Six weeks later and I can no longer hide it, the images had been getting clearer, every time I sleep I dream of it.
"What is wrong little one?" Aragorn asks one morning when I once again awake with a gasp and a sweat glistening across my body and I sigh as I turn to him.
"Orcs are going to attack," I say in a whisper and he sits up straight immediately pulling me around to face him and forcing me to look at him.
"Where? When? How long have you known?" he asks the questions making my head swim in their severity and quickness so much so I take a shaky breath before I speak again.
"A village just over the horizon, I think it will be in a couple of days… I… I have known for a little while but it was so grainy and distant I did what Galadriel taught me and focused on the images becoming more clear first," I reply which okay is not strictly true but I don't want him mad at me do I?
"I shall summon the guard we will ride out immediately," he says jumping up but I pull him down straight away.
"You cannot go," I say and he looks shocked opening his mouth to protest but I jump in before I can stop myself, "I however must…" I trail off slightly waiting for the inevitable and it takes him about twenty seconds to process this information before he practically leaps out of bed and begins pacing and very nearly shouting, which would have been scary were he not naked.
"… I will not let my wife ride into battle without me. You are the queen of Gondor…" he is ranting away when I kneel on the bed and grasping at his hand force him to still for a moment, putting a hand over his mouth I smile softly his love for me creating a warm glow around me.
"You are a great king and an even greater husband Aragorn and I love you so much but you were the one that said I would not be myself if I did not continue to fight and train. You have been gracious to make no comment about the men not trusting me but you know as well as I that the only way to make them is to prove myself and this is my chance," I say and he shakes his head wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close to him burying his head in the crook of my neck for comfort.
"Your life is worth more than the trust of some men," he murmurs in response and I feel my heart ache knowing that I am hurting him asking for this but it has to be done.
"It is not just me men Aragorn, it is all of them, even Faramir and I need to prove that I can do this without you or Haldir or Legolas to protect me… I can do this," I say emphatically breathing heavily as I finish speaking.
"I know," he whispers a heavy sigh escaping his lips as I pull away slightly so that I can kiss thoroughly.
"Besides," I say, "Gondor needs you to keep things going and I shall only be gone for a few days rather than the weeks I was separated from you last time," I add and he offers a weak smile of his own.
"We must still keep your sight hidden though so I will call the guard together and tell them that I have heard rumours of an attack, I will name you and Faramir as the leaders of the charge but be prepared they will not be happy," he explains and I nod in response.
"I know," I say quietly, "that is why I must go,"
"Get dressed my love, I will call the guard and you shall ride out by this afternoon," he says heavily and I move to get up both of us dressing in silence until I approach the door and he stops me pulling me back to him. "Be safe, I love you too much to lose you, I could not do this without you," he whispers and I have to blink the tears away, fear and the memory of the images causing an almost familiar nausea to rise within me as it had most days over the last few weeks.
I approach the crowd of men from behind and gradually make my way to Faramir's side reaching my position just as Aragorn finishes speaking and there is a split second silence as the information sinks in before the first shout echoes through the room.
"We cannot ride out with a woman in charge," One man from the back shouts before a series of others join him.
"She is a woman what does she know of battle?"
"She is the queen we would be too focused on protecting her,"
"We cannot trust a woman in battle,"
"Enough," Aragorn cries and silence falls over the crowd of soldiers as I duck my head slightly feeling the flush of anger and humiliation creep up across my cheeks, "She asks for nothing more, in the form of protection, than you afford any of your fellow men who stand beside you now. She may be a woman but she had fought bravely in battles across Middle Earth and whether you trust her or not she is the queen and I the king, I have not led you astray thus far and I would never endanger the life of my wife willingly she is a fierce warrior and I trust that she will lead you well if you trust in me then in her you must also place your trust. Now say goodbye to your loved ones you ride out in three hours time," he finishes and I look up at him in admiration, I can still feel the animosity towards me it has diminished slightly and they are at least leaving without insisting I stay behind.
"Thank you," I say once everyone has left and we are alone in the room and he walks towards me kissing me gently before removing the circlet crown from my head.
"It is best the enemy cannot see you are royalty," he explains when I look at him questioningly and I nod my understanding. "I wish you would allow Haldir or Legolas to go with you," he whispers his face once again against my neck as my arms find themselves around his own neck holding him close to me.
"You know they cannot," I reply, "I will be fine, the Valar are not done with us yet," I smile at him and he peppers my face with kisses.
"Yes, i think you are right it is your destiny to return to me, we have much left to do together," he replies and I nod kissing him deeply dragging a groan from his throat as he back me slowly against the wall deepening the kiss even further before a voice clearing behind us drags us a away from one another.
"I am sorry your highness," but the council are waiting to discuss the rebuilding, in light of the news of attack they are eager to talk about the progress," the servant says ducking his head as Aragorn shield me with his body before nodding his head to the boy and offering a short comment. Taking my hand he begins to lead me outside stopping as he spots Annabeth in the corridor.
"Miss Annabeth, could you please take the queens crown and make sure it gets to her ladies made," Aragorn says and the girl accepts in eagerly handling it as if it were spun gold, which it could be for all I know.
"How are you Annabeth, how is your sister?" I ask before she can run away and she blushes furiously as she ducks into a low curtsy in front of me.
"She is well thank you, your Highness and so am I," she says before scuttling off.
