Endgame

Chapter Two - In Which The Rules Waver

"You want me to study her," Gary states blankly.

Brock gives him a somewhat apologetic look. "Not study so much as monitor," he replies.

"Is there a difference?" Gary mutters, and he isn't surprised when Brock can only shrug.

It's been a week since the incident with Misty. So far, she hasn't shown any signs of recognition when it comes to any of her friends, family or pokemon. It was ironic; despite being called 'amnesia', the move itself doesn't actually cause a mere lapse in memory. Rather, her entire life up until now appears to have been wiped completely.

"Look, Gary," Brock starts slowly, avoiding his gaze as best as possible, "We both know that attacks directed at humans have a contrast effect compared to when directed at other pokemon. None of us are sure just how deep this may have gone. You're the best hope we have of finding a way to reverse it."

Gary runs a hand through his hair before replying, "It's been a week, Brock. She clearly isn't going to remember any of us anytime soon. Those memories are gone."

Brock flinches and he regrets the words, even if they are the truth. The older male might as well be a sibling to Misty, something Gary supposes he should have considered before speaking so bluntly, but he isn't the one attached so the words flow without thought. He sympathises but in no way feels complied to treat this any differently than he would any other case.

"Maybe so," Brock replies, taking a moment to swallow. "But her sisters are gone and I can't be there all the time. We can't tell Ash because he'd freak out and... I don't think having him around is going to be the best thing for Misty. Not yet. You have the facilities and the equipment, not to mention the experience. I need you. Misty needs you."

The last part with so much raw desperation in his voice, and Gary remembers that Brock is her brother, too.

He isn't sure whether it's the concept of being needed or the idea of Misty needing him and not Ash Ketchum that clicks something within him, but he finds himself agreeing to Brock's plea.

Gary hasn't seen her since last year when she brought a baby vaporeon to the lab. It's always been a simple process: she rings the bell, he answers the door and very few words are exchanged before she's off on her way back to Cerulean.

Misty was the girl who had the obvious-not-obvious crush on his life-long rival and he was the sworn frenemy of said rival. Back then, she'd meant nothing to him and he'd meant nothing to her, even if it still bothers him that she made him feel envy over what she represents. Those days are long gone and they aren't children anymore, but even so he can't shake the uneasiness. Heck, she might as well not even be the same person given the circumstances.

But he's moved on from the pride and egotistical values of his childhood and she's just the girl with amnesia.

When his eyes meet her vacant ones, though, they're still the exact shade of blue that has haunted him since that first unsettling taste of everything he didn't have all those years ago.

It's weird at first, having to treat her so delicately. She'll sit and stare and look at him with curious, beautiful eyes while he tells her about things he feels he shouldn't.

Misty doesn't remember him. She doesn't remember Brock. She doesn't remember her sisters. She doesn't remember Team Rocket.

She doesn't even remember Ash.

The years she spent travelling aren't even a hazy blur and none of her pokemon seem to jog anything inside her head. Daily tasks and simple cognitive functioning remain the same as ever, but it's like the incident has erased her entire life. Her story, the traits that make Misty who she is are all gone. She's nothing more than a girl with an affliction for water-type pokemon who is unsure about the world.

She knows how to battle but she doesn't know her pokemon.

She calls every attack on reflex but she can't recall past opponents.

She can talk and behave like a normal girl but she's not because everyone is a stranger to her now- including herself -and that makes her a stranger to him, too.

"Tell me about my pokemon again," Misty requests, and Gary swallows thickly.

It is a question she asks often and yet he's still never sure how to respond. He's told her everything he can remember about all the pokemon she's ever owned; all except one. Brock advised him to avoid emotional or touchy subjects but at this current point he wants to tell her something new. It's a story he wasn't there for, but one Ash had told him about vividly during a rare visit home.

"You love all of your pokemon, each one is a water-type," Gary recites for the third time that week. "There was one that was special, though. You hatched it from an egg back on your travels with Ash and Brock. Its name was Togepi. It thought you were its parent because you were the first thing it saw when it came out of its egg."

Misty listens in awe, and for the first time since he's started looking after her there is something other than the disengaged, glazed stare he's used to.

"The only attack it ever really learned was Metronome because back then Togepi was a relatively new species. You carried it everywhere, but when you weren't holding it Ash's pikachu would be the babysitter," he recounts, finding that telling the story secondhand was surprisingly easy despite the lack of information he had.

Misty allows herself a small smile. "Where is Togepi now? Is it at the Gym in Cerulean?"

Gary's composure falters and she picks up on it. When he tells her the tale of the Mirage Kingdom and how she had no choice but to say goodbye to the pokemon that had become like a child to her, she comes close to shedding a tear.

"Everyone felt the loss, especially Pikachu. Ash couldn't perk him up for weeks after that," Gary finishes.

"Ash..." Misty murmurs, and Gary feels himself tense. "You mention him a lot. Brock does, too, but he never really talks about him."

Gary only nods, well aware of Misty's questionable gaze.

"Who is he, exactly?"

The sentence sounds foreign and so completely wrong that Gary feels nauseous.

This Misty Waterflower was not in love with Ash Ketchum. She wouldn't understand. Really, Gary still hasn't decided whether this factor is a blessing or a curse.

