Endgame
Chapter Six - In Which the Ace Is Priceless
There is an unspoken agreement that nobody talks about the past in any way that could affect Misty negatively.
'Nobody' meant Gary and Ash, and 'unspoken agreement' meant that Brock had made it clear that when it came to personal feelings they just needed to shut up and deal with it, because she was not ready.
Now that everything is out in the open- or almost, because she doesn't really know everything yet -Brock isn't quite sure how to proceed.
The easiest way is to just get Ash to spend as much time with Misty as possible, and Mew knows the two deserved it. He doesn't think he'll ever be able to forgive himself for listening to Daisy and Gary. Keeping Ash a secret was foolish, especially for such a long time. What makes matters worse is that Misty found out on her own.
He'd never lied to her, he always made sure of that.
They'd just never told her the whole truth; still haven't. Not even Ash knows that she was in love with him, once upon a time. It would not be a fair revelation.
Then again, almost everyone else does.
Then again, nothing about this is fair. Not to any of them.
But he knows that Ash deserves more time with Misty than anyone, and he's already guessing that he'll leave soon. Brock notices the way the boy itches for adventure. It's a part of who he is. If history is any reference, Ash will be gone before the week is up. He'll be back, though. This time they'll all make sure of that.
He knows that Ash blames himself for what happened and although Brock is aware the accident was nobody's fault, it wasn't out of the question to believe that had any of them been there then it might not have came to pass. If Ash had come back at all it might not have came to be. But none of them can undo what has been done and so getting Ash to share as much of his time and memories as possible would have to suffice.
Brock can't help but smile when he sees them interact. Misty snuggling up with Pikachu on the couch while Ash goes through his Pokedex is something that warms his heart, even if it dulls a little when he sees Gary in the corner watching them with an emotion in his eyes he cannot decipher. It's a horrible feeling, experiencing secondhand jealousy, but it isn't something that can be avoided.
Gary put himself in this mess. Just like Ash put himself in it as well, and he's doing everything he can to make it right.
Maybe they can't bring Misty's memories back, but h thinks they can relive part of their first journey for that one afternoon.
Ash stares at her from beside Brock and wonders how he could have been such an idiot.
Throughout all his travels, everything that he's gained and lost, there have always been only two constant things that he's known. Two factors that have always remained, without a doubt, absolute fact.
The first is that he loves pokemon, and one day he was going to storm the League and take the title of Pokemon Champion.
The second is that Misty Waterflower has always been more than just his best friend, even when he hadn't a clue what feelings were.
It started as a simple crush at the very best. Now it is something so much more. Being out here with her, Brock and Pikachu, he knows this is where he belongs. Where they belong. He despises the fact that they kept this from him for so long, kept her from him, but really, he doesn't blame them. Because while Gary had been an idiot, at least his heart was in the right place.
He'd only wanted to protect Misty and give her a pain free life. He didn't want the burden of her emotions to weigh her down anymore. When he thinks about it, Ash can't say that his long-time friend-slash-rival was entirely wrong.
He loathes Gary for being so selfish and he feels like a hypocrite.
So while he can try blaming Gary for all that happened with Misty, deep down he knows that it's his own fault for never being there. He'd meant to go see her, he really did. But there was always a new place to explore or a new pokemon to discover or an evil organisation to thwart. It had never been his intention to cast her aside. These things just found him. Now that he's here, though... With Misty, everything just feels so right.
He'd never let her pay for his mistakes again. Not anymore.
"So this is where you stole her bike from, huh?"
"Ash Ketchum, my diaries said that you still haven't replaced that!"
"And here, Misty, is where Ash first attempted to battle a caterpie against a pidgeotto," Brock recounts, much to the embarrassment of Ash.
"...You tried sending a bug type out against a flying type?"
"You didn't even like Caterpie!"
"Ash Ketchum! You have so gotten us lost!" Misty's screech practically echoes off of every tree in the forest.
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
Brock hides his smile and despite it all, for that one afternoon nothing has changed.
When they walk through the front door like nothing has changed, Gary resists the urge to just leave and never look back because it's all smiles and laughter. It's amazing how Ash has one afternoon with her and it's like he's twelve again. If he was on the outside looking in it was almost as if none of this had ever happened.
He supposes that in a way he always has been. It's even worse when Ash stays behind while Misty and Brock move to another room.
"I saw you with her earlier. You looked happy," Ash tells him.
He does not want to talk to the boy with the pikachu. The boy with everything.
"It doesn't matter whether I am or not. We both know I've only been temporary," Gary replies, shooting him down instantly. The words sting them both, and it hurts so much more than it should when he says them aloud. He knows it is pointless to dance around the truth though, and it is something he finds himself wishing he'd realised sooner.
The way his chest constricts and throat closes up and eyes burn is something he will never get used to.
Ash is silent. He watches the stars, and Gary briefly wonders whether Ash hates him as much as he hates himself.
"Don't say that, you know it isn't true," Ash says.
He hates himself even more for knowing he wouldn't change a thing.
