"Promise you won't do anything rash," I caution my boyfriend.
"Damn it!" he yells, dropping my hands. "I knew I shouldn't leave you alone with that jerk."
"I'm okay," I soothe.
Eric drops to the floor of the train car, pulling me onto his lap.
"Tell me what happened," he says mournfully, burying his face in my shoulder.
I tell him the whole story, how the Erudite leader separated me from my brother, about lunch, Dr. Marshall's comment about my backside, and his suggestion that he would give us access to an aptitude testing computer in exchange for sex.
Eric growls - a deep, angry, mournful noise that breaks my heart. "I'm so sorry, Tris," he breathes, nuzzling into my neck. "I should have insisted on staying with you."
"Eric," I say cautiously, "remember what I said about being well-trained?"
Eric nods against my neck.
"I broke his nose."
Eric's head snaps up and he looks at me with shock.
"For real? You broke his nose?"
"Yeah," I confess. "I think it's pretty bad. There was a loud crunch and a lot of blood."
"Then what?" he asks. "When I came in you were sitting around chatting with your brother like nothing happened."
"Well, after I broke his nose I told him to never touch me again, then I informed him that he would be sending us an aptitude testing machine for one day so we could find out how effective our training is by comparing aptitudes before and after training. Erudite gets no reports and no information from the tests, and Caleb is to be one of the people delivering it so I can see him again. In exchange, I told him he can make up whatever story he wants about his broken nose, and then I called for Caleb to get help."
Eric pulls back sharply. "You let him get away with that in exchange for a day with the aptitude computer? That's it?"
I shrug, "I got what I wanted, and I don't have to go through another trial. I'm sick of being the victim, Eric. I broke the man's nose; he's been punished."
Eric stands up abruptly, setting me on my feet, then turns his back to me. For a few seconds I just stand there and stare at his tense back. Suddenly Eric roars as he throws a punch at the wall of the train car. The loud bang shakes me to my core. I jump back and begin to tremble. I've never seen Eric this angry. He continues throwing punches at the metal wall, yelling curses and roaring in anger. I back slowly away from him, standing as close to the open door as I safely can.
We're almost to Dauntless, so I decide to get out of there as fast as possible by taking the first exit onto the roof. Without a word to Eric, I leap off the train and cross the roof. He doesn't follow me. I think I surprised him by getting off the train at the roof exit. From here I can take either the door to the stairs or I can jump into the net. The door is locked, so I walk to the ledge and drop into the net. I feel the familiar flip of my stomach as I fall, but there is no joy in the jump today.
I crawl out of the net and leave the room, slinking my way through the compound to the leadership offices. When I arrive, Kyle greets me and asks how my meeting went.
"We need an emergency staff meeting," I say in a small voice. I'm still shaking, and I don't want to talk about what happened. I know Dr. Marshall made a deal with me, but I don't trust him, so our leadership team needs to know the truth.
Alarmed, Kyle grabs his phone handset and begins notifying my fellow leaders. I let myself in to the office wing and head for the small conference room where we hold staff meetings.
Veronica rushes into the room. "Are you okay?" she asks, alarmed.
"I'm fine," I assure her, but I don't lift my gaze from the tabletop.
Harrison walks in behind her. "Where is Eric?" he asks.
"I don't know," I say. "Last time I saw him he was throwing punches at the wall of a train car. He might still be there, or in a training room raging at a heavy bag. We should probably check the infirmary, too."
Harrison nods and quickly leaves. Veronica takes the seat beside me and rubs my back as I drop my head onto my arms and sob. That's how Max finds us a minute later.
He curses loudly. "What happened? Where's Eric?" he yells.
Veronica shushes him as Harrison comes back into the room.
"He's in the infirmary," he informs us. "Nothing is broken, but there's a pretty good cut on his hand, so they're stitching it up."
"Who is in the infirmary?" Max roars. I hear fear in his voice as well as frustration.
I raise my head and look at my boss. "Eric is. He freaked out on the way back from Erudite and started throwing punches at the metal wall of a train car."
"What happened?" Veronica asks softly. "What did Dr. Marshall say that got Eric so riled up?"
"That my ass looks 'spectacular' in these pants," I grumble, "and that he would loan us a testing machine if I had sex with him."
Max jumps to his feet, ready for a fight.
"Woah," says Harrison, putting a hand on Max's shoulder to calm him. "He said that in front of Eric?"
I shake my head. "He separated us. We thought it was okay since my brother would be with me, but then Marshall sent Caleb away, too. I didn't tell Eric about it until we were on the train coming back."
"What about Marshall?" asks Max.
"Um, I kind of broke his nose," I admit.
Harrison laughs and Veronica pulls me into a side hug.
Max sighs wearily, "I'll go call Candor. We're going to need a lawyer."
