#CHAPTER 3#

When I spot Sam sitting at a table across the mess, shoot him a small smile on my way out, moving quickly, don't want to see any of the others; see if they are looking at me. Hurry back to my room alone, tidy up, packing up my stuff ready to go but knowing that I won't be by myself for long; so long as others think I'm going to lose it if left to my own devices. So grab my book out, huddle up in the corner and try to read it. There's no point locking my door since they'll just pick it open again.

A short time later there's a soft knock and Sam pokes his head in. "Mind if I come in?" Wave my hand in a careless fashion. "Sure."

He shuts the door. "How you doing?"

"Siriusly? I'm fine! I'm clean, I've had something to eat. I just wanna be left alone. Okieday?"

Sam spreads his arms slightly, palms up as if in surrender. "I get it. I do. Colonel Carter just doesn't want you to be alone in here tonight and frankly neither do I, after how I found you this afternoon."

"You're bringing up the root?" My chest feels like it's being crushed again, attempt a deep breath several times, managing some light short ones.

"Yeah I guess I am."

Put my book down on my lap. Finally manage a breath deep enough to ease the choking feeling in my chest. "It was nothing, come on. I'm not hurt, well, not physically anyway;" grabbing my arm, 'hiding' it's scars with my hand even though I'm back in long sleeves. "It was an escape, a way to control the hurt without consequences." Drawing my forearm against my stomach.

"You know if you injure yourself bad enough in that world you could die in both?"

"Yes I know that. I don't want to die, I don't. I just… well, how do I explain it? Who would understand? Hell, I don't even really get it." Suddenly feel very angry, what I say next comes out in almost a growl. "You know what? Screw talking. This isn't helping. If you wanna stay then stay doesn't matter what you do Sam. Nothing will make me feel better right now."

Pick the book up off bed and try to keep reading.

"Okay." he settles down on the other bunk.

After a little while start getting a headache so drop the book and rub my eyes, get up to grab my water bottle from my pack and spot a napkin with some slices in it, so pick that up that too.

"Sam? Do you want a bit?" Holding out the napkin so he can see. He sits up and smiles. "Yes, thanks."

"Shouldn't I be thanking you? Babysitting the head case, boring right? Especially since you don't know me and I know I've kinda been a bitch too. Surely you have better things to do?"

"Making sure no one else gets hurt is what I do, right now that means helping you if I can."

"Still babysitting? Here." Hand him a slice, so he says "thank you." I pat his free hand, sliding it off quickly.

Oh wholly crap! I touched him - whoops…

Horrified I retreat to sit sideways on the edge of my bunk so I'm not facing him and slowly breathing, pull tiny bits off two of my slices until they're gone. Lick my fingers, wipe them on the napkin, then skull half my water bottle; anything to avoid looking at him.

Retreat back to my corner with the book. Finally I can't stand it anymore and peek over the edge of the page to find he's staring at me. Oh boy, go back to the book. Wonder what he's thinking. This is nuts. Stop thinking!

Look up again, Sam doesn't seem to have looked away. "Okay, what?" I ask him tiredly.

"Nothing, sorry." He looks away from me.

Getting angry again I snap. "Right. You randomly show up here 'to help' with Jamie and you're just sitting there watching a complete stranger have a breakdown. Sure, there's nothing going on at all." Nearly yelling by the end of it.

Whoa better be careful.

He quickly wipes off the surprised look on his face. Crap now what's he thinking?

Just shut up and calm down!

"Sorry just ignore me." Shyly say to him then to myself I repeat over and over. 'Lie down, close your eyes, breathe, think happy thoughts, don't panic.'

Hear a creak of the wood and mattress as he sits on the edge of my bunk bed. He touches my right elbow, my heart really starts racing now.

Open my eyes, twisting round, looking up at him.

What is he doing?

Shuffle back to sit up against the wall with my left leg straight out to the side while pull in my right, tucking the foot under my thigh, rest knee against my pillows and stare back at him.

