Both boys blink in surprise, shocked at her words. Haruhi gazes back and forth between them, smiling softly as they grip her hands tightly.
"You said you supported me, right? I want to support you both, since it's only fair." She says, hoping to get the twins to talk.
"I stepped down so Hikaru could have a chance." Kaoru says quietly, "You remember the kiss, Haru? I enjoyed our date very much, but decided Hikaru was more important. I couldn't stand the thought of losing both you and him." He lowers his eyes to the ground, staring at some ants crawling upon the cement.
Haruhi turns to face him, "I never really understood why you kissed me and ended the date like that. I wish you would have just told me this before. Now I feel bad because it feels like you gave up. I'm happy you're such a good brother Kao, but you need to think about yourself, too."
"I was thinking about myself, Haruhi." Kaoru mumbles, "If you and Hikaru are happy, then I'm happy. Isn't that how love works?"
Hikaru frowns, his brother slowly looking over at him and smiling wistfully.
"I backed off so you and Tamaki could be happy, Haru." Haruhi looks towards Hikaru and he averts his eyes. "It hurt so much having you reject me, yet I couldn't stand to see you and Tamaki rejecting each other. This break up sucks! It's making me upset just thinking about it. I was really hoping things would work out for you two, Haruhi. You're both unhappy now and I can't stand it!" Hikaru grips angrily at his knees as he fights back tears.
Haruhi's heart feels heavy and she looks down at her hands, realizing that they're no longer being held by her friends. She bites her lip in frustration, angry that she not only made Tamaki cry, but now the twins are crying, too.
She looks sideways towards Hikaru, watching as he shakes with both anger and sadness. Remembering how her father has comforted her before, she hesitantly raises an arm towards him and gently places it upon his shoulder. He gasps briefly before his face contorts with anguish once again. He throws his arms around her waist, pressing his face into her shoulder.
She nervously pats him upon the back as he takes a few deep breaths to calm himself. "Everything will be okay, Hika. Please don't cry. Tamaki and I are still friends. We'll always love each other, so don't worry." She says.
"It just feels so pointless, Haru. We went through all this pain just for it to end in nothing." Hikaru mumbles against her shoulder, "Why do people love others if it's only gonna end in hurt?"
"Because of the feeling you get when you're with the person you love." Haruhi says, her eyes lighting up as she remembers the spark Tamaki once made her feel, "It makes you happy and nervous all at once. You take the chance because it can really be worth it. I hope you guys get to experience it someday, too."
Kaoru's heart aches as he observes the emotions running through Haruhi's eyes. "Your idea of love sounds wonderful, Haru. I'm glad you and Tamaki got to experience it." She turns to smile at him, only to have him avert his eyes away from her.
Haruhi awakens to bright streams of sunlight shining directly into her eyes. Squinting against the harsh rays, she rolls over onto her side away from the window and pulls the blanket over her head. A frown forms upon her face as she tries her best to fall back to sleep, losing the fight as memories and guilt threaten to keep her awake.
Despite having told herself that today would be a new start, she had spent all night thinking about the many people she possibly hurt or neglected in the past. As she sat there in the dark with her thoughts her heart grew heavier and heavier with regret. She stared at the ceiling and tried to recall any events or mean things she had said to others. Hoping beyond hope that she hadn't been too inconsiderate of other people's feelings as she struggled to come to terms with her own.
Harboring romantic feelings for the bumbling idiot king of the Host Club had been something she never expected. She had been so ashamed to discover she was in love with Tamaki that she fought tooth and nail to deny it. Between her denial and Tamaki's stupidity, they had practically driven everyone crazy. Yet, she was happy that things eventually worked out and she got to be with the one she had fallen for. Things were looking up for her as she not only discovered love, but also got to further her education by studying abroad.
She had been so happy with all the changes that occurred for her and Tamaki that she never really thought about how the other Hosts felt. Between putting up with her and Tamaki's mood swings and dealing with the twins discovering their own feelings of love for her, the end of the host club constantly loomed in the air. Luckily things had become better with her and Tamaki finally coming together, but had the others forgotten about the past or were they still hurting?
Sighing, she sits up in bed and shakes her head to get rid of her thoughts. While Tamaki and her were currently the ones with the broken hearts, she couldn't help but feel like the others still harbored ill feelings for the past even if they weren't going to admit to it.
A knock at the door brings her back to the present and she looks up to see Ranka poking his head into her room.
"Good morning, dear." He says with a sigh, "The twins are here to see you."
