Endgame
Chapter Four - In Which The King Plays His Hand
Ash isn't sure what to feel.
He's angry, for one. Angry at Brock and angry at Gary for not telling him anything, but mostly he's infuriated with himself for not being here. He knows it's his fault for not coming back, for never visiting her once in the six years he's been travelling other regions. He's crushed and devastated and completely heartbroken because this is Misty Waterflower, and she's his best friend but now she's not-
but to him she still is and always will be.
It makes no sense and it only confuses him more.
But at this current point in time it's easier to hold the other two accountable, because between the mass of jumbled thoughts and accepting his own stupidity- and taking in the fact that he's also lost an entire part of his life even though he left it behind -there just isn't enough room left to think clearly. It's just easier.
When she looks at him her gaze is just so completely empty. She looks confused as well, but Ash has no idea how to even begin explaining things to her. This whole situation is a mess. He has himself to blame for that, too, but right now that vague look in her eyes keeps on lodging the words in his throat. How was one meant to introduce themselves to someone they've known for half of their life, anyway?
Thankfully, he doesn't have to because she ends up being the one to break the ice.
"It's nice to finally meet you," Misty tells him quietly, not missing the way he winces.
Meet him. That's right. To her, they've never actually seen each other. Not in person, anyway, and he knows it's not her fault but it still hurt. She knows him... knew him? It's still too much to wrap his head around. But she is supposed to know him better than anyone, besides Brock of course, and yet she's saying that it's nice to finally meet him.
It is not a pleasant feeling at all.
He swallows thickly before replying, "Yeah. I'm sorry it couldn't have been sooner. I came as soon as Brock called and-"
"This isn't your fault, Ash. Please don't blame yourself," Misty interjects, and he finds his heart breaking all over again.
It is his fault. He should have been here. He's five months late, and now that he can finally do something he doesn't even know where to start. She's the victim in all of this and yet it's her apologising to him.
He stares at her like she isn't real, and while Misty is slightly uncomfortable she can't say that she blames him. He knows everything about her, or at least the person she should be, and she's supposed to know every last detail about him but she doesn't. She looks the same and sounds the same but she isn't. That's the hardest part, Ash thinks, because she's still Misty but she's not his Misty.
"How much do you know about me?" Ash asks hesitantly. He doesn't fail to see the way she shark-eyes and shuffles in her seat.
"Well..." Misty bites her lip, pausing momentarily before speaking again, "they told me we travelled a lot as kids."
Ash's heart sinks.
The disappointment is quickly replaced with spite, though, because first they keep this bombshell of a crisis from him and now he finds out they didn't even tell her how much she meant to him? How close they were? How they never once separated for three years straight, and the only reason she isn't still by his side is because of her stupid, selfish sisters?
A dark thought of criticism crosses his mind, but he quickly pushes out the logic that this never would have happened had she not have received the phone call that tore her away from him. It wouldn't have, not with him being around to protect her, but he has to remind himself that he's also the one that never came back to check up on her.
Misty continues quickly, "Their intentions were good, I think they were just trying to make the process easier for me. I found some of my old diaries, though. I read through most of the them. You're my best friend, right?"
He feels something akin to hope rise in his chest as opposed to draining away. His signature lopsided grin involuntarily grows and he doesn't want to hold it back.
"That's right," Ash confirms hastily, trying hard to keep the excitement from creeping into his voice. "I used to tell you it was dumb to keep a diary. Never thought I'd pin my life on yours."
"They were pretty detailed," Misty admits with a small laugh.
Ash laughs too, but then his smile fades. "But you don't remember any of it, do you?"
Her face falls and he regrets it for a moment, but they both know it's pointless to avoid truth. "I'm sorry, Ash. I wish I did, but..." she trails off, unsure what else is left to say that they both don't already know.
"Don't be," Ash comforts her, still smiling. "You'll always be my Misty."
It comes out differently to how he intends it to, but Ash can't bring himself to rephrase the sentence. It feels right and it sounds right, and he's always gone with his gut when it comes to everything he ever does. She looks surprised but not horrified or uneasy. The atmosphere doesn't become immediately awkward so he thinks it's the right thing to say.