"Actually, no," I say, reaching out to stop Max from leaving. "I made a deal with him. He doesn't come after me for hurting him, and I won't go after him for harassment. Plus he has to give us an aptitude machine for a day."
"Why do we want an aptitude testing machine?" Veronica asks.
"It was an idea Eric and I had," I use the same story I told in Erudite. "We want to see how effective Dauntless training is by comparing people's aptitudes now to their aptitudes from when they were sixteen. We figure if our training is really effective then those who didn't get an aptitude for Dauntless initially should have one now."
"You let him off the hook for access to an aptitude test machine?" asks Max, looking at me as if I've lost my mind.
I start shaking and crying again.
"That's why Eric freaked out, isn't it?" asks Harrison. All I can do is nod in response.
Max marches out of the meeting room, slamming the door against the wall. Harrison just stands there, dumbfounded.
"I'll go check on Eric," he finally says.
I just want to go home. I'm exhausted from the long and emotionally-draining day, but I'm scared to run into Eric. I know he's angry with me for letting Dr. Marshall get off so easily. I get it. But I don't think he understands how much I want to avoid another trial at Candor and facing the scorn of the Abnegation council, including my own father and Tobias' abuser. I don't need that kind of scrutiny. I handled it. I broke the man's nose for goodness sake. He won't be bothering me again.
I wipe my eyes and ask Veronica if she can walk me home. She agrees, and we get back to my apartment without incident. Eric has a key, so the lock on the door won't keep him away. I slide the chain lock into place and contemplate pushing furniture against it as well. If he's still in a rage like he was on the train and he really wants to get in, the flimsy chain won't put up much of a fight. But I'm too tired, so I just remove my boots and vest and roll up in a blanket on the couch.
I must fall asleep, because the next thing I know I'm waking up to the sound of my door rattling on the chain.
"Tris?" Eric calls through the small opening in the door. "Are you there? Are you okay?"
"Go away, Eric," I groan.
"Please, Baby," he pleads, "talk to me. I'm not angry anymore. I'm not angry with you."
I cross to the door, which is open about two inches, all that the chain will allow. I slide down the wall and sit next to the opening. On the other side of the door Eric sees me through the crack and does the same, leaning on the door and facing me through the small opening. We sit together, the door between us, and for a few minutes we're quiet. Eric's fingers inch through the small opening until they're touching mine, and I don't pull away.
"Did you really break his nose?" he asks.
"Yes," I say quietly. "First I elbowed him in the gut, then when he persisted I slammed the heel of my hand into his nose. It wasn't pretty, but it got my point across."
"I'm really proud of you," he says quietly. "I was so upset at myself for letting that jerk separate us. I feel so stupid for falling for it. Add that to the fact that we were in that position because of me asking around about the testing machine, and I just feel so responsible. I let him hurt you. I let you down, Tris, and I just keep thinking about what could have happened."
"But it didn't," I say. "I defended myself. I didn't let him do anything to me."
"You did," he admits, "but I still think he needs to be held accountable for what he did to you. We can't have guys like that leading our city. He should pay for it and not be in a position where he can hurt anyone else."
"I know," I say, my voice little more than a whisper. "But I can't go through that again. Another trial, another round of being the victim. I can't face my father and Marcus and the rest of the council. I just can't do it!" My voice raises and I'm nearly yelling by the time I finish talking, and I'm crying again. Eric strokes my fingers through the opening in the door as I sob.
"Baby, can I come in?" he pleads.
I hesitate. "You really scared me today," I choke out between sobs. "You lost it on the way home. I thought you were going to hurt yourself, or me, or go back to Erudite and do something you would regret for the rest of your life."
"I would never hurt you," he insists, "no matter how angry I was. I was angry with myself for putting you in that position, and I was angry with Marshall for being an asshole. I was even angry with Four for asking you to get access to the test. I just had to take a swing at something I couldn't hurt before I said something I would regret."
I nudge the door and reach up and slide the chain lock free. The door flies open and Eric tumbles into my apartment. He rights himself and scoots close to me, wrapping me tightly in his arms. He pulls back once my sobs have quieted, and takes my face gently in his hands.
Looking into my eyes, he says, "I love you Tris. I love you so much."
I smile shyly. "I love you too, Eric."
He grins broadly at my words and crashes his lips into mine in a passionate kiss.
.
xxxx
.
Caleb calls the next day to tell us that he and a scientist named Cara will be bringing the test computer on Friday. Cara is Will's sister; we met on visiting day. I call down to the infirmary and get him part of the day off on Friday so he can see her.
