Everything's Worse With Bears
Author's Note: Yes, DC made a Deathstroke/Yogi Bear crossover. It exists.
Raven was busy healing Robin's injuries as he stared up at the ceiling.
"How did she come back? It doesn't make any sense," Robin said to himself.
"My Mom is a normal person, no superpowers, no connections to anyone who would know how to raise the dead, so I can't figure out who would be able to do it. It certainly wouldn't be Slade."
He looked at Raven, "Did you sense anything wrong with her? Like she was being controlled?"
Raven shook her head, "No, I couldn't sense anything like mind control. She was mentally sound."
"I scanned her biometrics, she didn't have anything on or inside her body that indicates Slade was physically forcing her to commit crimes," Cyborg told him.
"I'm just confused," Robin covered his eyes. "She only beat me because I let my guard down. I won't let that happen again!"
Robin slammed his fist into his palm.
"I don't get it, dude, you always said your Mom was a good person. Why would she be working with Slade?" Beast Boy frowned.
"She wasn't an amateur, that's for sure," Robin noted. "The only other person I've seen who was that good at getting by security is Red X, and he has Xenothium gadgets. She may have weapons Slade gave her, but she didn't use any of them to get into Powers Industries to get those computer chips."
"Robin, there's something I don't get. What's in it for her?" Cyborg asked. "She didn't say anything about Slade's plans and why she's working for him."
"That's a good point, what is in it for her?" Robin sighed. "That is interesting; I didn't hear Slade talk to her the entire time. Didn't see an earpiece on her either."
"When Terra was working for Slade, she talked about his plans, just a little, but your Mom didn't say anything," Beast Boy nodded.
"What if it is not Slade's plan, but hers, what could she be planning Robin?" Starfire asked him.
"Beast Boy, you said she quoted Matthew Stover, Revenge of the Sith, right?" Robin looked at his sci-fi loving green friend.
"Yeah, but why's that important?" Beast Boy asked.
"In a nutshell, what is Revenge of the Sith about?" Robin prodded.
"It's about how the Galactic Republic was destroyed by the Dark Side."
"Its third gift is the light itself: as days are defined by the nights that divide them, as stars are defined by the infinite black through which they wheel, the dark embraces the light, and brings it forth from the center of its own self. With each victory of the light, it is the dark that wins," Robin quoted the book.
"What is something that my mother associates with light? The spotlights, the circus, Haly's Circus where our family was the main draw," Robin gestured to Cyborg. "Cyborg, bring up the route card."
"What's that?" Cyborg asked.
"The circus schedule. They should have it on the internet."
Cyborg pulled it up, "They'll be here in three days."
"It's not a coincidence, she wants me to go home, but she's keeping the reason why away from me," Robin frowned. He moved to stand in front of the giant screen.
"She wants me to find out something about the circus but she doesn't want to tell me what it is."
Robin didn't turn around, "Did you check their graves like I asked, Batman?"
The other four Titans jumped out of their skin, Raven was surprised, she hadn't even sensed him!
"Yes, I have, and both your parents' bodies are gone, just like she said." Batman came over and put a hand on his shoulder. "Dick, do you want me to help?"
Batman unmasked himself.
"No, Bruce, I'll handle her on my own, but if anything important comes up, I'll let you know."
Dick grinned, "So what brings Bruce Wayne, billionaire playboy to Jump City? You here to check up on Wayne Enterprises?"
"The sign you wrecked has been fixed, you know," Batman told him.
"You know I'm sorry—" Dick began to apologize.
"There's nothing to apologize for. You did what you had to do. You don't do anything without a reason and you did it for your friends. Slade forced you to steal for him, that's different than joining him because you want to."
"I know, but I'm sorry," Robin glanced at him. "We didn't part on the best terms."
"Don't worry about it; It's water under the bridge now. I've heard you have a nice view on the roof. I'm going to go up and practice my speech."
"Speech? For what?" Robin asked.
"Bruce Wayne is giving a speech for Samantha Vanaver's orphanage she's opening in Jump City,"
"You don't normally show your face to other heroes, why us?" Cyborg asked.
"Because Dick trusts you, and I trust him," Batman told them.
"We are deeply honored, you do not have to tell us these things," Starfire smiled.
"People wouldn't believe us anyway," Beast Boy gawked. "I wouldn't have figured it out."
"Of course you wouldn't, you're not that smart," Raven smirked.
Batman turned and began heading towards the elevator.