"Even if I all I have are written memories of you, I still feel like you're the one person I don't have to be guarded around. Like you won't hide anything from me," Misty admits.
And truly, he wont. He owes her that much. She deserves to know everything about herself, and he'll tell her absolutely anything Brock and Gary and every other person has neglected to mention.
Ash chuckles. "That's how it's always been with us, Mist."
"If it's not too much to ask for, I'd really like to bring the person on those pages to life," Misty requests, and Ash doesn't dare ask for anything more.
It might not be what he'd hoped for, but it was enough.
Ash is nothing like she was expecting.
It is this reason that she panics, because the Ash Ketchum that was brash and reckless and infuriating isn't this boy. He isn't really a boy anymore, but she isn't sure what to classify him as because the age of sixteen is somewhere between the awkward transition of man and kid. He's careful with her. Gentle. Never takes her beyond the second hill outside the lab, but he also isn't afraid to speak of everything Brock and Gary wouldn't.
She appreciates that he doesn't treat her like glass. She isn't going to break and nobody seems to get that except for him.
If anything, he's only afraid of her reaction.
He doesn't seem to mind making himself vulnerable when it comes to her, though, and that's the part that confuses her the most.
Misty finishes the diaries exactly nineteen days after Ash makes the decision to stay. It feels strange to discover herself through her own writing, but she finds all of the questions she was unable to answer previously become clear as the pages continue to turn.
She learns all about the mysterious boy whom everyone loves yet avoids like the plague when it comes to her. She hates having to fill in the blanks for herself, especially since there were no blanks because her memory didn't contain gaps, only a massive portion she wouldn't even know wasn't there if they didn't tell her it was gone, but she needs to know more about him.
Ash Ketchum in the flesh was nothing like the boy who made her ignite with a passion to strive to achieve her dreams. She feels like she shouldn't be judging because she isn't his Misty even if he thinks she is, even if he doesn't feel like her Ash, but what difference does she know? The diaries only ever speak of him being compassionate towards her twice; once before her performance during the Whirl Cup Tournament and once more when they parted ways forever.
And she knows it's useless but she can't help but try to force herself to remember even though it's impossible.
There isn't anything blocking those memories. They're just gone.
Misty knows this hurts him, too. So much more than it frustrates her.
It's everything she used to have but still has, except she doesn't because she can't even remember what she's supposed to be missing.
Despite all of that, it's nice having him here. He's patient with her and kind, and he shares so much about the world that she's never seen. Or maybe she has, she just doesn't remember. For example, tonight Ash chooses to introduce her- was it really an introduction if she was there when it happened? -to his bulbasaur. Bypassing the field of endless tauros that Gary never even let her anywhere near, Ash steers her towards a smaller area.
"We first met Bulbasaur because of you, ya know," Ash begins, easing the seed pokemon over to them gently. "You tried to capture a wild oddish but Bulbasaur here rushed to its aid."
Misty smiles at the sound the pokemon makes, turning it into a grin when it nudges her with its head for further petting.
Ash watches with a certain fondness and continues, "We ended up in a hidden village where Team Rocket tried to steal the pokemon living there. Bulbasaur helped us save them all, and in the end decided to come with us. Bulbasaur was with us for a really long time after that. He resisted evolution, just like Pikachu. You even battled with him once for the Queen of the Princess Festival."
As the sky fades to black and the stars start to appear, Misty finds herself feeling more at home than she ever has before. Ash is sweet, and not once does he get annoyed with her for not remembering the tiniest details to the most important ones. She has no memories of anything he talks about, but unlike everyone else he makes her feel special. She can picture the stories perfectly. She's there now even if she can't remember it, because she knows she was a part of it once before.
She feels like she knows him just a little bit more, and through that she finds a small piece of herself to go with it.
Somewhere along the line Misty ends up inside because Ash said he had a surprise for her, so she thought it would be a good chance to get them something to eat seeing as they weren't coming back inside anytime soon. She grabs one blanket and one pillow, then moves to the kitchen where she is surprised to find Gary waiting.