"You don't need to sugar coat it. I won't deny that I tried to prolong her finding out, and it's even more useless to pretend that she was the only one I did it for," Gary admits.
He watches Ash clench his jaw, then the realisation that he doesn't blame him hits home harder that he'd like it to. It makes him bitter, because for once why couldn't the moron just let go of his morals and stop being pure and big-hearted Ash fucking Ketchum?
Ash speaks up again when he won't, "I'm leaving again."
Gary can't stop himself from laughing. It's even worse when he picks up on the guilt in his voice, but then he sees what Ash is trying to do.
He's giving him a chance.
"Of course you are," Gary replies. Even with the way things are now, Ash still couldn't stop the call of the unknown. He needed it, craved it more than life itself.
Playing the game of love is a dangerous one indeed. Gary knows his time is nearly up. When a queen is in your hand, you play carefully. You make each move with caution. He's fully aware that he's been dealing and placing down cards that were never meant to be in his hand to begin with.
"I'll come back once a month for a week," Ash adds, like it makes a difference.
It's just enough but it also never will be. It doesn't help that it's more than he ever came back before. Gary speaks again before Ash can get the chance, "I hope you know that it won't change anything."
"Why not?" Ash challenges, and Gary almost feels bad for him. Even through all of this, after all that they've both done, he's still trying to give him a chance with her. It's one of Ash's more redeemable traits, and Gary thinks he might hate him just a little bit more for that.
The offer is tempting. It's right there, and it can be his for the taking. For one fleeting moment he's tempted to do it. To tell Ash to go and never come back, claim what's never rightfully been his, but then he thinks of Misty.
He thinks of Misty, and the smile reserved for him and only him when they shared conversations over hot chocolates with vanilla, whipped cream and a half a brownie.
He thinks of Misty, and how the sobs will wrack her body and tears will flow from her eyes if Ash Ketchum does not return.
He is fully aware of his place; he's known it for a long time now.
"Because even with her memory gone it's crystal clear that the only person who ever had a shot is you."
Ash falls silent once more, and when Gary glances over he sees years of history that he wishes could be erased. He knows it's selfish and he knows it's stupid, but it's times like these when he wills more than anything to be the one in Misty's place instead.
He doesn't even deserve that, he supposes. Not after what he's done to her.
"Gary... Misty wouldn't be where she is without you. You know that, right?" Ash tells him, but the words meant for comfort only feel like swords.
He laughs bitterly. "I did what anyone would do. Then it got personal. You shouldn't be grateful to me, you know."
He can almost feel Ash wince, but they both know it's true. If he had anything to say about it, Misty would still be happily oblivious in the Cerulean Gym. The unspoken words hang between them:
If I had a choice she would never have even known your name.
"If it weren't for you she might be in another region living another life," Ash pointed out.
Gary knows he has no place in a love triangle built for two. He doesn't know how, but he thinks that Ash would have managed to find a way back into her life. He is like a magnet to Misty Waterflower in that way. No amount of hidden secrets and hot chocolates with vanilla, whipped cream and a half a brownie could fix that. Nor could they remedy what he's done.
"Sometimes I wish she was," Gary says quietly. "And if it weren't for those diaries and Brock, she'd be different too."
For a moment, Gary briefly envisions a white picket fence around a house in Cerulean. There's a lab down the road and two children in the yard, and Ash Ketchum is nowhere in sight. Then the vision shatters, because dreams are fictions and this is reality, and there is no reality in which Misty Waterflower and himself will ever have that happy ending.
Ash chooses to ignore his last sentence.
"There's something I need to know, Gary," Ash starts slowly, and continues when he doesn't get a response, "how do you feel about her?"
Gary tenses. There's a lot of uneasy ground between the two of them, and thus far they'd managed to avoid treading on any of it. Things worked because emotions stayed out of conversations, and they stopped working when they unearthed themselves into situations where they didn't belong. That's the reason they were in their current situation, after all.
"You already know the answer to that," Gary replies. "Either way, it doesn't make a difference; hearing it out loud won't make it better."
Ash gets it. Gary doesn't know whether that makes him feel better or not, and decides that it doesn't matter. Either way, when all is said and done, he's made his decision because the universe made it for him a long time ago.
"I'm sorry," Ash says quietly.
Gary stares up at the sky for a moment, wondering exactly which star in the sky Misty is to the raven haired boy that stole everything from him. He then turns around and walks away, speaking one final sentence before ending their conversation.
"It's your turn, Ash."
The metaphor goes unmentioned, but Ash understands it either way. He wishes he didn't.
So, funny story: I wrote this entire fic a year ago. The reason I stopped updating was because of this chapter, because it wasn't originally in the story but I felt like I needed to add something extra. There just needed to be something more to connect the whole thing together so it didn't feel like it jumped from one thing to another.
Before I knew it a year had passed and I was like "..." so I polished what I had, and prepared it for posting.
Aaaaaand then I kinda accidentally deleted it?
So I had to rewrite the whole damn thing but there are only two more chapters after this so it'll be done within the month.
Whoops?