"Oh, and Robin, in Revenge of the Sith, the darkness was hiding in plain sight."
"Didn't think he did anything remotely fun," Beast Boy muttered.
Alfred entered the room, exiting the elevator.
"You know I could just fly over the crowd in the Batwing and dose them all with knockout gas to save time on your speech!" Robin called.
"I for one will be hanging on every word. However, pillows and blankets will be available for those who should require them," Alfred quipped.
The older man walked up to Robin and held out a plate full of something. Beast Boy sniffed, it smelled awesome. Robin high-fived him for that joke.
"Are those your hot buttered raisin scones?!" Robin asked.
"Yes, of course, Master Dick," Alfred Pennyworth smiled.
"You're the best, Alfie," Robin smiled.
Raven got up and joined Batman in the elevator. "Batman…do you want emotional healing?"
"No, but thank you for the offer. Unlike Dick, I…have to be Batman. My parents' death made me what I am, but he can move on. I can't."
Raven decided to listen to his speech out of curiosity.
Several minutes later, Raven rejoined her friends. She raised an eyebrow at Robin. "You're right; knockout gas would save time on that speech. Is he this long-winded at work?"
"He doesn't talk too much during work. You want some of these scones, if you don't, I'll eat them all!" Robin warned.
Raven grabbed some and ate them, he was right, these were good.
Mary slept for the first time in a long time.
Mary felt at peace, it's almost surreal, she's dead but she's floating up out of Haly's Circus. She sees her son climb down from the platform and move over to their bodies.
Danny Podeet, the roustabout pulled her son into a comforting hug. "Don't look, kid, whatever you do, don't look."
Dick looked anyway.
"Mom…Dad…Please don't die—don't die! I love you…I love you! You can't die…You can't…you can't!"
"Dick i-it's too late. Come with me," Harry the clown is trying to get him away from the bodies.
Stan "M.C." Rutledge is trying to keep the audience from panicking. "Everyone get back in your places…We can't let the audience panic."
But there is nothing anyone can do. Mary feels at peace with her life and it all fades away.
Mary woke up after that.
Mary looked down at the suitcase, "What's this?"
"Money, for the information about that incident in Kravia. I paid you what I feel the info's worth, besides, it always helps to have unexpected information if one of my clients should try to take advantage of me."
"Slade, someone's out front," Mary pointed at the screen. "Wait, is that who I think it is?"
"How did the heck did he even find me?!" Slade exclaimed. "I guess he is smarter than the average bear."
"Slade, how in the world do you know Yogi Bear?" Mary asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I did a job for him, how do you know him?" Slade asked, confused.
"He used to be an attraction at Haly's Circus along with Boo-Boo. The animal trainers taught him and Boo-Boo to walk and talk like humans because they were so smart. He drew a huge crowd, but we…ah kinda got rid of them. They made me break it to him gently when we left him at Jellystone Park."
"Why's that?" Slade found this coincidence extremely amusing.
"He never stopped eating people food. He'd raid the cook shack where the employees eat and constantly stole Dukie Bags, bagged lunches. He was very fond of Aba-daba."
"Aba-daba?"
"Any dessert in the cookhouse. Yogi would also get out of his cage and sneak over to our trailer and beg Dick for food. My son thought it was cute. I didn't. Yogi played Hell on my food budget!" Mary threw up her hands.
Mary glanced towards one of the rooms inside the lair.
"I'm surprised he's not a hunting trophy on your wall. I'd think you'd be the type to shoot a walking, talking bear."
"He hired me, I can't shoot my client, and besides, that Ranger Smith is always chasing away hunters when they try to shoot the animals."
Mary couldn't help but smile when the enormous bear walked in pushing a giant cart full of baskets.
"Thanks for everything, saving Boo-Boo and all. Please accept the finest Jellystone has offer."
Yogi stopped and sniffed. "Mrs. Grayson, is that you? I thought you were dead."
"How do you know that, Yogi?" Mary asked.
"I read the papers. You always made the best sandwiches."
"You should know, you constantly stole them," Mary laughed.
Mary could swear Yogi's "facial" expression was serious.
"You aren't supposed to be here."
"I know, Yogi, I know."
"Somebody boo boo'ed," he observed. This would normally be seen as something funny. It had been his "catch phrase" when he would perform at Haly's Circus. But in this context, he wasn't being funny.
"Yeah, and they're gonna regret it."
Yogi gave her a big hug.