It was a subject himself and Brock had both agreed to not elaborate on. If Misty didn't remember Ash then it would only hurt more when they told her he didn't come home. Really, what was the worth in telling her something that had caused her so much pain in the past? She would want to know why he never stopped by to visit. It was impossible to speak about one thing without spilling everything and that meant... he'd have to explain why Ash never came back.

He doesn't want to do that.

But the worst part was that she wouldn't remember loving him, and a Misty that knew Ash and did not idolise him was not a Misty Waterflower at all.

It gets easier.

Times passes and things become less awkward, less tense, and soon enough it becomes almost routine.

Misty is less determined to push him away and allows him to be a part of her life. He doesn't mention how he treated her as children. For that matter, he never mentions much about their childhood. Instead, he focuses on making new memories for her, new memories with her. It starts out innocent, really it does.

It doesn't take long before she turns into much more than just the girl with amnesia.

But she also isn't the girl who travelled with Ash.

She is, except she isn't because to her it never happened. Now she's the girl the Oak kid spends all of his time with, the girl he tries to build a new life for, the girl he desperately wants to keep sheltered and far away from the looming past that threatens this new development. Gary sees what Ash saw in her all those years ago.

Gary doesn't know when it became less about protecting her and more about protecting what he's found through her. She's Misty except she's not and some small, twisted part of him feels a sick pleasure in having a piece of her that Ash won't, even if this isn't the girl either of them knew.

It's a cruel twist of fate, Gary knows bitterly, that after so many years of being terrified that Ash would forget her it was she who forgot him.

It's even crueller that he finds himself divulging in the borrowed time he knows isn't meant for them. On some level he'd always wished to have what Ash did but not like this. Never, ever like this. He'd wanted Ash to hurt and have it all taken away and have it to himself instead but whywhywhy did the universe have to make everything so easy but impossible at the same time?

The worst part, perhaps, is that this Misty Waterflower isn't in love with Ash Ketchum.

Gary still hasn't decided whether that's a blessing or a curse. He feels relieved, but there's always something gnawing at the back of his mind and screaming that this is not right. It shouldn't be like this. He shouldn't want it to be like this.

He doesn't know what he wants anymore.

Misty was made for Ash and he knows it, tells himself over and over again like a mantra, yet can't stop from relishing every moment he spends with the girl who doesn't remember a time before this. He doesn't know whether he prefers it this way or not. She's different, yet she's still Misty. She acts the way she did before only without the memories and tales of Ash carrying out some heroic deed or other.

She gets it. Gets him in ways Gary didn't even know he'd been longing for.

A part of him wishes she could be the same Misty with liquid fire in her eyes from all those years ago, but then he hates himself for knowing that he is mourning a loss that never belonged to him in the first place. An entire chunk of her life is missing, completely gone and all he wants to do is replace it with the present. Gary knows he can never even began to compare but then again, there's nothing to compare it to.

Not anymore. It's wrong and selfish and so, so unfair on her but he isn't ready to begin trying to give any of it up.

For the first time in his life someone is listening. She's giving him exactly what she gave Ash, minus the love and devotion.

Gary can't bring himself to care to differentiate between the two.

So instead he pushes these thoughts to the back of his mind and presents her with two hot chocolates with vanilla, whipped cream and a half a brownie set over the rim of each mug. He knows it isn't much, but it's special to him because that's what his mother used to make before everything went awry. Gary figures that if she's rationing her entire life with him, it's the least he can do for her.

It's become somewhat of a tradition for them; he'll make the drinks and then they'll stay awake until the sun creeps up on the horizon.

He shares parts of her past and then she'll ask him something in return.

Nobody has ever really cared before. Nobody other than his Gramps and Leaf, but his Gramps is getting old and Leaf is still isolating herself up on Mount Silver, so Gary takes what he can get. It's nice to have someone who can understand him. Someone who actually tries and enjoys making the effort to understand him. The fleeting guilt disappears halfway through his drink and he forgets about Ash and Misty and who they're supposed to be and how he isn't supposed to be in the picture, either.

In these moments they are just Gary and Misty. There is no one else. No Ash Ketchum.

"Guess I just want to be appreciated," Gary tells her one night. "I want to be recognised for my accomplishments, not the one's that come with my grandfather's name."

The Misty he once knew would have compared it to how she felt about her sisters, but this one doesn't. Instead, she offers him a smile and takes another sip of her drink.

And although she says nothing, Gary feels that she understands more than anyone.

"Everyone just compares me to him. When I do something, it's because I'm 'the grandson of the genius Professor Oak'. When I start a project, it's, 'he'd better not let the Oak name down'," Gary continues, clenching his mug tighter. "It's never about me. It's always about the name; it's not me who is great, only the title is."

"On the contrary, I think you're rather wonderful."

It gets harder.

notes:

Special thanks to those that reviewed! For the guests who I am unfortunately unable to message privately, here's your response :)

Eevee: Ah, I can't give you a proper response without spoiling the ending (or the rest of the story, really), but there will definitely be a lot more insight in regards to Gary. Me too! Brock was a part of their original trio, but Ash and Misty generally take the spotlight in most cases. I also feel like he'd still play a pretty large role in Misty's life. As for Leaf... Well, you'll have to wait and see :P

Guest: It's a little less cliche than that, but it's impossible for me to agree or disagree with you publicly because that'd spoil the story. Hopefully you'll like it, though!