"I see nothing's changed," Gary remarks quietly, and Misty isn't sure whether it's one of those things he does when he blocks away the rest of the world or just a casual observation based on her past with Ash.
She can't decide, so instead she laughs and grabs a plate of fried chicken from the fridge. "He's certainly easy to talk to," Misty replies.
"You aren't disappointed? Is he what you thought he'd be?"
She shakes her head. "Not at all. Ash is... Well, he's Ash. You can't really describe him. But I can't say I'd want him to be any different," Misty says honestly.
Gary only nods, as if it was the answer he'd been expecting.
She can't read him very well and it's like he's closed off, but at the same time this is no different to how he's always been. When she turns to leave he stops her and moves aside to reveal the reason he'd been in the kitchen before she walked in. She almost feels wrong because she's not sharing it with him, but only hesitates for a brief moment before grabbing two straws; one yellow and one blue.
She takes the hot chocolate with vanilla, whipped cream and half a brownie on the side before slipping back outside into Ash's waiting arms.
"Pikachupi?"
"Why didn't you tell her the first thing about me?" Ash demands, eyes burning through the two men on the other side of the room.
"You weren't around, Ash. We didn't want to have to fill her mind with you only to watch it break when you didn't come back," Gary remarks, casual tone only causing Ash's rage to spike.
"What Gary is trying to say," Brock cuts in before Ash has the chance, "is that it was hard enough having to try to rebuild her life from scratch. You meant a lot to Misty, Ash, and it would only confuse her more. She'd want to know why you haven't been around for the past three years."
The sharp jolt that courses through Ash's chest is less then pleasant, his anger slowly ebbing away as it's replaced with shame. He could be as angry as he liked with them but that didn't change the fact that they were right. Gary forces himself to keep his mouth shut but makes no effort to remove the smug grin from his face.
"Is there any chance at all of her regaining her memories back?" Ash asks quietly.
Brock shakes his head. "I've had Gary looking into it for months. Professor Oak, too. I'm sorry Ash. Under normal circumstances her memories would have returned by now, or at the very least some of them. But Misty still claims that she feels like nothing is missing," he answers, remorse present in his tone.
The utter despair that is so damn evident on Ash's face almost makes Gary feel sorry for him. Almost.
"We think it's due to the pokemon being under mega-evolution at the time of the attack," Gary states, needing to get out of his own head. "There isn't anything we can do."
A pregnant silence falls over the room and Gary can practically hear Ash's heart breaking.
Eventually, Brock speaks up, "Misty really didn't remember anything about you? Nothing clicked at all?"
Ash shakes his head and Gary can't stop the swell of satisfaction that rises in his chest. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing," Ash replies quietly. "She only knows what she's read about in her diaries, but none of that sparked anything either. Her memories are really gone, Brock... What am I supposed to do?"
"What diaries?" Gary asks before he has time to think it over.
Ash eyes him warily. "She documented the entire time we spent travelling together," he says, not missing the way Gary's expression hardens.
Brock perks up immediately, a grin stretching across his face. "That's great, Ash! So even if she can't remember, she still knows everything that went on in that time?"
"Yeah. No thanks to the two of you," Ash mutters bitterly.
"We did what we thought would be better for her," Gary bites out in annoyance. "You have a chance to make things right. Don't screw it up."
Ash glances outside to where Misty pulls Pikachu closer to her chest, tears softly glistening in her eyes.
"Believe me," Ash manages to choke out, "I won't. Not this time."
Guest review replies:
Modern Kassandra: Hi again! Thanks for your review. I'm trying to get as much depth as possible with Gary while not making the story entirely about him romance. Still, what you said about one-shots is so right. I don't read many anymore, but from the little I've seen with the GaryxAshxMisty triangle it's just... It just usually isn't detailed or he's sorta stuck on the sidelines. Or he's a included for a moment of brief asshole-induced drama and then tossed away.
Guest (the first one): Glad you liked that, I wanted to write insight on Gary's progression in regards to how Misty was just that girl and now she's becoming something more.
Guest (the second one): Huehuehue, that's all part of the mystery. I'm trying to take a more realistic spin on how things would go. Not just Point A to Point B in one chapter. Thanks for your review!