He stood over his enemy, the past version of the man who had ruined him so far in the future. He was so young here, so wide-eyed and full of hope. Full of the belief that he could actually make a difference in the world for the better.

Sanctimonious brat.

Barry Allen was a fraud. Just a stupid kid who only cared about himself and his own wants, his own needs. Ruining timelines, changing people's lives...destroying people's lives. Then abandoning them once their services were no longer required. Someone like that didn't deserve happiness.

Savitar clenched his jaw, remembering the isolation. The rejection. The looks that said "You're not the real Barry." As if he weren't flesh and blood and bone. As if his memories, his feelings, his life differed in any way from the Flash they knew and loved. He was the Flash too, had been the second Barry had been. But they hadn't seen him that way, his so-called friends and family. To them he was just a clone, a substitute who, once he'd served his purpose, it was just too weird to have around.

Too bad for them, because once he was a speed god, he'd be more than around. He'd be forever. Infinity!

Barry turned over to his side, reaching over unconsciously for the fiance that wasn't there. Savitar smirked, remembering how he'd loved to hold her in his sleep. Especially after the death threat had arisen. Iris had mentioned it to his past self over breakfast one day, finding it romantic.

"You're so sweet, even when you're sleeping you try to protect me."

She'd given him a peck on the lips. When she'd started to pull away to finish her breakfast he'd pulled her back to him.

"I'll always protect you."

Fucking liar. Making promises he couldn't keep. Typical Barry.

I wish I could end you now.

Of course he couldn't without ending himself. And he very much enjoyed being alive. Despite the pain, it would all be worth it once he became a speed god. Besides, maybe it was better this way, to see the anguish on Barry's face for years to come. Knowing that he put that anguish there.

His smirk spread into a smile now. There was nothing he loved more than hurting this weaker version of him. Nothing more satisfying. In fact he couldn't recall ever feeling more alive since he'd escaped the speedforce.

Iris wrapped her naked legs around his waist.

"Please, I need..."

The future Flash paused at the memory. No, he was wrong; THAT had been the most alive he'd felt since his escape--since anything. Being with Iris again, buried inside her, feeling her need him. Hearing her beg him. He brought his thumb to his lip and bit down on the knuckle as the memory stoked arousal within him. The way she'd panted beneath him when he'd kissed her below. The way she'd whimpered and wailed. The way she'd shaken and thrashed as she came all over his face...

Fuuuuck.

He needed her again. Just one more time. Maybe two. Maybe...

He didn't know where she was, but he knew she'd be back. And he knew what time because at some point Barry would see the footage but...forget Barry, he needed Iris. He missed Iris. He (don't say that word because it meant nothing to him) loved Iris. With that thought on his mind he was gone, sure to reset the alarm so that Barry would not be the wiser.

Then he was in the parking garage, waiting for the woman (he refused to admit) he still loved to return to him.

XXXXXXXXXX

She'd just parked the car when she spotted him, standing out in the open with his hands in his jacket pockets. No hood, no attempt to hide his presence or identity. His eyes trained on her.

Iris swallowed nervously.

He hadn't contacted her in days except for that one text. Now he'd shown up at the loft? Briefly she felt a hint of fear for Barry. Had he done something to him? Had he hurt him? But his plan had never been to hurt Barry directly. It had always been to hurt him through killing her.

"What are you doing here?" she tried to sound stern as she climbed out of her car.

She failed. His ghost of a smirk said he noticed.

"You missed me," Savitar noted quietly.

Her heart skipped. No she hadn't. She'd just been worried about what he might be up to. Safety of the city and all.

"I think it's the other way around," she responded.

"After all you came here to me."

He just looked at her. Like at the factory but even more intense. She tried to meet him head on with a steely gaze of her own but felt herself wavering under his scrutiny. Barry never made her anxious like this.

"You and Barry have been busy."