Eric and I start pouring over the recent aptitude test results of our members. We're looking for people who got a result other than Dauntless but chose the faction anyway. There are surprisingly few. Al, Myra, and I were the only ones in my initiate class. My result was manually entered as Abnegation, Al tested Amity, and Myra tested Erudite, her home faction. I know she chose Dauntless to be with Edward, but I wonder what made Al choose Dauntless when that so clearly wasn't his aptitude.
I look at Tiffany's class and see her Dauntless score among the majority who got that result. One Candor transfer, a boy named Carl, chose Dauntless in spite of his Candor result. Eric's class yields only Tobias, who got Abnegation because Marcus taught him to manipulate the test. We go back through five years of initiate groups and end up with eight candidates for testing. Al is dead, Myra is factionless, and we know that I'm a strongly simulation resistant divergent, so that leaves us with five people to test. Eric contacts them and their employers and arranges a time when they can take the test on Friday.
On Thursday Eric knocks on my office door.
"I was just looking at the files of our testing candidates," he says, "and I noticed something interesting. With the exception of you and Four, who are probably both divergent, everyone who chose Dauntless in spite of testing for another faction ranked really low in initiation. I realized it because I had to get most of them off guard duty at the fence to come in for testing."
"That's not surprising, I guess," I reply. "Not having an aptitude for Dauntless doesn't exactly set you up for success in initiation. They probably had more fears and had to catch up physically, too."
"What time is Caleb coming with the machine tomorrow?" I ask.
"Nine AM," he replies. "I scheduled Four to go first. I figured after that Cara and I can run the other tests and you can have the morning with your brother."
"Thanks!" I say. "I got Will some time off, too. Cara is his sister. I thought he might like to have lunch with her or something."
"You're the best!" he calls as he ducks out of my office.
.
xxxx
.
Promptly at nine AM on Friday, I'm waiting at the entrance to Dauntless with Eric at my side. A blue van pulls up to the curb, and Caleb exits.
"Beatrice!" he calls, waving. I roll my eyes and wave back.
Cara gets out of the van as well, and they open a cargo door in the back.
"Come on, Beatrice," says Eric, nudging me with his hip, "let's help the noses with their computer."
We help Caleb and Cara bring the equipment into the compound and set it up in Eric's office. Tobias and Tiffany are waiting at reception when we arrive. She chats with Kyle while he paces nervously. I let the two Erudite members and my ex-Erudite boyfriend play with the tech while I stay in the lobby with my friends.
Tiffany gives me a big hug. "Thank you so much for doing this," she says in a low voice. "I can't tell you how nervous and excited Tobias is about getting this experience."
"It's my pleasure," I say in the same low tone. "That monster took too much from him. Even though his results can't change anything, I'm still glad we can give something back to him."
She nods, and I see that her eyes are shiny with unshed tears. Kyle's phone buzzes and he picks it up with the unprofessional greeting "what's up, Sexy?" Tiffany gives me a quizzical look, and I can't help but laugh. Kyle and Eric are constantly picking on one another. I have no doubt that's who is on the other end of the line.
"Boss man says you should go in," Kyle announces flippantly as he hangs up the phone.
I laugh again and lead my friends back to Eric's office. The room is full with Eric, the two Erudite visitors and their computer equipment, plus Max, Harrison, and Veronica. Four, Tiffany, and I bring the crowd to eight people. It's a tight fit.
"We're going to do a test runthrough to see that everything's alright," says Eric. "I'll be the guinea pig for this first one, then you can all clear out and Cara and I can run the test on everyone as they come in."
He takes a seat on the chair beside the computer, and Cara attaches two electrodes to his head while he drinks the simulation serum. A few clicks later, Eric's eyes flutter closed. He's still for a couple minutes while Cara clicks this and that on the computer. Suddenly Eric wakes with a small gasp. He shakes off the simulation fog as he removes the electrodes from his head and sterilizes them for the next test subject.
"The simulation is different than the one I saw when I was sixteen," says Eric.
"We change it every year," says Cara. "That way older siblings and parents can't tell the dependents what to expect."
"How did I do?" Eric asks.
"Ninety percent Dauntless, ten percent Erudite," Cara replies matter-of-factly.
"Wait, what?" says Eric. "Am I divergent?"
"Oh no," says Cara. "Ten percent is well within normal range. The test is more sophisticated than it used to be, so we can get the subtle things we used to miss."
Everyone is impressed with this improvement. It makes me wonder what my exact percentages are, and I imagine everyone in the room is thinking the same.
"Let's clear out so Eric and Cara can start the tests," says Max. The leaders leave the room, and I guide Tiffany and Caleb back to my office.
"I thought I was here to help," says Caleb.
"I asked for you to come along so we could spend the day together," I say. "Cara and Eric can run the test just fine on their own. I want to show you around Dauntless. Maybe we can get you a tattoo or a piercing," I tease.
"I don't think that's a good idea," says Caleb flatly, making Tiffany laugh.