"Oh, no! I totally forgot they were picking me up." Haruhi scrambles out of bed, "The others are throwing me a welcome home party today."
Ranka chuckles. "Please be careful and have lots of fun. The boys are waiting for you in the living room. I'm gonna get back to sleep, okay?"
The Hitachiin limo pulls up outside of the main Suoh mansion right as Tamaki and Antoinette come rushing at them yelling and barking happily.
"Thank gosh you're here! What took you guys so long?!" Tamaki cries, pressing his face against the backseat window of the limo.
Kaoru rolls down the window. "Haruhi had to get dressed. We're here now so relax, Boss."
Tamaki blinks at him as the window rolls back up and the door slowly opens. He and Antoinette withdraw themselves from the door, both of them staring wide eyed as Kaoru helps a beautifully dressed Haruhi out of the back seat.
Hikaru watches her stumble out of the back seat, swallowing back a nervous knot as he enjoys the sight of her in one of their dresses. Despite the fact that she had hated their gifts and tried her hardest to reject them, it was astounding to see that she had at least kept one of them. Even more shocking was that she was standing before him wearing one of the last dresses they ever gifted her before she started dating Tamaki. He feels his cheeks redden as he stares at her back, trying not to stare at the hint of her upper leg that she is trying her hardest to hide.
Haruhi struggles with pulling her dress down as Antoinette leaps at her happily, "Senpai, could you get her off of me?" Tamaki gazes at her in awe as she stands before him trying to get his attention. She waves a hand in frustration and he snaps out of his daze, completely unaware of what she had just said to him.
Kaoru claps his hands to get the dog's attention as he notices the look of frustration upon Haruhi's face. "Here, Antoinette! Who's a good girl?"
He lets out a giggle as she runs over and knocks him onto his butt while licking his face. Haruhi smiles at the duo as they play together upon the ground. Kaoru burrows his face into Antoinette's neck and chuckles, scratching her upon her back.
Hikaru climbs out of the limo and shuts the door. His face continues to burn from his blush and he tries his hardest to hide it, knowing that it'll make it harder to be around Haruhi if she sees him looking like that.
He leans against the limo door and smirks as he watches his brother and Haruhi enjoy themselves, glad to see Haruhi looking happy despite being near Tamaki.
The front door to the mansion opens up and Kyoya steps out. He claps his hands loudly in the air, all four teens drawing their attention towards him.
"I was under the impression that fresh food was of utmost importance, Tamaki." Kyoya says as he crosses his arms, "Isn't that why you had the cooks rush the food?"
Tamaki's eyes open wide with shock and he grips his hair. "Oh, no! The food is gonna be cold by the time we sit down. Haruhi is gonna have the worst welcome home party ever and it's all because I was too stupid to control myself!" He falls down on his knees and crawls towards Haruhi. "Haruhi, please forgive me!" Grasping her by the leg, he buries his face in the crook of his arm and fake-sobs loudly.
Sighing, Haruhi bends down and pats him upon the head. "I forgive you, Senpai. Now, get up so we can go inside and enjoy the party."
A bright smile flashes upon Tamaki's face and he jumps up before her, grabbing her into a hug and kissing her upon the forehead. Haruhi pulls away from him as she struggles to control her emotions. Hikaru glares at Tamaki for making things harder for her, irritated that he just had to ruin the moment.
Noticing the tension between the three, Kaoru quickly grabs a hold of Tamaki's arm and drags him away towards the mansion. "Come on, Tono. Let's get inside and have the staff make sure the food is still warm." He mumbles as Tamaki tries to pull himself loose.
Haruhi sighs as she watches Kaoru struggle to pull Tamaki up the stairs and into the mansion. Hikaru approaches her and hesitantly places a hand upon her shoulder to comfort her, the least he can do knowing that it'll take time for her to feel better.
She turns her head to face him and smiles bitterly, gripping his hand as she waits for her nerves to settle down.
"Guess it's gonna take a while for everything to go back to normal, huh?" Hikaru says, flashing her a gentle smile.
"At least I had Kaoru here to help." Haruhi says as Kyoya heads into the mansion and shuts the door "Don't know what I'm gonna do when I'm alone with Tamaki."
"Maybe you two should talk about your feelings again?" Hikaru says quietly, internally hating himself for practically leading her back into Tamaki's arms.
Haruhi frowns. "I think maybe we should take a break from discussing the breakup for a while after this. Just until we can both talk about it calmly."