She blushed, knowing exactly what he meant by the lilt in his tone. It still freaked her out that he knew whenever she touched Barry. That he could remember every encounter. But she couldn't just cut Barry off. They'd always had a healthy sex life.

"He's my fiance," was all she gave him, hoping that point would shut him up.

She didn't feel comfortable talking about that with the future version of her partner whom she'd happened to accidentally cheat on him with. It felt so wrong.

"Did you think about me, Iris?"

Her heart leaped.

"W-what?"

Savitar stepped closer suddenly, his eyes burning through her with unbridled lust and affection.

"When he's touching you, do you think of me? Of the things that I can do? Like how you cried when I--" he slid his tongue out and Iris nearly fainted when it began to vibrate.

"You act like Barry can't do the same thing," she resisted, backing away.

He took another step closer.

"Not like I can."

Her feminine region tensed at the menacing yet seductive tone he'd taken with those words.

Not yet anyway.

She would have to change her panties when she got upstairs. They were already growing damp.

"You have, haven't you?"

Dark eyes penetrated her, reading her with the familiarity of a long-time lover. He knew that he was getting to her.

"If you mean about how to save you then yes," she admitted, changing the course of the conversation.

"I still think there's good in you."

He laughed out loud.

"Iris, don't kid yourself."

"I can see it," she pressed on.

"When you look at me. I can tell that you still love me. That love that you feel inside, it's a good thing. It's proof that you're not the evil being you pretend to be. It's proof that you can feel--"

"The only thing I feel is the insane urge to fuck you against that wall right now," he cut her off sharply.

Her breath quickened when he continued to advance. She scrambled backward, not trusting herself to be so close to the speedster that had her dripping through her undies with just one look. It was a dark glare--passionate, wolfish. Like he would take her here and now and there wasn't a damn thing she could do but enjoy it.

Barry never looked at her like that.

Iris hastened her retreat, backing upon his every step closer until she felt solid cement hit her rear. She was cornered! Panic surged through her when a smirk of carnality crossed his (tempting, alluring, oh so inviting) lips.

He's not Barry. He's not Barry, he's not Ba--

But his mouth felt like Barry's as it took hers, tasted like Barry as it prodded her lips open, tonguing her with a commanding desperation. He smelled like Barry as his body crowded her space, smashing against her erotically. And god did he feel like Barry...

"Nnngh..." she was losing herself.

"That's right, Iris. Let go."

His lips found her throat while his hands found her bottom. With flash-speed he yanked her legs up around his waist. Just like at the factory, her instinct was to wrap around him. Her instinct was to submit to him.

"Barry," she breathed and he lifted his head to face her.

"No. Not Barry."

One hand moved from her ass to slid under her shirt. Their eyes remained locked as that hand scooted into her pants, fingers grazing the soft hair of her pubic region. Iris gasped as they inched low enough to touch the tip of her lips. Dark eyes promised pleasure, reminded her of that night when he'd delivered such. Those eyes left her wanting, left her needing, left her craving.

Barry.

One name on her mind, she grasped his wrist, halting his hand's progression.

"I-I love him," she whispered.

She couldn't do this.

"I know."

He didn't try to force himself further. But he didn't pull back either.

"But you love me too," he said quietly.

She did, no use in denying that anymore, she did. Because even when he wasn't her Barry Allen he was still Barry Allen.

"I do," she breathed, feeling her resolve crumble.

"I do love you. Even though I know what you've done. I know what you're planning to do but...I can't help but to love you. I'll always love you. Every version of you."

His eyes glimmered before he could look away. Iris caught it, the moisture reflecting the overhead light of the garage. He tried to hide it, tried to turn his cheek but she placed both palms at his face, holding him steady. Keeping their eyes level. Absently she brushed a thumb down his scar, earning a barely audible sigh from the speedster.

He opened his mouth to speak. She waited. He closed it. But his eyes continued to well, emotion building and she knew he wanted to say something back. She didn't push him. Her heart told her to wait, to allow him to say it when he was ready.

