The gleam faded.
"There!" Sarah triumphantly held up a faded pink sleeping bag. It looked like it would fit a ten year old at best.
"You can't possibly expect me to sleep in that."
Sarah nodded enthusiastically. "Oh yes. I'll be generous and get a few more blankets. Maybe some pillows."
"I'm not sure I like this side of you, Sarah. And you don't think your parents will find it odd that two people in l-" Sarah held up a warning hand, "ike would sleep separately?"
"They don't have to know. And if they do, I'll think of something."
"The lies keep piling up don't they? You are really vying for top of the naughty list year."
"Well I would so hate to dethrone you."
Jareth ignored her and scanned the small space again. "I suppose I could whip something together."
"No magic!"
"Then shall I instead 'bunk' with your brother? You know, I suspect a part of him actually remembers me. We did bond over those thirteen hours you wished him away."
"Fine," her voice had almost reclaimed the same whine from thirteen years ago. "I'll just sleep on the floor."
"Probably for the best if you're so worried you won't be able to keep your hands to yourself."
Sarah looked positively apoplectic. She pointed an accusing finger. "I know what you're doing."
"I rather doubt that."
"It won't work. I won't be manipulated anymore by amoral Goblin Kings."
"You're the one who placed a public ad to fool your parents, at Christmas no less, but by all means claim the moral high ground," he replied dryly.
"I can't believe I ever thought this would work."
There was a brief knock and then the door swung open.
Sarah sat down quickly on the edge of the bed as though she'd been caught. Jareth's hand settled heavily on her thigh. Like it belonged there. His hand was so much warmer without the coat between them. She glanced down to see he wasn't wearing gloves and then looked back up, plastering a rather fragile smile on her face.
Karen took the pair in and then gestured around the room. "Have everything you need?"
"Absolutely everything," replied Jareth warmly, his long fingers drumming against her jeans in a way Sarah found highly distracting.
"Excellent! Didn't mean to interrupt," Karen gave a knowing little smirk, "but the food is here. Better get down there before Toby eats it all. I swear that boy," she added affectionately on her way out the door.
Sarah grabbed his hand to remove it.
Karen turned and ducked her head back in.
Jareth threaded his fingers through hers instead. Sarah's smile wobbled further.
"I just wanted to say your father and I are so happy to have you both here for Christmas."
"It's fair to say there is nowhere else I would rather be," Jareth replied in a tone that reeked of pure triumph.
As soon as the door closed, Sarah uncoiled her hand and stood up. "What happened to 'best behaviour'?"
"You'll have to admit I could be much worse."
"That is really small comfort, right now. Can we please just get dinner over with without any incidents?"
Jareth offered her a lazy grin.
Sarah frowned. "And get out of my bed."
He gave her a look of mock surprise. "I think that is the first time any woman has ever said that to me." But he stood up, adjusting his shirt. "It really is exhausting living up to your expectations."
When they got downstairs the food was already all laid out. As Karen had warned, Toby's plate was already laden with an obscene amount of bright red chicken balls, ribs, and a mountain of fried rice.
He greeted them with a full mouth.
"Gross," Sarah chided affectionately.
Karen had seated them side by side. Rather closer than the dimensions of the dining table required.
Jareth stared at the Americanized Chinese fair dubiously. Sarah filled her plate and then nudged him when he looked reluctant to do the same.
Robert offered them both wine. Sarah tipped the end of the bottle down when her father looked to fill it only halfway.
Jareth poked at a bright red ball.
"Have you never had chicken balls before?" Toby asked dubiously, his mouth still too full to speak politely.
"I've not had that… pleasure. Where I'm from these would probably cause a riot."
Sarah choked on her wine.
"You have a funny accent. Where are you from?"
"Toby!" Karen admonished.
"The Undergrou-"
Sarah kicked him under the table.
"The land down under. Australia," she covered quickly.
Jareth raised a brow but didn't argue.
"I wondered," Karen remarked with interest. "Sarah told us so little. Though I would have guessed England."
"I travel."
"He does," Sarah agreed. "Always gone. For work. That's why this visit is kind of a one-time thing. He's so often away." She affected to look put out.
Jareth chuckled, dropping his arm behind her back. "It's true. I keep asking Sarah to come with me, but as you know, she's ever the stubborn one."
"You should go with him, Sarah," her father interjected earnestly. "What an experience! Treat yourself."
"Yes, Sarah," Jareth agreed, the amusement in his voice now entirely impossible to ignore. "Treat yourself."
"Oh I wish you would," Karen added. "What fun!"
She took a generous gulp of wine.
Jareth's eyes positively gleamed.
The rest of the meal went by fairly unremarkably. Sarah had been right – the mentions of tech sales meant almost no follow up questions. Toby had looked briefly interested, but Sarah managed that by refilling his plate continually.
Despite being new to the take out experience, Jareth proved to be the most adept with the chop sticks. The rest of the Williams family mostly flung rice about haphazardly, Sarah being marginally better. Jareth on the other hand was an expert. Sarah couldn't help being drawn to his bare hands and how deftly his long fingers manoeuvred everything.
The same fingers that had curled around her thigh. Stop it.
She had almost started to relax again, aided by a few refills of wine, when they got to the fortune cookies. It was a tradition in her family to read them aloud.
Toby chose his first. "Your love of music will be an important part of your life." He rolled his eyes but looked a little pleased. "In bed," he added with an immature grin.
Robert cracked his open next. "'Your home is the center of great love.' Well I'll certainly drink to that."
"Your goals are within your reach." Karen shared a small smile with her husband, and raised her glass.
Sarah snapped hers open, sliding the slim piece of paper out. "In lies there is sometimes found a truth."
"In bed," Toby added.
"Doesn't really work," Sarah replied with a snort, then frowned at her paper.
The not-Goblin King opened his. "Now is the time to reclaim what you lost."
Sarah looked up suspiciously, feeling the universe begin to coalesce against her.
"In bed," Toby helpfully added again.
"Indeed," Jareth agreed. "It has been a rather tiring day."
"No doubt," Karen nodded sympathetically. "We'll clean up. You two should just head up to bed."
Jareth smiled widely. "What a fantastic idea."
AN: I couldn't resist revisiting fortune cookies. Next comes the logistics of sleeping… *I'm sure nothing could go wrong there*.
I have not forgotten about Tanglewood. This fic is like my side piece. I'm a two timing bastard, but I know that Tanglewood is ever forgiving. I just might have to sleep on the couch.
For those who have asked the chapters are likely going to stay this length. Between 2000-3000 words means I can manage this (incredibly unusual for me) updating schedule.
Thanks for the love, and ideas! I dig hearing about your fave tropes and predictions.