"She is enamoured with you I think," he grins at me and I laugh in response,
"I think she is more enamoured with you my love and perhaps my gifts," I say and he pulls me into an alcove kissing me thoroughly once more dragging his lips across my throat as he whispers into my skin.
"I love you little one, be safe and come home to me soon," he says and then just like that he is gone and I am steadying myself against the cold stone of the wall before moving off to check and ready my weapons.
Sitting astride my horse it is hard to work out which emotion is more prevalent in me; fear, anxiety, sickness, love, anger and I have to put into practise everything Hallebrad taught me in order to show a black face to the men sitting around me on their own horses as well as the people lining the streets.
"I had hoped that with the war over we had seen an end to these parades it is like they send us to our deaths," one man says next to me and I turn to him despite the fact that I agree with him.
"There will always be evil in the world as long as there are people I fear but we shall not die this trip," I respond and he sneers a little at me.
"And you are certain of this?"
"I have faced bigger battles with smaller armies and I am still here," I reply steadily trying not to let my anger show.
"You may have but many did not, not everyone was being looked after by kings and elves," he sneers and I sigh slightly turning away not bothering to respond as I see it will do me no good here.
"Do not worry my Lady he will trust you once he has seen you in battle," Faramir leans over and whispers and I offer him a grim smile.
"And what of you? Will you trust me then?" I whisper back and he stutters for a moment before I interrupt him, "it is okay, I do not blame you let us just hope that the battle is but a small one and easily won," I say quietly before pulling ahead slightly and trying to appear strong and resilient even as I continue to hear the jeers and taunts muttered by the men riding behind me.
I ride alone and in silence slightly separated throughout the day and make sure I am situated apart from as evening draws in and we make camp. I don't sleep that night, giving up as soon as I close my eyes and see the images in sharp focus, sickness rolling through me and forcing me to sit up and focus every fibre in my body on not emptying my stomach. The attack would the next day of that I am certain now and the anxiety this causes makes my limbs shake, I had forgotten the fear I always felt before battle, although the strong nausea is new but I suppose that is because I am out of practise.
As dawn creeps over the horizon I rise stiffly from my position on the ground and begin to move around waking the men around the camp.
"We leave within the hour," I say gruffly throwing down some bread and moving off to ready my horse and check my weapons. I was not going to leave myself an opportunity to get too nervous because if I did I would have as little trust in myself as these men do for it is true this is the first time I had ridden into battle without help and support and more importantly protection from members of the fellowship. Perhaps I was stupid to think I could do this, I had survived the war because of those around me and the only time I had attempted to think for myself I very nearly died. Before I can think too much though we are mounted and moving, everyone becoming quieter the closer we get.
"Here it is," I virtually whisper, drawing up on my reigns slightly but before I can say anything else a screech alerts me to the fact that the Orc's are upon us, talk about serendipitous timing.
"Charge," Faramir screams and we do thundering into the village and clashing with the enemy in that terrifying, blood curdling, stomach clenching sound of metal on metal and ripping through flesh.
Their army is small but they have wargs with them and are battling fiercely, even so it does not take us long to gain the upper hand. I ride around the back of a few houses as I am being blocked out of the battle by the men which is equal parts frustrating and anger inducing and growl to myself as I let another arrow fly into he head of a Warg sending its rider to the ground also as it is about to kill a solider who I notice at least has the good grace to look abashed when he sees it is me who has saved his life. Turning away slightly I notice a small boy being cornered by a riderless warg and scream at him to get to shelter another solider who is nearby moves to attack the warg but before I can stop it he has had his throat ripped out and I scream but am too late the boy is dead also and the whole army are blaming me looking at me as the last orc is killed. Blinking I stare around and realise that it was a vision and swallow the cry of relief even as I turn and see the boy, the warg and hear my cry for real. Before I can think this time I throw myself forwards sword in hand, jumping in front of the other solider and taking the brunt of the impact. I am thrown from my horse and almost vomit right there at the pain that rushes through my stomach and abdomen. Hearing a growl behind me I struggle to my feet my sword in my hand and attack, able to see from the corner of my eye that both the solider and the boy are alive and safe and that the battle seems to be over bar me and this beast, others turning to stare as it lunges again and I dodge its jaws hissing a little as a tooth cuts through the skin on my forearm. I stumble as I fresh wave of pain forces its way through my stomach and roll before stabbing upwards and luckily catching the beast through it's throat, turning my head away from the spray of blood which pours out from the wound.
"My lady… you… you saved me," the solider stutters as he approaches me a minute later still standing amidst the silent men and wipe my sword clean on my tunic before sheathing it, "please forgive my mistrust," he continues kneeling before me.
"I too seek your forgiveness, the king was right my queen you are a fierce and worthy warrior," another says stepping forward and kneeling and looking around I see that all the soldiers are doing the same as are the villagers who are now emerging from their houses.
"Thank you but there is no need, I am no queen here I just wish to be seen as an equal," I reply ducking my head against the flush on my cheeks and slight wince of pain as an ache has now settled in my stomach punctuated by stabbing pains every so often.
"I think you need not worry anymore about receiving the trust of those around you," Faramir says quietly sometime later once we have burned the dead enemy and treated the wounded, few and far between thankfully, and are on our way home. I offer him what I hope is a smile and not a grimace and ride onwards. The pain is increasing with every metre we travel and I can feel a sweat breaking out across my skin but I cannot let them know I am injured not when I have just proved myself, oh Valar let me get back to Minis Tirith and Aragorn before this pain kills me.