As I enter the hall for breakfast I see the other members of the Fellowship sitting at a long table to one side and I make my way over to them greeting them politely as I sit beside Pippin and Merry at the other end of the table from Aragorn trying to ignore his glances in my direction.
"I see you intend to spar today my lady," Boromir says and I look up to see a slight sneer on his face as he says it.
"Yes," I reply shortly reaching for some bread.
"You should be careful I would not want to see a fair maiden injured so soon before we travel," he says and I am aware of the other conversations around the table halting as they turn their attention to my exchange with Boromir.
"You should not worry for me so sir, I assure you I am no fair maiden and I will do my best not to injure you if that is your concern," I reply smiling sweetly and grabbing a piece of cheese to go with my bread I stand up and walk towards the practise fields smirking wider as I hear the laughter behind me.
"Let us see what you are made of then," Boromir almost roars an hour or so later when he appears in front of my sword drawn and eyes flashing. I gulp inwardly for a second as I take in his clear strength and size advantage over me but then I breathe deeply and remember the teachings of my dear friend Hallebrad and draw my own sword. Our weapons meet with a resonating scrape of metal on metal and the fight begins. We dance around each other for at least an hour, sweat beading on my forehead as I duck his blows and parry others, him doing the same to me. By now the others have all gathered and I am pleased that they seem impressed, I am tiring though and so know that I must finish this before his sheer strength and stamina cause me to lose. So, ducking quickly I swipe his legs away from him with one of mine and as soon as he hits the ground heavily on his back I have my sword pointed at his neck smiling in triumph.
"The lass is mighty with a sword that's for sure," Gimli laughs and I offer Boromir a hand up which he takes before shaking.
"I apologise my Lady," he says once he is in front of me.
"What for?" I ask and he breaks into a wide smile,
"You are as you said no useless maiden I am only glad you are on my side in this fight," he laughs and so do I.
"Let us test your skill with the bow then My lady," Legolas says stepping forward and I smile at him.
"It is just Peyson I am no lady, just a village girl," I reply but he shakes his head stepping closer to me.
"I assure you, no village girl fights the way you just did,"
"Neither does a lady," I point out and he quirks an eyebrow at me.
"Then maybe we should find a new name for you, for you truly are unique," he smiles and I feel my myself flush with embarrassment as I stare fixedly at the floor.
"You fight as well as any ranger I have known," Aragorn points out and despite everything in me wanting to smile at him and move towards him I still feel too humiliated and I flinch away from him instead, noting the concerned look that passes between him and Legolas at my actions.
"Thank you my lord but you are too kind I still have a lot to learn," I virtually whisper before turning brightly to Legolas to dissipate the tense atmosphere that was suddenly surrounding me, "Shall we have a competition then?" I ask with a grin and he offers me an answering smile although I can still see the lingering worry in his eyes and it unnerves me. There is clearly not much I can hide from this wise old elf.
The day drifts by quickly, Legolas beats me easily although I do prove I have reasonable skill with a bow and I think I have at least eased their doubts about me accompanying them. By the end of the day I am exhausted and after quick meal I turn in and sleep for a few hours before the images of my village burning, my family dying force me awake.
This pattern continues for three more days before I give up trying to sleep and head outside to clear my head instead. My skin is still damp with the sweat that drenched me, evidence of the fear I had felt in my dreams, and it caused me to shiver as I picked my way to my favourite spot by the waterfall.
"My lady what are you doing out so late?" the voice startles me so much I stifle a scream as I spin round and jump to my feet.
"Legolas you scared me," I say after a second when I have regained control of my wildly beating heart.
"My apologies," he says with a tiny smile and signals for me to sit down again where he joins me.
"It's okay," I say after a second and he glances at me before staring ahead and we sit in silence for a long time.
"The nightmares still plague you," he states into the darkness and I nod, "why do you shy away from Aragorn when you seemed so close?" he asks and I open and close my mouth for a long time before formulating an answer.
"It is not fair for me to steal this time from him," I say eventually,
"It is funny you say you are not a lady and yet you insist on being noble at all times to your own detriment," he chuckles although there is no humour in it.
"I am not being noble merely truthful. He barely knows me and I have forced myself on him from the start, he should have some peace,"
"You think that is what he truly wants?" his question startles me and I look over at him to see his face virtually expressionless, giving nothing away, staring back at me, meeting my gaze steadily until I am forced to turn away.
"He wants to be with his love, I cannot monopolise his time any longer," I say stiffly.
"Ah, I see now,"
"No… I mean…" I stutter over my words before trailing off, "the truth is I don't know, I don't understand," I say and he moves closer to my placing a warm hand against my arm.
"Then talk to me about it and we can work it through together," he says quietly.
"But…" I start before being interrupted,
"We are a part of the same fellowship, it is our duty to help one another wherever we can now," he reasons and I sigh deeply before nodding my head.
"I'm scared," I admit eventually,
"What of?" he asks and I glance at him before staring forward again, watching the water and letting it soothe me.
"I lost everything I have ever known just over a week ago. I watched my family and friends die in front of me and I was not strong enough to protect them. I was left alone and I swore I wouldn't feel anymore, wouldn't care anymore so I couldn't hurt anymore. Then I met Aragorn and the hobbits, they saved me. I was dying from the arrow wound in my shoulder. I broke my promise Legolas I cared again. I couldn't stop myself and I'm so scared because I care too much I don't understand what I feel for him but I know it is too much. More than he could ever return and it hurts so I tried to distance myself but it is not working, I cannot sleep because every time I close my eyes I am haunted by the images of my family dying, I should not come on this journey I am too weak," I finish and am appalled to find that tears are coursing down my cheeks and before long I am hiccoughing soft sobs as I try to control myself.
"Shh, Peyson it is okay," Legolas says pulling me towards him and embracing gently.
"Sorry," I gasp out eventually, his arms still holding me close to him,
"It is nothing," he whispers,
"I thought elves did not like physical contact," I say after a while when I have gained control of my breathing and emotions again.
"What made you think that?" he laughs,
"I don't know they are always so distant and aloof I guess," I say after considering it for a moment.
"True we tend to save most of our physical and emotional contact for our families, our soul mates," he answers me and I nod before registering what he has said and whipping my head round to stare at him which makes him laugh. "However," he continues, "I have spent a great many years travelling with the rangers and visiting in human settlements, I believe the experience has changed me somewhat and I find myself more open to notions such as offering comfort to friends in distress," he smiles and then laughs as I let out a breath of relief.
"You won't tell anyone will you?" I ask nervously after another long silence.
"No Peyson it is your story to tell and no others but I will be a friend when you need one," he smiles and I smile back at him before yawning and shivering slightly.
"Come, you are tired and cold it is time for some sleep you need rest, we leave in two days time," Legolas says standing smoothly and pulling me up with him and pulling me towards the guest rooms.
"I'm afraid that I will have another nightmare," I whisper to him as I stand outside my door and he sighs pulling my hair away from my face slightly.
"Come I shall stay with you until you are asleep and watch over you to make sure you don't have anymore bad dreams and if you do I will wake you," he promises as he follows me into the room and waits for me to climb into bed before pulling a chair to the side of the bed and sitting down.
"What about your own sleep?" I ask once I am lying on my side facing him.
"Elves do not need much sleep I will make sure I rest though too," he smiles and I nod slightly feeling my eyes becoming heavy already with exhaustion and soon I am drifting into the first dream free sleep in days.