"You take care of yourself, you big idiot, and please stop stealing pic-a-nic baskets. Someday, it won't end well for you," Mary gave him an affectionate head pat.
"I'll be careful, I always have been. The Pic-a-nic baskets are gifts you see."
"Sure they are. You're stupidly lucky you know."
"I know. It's very nice to see you again."
Mary went over and pulled out a bag, "This is for you, it was originally for me, but eh, why not?"
"Oh thank you!" Yogi exclaimed; clutching the bag in his teeth and prancing out with a stupid grin on his big, adorable bear face.
Slade looked at the giant stack of picnic baskets, "Serves me right for taking a gig from a bear with a necktie that sounds like Ed Norton…" Slade leaned down. "Might as well make the best of it…"
He held up the plate with the sandwich. "Liverwurst? Who the hell eats liverwurst anymore?"
Mary held up her hands in protest, "Don't look at me, I'm not gonna eat it!"
"So just what am I going to do with a bunch of liverwurst sandwiches?" Slade asked, rolling his eye.
Mary saw the newspaper and the headline: Samantha Vanaver opens new orphanage in Jump City.
"We could give it to charity," Mary suggested. "Samantha Vanaver is the Grandmaster of the Court of Owls."
Slade went and changed his clothes.
"Here," Slade handed her a dress.
Mary raised an eyebrow. "This costs about a month of my salary!"
She did think the dress was pretty, although black wasn't particularly her color.
She got changed and reentered the room. He came out dressed in a nice suit and tie. He was holding a cane in his hand.
"Is that a prop?" Mary raised an eyebrow.
"I actually need this since I'm not 100% back to normal. While we're out, call me Evan Dorsletter. And what are you going to use as your alias?'
"Elizabeth Keen," Mary replied.
"Cute," Slade smirked. It was too easy; using the name of a fictional character, all they'd get is information about The Blacklist.
"It's not a lie, Elizabeth is my middle name," Mary laughed.
They drove down to the orphanage and got out of the car. Slade was unexpectedly unbalanced and about fell over when exiting the vehicle.
Suddenly, someone caught him; he looked over and saw his nemesis in civilian clothes holding him up.
"You need some help?" Dick asked.
"No, no, I'm fine, Mr. Grayson," Slade told him.
Dick recognized his voice. He'd never seen him in bad shape before.
"My mother always told me I should help the weak and elderly," there was a hint of mocking in his voice.
"You're such a brat!" Slade snarled in a low voice.
"Now, now, Mr. Dosletter, don't be rude to him, he's only behaving the way his mother would want," Mary whispered in his ear.
"And you're a bitch!" he huffed.
"I can drop you if that's what you'd like," Dick smirked.
Dick helped his nemesis steady himself. Dick was getting a kick out of this for sure. He could see the other Titans also in civilian dress. Cyborg and Beast Boy were corpsing, trying desperately not to laugh, Starfire was laughing while covering her mouth and even Raven had an eyebrow raised in amusement.
"And who are you, sir?" Samantha Vanaver asked politely, extending her hand.
"Evan Dosletter," Slade told her.
Slade and Samantha made meaningless small talk while Dick moved over to speak to his mother in a low voice.
"Mom, why does Slade have liverwurst sandwiches?" Dick asked low enough so she could hear him.
"Yogi Bear paid him for a job in sandwiches," Mary replied.
"Slade's more likely to shoot Yogi than take a job for him," Dick scowled.
"I didn't get details, I only said hi to him when he came to pay Slade."
"How'd he get out of Jellystone Park?"
"I have no idea," Mary shrugged her shoulders.
Samantha Vanaver's voice cut into their conversation. "Why don't we eat these?"
Slade and Mary did their best attempt at not visibly cringing.
When Samantha Vanaver turned away to speak to someone else, Dick made the gesture for slitting your throat, while looking horrified.
Even Slade was uncomfortable.
They all sat down to eat.
"So who are your friends, Mr. Grayson?" Samantha Vanavver asked.
Dick pointed to them each in turn, "Kory Anders, Victor Stone, Garfield Logan, and Rachel Roth."
"This is nice of Evan Dosletter to bring us something to eat," Samantha said cheerfully.
"Yeah, on what worldline?" Garfield Logan scowled. Rachel Roth elbowed him. "Ow!"
"Hoo boy," Vic muttered loud enough for them to hear.
"Hmm," Rachel frowned.