"I'm teasing you," I say, rolling my eyes at my brother. "No tattoos, I promise. I'm just going to show you around a bit, so you'll know what my life is like here."
He nods. At the same time there is a tap on my open office door.
"Tiff?" says Tobias from the doorway. "I'm done." He's beaming. How much it means for him to get this back and know where he belongs is written plainly across his face.
"How did it go?" I ask as he hugs his girlfriend.
"Sixty-five, thirty-five," he says.
"You're divergent?" Caleb asks, astounded.
"So am I, Caleb," I say.
"What was your aptitude?" he asks, always gathering information for that computer brain of his.
"Dauntless, Erudite, and Abnegation," I say, "though I don't know the percentages."
"Three!?" asks my brother, dumbfounded. Tobias and Tiffany chuckle.
"Three is unheard of," he says, nearly breathless with discovery. "Is that how you did so well in initiation?"
I try not to be angry about his implication that there needs to be some outside explanation for my success. God forbid I'm just good at something…
"You better be careful, man," says Tobias, "your sister is a fierce fighter." We laugh, and as he and Tiffany leave Tobias offers to buy Eric and I a drink tonight for arranging the testing.
"Yeah, Caleb, why don't we go down to the training room and find a fighting ring. I can show you how I did so well in initiation."
"I don't think that's a good idea," he says.
I roll my eyes again and offer to give him a tour of the compound instead.
The last of the tests is done by noon, so we take Caleb and Cara to the cafeteria for lunch. Will and Christina are waiting for us when we arrive.
"Will," says Cara, pleased to see her little brother. "I was hoping to see you today."
"Tris arranged for me to have some time off," he explains, "she thought it would be nice for us to catch up. I want you to meet my girlfriend, Christina."
"We met on visiting day," Cara reminds him, "though I don't think she was your girlfriend then."
Eric and I take our leave and guide Caleb through the cafeteria. His blue clothing gets a lot of attention in the sea of black, and he looks uncomfortable. He grabs simple food, and Eric mumbles something about "stiffs" and their "lack of taste buds."
We introduce Caleb and Cara to our table of friends and start eating. Caleb, as always, is full of questions.
"Do you have fizzy drinks here?" he asks.
"No," I reply. "I think only Erudite has those."
"We mostly drink alcohol," Uriah exaggerates, teasing.
"Alcohol kills brain cells," Cara says in a humorless tone.
"Is it always this noisy here?" Caleb asks.
"Pretty much," I reply. "You get used to it. It's a lot more lively than Abnegation, that's for sure."
"Funerals are more lively than Stiff-land," Zeke teases, emphasizing his point with a wave of his breadstick.
"How many tattoos do you have?" Caleb continues the grilling.
"Just two," I answer. "The birds on my collarbone represent you, Mom, and Dad, and the life I left behind. The ladders up my arms are leadership marks. That's why Eric has the same ones."
"How many do you have?" he asks Eric.
Eric shrugs and I can't help but smirk. Under his clothes he's more ink than skin.
"They start to blend together," he says noncommittally.
Our friends clamor to show off their tattoos to the visitors who are completely overwhelmed by the noise and chaos. After lunch we help them load the computer back into the Erudite van and say our goodbyes.
.
xxxx
.
I'm running late for our drinks with Tobias and Tiffany. Hopefully Eric is there so they don't think we bailed on them.
I rush into the pit bar and look around for my friends. I see them in a booth along the back wall, so I hurry over.
"Hey guys," I say cheerfully. "Sorry I'm late."
I notice quickly that Eric is tense. Tobias looks completely defeated, and Tiffany has a hand on his shoulder.
"What happened?" I ask.
"Sit down, Baby," says Eric. "Let's get you a drink first."
He waves a server to our table and orders us each a drink. Once they're delivered and we're alone again, I repeat my question.
"What happened?"
"Tris I'm so sorry," says Four. "I had no idea that getting access to the test was going to be so costly for you."
"What are you talking about?" I ask. "That stupid Marshall thing?"
Tobias nods and Tiffany puts a hand over mine. "I can't believe he did that to you," she says sympathetically.
"Eric, what did you tell them?" I ask.
"Just that getting the test was harder that it needed to be because that Erudite prick wanted you to trade sex for access to the equipment."
"Did you also tell them that I broke the bastard's nose?" I ask.
"You did?" Tiffany asks, her eyes lighting up.
"You didn't tell them that part, Eric? Are you trying to make Four feel bad so you're not the only one who feels guilty? I've said this before, and I'll say it again: you did nothing wrong. Asking about the test didn't get me into that mess. You visiting your family didn't do it either. The only one to blame is the asshole who grabbed me. Stop blaming Four! I handled it. It's over!"
I slide my drink in front of Eric and march out of the bar.