Hikaru smiles at her words and breathes a sigh of relief. He nods in agreement. "Sounds like a good idea to me, Haru."
As they head towards the front door, Haruhi quickly hugs him around the shoulders. "Thank you for being there for me, Hika." She says, pulling away. Hikaru's heart beats wildly in his chest and he turns his head away from her, his cheeks tingling. Unsure of how to react or what to say to her, he quickly starts to climb up the stairs with Haruhi following after him.
He grabs open the door for her, bowing as she walks through. She thanks him and heads inside. Following her into the mansion, he watches her make her way into the dining room as he closes the front door behind himself.
Leaning backwards against the door, he closes his eyes tightly and waits for his heart to calm down. Sure it was just a simple hug, but Haruhi never really initiated things with him before. It was always him and Kaoru teasing her and touching her against her will. Could it possibly have meant something or was it just her showing appreciation for the fact that he had supported her?
Quickly shaking away any thoughts of hope bubbling up inside of him, Hikaru lets out a sigh and stands up. He readies himself to face the others, hoping that the night goes smoothly.
Haruhi sits upon the stairs hugging her knees as she stares out at the grounds before her. Her heart aches as Tamaki's words repeat in her head over and over again. She expected a dumb speech, so it's not that the speech surprised her; but more-so the fact that he just had to bring feelings of love into it. It had barely been a full day since they broke up and already he was making a big scene out of it.
She lets out a sigh and closes her eyes, laying her head upon her knees. Despite wanting to take her time to work through her emotions and discover what exactly had happened to the feelings she had for Tamaki, it looks like that is no longer going to be an option. Tamaki clearly is torn up about the breakup, which only serves to make her feel even more guilty than she already had felt before.
The door behind her slowly opens and she turns around ready to snap at Tamaki, not feeling like talking to him right now.
Spotting her two best friends, she breathes out a sigh of relief as they take a stand behind her. A smile flashes upon her face, finding it amusing that she's actually glad to see them. They close the door and nervously approach her.
"Mind if we join you?" Hikaru takes a seat to the left of her.
Haruhi pats the step to her right as an invitation for Kaoru. He smiles down at her and sits down beside her.
"You doing okay, Haruhi?" Kaoru asks her as he reaches for her hand. She looks down and frowns before hesitantly allowing him to take her hand in his. He squeezes it gently, waiting for her response.
"...Not really, no." Haruhi mumbles, gripping his hand tightly for support, "I just feel so guilty over breaking up with him. It feels like what I did was wrong and I don't know what to do. I know I didn't feel a spark when he kissed me at the airport. My heart just hurts a lot whenever he gets upset. Does it make me a bad person for breaking up with him?"
"No, it doesn't." Hikaru growls, glaring jealously over at his brother before grabbing a hold of her other hand, "You breaking up with him was the right thing to do. If you don't love someone, why string them along?"
She smiles painfully at him. "I'm glad you feel that way. It just feels like I'm alone now that Tamaki and I broke up. I feel like people won't like me as much now that I've made Tamaki sad."
"You're not alone, Haruhi." Kaoru says as he turns her to face him, "The host club still loves you no matter what."
Hikaru blushes. "Me and Kaoru still love you, you know. We always will, Haruhi."
Haruhi feels herself tear up at their sincerity "Thank you both for being so nice to me. It's a lot to go through by myself and I wish mom was here to help me. I wish I had this type of support back then, too. Maybe things wouldn't be as difficult as they are now."
Hikaru lets go of Haruhi's hand as he remembers the events that led up to Haruhi and Tamaki dating. "It's not like we didn't want to help you, Haruhi. It's that we were sort of dealing with our own feelings too, remember? That would have been... awkward if we had tried to help you out." He mumbles quietly, as a heaviness builds up in his chest.
Kaoru looks over at his brother and frowns as he notices tears in the corners of his eyes. "Hikaru, now isn't the best time to be bringing this up."
Haruhi shakes her head. "No, it's fine, Kao. I actually wanted to talk to you guys about the past."
"Why do you wanna talk about it? It's not like it matters anymore!" Hikaru mumbles as he furiously wipes away his tears and scoots away from her. Squeezing his eyes shut, he turns his face away from the two people beside him.
Haruhi watches Hikaru sit quietly upon the stairs. "I'm sorry. I don't know what good an apology will do after all the pain I caused you guys, but I can't think of anything else to say."
"You can't hide from the past, Hikaru." Kaoru sighs, "Even if it makes you feel bad, we should talk about it. We're friends with Haruhi and that's what people who care about each other do. How are we ever going to return to the way things were if we can't talk?"