He'd been so damaged, so hurt over the years it was only natural that opening up was difficult for him. She remembered Barry when his mother had died, the way he'd cried on her lap that first night. Savitar was no different; once the wall came down he too would need her comfort. She just needed him to trust her enough to let go.

I can save him. I know I can. I'll never give up on him.

He shook his head.

"Iris..."

Her thumb continued to stroke at the burn.

"I..."

...love you, she knew he wanted to say. Because his eyes were saying it, screaming it with his unshed tears. He'd said it once already, that fateful night. She had faith he could say it again. In an act of encouragement, she rested her forehead against his. This time he was the one to tremble.

A solitary tear dropped from his eye.

"I have to go."

He was pulling away. His hand left her pants and he dropped her back to her feet. When he attempted to step back, however she held his face in her hands. This was the breakthrough she needed. He was finally opening up. She wouldn't allow him to shut down now.

"Hey."

He tried to turn away.

"Look at me."

Another tear came down his cheek.

"Savitar. Look at me."

He was biting at his bottom lip, just like Barry did when holding in an emotional display. When he was fighting the urge to cry. Iris felt her heart weep for him, knowing that his pain was Barry's pain and more.

He didn't deserve any of it.

"I'm here for you, okay. I won't abandon you," she promised.

"Whatever bad happened you can trust that, right?"

There was a look of unfiltered affection in his eyes when he finally met hers again. Now that look Barry pulled off quite often.

He's still in there. I knew it.

She felt the moment, felt him slowly softening up when something seemed to catch his mind. He paused, a slight frown downturning his mouth. When he suddenly winced Iris was concerned.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?"

With an odd look he took her hands into his and removed them from his face.

"You'd better get to bed," was all he replied.

In a flash of red lightning, he was gone.

XXXXXXXXXXX

What the hell had just happened?! He'd been with Iris, his beautiful Iris when suddenly he'd felt a sharp headache. Though it was brief he recognized the feeling--a memory had just been rewritten. Something had changed somehow. Savitar closed his eyes, attempting to recall what had been replaced. It was vague, rapidly disappearing but something about Star Labs and Cisco. They were talking, the shorter engineer excited with some idea...now it was gone. Whatever it was.

Wait, what had he just been trying to remember?

"She's gotten to you, hasn't she?"

The cold, emotionless sneer brought him out of his own head. He turned to face her, the frosty friend he'd recruited for his mission.

"You don't know what you're talking about," he snapped.

The former Caitlin Snow merely cocked her head to the side. He didn't like the disapproving look on her face.

"What?"

She shrugged.

"Nothing. I just thought you were stronger than Barry. At the very least smarter."

When she didn't elaborate he felt a surge of irritation.

"And now you doubt that?"

Another shrug.

"Should I?"

His temperament wasn't the best at the moment. His body was worked up with no release, his mind worked up over the lost memory and now this cold bitch was mouthing off. Frustrated, his temper got the best of him.

It wasn't even a second before he'd sped over and wrapped a hand around her neck.

"Don't you ever compare me to that weak little boy again! I am nothing like him!"

Killer Frost glared back, defiantly.

"You got something in your eye," she taunted.

His vulnerability exposed, Savitar reacted by shoving her across the room. He quickly wiped his wet eyes, cursing the emotion that had drawn them. Tears were for the weak. The weak like Barry. Not him. He was a speed god. Speed gods didn't cry!

"Leave," he commanded when Frost began to move.

He needed to be alone. To reassess his situation. To reassess himself.

"Aiy, aiy Captain," Frost sneered before sauntering off.

She paused long enough to offer her unsolicited advice.

"It's a waste to go chasing the past. You know what god is spelled backwards, right? If I wanted to work with Iris West's lapdog I would have stayed at Star Labs. With Barry."

He only glared after her, as she left him alone with those words.