"They look delicious!" Kory exclaimed.
"And here we go," Dick gulped.
Dick Grayson bit into his sandwich and fought the urge to puke. Yogi, you stupid bear, why'd it have to be liverwurst?!
Kory Anders ate hers and began beaming, Just like the spudflakes back home!
Garfield Logan groaned inwardly, DUDE, WHY?!
Victor Stone's internal alarms were blaring in the computerized half of his brain, DELETE, DELETE, DELETE!
Rachel Roth was nearly catatonic, Azar, I think I'm dying!
Mary Grayson forced it down, I'm gonna need another funeral!
Slade scowled, That gig I took for that bear wasn't worth this!
Samantha Vanaver was livid, I'm going to have the Court find who made these sandwiches and kill them!
They all leaned over and as covertly as possible spit out the food hoping the person next to them doesn't notice.
"This is a splendid sandwich!" Kory exclaimed; she got seven more sandwiches stacked on her plate.
After Kory finished the sandwiches, Bruce Wayne arrived and gave his heartfelt speech; Slade kept tapping his foot and checking his watch. Mary only watched with interest and kept her eyes on him. He donated a ridiculous amount of money and the crowd clapped loudly in applause.
After it was finally over, Slade told her he was going back "home". Mary told him she was going to the park to get some fresh air.
Mary walked to the park and started down a path and stopped, hearing Samantha Vanaver's voice as she spoke to someone. Mary ducked behind a tree. Her half-sister was walking alongside Bruce Wayne.
"Bruce, really, you are much different than the tabloids paint you!" Samantha Vanaver exclaimed, putting her arm around his shoulder.
Mary fought the urge to make an audible noise while cringing. She knew who Bruce Wayne was, everyone did; he was in the tabloids every other day at least with some insane rumor about his love life.
But she knew something that not many people did: Bruce Wayne was Batman. Mary knew it because Richard, Raptor had deduced his identity by stalking Dick and correlating Robin's appearance shortly after Dick Grayson had become his ward. Although she disapproved of Richard's emotional need to stalk both her and her son, he was a "different" sort of stalker. He didn't leave phone calls or notes saying that Mary needed to be with him. He had appointed himself her protector and had taken it upon himself to "follow" Dick around after her death.
"What do you mean, Samantha?" Bruce asked, curious.
"I couldn't help but admire you after I found out you took in an unfortunate child and gave him a better life," Samantha smiled. "You care about people, that's the Bruce Wayne everyone needs to see!"
Mary was seething; My son's life was not unfortunate! You do know how to stroke his ego, and I'm sure that's not the only thing you're stroking!
No doubt they were sleeping together, Bruce Wayne's reputation as a playboy preceded him for literal miles. Still, he was Batman, but Mary knew Samantha Vanaver could play the part of an angel when she wanted to, but what disgusted Mary was the idea that Samantha Vanaver might try to start a relationship with Bruce so she could become Dick's "new mommy".
Samantha Vanaver felt her phone go off, "Damn, emergency board meeting. I have to go."
"You're wrong, Samantha. Dick was not unfortunate; he had a good home and a family. They were murdered and their killer was brought to justice. I took him in because he needed someone to help him through those dark days, and I did it so he wouldn't end up…"
"End up like what?" Samantha asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"Like me," Bruce Wayne replied. "Go on, I'll catch up with you later, at dinner."
"I look forward to it," Samantha smiled.
Samantha gave him a lingering kiss that really laid it on thick. Mary decided to leave. She'd had enough of seeing her half-sister sucking up to her son's adoptive father. She heard that the papers had been finalized a few years ago but Dick had kept his surname.
Samantha blew him a kiss as she walked off.
Mary walked away from where they were and found a place to sit.
She stared up at the sky, at least it was a nice day out and she could enjoy the pleasant weather.
"It's nice out, isn't it?" a voice said right behind her ear. She looked behind her. Sitting behind her was Bruce Wayne. He wasn't looking at her. Outside of seeing him as Batman when he'd protected her family from Tony Zucco they had never met, even when he'd been at Haly's Circus for their performance.
She wondered if he knew she was alive again. She put that out of her mind. "Yes it is," Mary replied. "I rarely get to have time to myself like this."
"Sometimes it's nice to get away from my work. I prefer to be alone. Might I ask your name?"
"Marie Lloyd," Mary replied. It wasn't a lie, it was her birth name.