"I don't want to talk, Kaoru. I just want to get this break up crap over with so we can go back to being somewhat happy again." Hikaru barks, turning to face them.
Haruhi glares at him. "Quit being so selfish. If you want me to get this break up over with, then I need to talk to you guys."
Hikaru frowns as she reaches up and places a hand upon his face. "Please, Hika? I've been feeling really guilty ever since this break up. It's not just because of the pain I caused Tamaki. It's because of how everyone else must have felt because of me."
"I'm glad you guys remained my friends even after all that happened." She says, grabbing Hikaru's hand again, "After yesterday, I couldn't stop feeling selfish. I realized I never offered to talk with any of you about what was happening between me and Tamaki. You all suffered because of us and we did nothing to help ease your suffering."
"Don't feel like that, Haru. There was nothing wrong with what you did. You were just coping in your own way like the rest of us." Kaoru says, smiling tenderly at her, "It would have been mean for us to expect you to comfort us when you were hurting, too. Besides, it all worked out okay in the end, right?"
"That's not the point, Kaoru." Haruhi sighs, "I know you guys loved me too, and I just shot you down without ever taking your feelings into consideration."
"It's okay now, Haruhi. Whether you accepted our feelings or not, it was a really good experience for us." Kaoru explains, "We learned to find our individual selves, thanks to you. And we got to experience love even if it was short lived." Kaoru flashes her a smile that's a little too fake, his glossy eyes betraying him.
Haruhi notices the sadness behind Kaoru's mask of optimism and frowns. "I know you guys learned from the experience, but that's not what I want to hear. What I want is for you to tell me how you guys actually felt."
Kaoru frowns, taken aback by what he's hearing. "As in... share our pain with you like you're doing with us now?"
"How about we just don't say anything at all." Hikaru barks as he lays his head against the railing, "It's the past, so drop it. No use bringing up bad memories if they're just gonna make us feel like shit again. We'll deal with your break up and pretend all the stuff in the past didn't happen. This is about you, after all. Not us."
"Welcome home, Haruhi!" comes the cheers of the Hosts as Hikaru heads into the dining room. Haruhi smiles brightly from her seat at the end of the long dining table. "I'm happy to be back. I missed you guys a lot!" She smiles at Hikaru as he takes a seat beside Kaoru to the left of her.
"You're our guest of honor. Today is your day, Haruhi." Tamaki says with a forced smile, sitting to the right of her.
Kaoru smirks from his seat beside her, placing a gentle hand upon her arm. "Enjoying yourself, Haruhi?"
"I'm just happy to be home." She says, blushing as her friends smile back at her. Tamaki hesitantly pats her shoulder before quickly withdrawing his hand, causing Haruhi to frown for just a split second before flashing everyone a smile again.
Hikaru notices this and glares at Tamaki, hoping that he doesn't ruin the celebration with his stupidity.
Noticing that his brother seems troubled, Kaoru grabs Hikaru's hand and squeezes it gently. It hadn't even been more than a day since the breakup happened and already Hikaru is exhibiting signs of irritation towards Tamaki.
Hikaru squeezes it back and smiles sideways at his brother. Tamaki's mere presence may be irritating him, but it's easier to deal with when Kaoru is by his side.
Tamaki coughs as everyone situates themselves, a gesture for the staff to begin the welcome home banquet for his guests.
Butlers and maids run around the room placing different sized dishes and platters upon the table. Haruhi feels her appetite grow as she stares at the multiple entrees and side dishes before her. She spots fancy tuna on a dish close to Hikaru and smiles delightfully as she catches his eye. Despite the changing times, Haruhi will always be cute when it comes to her love for fancy tuna. Hikaru looks down at the plate and hands it to her while chuckling, her eyes practically digging into the tuna already.
Haruhi takes the platter from him, their fingertips lightly brushing. He feels his cheeks tingle and practically shoves her hand away, lowering his eyes to the table. She frowns at him in confusion before spooning large quantities onto her plate.
Tamaki stands up and clinks his spoon against his glass for a toast as the other hosts fill their plates. "I want to make a toast to my darling Haruhi. You were sorely missed while gone. The host club and all of Ouran noticed what a difference it made when you were gone."
Haruhi smiles as she shovels some tuna into her mouth and listens to Tamaki's speech. He nods his head at her as he rambles on. "We're so proud that you were able to further your education. You even got a chance to see more of the world while doing so. However, we are glad to have you back and hope that it will stay that way."