Silence. I hate silence. This is definitely awkward. Stare into my lap at my fidgeting hands. Another set of hands take a hold mine, strong but gentle. I look up into those gorgeous deep hazel eyes; still trying to work out what's going on. Ba-boom Ba-boom

As he perches on the edge for the second time today an almost overwhelming desire to kiss someone is brewing. Too scared to make a move, any move, I look back down at our hands. Is he being comforting, or is he just trying to figure me out? I try to speak but can't find my voice.

Try to pull my hands from his as this is getting really uncomfortable, freeing my right hand so can shimmy right back into the wall. Get dizzy from that little move and have to lean against my pillow.

He swallows. "Come here."

"What?"

Sam lets go of my other hand so he can stabilise himself as he swings his long legs up, around the ladder and onto the bed, laying his left arm across the pillow. "Come on, you'll be okay."

I scootch over a little and he wraps his other arm around my waist, drawing me a little closer.

"Just rest." Sam says in a low voice.

Mmmm. With my head resting on his chest, start dozing off. When I'm barely conscious just register a knock at the door before it opens and closes lightly.

"Is she okay?" I hear Carter whisper.

"Yeah I think she's doing much better. It's taken her a while to get to sleep though. How's it going out there?"

"It's quiet considering, probably too quiet. We have a few extra personnel on duty tonight, just in case. So how did you do today?"

"Have a theory or two."

"Feel like sharing these theories?"

"Not really. If there's something you need to know I will tell you. Can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot."

"Your nickname, Tapping?"

"This man's army." She laughs lightly. "Long story."

"Okay. Will you keep me updated?"

"Yep I'll be back, need anything?"

"I'm good thanks."

I'm so tired but can't completely drop off. Roll over onto my left side, away from Sam who pulls my hair back off my face, I give a small shiver and smile, glad he can't see it. Sam moves his arm so it's draping over my stomach, after a few minutes I lay my hand on top of his and our fingers interlock. Feel so safe now, I quickly drop off.

Stuffing clothes up my horrible pink frilly dress so someone can punch me, for training. I look pregnant; they get hurt so we walk two blocks to the hospital where suddenly my wrist is sore and the clothes are now a hot wheat sack.

There's three doors to choose from. One has a sign, 'Fast' - it goes straight forward through some double doors; up a few stairs is called something so long the sign on door is unreadable; and the door leading downstairs is unmarked. Go through fast, following the guy who I'd walked with. The wheat sack ends up around my wrist, get bored waiting so go to leave and fall down the stairs to the basement. Followed by my friend running, he suddenly grabs his ears, as if trying to block out a noise I can't hear. There is a light quick earthquake, so run back upstairs; "what on earth was that?"

It starts up again, only this time I can hear it too.

"Let's run." The shaking gets bigger. Everything goes pure white.

Wake up with my heart pounding, my face buried in Sam's chest. Sharp intake of breathe.

"Hey, you okay?" Quiet and soothingly Sam asks.

"Yeah, just a silly dream." I whisper back.

He runs his right hand down the back of my head, my left is resting on his chest, right is under the pillow.

"How long was I out?" Voice is muffled against his chest.

"Three or four hours."

Pulling my head back so I can speak a little clearer. "Right about normal then, did you get any sleep?"

"Nah I'm good."

"That's a bit creepy," sitting up a bit, "ya know, watching me sleep." I scootch up a bit more and rub my eyes, covering a yawn. Looks like he's just as uncomfortable as me right now.

"Umm," he starts.

Screw it, just kiss him girl.

Suddenly my left hand is on his shoulder and I plant one on his soft lips. Afraid to look at him once have broken off, I fall back into the wall, keeping my eyes closed and dropping my hands into my lap. Hang head feel my face going red and feel like my heart is going to pump out of my chest.

Choke out "Sam, sorry, I…" Trail off quickly because he's pulling his arm out from underneath me.

Now I've done it! At least maybe he'll leave me on my own, give me a chance to run.

Heart beats faster. Am I still breathing? With his right hand on my chin, he's lifting up my head, lowering his mouth to mine, propping himself up with his left. Almost automatically I reach my left arm up to his neck, dying to drag my hand through his hair but a little in shock right now. I wriggle down and flatten a smidge. Sam swings his right leg over mine for extra balance. I'm a little nervous, if this goes any further…

TBC