"Pleased to meet you. I'm Bruce—"
"I know who you are, Mr. Wayne," Mary told him simply.
"Of course you do, Miss Lloyd, I'm in the papers all the time," Bruce smiled.
"No, Bruce, I know who you really are, and the mask you wear," Mary touched his shoulder.
"And what mask is that?" Bruce Wayne asked.
"I never got to thank you for protecting us…Batman," she said it simply.
"I know who you are...Marie Lloyd Grayson. You never need to thank me…Skydancer," he smiled.
"You know about that, only two people know about that, my husband and my ex-boyfriend," Mary laughed.
"I am Batman," his face became serious. "I also know that you hate rich people. Specifically rich people who lie and break promises. I know you and your partner robbed the rich in Paris. I suppose you think I took your son in so I could treat him like a Christmas puppy."
"I would certainly hope not," Mary smiled. "I want to believe that what you told your lady friend is true."
Bruce continued to speak, "I'm not what the papers say I am. I suppose you're expecting someone a little brighter and perhaps a little more outgoing. I was a very serious child. That hasn't changed much."
"Unlike the zany madcap you are now?" Mary laughed.
She saw him smile, just a little. She wondered if he was being genuine or if this was his "Bruce Wayne" persona being charming and amicable. Still, he had admitted to being Batman, but really who was she going to tell, she'd probably get sent off to Arkham Asylum, or people would be really curious about why she was the spitting image of a famous dead acrobat.
"How do you know I won't tell your secrets, Mr. Wayne?" Mary glanced at him.
"You kept your criminal career a secret from your own son. I'm sure you'll keep my secrets too," he smiled. "Deep down I know you're a good person."
Bruce glanced over at her, "Deep down, I'm not a good person."
She laughed, "I find that funny. I'd think you'd be the first person to haul me off to jail."
"You aren't one who fits into an easy category; you aren't in it for the money or to gain wealth for yourself. My relationships with people like you are… complicated."
"You mean Catwoman? She leaves me in her dust."
Bruce smiled, "One goes on so pleasantly with women; they never show themselves in their natural form. That is to say, they are not so vain as men who conceive themselves always to be amiable enough, just as nature has produced them."
"Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, how many people actually read him?" Mary laughed.
"I have, he's interesting, to say the least. But I'm sure he's not what you want to talk to me about."
Bruce put a hand on her shoulder, "Mary, go back to your son."
Bruce stood to his feet, turning to face her. Mary followed suit, not looking at him.
"I heard you adopted him, shouldn't you call him your son?" Mary asked.
"While I have adopted him, you are still his mother," Bruce's expression was sad. "At least he can still remember you."
He glanced away from her.
"Twenty-five years... my parents murdered in front of my eyes... the wet rattle of my father's dying breath...the heavy emptiness invading my mother's dilating eyes... so long ago. Too long ago...Too long to feel the loss... or the rage...or the fear...all those things that made me... I can't remember my mother."
"You paid your dues to Gotham City, you've done so much with both sides of your life, if anyone has earned retirement, it's you."
Mary turned around to face him, she put her hand on his chest; it's a gesture she has done to John Grayson. It's an intimate and emotional gesture, albeit an unconventional one.
"It's nice of you to say so, but I won't stop until Gotham City is saved. I know you're planning something. Dick asked me not to interfere, but if you should set foot in my city, God help you."
"I understand, Batman. I understand well enough," "I will thank you for taking care of my son. I always admired you, because you actually care about people, and I'm not saying that to boost your ego. We died at your charity event, you know."
Mary leaned over and kissed his cheek, "Keep an eye on the company you keep, Mr. Wayne. People like your friend are always wearing masks."
"I've suspected that much, but you're not going to tell me, are you?"
"You're the World's Greatest Detective; you can figure it out for yourself. How do I know no one's eavesdropping on us?"
"No one's been here for hours and I've already checked the place for cameras. This conversation is just between us."
"I see, you wouldn't have confirmed your identity otherwise," Mary smiled at him. "Also, thank you, I heard you paid for my funeral."
"It was the least I could do," Bruce nodded. "Please go back to your son."
"I'm sorry, Mr. Wayne, as much as I want to, I just can't, not yet," Mary smiled. "Batman, I'm glad I was able to meet you."
"We've both looked into the abyss, so tell me, Mary, will you blink?" he asked.
"Depends on how long I keep my eyes open," Mary smiled. She turned and saw that he was gone. "That's quite the trick, isn't it?"