"To Haru-chan!" Honey shouts from across the table as he raises his glass of juice in the air. Haruhi and the other hosts copy him before taking a drink and setting their glasses upon the table. Tamaki smiles at her as he sits back in his chair and begins digging into his foie gras with much gusto.
"So, Haruhi, what are your plans now that you're back in Japan?" Kyoya asks her as he takes a sip of his juice, "You are returning to Ouran, yes?"
"Of course!" Haruhi says, finishing her last bite of tuna, "I'm going to finish my senior year at Ouran and then apply for the same law school my mother went to."
The twins flash bright smiles at her. "We're really happy to have you back, Haruhi!"
"It was so boring having an empty desk between us in every class." Kaoru says.
Hikaru cuts his steak into strips. "We had no one to tease so we had to stay quiet for most of the day."
Haruhi smiles sideways at them. "I can't wait to return to Ouran, either. America was a nice change in scenery, but nothing compares to home."
Tamaki blushes brightly as he turns towards her. "I'm so glad you're back, Haruhi. Whether we're dating or not, I'll always love you. Life just isn't the same without you."
An awkward silence washes over the teens as Haruhi sets her spoon down and frowns. "Would you excuse me for a moment?" Scooting her chair back, she stands up and bows at her guests before swiftly walking out of the dining room. The sounds of the front door opening and closing echo through the foyer, an awkward silence settling around everyone.
Hikaru sits up and stares at her. "So, everything wasn't pointless?"
"That's right, Hika." Haruhi smiles brightly as she enjoys the euphoria from sharing her memories of love. She opens her eyes and turns to face him, the smile instantly leaving her face. It doesn't seem fair that she's sitting there so happy while he sits before her looking so miserable.
She hesitantly reaches up and wipes away the tears from his eyes, Hikaru gasping at her touch. A small smile creeps upon his mouth and she smiles back at him, glad to have made him feel a little better.
"It's going to take a while til I'm able to face him again, but my memories really help." She says as she peers into his eyes, "And I have you guys here to support me now, so I won't be alone with just my memories."
"We'll be each other's emotional support." Kaoru says, hesitantly wrapping an arm around Haruhi's shoulder, "That's what... friends are for, right?"
"Does this mean I might have another chance someday, Haru?" Hikaru says quietly, blushing as he continues gazing into her eyes.
Kaoru cringes. "You can't ask her that right now, Hikaru. She just got out of a relationship with Boss. Way too early for that."
Haruhi sighs, "I'm not going to think of love for a while, Hika." Hikaru pulls himself away from her, causing her to sigh in frustration. Try as she might, she seems to upset people without meaning to, just like Tamaki.
Pretending not to notice the sadness in his eyes, she continues talking, "But that doesn't mean you can't love me. I know you guys forced yourselves to back off. Don't hurt yourselves anymore, okay? If I'm not going to return your feelings, I want to do it properly this time unlike the past."
Hikaru smiles. "So, You wouldn't hate me if I said I was still in love with you?"
"Of course not. Thanks to your feelings, you helped me realize I was in love with Tamaki. I feel more calm and at peace since I came to terms with my feelings. They're not there anymore, so why should you have to keep hiding yours?" Haruhi shrugs.
"Regardless of the outcome, we'll always be here for you, Haruhi." Kaoru flashes her a small smile. "Just promise me you'll do what's right for you and not what you think is right for others. There's no need to stress yourself out anymore for the sake of others, especially not Tamaki."
Haruhi lets out a content laugh. "I'm so glad we had this talk. I feel a thousand times better about the past and the breakup. It feels like I'll be able to face Tamaki for the rest of the day even if he says anything else stupid. As crazy as this sounds, I think I'm going to enjoy having you guys around."
"Glad we could help." Hikaru mumbles as he swallows back a nervous knot.
"Ready to go back?" Kaoru stands up and offers her his hand. "Maybe they'll have more fatty tuna for you?"
Haruhi takes a hold of his hand and stands up slowly, trying to keep her dress from riding up. "I really hope so. That was the best dish of the meal, so far."
She turns towards Hikaru and offers him her hand, smirking as he blushes up at her.
"Let's go get you some more tuna." He accepts her hand and rises beside her.
Kaoru opens the door for them and they file into the mansion, ready to continue on with the celebration.
"Polyamorous" (Haruhi x Tamaki/Hikaru/Kaoru) an AMV I made for this story on Youtube:
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