I stand before the mirror the next afternoon and stare at my self apprehension fills me slightly. I looked good, I think. My hair is shining and healthy again and I seem to have a healthier look to my skin again rather than the hollow, haunted look they had before but more than anything my eyes are drawn to the swollen belly that lay beneath my hands and my heart jumps a little as I realise that in less than a month I would be holding my child in my arms.
"Are you ready my friend?" a voice says quietly from behind me and I turn to see Eowyn standing behind me a gentle smile on her face as she takes my appearance in.
"I look… like a swollen old woman," I smile and she laughs as I do before stepping forward and grasping my hand in hers.
"You look like the queen you are my friend and you look like a wonderful mother already," tears prickle at my eyes slightly as she says this and I move away from her to stand by the window as I try to regain control of my emotions, pregnancy apparently makes me incredibly emotional all the time.
"I am scared Ewoyn," I admit quietly after a while and I hear her make a noise of concern as she steps towards me.
"What do you fear?" she questions and I sigh, throwing a glance at her over my shoulder before returning my gaze to the city wide view we have from our windows.
"My parents are gone Eowyn, as are Aragorn's, we have lived through… we both know how to fight, we know how to survive but I am unsure of my ability to be a parent, I am scared I will be found wanting," my voice falters slightly and trails off as I finish speaking and for a moment there is silence before I feel her hand on my arm pulling me around to face her and her smiling face.
"Peyson, my dear friend, both you and Aragorn are the epitome of survival and bravery and kindness and those are the skills I believe you need more than any other to be a good parent. You will love this child," she breaks off and places her hand gently over my stomach, both of us giggling when it moves beneath her palm, "you will be truly fantastic parents and after all, you won't be alone, you have us, your friends, your family around you," she finishes and I pull her into a hug before I break down and sob like a baby again.
"Right come on then," I say when I have regained control of my emotions, "time to see my people," the sentence makes me chuckle slightly at how ridiculous it still sounds. I had been Queen of Gondor for over a year now and yet the idea of having 'people' or 'subjects' still made me laugh with incredulity, I still couldn't really get used to having servants to be honest.
The hallways are fairly empty this afternoon as Eowyn and I make our way to my favourite bench by the white tree, which was now once again full of flower and fully alive, something that made my heart sing every time I thought of it or saw it.
"My Queen you are well," the voice is full of hope and reverence and I glance up to see Annabeth standing in the hallway before me and my face breaks into a smile as I nod at her.
"I am very well thank you Annabeth, I was actually meaning to come and find you, will you come to my rooms this evening when you have finished your work?" I ask and she nods her head, a small frown of confusion and worry marring her features for a second. "It is nothing to worry about I assure you, how are your little siblings?" I ask and she smiles before rolling her eyes slightly and shrugging her shoulders in a good natured way.
"They are well, although they give me the constant run around as children are apt to do," she smiles and both Eowyn and I laugh a little before she bids us a nervous farewell and rushes on her way whilst we carry on our walk.
"I don't know that I will ever get used to being treated that way by people I see as being the same as me," I sigh and she laughs,
"It is part of what makes you such a great Queen my friend," she replies and I glance at her feeling a blush rising on my cheeks even as she says it.
"And the other part?" I ask to try and make a joke of the situation and she merely laughs at me again and points towards the distance and I look up to see we have rounded a corner and before us are some of the soldiers training and my heart lurches as I see them.
"Oh how I miss this," I murmur as we walk forward and my fingers brush over the swords in the rack.
"My Queen, it is so good to see you," I look up again to see that the men had all stopped training and were kneeling before me.
"Will you stop that kneeling, you know that when I am here I am just a soldier like the rest of you," I hiss and Faramir steps forward chuckling and signals the rest of the men to stand.
"I think, my friend, that we have some time before you will be a soldier again," he smiles as he gestures at my stomach.
"Not too long I shall be training as soon as I can or I shall forget everything," I scowl and then blush as I hear some of the men laughing a little.
"Well we all miss you greatly and are glad to see you looking so well," Faramir says quietly as he moves to stand beside his wife and squeeze her fingers slightly.
"I think perhaps I should find some women to hold my place while I am away," I muse and I see him frown slightly but I interrupt him before he can speak. "Surely by now I have proven to you my friend that a woman can be just as strong and useful in battle as any man and I don't see why we can't train some willing women to fight," I add an idea forming in my head.
"But, my Queen…" one of the men says in frightened concern and I hold up a hand to halt him,
"The danger is over but we can not assume that there will never be more and we need to be as protected and ready as possible. I am not saying that we should train all women to fight but for those that, like me, have a passion for it we should not deny them the chance to be ready should we?" I finish speaking and can feel the flush of heat on my face and can see the doubt in their faces.
"Maybe a talk for another time," a voice says behind me and I feel myself relax as I hear it and, moments later, feel his body warm next to mine.
Wrapping his arm around my waist he steers me gently away from the training grounds and towards a secluded garden that how become one of our favourite places to sit and talk quietly since being here.
"How do you feel?" he asks the second we are sitting down and I am shifting to try and get comfortable.
"I am well my love, even if our child is determined to dance across my bladder," I smile and he laughs a little before making me hitch a gasp as he drops to his knees, his resting on my stomach as he leans forward to kiss it before beginning to speak.
"Hey, you be good for your mama, she has fought hard to keep you safe and well and we are both so eager to meet you. I do need you to make me a deal though, you keep your mum safe, she seems determined to worry me and every available opportunity, she always has done and one day I shall tell you all about how we met but you're going to have to be on my side in this," he murmurs kissing my stomach again before looking up at me. His face blurry through my tears, stupid emotions getting the better of me again.
"I love you so much," I say after a moment and he smiles as he moves to sit beside me again his fingers stroking against my cheeks.
"I love you more my little one," he responds and I laugh at that before moving to stand up.
"Well little one I am definitely not anymore and whilst I love to sit here beside you our child is still dancing in a most uncomfortable place so if you would be so kind could you escort me back to our rooms," he laughs as he gets up and helps me back along the corridors.